第一篇：英語(yǔ)小幽默

The father and his son

Father: You know, Tom.When Lincoln was your age,he was a very good student.In fact, he was thebest student in his class.Tom:Yes, father.I know that.But when he was your

age, he was President of the U.S.A.

第二篇：英語(yǔ)小幽默

Joke:Bill, AL and Bill

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed.They're up in heaven, and God`s sitting on the great white throne.God addressed Al first.“Al, what do you believe in?”

Al replied, “Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used,the whole earth will become a

greenhouse and we`ll all die.” God thinks for a second and said, “Okay, I can live with that.Come and sit at my left.”

God then addresses Bill Clinton.“Bill, what do you believe in?”

Bill Clinton replies, “Well, I believe in power to the people.I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do.I also believe in feeling people`s pain.” God thinks for a second and says

“Okay, that sounds good.Come and sit at my right.”

God then address Bill Gates.“Bill Gates, what do you believe in?”

Bill Gates said, “I believe you`re in my chair.”

人之初：At the begining of life.性本善：Sex is good.性相近：Basically,all the sex are same.習(xí)相遠(yuǎn)：But it depends on how the way you do it.茍不教：If you do not practise all the time.性乃遷：Sex will leave you..教之道：The way of learning it

貴以專：is very important to make love with only one person.昔孟母：Once a great mother, Mrs Meng

擇鄰處：chose her neighbour to avoid bad sex influence.子不學(xué)：If you don't study hard,斷機(jī)杼：Your Dick will become useless.竇燕山 Dou, the Famous

有義方 owned a very effective exciting medicine

教五子 All his five son took it

名俱揚(yáng) and their sexual ability were well-kown.養(yǎng)不教 If your children don't know how to do it,父之過(guò) It is all your fault.教不嚴(yán) If they had lots of problems with it,師之惰 their teach must be too lazy to tell them details on sex.子不學(xué) You may refuse to study this

非所宜 but that is a real mistake

幼不學(xué) If you don't learn it in childhood,老何為 you will lose your ability when aged

玉不琢 If you don't exercise your dick,不成器 It won't become hard and strong.人不學(xué) If you don't learn sex,不知義 You can by no means enjoy its sweetness

Bush got something wrong with his brain.After medical examination, doctor tells him:

Your brain has two parts: one is left, and another is right.Your left brain has nothing right,Your right brain has nothing left.Old Man And Donkey

There was an old man, a boy and a donkey.They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride.As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk.The man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they changed positions.Later, they passed some more people who thought that it was a real shame for that man to make such asmall boy walk.The two decided that maybe they both should walk.Soon they passed some more people who thought that it was stupid to walk when they had a donkey to ride.The man and the boy decided maybe the critics were right so they decided that they both should ride.They soon passed other people who thought that it was a shame to put such a load on a poor little animal.The old man and the boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they decided to carry the donkey.As they crossed a bridge they lost their grip on the animal and it fell into the river and drowned.The moral of the story is...if you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.

第三篇：英語(yǔ)幽默小故事

英語(yǔ)幽默小故事

Where is the egg? Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word “egg”? Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher:Then where is the “egg"? Student:In the cake,Sir.雞蛋在哪里？

老師：你能用“雞蛋”一詞造句嗎？ 學(xué)生：可以。我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕。老師：“雞蛋”在哪？ 學(xué)生：在蛋糕里，先生 Son: Dad, give me a dime.Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes? Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you? 兒子：爸爸，給我一角錢。

父親：兒子，你不認(rèn)為你已經(jīng)長(zhǎng)大了，不該再老是一角一角地要錢了(該自立了)，不是嗎？

兒子：爸爸，我想你是對(duì)的，那給我一塊錢行嗎？

I'm sorry，Madam，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth.”

“Twenty d ollars!Why，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

“Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office.”

“對(duì)不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！為什么？不是說(shuō)好只要4美元。”

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個(gè)病人嚇跑了。”

Ten Candies

Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”

“Ten.” Jim says.“Then,” Mother asks.“Yes, Mum.Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach.Four and six is ten, isn’t it right?”

十塊糖

媽媽問(wèn)兒子：“吉姆，如果你有10塊糖，吃了4塊，那你還有幾塊糖？”

“10塊。”吉姆說(shuō)。

“10塊？”媽媽問(wèn)。

“是的，媽媽。因?yàn)?塊在我的肚子里面，6塊在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不對(duì)嗎？”

It’s Good to Admit a Fault John is not a “good” student.He always sleeps in the class.Today he sleeps again.“John!” Teacher says angrily.“What? What’s wrong?” John is awaken.“Why do you make a face? It’s classroom.Look!Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says.“No one is laughing.” Teacher says.“No, it’s not me.I was not making a face.I was sleeping.” John fells upset.“Um.Not bad.You can admit your fault.You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it.認(rèn)錯(cuò)

約翰并不是個(gè)“好”學(xué)生。他總是在上課的時(shí)候睡覺(jué)。今天他又睡著了。

“約翰！”老師生氣地喊他。

“什么？出什么事了？”約翰醒了。

“你為什么要做鬼臉？這是教室！看看！同學(xué)們都在笑！”老師生氣地說(shuō)。“沒(méi)有人在笑呀。”其他同學(xué)笑聲地嘀咕。

“不，不是我。我沒(méi)有做鬼臉。剛才我睡著了。”約翰感到不安。

“嗯，還不錯(cuò)。你承認(rèn)自己的錯(cuò)誤，還是給好孩子”老師為此感到滿意。

Adding Feet to a Snake

One day, Mr.Lion holds a party.Many animals come and drink a lot of wine.At last there is a pot of wine.Who can drink it? They drink out an idea and decide to have a match-Draw a snake.If you finish first, you can get it.Soon Mr.Wolf finishes drawing.“Yeah, I’ve finished.I’m No.1,” he says.But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet and my snake.” At the time, Mr.Gorilla also finishes.He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isn’t a snake.Snakes have no feet.I get the wine.”

畫蛇添足

一天，獅子先生舉行一場(chǎng)聚會(huì)，許多動(dòng)物都來(lái)了，他們喝很多酒。最后只剩一壺酒了。讓誰(shuí)喝呢？它們想了想，有個(gè)主意。它們比賽畫蛇，誰(shuí)最快畫好，誰(shuí)就喝這壺酒。

不一會(huì)，狼先生畫好了。“哈，我畫好了，我是第一個(gè)。”它說(shuō)。可是它又畫了起來(lái)，它還說(shuō)：“再給它加幾只腳吧。”這是猩猩先生也畫好了。它拿起那酒壺喝起來(lái)。一邊喝一邊說(shuō)：“那不是蛇，蛇是沒(méi)有腳的，我贏了這壺酒。”

Covering One’s Ears While Stealing a Bell

Mr.Wang thinks he is clever, but he always does foolish things.One day he sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door.“Oh!How nice!I will take it home.” He thinks, “What can I do?” After a while he has a “good” idea.“Aha!I have an idea now.I can plug my ears.Then I will not hear the ring when I take off the bell.”

Then he does so.But as soon as he takes off the bell, the owner opens the door.“What ate you doing?” the owner says angrily.掩耳盜鈴

王先生總以為自己很聰明，實(shí)際上他總干傻事。

一天，他看見(jiàn)一戶人家的門頭有個(gè)很漂亮的鈴鐺。“啊，真漂亮啊！我要把它拿回家去。”他自言自語(yǔ)道：“我該怎么做呢？”過(guò)了一會(huì)兒他想到了一個(gè)“好”主意。“啊哈！我有辦法了！我把耳朵堵上，拿鈴鐺的時(shí)候就聽(tīng)不見(jiàn)鈴聲了。”

于是他就這樣做了。可是他剛拿下鈴鐺，屋子的主人就打開(kāi)門，怒氣沖沖地說(shuō)：“你在干什么？”

Look at the Sky from the Bottom of a Well

There is a frog.He lives in a well and he never goes out of the well.He thinks the sky is as big as the mouth of the well.One day a crow comes to the well.He sees the frog and says, “Frog, let’s have a talk.” Then the frog asks, “Where are you from?” “I fly from the sky,” the crow says.The frog feels surprised and says, “The sky is only as big as the mouth of the well.How do you fly from the sky?”

The crow says, “The sky is very big.You always stay in the well, so you don’t know the world is big.”

The frog says, “I don’t believe.” But the crow says, “You can come out and have a look by yourself.”

So the frog comes out from the well.He is very surprised.How big the world is!

坐井觀天

有一只青蛙住在井底，他從來(lái)沒(méi)有去過(guò)井外面。他以為天空就和井口一樣大。一天，一只烏鴉飛到井邊，看見(jiàn)青蛙，就對(duì)它說(shuō)：“青蛙，咱們聊聊吧。”青蛙就問(wèn)他：“你從哪里來(lái)？”“我從天上上來(lái)。青蛙驚訝了，就說(shuō)：“天空就只有這井口這么大，你怎么會(huì)從天上飛老呢？”

烏鴉說(shuō)：“天空很大。只不過(guò)你一直呆在井里，所有不知道世界很大。”青蛙說(shuō)：“我不相信。”烏鴉說(shuō)：“你可以出來(lái)，自己看看嘛。” 于是青蛙來(lái)到井外。他十分驚訝，原來(lái)世界這么大！

The Clever King Solomon

Long, long ago, there was a king.Solomon was his name.He was very clever.In his country, there were two women.They lived in the same house and each had a child.One night, one of the babies died.The dead baby’s mother took the other woman’s baby, and put it in her own bed.The next morning , they had a quarrel.“No, this is my baby!” The dead is yours!”

Each one wanted the living baby.So they went to see King Solomon.“Bring me a knife, cut the child into two and five each woman one half.” said the King.“Oh.Your Majesty!Give her my baby.Please don’t kill my baby!”

Then King Solomon pointed to the woman in teas and said, “Give the baby to her.She is the mother.”

聰明的國(guó)王所羅門

很久很久之前，有一位國(guó)王，他的名字叫所羅門，他非常聰明。

在他的國(guó)家里，有兩位婦女，她們住在同一間房子里。各有一個(gè)嬰兒。

一天夜里，其中一個(gè)嬰兒死了。他的媽媽抱另一位婦女的小孩，把他放在自己的床上。

第二天早上，他們發(fā)生了爭(zhēng)吵。

“不，這是我的孩子！這個(gè)死的是你的！”

他們都想要這個(gè)活著的孩子，于是她們?nèi)ヒ?jiàn)所羅門國(guó)王。

“給我拿把刀來(lái)，把這個(gè)孩子切成兩半，沒(méi)人一半。”國(guó)王判決道。

“哦，陛下，把我的孩子給她吧。請(qǐng)不要?dú)⒘宋业暮⒆樱　币晃荒赣H哭喊道。于是所羅門指著流淚的婦女說(shuō)：“把孩子給她，她是真正的母親。”

Two Holes for the Dogs

My uncle has two dogs.One is big and the other is small.He likes them very much.One day, Mr.Smith came to visit him.When the friend saw two holes in the door, a large hole and a small hole, he was surprised and said, “My dear friend, why are there two holes in your door?” “Let my dogs come in and come out, of course,” Mr.Smith asked.“But why are there two holes? One is enough!” “But how can the big dog go through the small hole?” my uncle said.Sometimes a clever man may make such mistakes.兩個(gè)狗洞

我的叔叔有兩條狗。一只是大的，另一只是小狗的。他很喜歡它們。

有一天，史密斯先生來(lái)看他。當(dāng)這個(gè)朋友看見(jiàn)門口上有連個(gè)洞，一個(gè)是大洞和一個(gè)小洞時(shí)，他感到吃驚并說(shuō)，“我親愛(ài)的朋友，為什么你的門上有連個(gè)洞？”我的叔叔回答說(shuō)：“當(dāng)然是讓我的兩條狗進(jìn)出了。” 史密斯先生問(wèn)到：“ 為什么門上要兩個(gè)洞呢？一個(gè)就足夠了。” 我叔叔說(shuō)：“大狗怎能走小洞呢？” 有時(shí)聰明的人可能會(huì)犯這樣的錯(cuò)誤。

第四篇：英語(yǔ)幽默小故事

英語(yǔ)幽默小故事

The Bear and the Two Travelers

TWO man were traveling together, when a Bear suddenly met them on their path.One of them climbed up quickly into a tree and concealed himself in the branches.The other, seeing that he must be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the Bear came up and felt him with his snout, and smelt him all over, he held his breath, and feigned the appearance of death as much as he could.The Bear soon left him, for it is said he will not touch a dead body.When he was quite gone, the other Traveler descended from the tree, and jocularly inquired of his friend what it was the Bear had whispered in his ear.“He gave me this advice,” his companion replied.“Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach of danger.”

An ant went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst, and being carried away by the rush of the stream, was on the point of drowning.A Dove sitting on a tree overhanging the water plucked a leaf and let it fall into the stream close to her.The Ant climbed onto it and floated in safety to the bank.Shortly afterwards a bird catcher came and stood under the tree, and laid his lime-twigs for the Dove, which sat in the branches.The Ant, perceiving his design, stung him in the foot.In pain the bird catcher threw down the twigs, and the noise made the Dove take wing.One good turn deserves another

Love Your Life

熱愛(ài)生活

Henry David Thoreau/享利.大衛(wèi).梭羅

However mean your life is,meet it and live it;do not shun it and call it hard names.It is not so bad as you are.It looks poorest when you are richest.The fault-finder will find faults in paradise.Love your life,poor as it is.You may perhaps have some pleasant,thrilling,glorious hourss,even in a poor-house.The setting sun is reflected from the windows of the alms-house as brightly as

from the rich man’s abode;the snow melts before its door as early in the spring.I do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there,and have as cheering thoughts,as in a palace.The town’s poor seem to me often to live the most in dependent lives of any.May be they are simply great enough to receive without misgiving.Most think that they are above being supported by the town;

but it of ten happens that they are not above supporting themselves by dishonest means.which should be more disreputable.Cultivate poverty like a garden herb,like sage.Do not trouble yourself much to get new things,whether clothes or friends,Turn the old,return to them.Things do not change;we change.Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.不論你的生活如何卑賤，你要面對(duì)它生活，不要躲避它，更別用惡言咒罵它。它不像你那樣壞。你最富有的時(shí)候，倒是看似最窮。愛(ài)找缺點(diǎn)的人就是到天堂里也能找到缺點(diǎn)。你要愛(ài)你的生活，盡管它貧窮。甚至在一個(gè)濟(jì)貧院里，你也還有愉快、高興、光榮的時(shí)候。夕陽(yáng)反射在濟(jì)貧院的窗上，像身在富戶人家窗上一樣光亮；在那門前，積雪同在早春融化。

我只看到，一個(gè)從容的人，在哪里也像在皇宮中一樣，生活得心滿意足而富有愉快的思想。城鎮(zhèn)中的窮人，我看，倒往往是過(guò)著最獨(dú)立不羈的生活。也許因?yàn)樗麄兒軅ゴ螅允苤疅o(wú)愧。大多數(shù)人以為他們是超然的，不靠城鎮(zhèn)來(lái)支援他們；可是事實(shí)上他們是往往利用了不正當(dāng)?shù)氖侄蝸?lái)對(duì)付生活，他們是毫不超脫的，毋寧是不體面的。視貧窮如園中之花而像圣人一樣耕植它吧！不要找新的花樣，無(wú)論是新的朋友或新的衣服，來(lái)麻煩你自己。找舊的，回到那里去。萬(wàn)物不變，是我們?cè)谧儭Ｄ愕囊路梢再u掉，但要保留你的思想。

Ladies and Gentlemen, Good morning!I’m very glad to stand here and give you a short speech.Man’s life is a process of growing up, actually I’m standing here is a growth.If a person’s life must constituted by various choices, then I grow up along with these choices.Once I hope I can study in a college in future, however that’s passed, as you know I come here, now I wonder what the future holds for me.When I come to this school, I told to myself: this my near future, all starts here.Following I will learn to become a man, a integrated man, who has a fine body, can take on important task, has independent thought, an open mind, intensive thought, has the ability to judge right and wrong, has a perfect job.

Once my teacher said :” you are not sewing, you are stylist;never forget which you should lay out to people is your thought, not craft.” I will put my personality with my interest and ability into my study, during these process I will combine learning with doing.If I can achieve this “future”, I think that I really grow up.And I deeply believe kindred, good-fellowship and love will perfection and happy in the future.

How to say future? Maybe it’s a nice wish.Lets make up our minds, stick to it

and surely well enjoy our life.中文大意：）~

女士們，先生們，上午好。我很高興在這里為大家作一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短的講話。

人的一生是一個(gè)成長(zhǎng)的過(guò)程，事實(shí)上，我現(xiàn)在站在這里也是一次成長(zhǎng)。如果一個(gè)人的一生必須面臨不同的選擇，那么我就是伴隨著這些選擇成長(zhǎng)起來(lái)的。曾經(jīng)我盼望將來(lái)能上大學(xué)，然而那已經(jīng)過(guò)去了，現(xiàn)在我在這兒，只想知道我的未來(lái)會(huì)是什么樣的。

當(dāng)我來(lái)到這所學(xué)校，我告訴我自己：我不久的將來(lái)都從這里開(kāi)始。接著我要學(xué)習(xí)如何做人，如何做一個(gè)正直的人，并且擁有一個(gè)健康的體魄，能承擔(dān)重要的任務(wù)，能獨(dú)立思考，思想開(kāi)放，心思縝密，有判斷是非的能力，有一份不錯(cuò)的工作。

我的老師曾經(jīng)告訴我說(shuō)：“你不是在修補(bǔ)而是在創(chuàng)造；永遠(yuǎn)不要忘記你向人們所展示的是你的思想，而不是你的手藝。”我會(huì)將我的性格，興趣愛(ài)好和能力一起融入到學(xué)習(xí)中去。在這過(guò)程中，我邊學(xué)習(xí)邊實(shí)踐。如果我能實(shí)現(xiàn)這個(gè)“未來(lái)”，我就認(rèn)為我真的成長(zhǎng)了。并且我深信我的親人，好朋友以及愛(ài)會(huì)使我的未來(lái)更完美，更幸福。

如何來(lái)解釋未來(lái)呢? 也許那只是一個(gè)美好的愿望。讓我們下定決心，堅(jiān)持到底，那我們的人生一定能過(guò)得很精彩。

世界節(jié)日（1）Spring Festival（春節(jié)）

作者：節(jié)日轉(zhuǎn)貼自：本站原創(chuàng)點(diǎn)擊數(shù)：578文章錄入： 湖北華審

The New Moon on the first day of the new year--the full moon 15 days later

Chinese New Year starts with the New Moon（新月）on the first day of the new year and ends on the full moon（滿月）15 days later.The 15th day of the new year is called the Lantern Festival（元宵節(jié)）, which is celebrated at night with lantern displays and children carrying lanterns in a parade.The Chinese calendar is based on a combination of lunar and solar movements.The lunar cycle（月運(yùn)周期）is about 29.5 days.In order to “catch up” with the solar calendar the Chinese insert an extra month once every few years(seven years out of a 19-yearcycle).This is the same as adding an extra day on leap year（閏年）.This is why, according to the solar calendar, the Chinese New Year falls on a different date each year.New Year's Eve and New Year's Day are celebrated as a family affair, a time of reunion and thanksgiving.The celebration was traditionally highlighted with a religious ceremony given in honor of Heaven and Earth（萬(wàn)物）, the gods of the household and the family ancestors.The sacrifice to the ancestors, the most vital of all the rituals（儀式）, united the living members with those who had passed away.Departed relatives are remembered with great respect because they were responsible for laying the foundations for the fortune and glory of the family.The presence of the ancestors is acknowledged on New Year's Eve with a dinner arranged for them at the family banquet table.The spirits of the ancestors,together with the living, celebrate the onset of the New Year as one great community.The communal feast called “surrounding the stove” or weilu.It symbolizes family unity and honors the past and present generations.The Origin of Chinese New Year

The Chinese New Year is now popularly known as the Spring Festival because it starts from the Begining of Spring(the first of the twenty-four terms in coodination with the changes of Nature).Its origin is too old to be traced.Several explanations are hanging around.All agree, however, that the word Nian, which in modern Chinese solely means “year”, was originally the name of a monster beast that started to prey on people the night before the beginning of a new year.One legend goes that the beast Nian had a very big mouth that would swallow a great many people with one bite.People were very scared.One day, an old man came to their rescue, offering to subdue Nian.To Nian he said, “I hear say that you are very capable, but can you swallow the other beasts of prey on earth instead of people who are by no means of your worthy opponents?” So, it did swallow many of the beasts of prey on earth that also harrassed people and their domestic animals from time to time.After that, the old man disappeared riding the beast Nian.He turned out to be an immortal god.Now that Nian is gone and other beasts of prey are also scared into forests, people begin to enjoy their peaceful life.Before the old man left, he had told people to put up red paper decorations on their windows and doors at each year's end to scare away Nian in case it sneaked back again, because red is the color the beast feared the most.From then on, the tradition of observing the conquest of Nian is carried on from generation to generation.The term “Guo Nian”, which may mean “Survive the Nian” becomes today “Celebrate the(New)Year” as the word “guo” in Chinese having both the meaning of “pass-over” and “observe”.The custom of putting up red paper and firing fire-crackers to scare away Nian should it have a chance to run loose is still around.However, people today have long forgotten why they are doing all this, except that they feel the color and the sound add to the excitement of the celebration.Traditional New Year Foods

Probably more food is consumed during the New Year celebrations than any other time of the year.Vast amounts of traditional food is prepared for family and friends, as well as those close to us who have died.On New Year's Day, the Chinese family will eat a vegetarian dish called jai.Although the various ingredients in jai are root vegetables or fibrous vegetables, many people attribute various superstitious aspects to them.Other foods include a whole fish, to represent togetherness and abundance, and a chicken for prosperity.The chicken must be presented with a head, tail and feet to symbolize completeness.Noodles should be uncut, as they represent long life.In south China, the favorite and most typical dishes were nian gao, sweet

steamed glutinous rice（糯米）pudding and zong zi(glutinous rice wrapped up in reed（蘆葦）leaves), another popular delicacy.In the north, steamed-wheat bread(man tou)and small meat dumplings were the preferred food.The tremendous amount of food prepared at this time was meant to symbolize abundance and wealth for the household.The 15-Day Celebration of Chinese New Year

The first day of the Lunar New Year is “the welcoming of the gods of the heavens and earth.”Many people abstain from meat on the first day of the new year because it is believed that this will ensure long and happy lives for them.On the second day, the Chinese pray to their ancestors as well as to all the gods.They are extra kind to dogs and feed them well as it is believed that the second day is the birthday of all dogs.The third and fourth days are for the sons-in-laws to pay respect to their parents-in-law.The fifth day is called Po Woo.On that day people stay home to welcome the God of Wealth.No one visits families and friends on the fifth day because it will bring both parties bad luck.On the sixth to the 10th day, the Chinese visit their relatives and friends freely.They also visit the temples to pray for good fortune and health.The seventh day of the New Year is the day for farmers to display their produce.These farmers make a drink from seven types of vegetables to celebrate the occasion.The seventh day is also considered the birthday of human beings.Noodles are eaten to promote longevity and raw fish for success.On the eighth day the Fujian people have another family reunion dinner, and at midnight they pray to Tian Gong, the God of Heaven.The ninth day is to make offerings to the Jade Emperor.The 10th through the 12th are days that friends and relatives should be invited for dinner.After so much rich food, on the 13th day you should have simple rice congee and mustard greens(choi sum)to cleanse the system.The 14th day should be for preparations to celebrate the Lantern Festival which is to be held on the 15th night.Auspicious words:

Treasures fill the homeBusiness flourishesPeace all year roundWishing you prosperity

Harmony brings wealth May all your wishes come trueEverything goes wellThe country flourishes and people live in peace

Money and treasures will be plentifulWishing you every successPromoting to a higher positionSafe trip wherever you go

第五篇：英語(yǔ)幽默小故事

A: We have got a new dog.Would you like to come around and play with him? B: Well, I don't know---does he bite?

A: That's what I want to find out.The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled（被寵壞的）.His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him.He hardly left her side.And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum（亂發(fā)脾氣）.Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along(相處)all right? did you cry? Cry? John asked.No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!

六歲的約翰嬌生慣養(yǎng)。他的父親知道這一點(diǎn)，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是鬧。他第一天上學(xué)才離開(kāi)祖母的懷抱。

約翰放學(xué)了，他奶奶在門口接他并問(wèn)道：學(xué)校怎么樣？你過(guò)的好嗎？哭了沒(méi)有？ 哭？約翰問(wèn)，不，我沒(méi)哭，可老師哭了。

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, “What happened?” “A kid bit me,” replied Ivan.“Would you recognize him if you saw him again?” asked his mother.“I'd know him any where,” said Ivan.“I have his ear in my pocket.”

伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問(wèn)，“發(fā)生了什么事？”

“一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說(shuō)。

“再見(jiàn)到他你能認(rèn)出來(lái)嗎？”媽媽問(wèn)。

“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說(shuō)。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”

come homego homeget home

當(dāng) home 前面 有所有格形式 時(shí)是名詞可用 come to比如 come to one?s home

另外這三個(gè)都表示“回家”。方向是一回事，我想最重要的是說(shuō)話者的方位。

如“When will you come home?”說(shuō)明說(shuō)者在家，或是他的家人；而“When will you go home?" 一般情況下，說(shuō)者不在家中。

至于get home，強(qiáng)調(diào)的是已經(jīng)到家，get有確定到達(dá)的意思。