第一篇：英語幽默故事

英語幽默故事

There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot.There werethree parrots in the shop.One was $5,000;another one, $10,000;and the third one, $30,000.The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That?s so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on.That?s why he?s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I don?t know.Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all!But the other two call him ?The Boss.?”

老板最大 有個人到一間商店買鸚鵡。店里有三只鸚鵡，其中一只賣五千元，另一只賣一萬元，還有一只賣三萬元。顧客問老板：「為什么這只要賣五千元？這個價錢對這種鸚鵡來說太貴了！」老板說：「因為我有訓練他講話。」顧客又問：「那這只呢？他會做什么？為什么要賣這么貴？」老板說：「他除了會說話之外，還會表演一些有趣的動作，好比說跳舞等等，所以才賣這么貴。」顧客接著又問：「那第三只呢？他會做什么？為什么要賣這么貴？」老板說：「我不知道。我從沒聽過他講話、吹口哨或唱歌，也沒看過他跳舞，什么都沒有！不過另外兩只叫他：『老板！』」

Where is the egg? Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word “egg”? Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher:Then where is the “egg“? Student:In the cake,Sir.雞蛋在哪里？

老師：你能用“雞蛋”一詞造句嗎？ 學生：可以。我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕。老師：“雞蛋”在哪？ 學生：在蛋糕里，先生

Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old.Once he goes to a cinema.It is the first time for him to do that.He buys a ticket and goes in.But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again.After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket.Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket.But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”

湯姆是個小孩，他才7歲。當他去電影院的時候。那時他第一次去。他買了張票進去了。但沒過兩三分鐘他就出來了，然后買了第二張票又進去了。幾分鐘后他又出來買了第三張票。接著兩三分鐘后他又出來買票。一個女的問她，“你為什么要買那么多票啊? 你見到了幾個朋友？” “沒有，我里面沒朋友，但是每當我進門的時候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了”

Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him.Man:He is really somebody.What does do? Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery 他真是一個大人物

小孩：我叔叔下面有1000個人。

男人：他真是一個大人物。他是干什么的？ 小孩：墓地守墓人。

Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?

Student: Of course.He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.一名偉人

老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會是一名偉人嗎？ 學生：當然。因為到目前為止，還沒有人活到400多歲。

Mr.Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat that kills it.史密斯先生：服務員，我的湯里有一只死蒼蠅．

服務員：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被燙死的．

Son: Dad, give me a dime.Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes? Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you? 兒子：爸爸，給我一角錢。

父親：兒子，你不認為你已經長大了，不該再老是一角一角地要錢了(該自立了)，不是嗎？

兒子：爸爸，我想你是對的，那給我一塊錢行嗎？

A little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate.Sometimes the kids think they fall in love when they have a crush on someone else in the class, when they?re eight or ten years old or something like that.So the eight-year-old kid came back home and asked his father, “Father, is it expensive to be married?” And the father said, “Yes, son, it is very expensive.” So the son asked, “How much does it cost?” And the father said, “I don?t know, son.I?m still paying.”

有個小孩愛上了另一個小孩，對方是學校的同學。八歲或十歲左右的孩子有時會迷戀班上某個人，然后就以為自己戀愛了。因此這個八歲的小孩回家問他爸爸：「爸爸，結婚很花錢嗎？」爸爸說：「是啊，兒子，非常花錢。」兒子又問：「要花多少錢呢？」爸爸說：「我不知道，兒子，我到現在還一直在付錢啊！」

“Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?” “No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it.”

“孩子，你為什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了嗎？”

“沒有，老師。可是你昨天說你告訴我的知識都是一個耳朵里進，一個耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”

“I'm sorry，Madam，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth.” “Twenty d ollars!Why，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

“Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office.”

“對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！為什么？不是說好只要4美元。”

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。”

TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract.Now，can anyone give me a good example?

John：Well，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理。現在，誰給我舉個例子？

約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長，在冬天天都短。

The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours.then he started again, and said he:“Let me ask the evolutionist a question---if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?”

“I'll venture an answer, ” said an old lady.“We have worn them off sitting here so long.”.教進化論的老師已經滔滔不絕地講了快兩個小時，他的話題又來了：“讓我向進化論者提個問題——如果我們曾經像狒狒那樣長著尾巴，那么現在尾巴到哪里去了？”

“我來試試看，”一位老太太說。

“該是我們在這里坐這么久把它們磨掉了吧。”

A man was going to the house of some rich person.As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road.He said, “I do not want to eat those apples;for the rich man will give me much food;he will give me very nice food to eat.” Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.He went on and came to a river.The river had become very big;so he could not go over it.He waited for some time;then he said, “I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river.” He began to go home.He had eaten no food that day.He began to want food.He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.Do not throw good things away;you may be glad to have them at some other time.【譯文】 一個人正朝著一個富人的房子走去，當他沿著路走時，在路的一邊他發現一箱好蘋果，他說：“我不打算吃那些蘋果，因為富人會給我更多的食物，他會給我很好吃的東西。”然后他拿起蘋果，一把扔到土里去。他繼續走，來到河邊，河漲水了，因此，他到不了河對岸，他等了一會兒，然后他說：“今天我去不了富人家了，因為我不能渡過河。” 他開始回家，那天他沒有吃東西。他就開始去找吃的，他找到蘋果，很高興地把它們從塵土中翻出來吃了。不要把好東西扔掉，換個時候你會覺得它們大有用處。

愛樂奇，游世界，學英語，專為5-12歲兒童設計的英語學習網站，歡迎訪問：http://www.tmdps.cn/alo777

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.“What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”

“I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered.“You're a good boy,” said the mother proudly.“Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.”

好孩子

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

“昨天給你的錢干什么了？”

“我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。“你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home.At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.Now, he asked, “What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?” “Well, my son,” his father replied, “look, there are standing two policemen.If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.”

“But, dad,” the boy said, “ there's only ONE policeman!”

醉酒

一天，父親與小兒子一塊兒回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，?醉?字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸，”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”

Sleeping Pills

Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night.He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm.He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: “I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.”

“That's fine,” roared the boss, “but where were you Monday and Tuesday?”

安眠藥

鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫生，醫生給他開了一些強力安眠藥。

星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老板說：“我今天早上起床一點麻煩都沒有。” “好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了？”

普通英語故事

Story 1 I Don?t Like Her

Bob goes to a new school.One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don?t like her, Mother.Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.” 故事1 我不喜歡她

鮑勃的去了所新學校。

一天，他回到家，他媽媽問他：“你喜歡你的新老師嗎？”

“不，我不喜歡她，媽媽。因為她先說3加3等于6，然后她又說2加4等于6.”

Story 2 Ten Candies

Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”

“Ten.” Jim says.“Then,” Mother asks.“Yes, Mum.Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach.Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?”

故事2 十塊糖

媽媽問兒子：“吉姆，如果你有10塊糖，吃了4塊，那你還有幾塊糖？”

“10塊。”吉姆說。

“10塊？”媽媽問。

“是的，媽媽。因為4塊在我的肚子里面，6塊在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不對嗎？”

Story 3 Count Tomorrow Morning

It?s a right.John is looking at the sky.Tom is John?s younger brother.He asks John “What are you doing?”

John says, “I?m counting stars.”

Tom laughs and says, “It?s really dark now.Why not count them tomorrow morning?”

故事3 明天早上數

這是一個晚上。約翰抬頭看著天空。

湯姆是約翰的弟弟。他問約翰：“你在干什么？” 約翰說：“我在數星星。”

湯姆笑著說：“現在天空太黑了。你為什么不等到明天早上再數呢？”

Story 4

Are Flies Yummy?

Tony and his father are eating dinner.Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?”

Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it?s yucky.Why do you ask me this question? It?s a silly question.”

But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.”

故事4 蒼蠅好吃嗎？

托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。

突然，托尼問他的爸爸：“爸爸，蒼蠅好吃嗎？”

爸爸皺眉說：“我想不好吃。你怎么會問這個問題？這可是一個愚蠢的問題。”

可是托尼說：“剛才你盤子里有一只蒼蠅。”

Story 5 I Don?t Want to Walk Home

Tom is a very old man.After dinner, he likes walking in the street.And he goes to bed at seven o?clock.But tonight, a car stopped at his house.A policeman helps him get out.He tells Tom?s wife, “The old man couldn?t find his way in the street.He asked me to take him in the car.”

After the policeman leaves there, his wife asks, “Tom, you go to the street every night.But tonight you can?t find the way, what?s the matter?”

The old man smiles like a child and says, “I couldn?t find my way? I didn?t want to walk home.”

故事5 我不想走回家

湯姆是一位老人，他喜歡在晚飯后到大街上散步，在7點回來睡覺。

但是，今天晚上一輛小汽車停在他家門前，湯姆在一位警察的幫助下走下汽車。警察告訴湯姆的妻子：“這位老人在街上迷路了，他讓我用汽車送他回來。”

警察走后：“湯姆，你每天都到那條街上散步，但是今天你迷路了，你怎么了？”

這位老人像孩子般的笑道：“我迷路了？我是不想走路回家。”

Story 6 It Must Be Crowded A teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large.Several millions people can live there.”

And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when it?s a crescent moon.” 故事6 一定很擁擠

一位告訴學生：“月亮非常大，上面能住幾百人。”

一個男孩笑著說：“當月亮變成月牙的時候，住在上面的人該多擁擠啊！”

Story 7 It?s Good to Admit a Fault

John is not a “good” student.He always sleeps in the class.Today he sleeps again.“John!” Teacher says angrily.“What? What?s wrong?” John is awaken.“Why do you make a face? It?s classroom.Look!Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says.“No one is laughing.” Teacher says.“No, it?s not me.I was not making a face.I was sleeping.” John fells upset.“Um.Not bad.You can admit your fault.You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it.故事 7 認錯

約翰并不是個“好”學生。他總是在上課的時候睡覺。今天他又睡著了。

“約翰！”老師生氣地喊他。“什么？出什么事了？”約翰醒了。

“你為什么要做鬼臉？這是教室！看看！同學們都在笑！”老師生氣地說。“沒有人在笑呀。”其他同學笑聲地嘀咕。

“不，不是我。我沒有做鬼臉。剛才我睡著了。”約翰感到不安。“嗯，還不錯。你承認自己的錯誤，還是給好孩子”老師為此感到滿意。

Story 8

Adding Feet to a Snake

One day, Mr.Lion holds a party.Many animals come and drink a lot of wine.At last there is a pot of wine.Who can drink it? They drink out an idea and decide to have a match-Draw a snake.If you finish first, you can get it.Soon Mr.Wolf finishes drawing.“Yeah, I?ve finished.I?m No.1,” he says.But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet and my snake.” At the time, Mr.Gorilla also finishes.He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isn?t a snake.Snakes have no feet.I get the wine.”

故事8

畫蛇添足

一天，獅子先生舉行一場聚會，許多動物都來了，他們喝很多酒。最后只剩一壺酒了。讓誰喝呢？它們想了想，有個主意。它們比賽畫蛇，誰最快畫好，誰就喝這壺酒。

不一會，狼先生畫好了。“哈，我畫好了，我是第一個。”它說。可是它又畫了起來，它還說：“再給它加幾只腳吧。”這是猩猩先生也畫好了。它拿起那酒壺喝起來。一邊喝一邊說：“那不是蛇，蛇是沒有腳的，我贏了這壺酒。”

Story 9

Covering One?s Ears While Stealing a Bell

Mr.Wang thinks he is clever, but he always does foolish things.One day he sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door.“Oh!How nice!I will take it home.” He thinks, “What can I do?” After a while he has a “good” idea.“Aha!I have an idea now.I can plug my ears.Then I will not hear the ring when I take off the bell.”

Then he does so.But as soon as he takes off the bell, the owner opens the door.“What ate you doing?” the owner says angrily.故事9 掩耳盜鈴

王先生總以為自己很聰明，實際上他總干傻事。

一天，他看見一戶人家的門頭有個很漂亮的鈴鐺。“啊，真漂亮啊！我要把它拿回家去。”他自言自語道：“我該怎么做呢？”過了一會兒他想到了一個“好”主意。“啊哈！我有辦法了！我把耳朵堵上，拿鈴鐺的時候就聽不見鈴聲了。”

于是他就這樣做了。可是他剛拿下鈴鐺，屋子的主人就打開門，怒氣沖沖地說：“你在干什么？”

Story 10

Adding Eyes to a Dragon Mr.Li is a good painter.One day he draws a beautiful dragon without eyes.Mr.Zhou looks at the picture and says, “The dragon has no eyes.It isn?t a good picture.”

But Mr.Li smiles and says, “If I add eyes to the dragon, it will fly away.”

Mr.Zhou shakes head and says, “You are boasting.I don?t believe you.”

Mr.Li isn?t angry.He holds the paintbrush and adds eyes to the dragon.Woe!The dragon really flies.故事 10 畫龍點睛

李先生是位很好的畫家。一天畫了一條栩栩如生的龍，但是這只龍沒有眼睛。

周先生見了說：“這條龍沒有眼睛。這不算一張好畫。”

可是李先生笑著說：“如果我給它加上眼睛，它就會飛走了。”

周先生搖頭說：“你吹牛。我不相信。”

李先生也不生氣，只是拿起筆給龍點上眼睛。哇！龍真的飛走了。

Story 11

Lord Ye?s Love of the Dragon

There is a young man, Lord Ye.He likes dragons vey much.He draws many dragons in his house.The house becomes a world of dragon.A red dragon hears of Lord Ye, and is deeply moved.He wants to visit Lord Ye and makes a friend with him.“Hi, Mr.Ye!Nice to meet you,” the real dragon comes to visit Mr.Ye runs away as fast he can.“Oh, my God!Help!Help!” he runs and shouts.”

故事11

葉公好龍

有個年輕人，姓葉，非常喜歡龍.他在屋里里面了許多許多龍。這屋子都快成了龍的世界。

一龍真龍聽說了葉公的事，很受感動，就想去拜訪葉公，和他交個朋友。

“嘿。葉先生！很高興見到你。”這條真龍拜訪葉先生了。可是葉先生飛快地逃了。忒邊跑邊喊：“啊，我的天啊！救命！救命！”

Story 12

I Made Granny Glad

A teacher is telling her students the importance of making others glad.“Now, children,” she says“Did you make someone else glad?”

“Please, teacher,” says a small boy, “I made someone glad yesterday.” “Well done.Who was that?” The teacher says.“My granny.” The boy says.“Good boy.Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad.” The teacher says.“I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her for three hours.Then I said to her, ?Granny, I?m going home.? And she said, “well.I?m glad!”

故事12 我讓奶奶高興了

一位教師正在對學生將使人高興的重要性。“聽著，孩子們，”他說：“你們曾讓別人高興過嗎？”

“我，老師，”一個男孩子說，“昨天我就使別人高興過。” “做得好。是誰呢？”老師說。“我奶奶。”小男孩說。

“好孩子。現在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的？”老師問道。

“是這樣的，老師。昨天我去看她，在她那兒呆了3個小時。然后我對她說：“奶奶，我要回家了。”她說：“啊，我很高興。”

愛樂奇，游世界，學英語，專為5-12歲兒童設計的英語學習網站，歡迎訪問：http://www.tmdps.cn/alo777 Story 13 Look at the Sky from the Bottom of a Well

There is a frog.He lives in a well and he never goes out of the well.He thinks the sky is as big as the mouth of the well.One day a crow comes to the well.He sees the frog and says, “Frog, let?s have a talk.” Then the frog asks, “Where are you from?” “I fly from the sky,” the crow says.The frog feels surprised and says, “The sky is only as big as the mouth of the well.How do you fly from the sky?”

The crow says, “The sky is very big.You always stay in the well, so you don?t know the world is big.”

The frog says, “I don?t believe.” But the crow says, “You can come out and have a look by yourself.”

So the frog comes out from the well.He is very surprised.How big the world is!

故事13 坐井觀天

有一只青蛙住在井底，他從來沒有去過井外面。他以為天空就和井口一樣大。一天，一只烏鴉飛到井邊，看見青蛙，就對它說：“青蛙，咱們聊聊吧。”青蛙就問他：“你從哪里來？”“我從天上上來。青蛙驚訝了，就說：“天空就只有這井口這么大，你怎么會從天上飛老呢？”

烏鴉說：“天空很大。只不過你一直呆在井里，所有不知道世界很大。”青蛙說：“我不相信。”烏鴉說：“你可以出來，自己看看嘛。” 于是青蛙來到井外。他十分驚訝，原來世界這么大！

Story 14 I can?t Cook It

It?s sunny day in spring.Miss Cat is fishing.Suddenly the fishing rod moves.“Great!Oh, it?s so heavy!” Miss Cat says happily.The fish is plucked out of the river.“Oh, a big fish!How big the fish is!” She cheers.But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.At the time Mr.House goes by and sees it.“What do you set it free?” He asks.“Because my pot is too small.I can?t cook it,” Miss Cat says.故事14 我沒法煮它

這是春天里一個陽光明媚的日子，貓小姐在河邊釣魚。突然魚竿動了動。“太棒了！哇，好重啊！”貓小姐高興地喊著。

魚被拉出來了。“啊！一條大魚！這條大魚可真大呀！”她歡呼道。但是她卻把魚放回河里，又繼續釣魚。

這時候馬先生路過，看見這一切，就問她：“為什么你把魚放了？” “因為我的鍋太小。我沒辦法燒這么大的魚。”貓小姐回答說。

Story 15

That Is Not My Dog!

A woman walks into a pet shop and sees a cute little dog.She asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”

The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bit.”

The woman tries to pet the dog and the dog bites her.“Ouch!” She says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!” The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!”

故事15

那不是我的狗

一個婦人走進一家寵物店，看見一只很可愛的小狗。她問店主：“你的狗咬人嗎？”

店主說：“不，我的狗不咬人。”

于是這個婦人試著撫摸小狗，可是小狗卻咬了她。“哎喲！”婦人說，“我想你剛才還說你的狗不咬人。” 店主人回答說：“那不是我的狗。”

Story

Wrong

Mark?s favorite cup is broken, and he feels unhappy.Susan sees and asks him, “ You look sad.What?s the matter?”

Mark says, “There is something wrong with my cup.”

Susan says, “Don?t worry.I can repair it.”

Mark feels surprised and asks, “Repair? You can repair it? You?”

“Yes.Believe me!Where is it?” Susan answers.“Here.My cup is broken.Are you sure you can repair it?” Mark takes out his cuo.故事16 誤會

馬克最喜歡的杯子了，他很不開心。蘇珊看見了就問他：“你看上去不太開心。怎么了？”

蘇珊說：“別擔心。我會補好它的。”

馬克聽了感到奇怪，就問她：“補？你會補？真的嗎？”

“沒錯。相信我。在哪里呢？”蘇珊說。

“這兒。我的cup破了。你確信補好它嗎？”馬克拿出了杯子。

“cup？ 你以為是cap.”蘇珊說道。說完他倆都笑了。

Story 17

My “Clever” Dog

Bobby is my dog.I love him.He can roll on the floor.He can play balls with me.He can look after my house when I am out.Bobby is very clever.But sometimes he isn?t.One day Bobby runs away.He is out for three days.After he comes back, I tie him to a tree and give him some food.Bobby begins to eat.But then he stops.He sees a fox.The fox is looking at his food.Bobby barks and barks.He wants to catch the fox.But he can?t.The fox runs round the tree.Bobby runs after the fox.So the rope goes ground the tree.Of course Bobby can?t run.The doc can eat the food.Quickly she eats up the food and runs away.故事17

我“聰明“的狗

巴比是我的狗。我很愛他。他會在地板上打滾。他會和我玩球。他能在外出的時候幫我看家。巴比很聰明，可是有些時候他也不聰明。

一天，巴比跑了出去，3天沒回家。他回來后，我把他拴在一棵樹上，給他一些食物。巴比吃著食物，但是又停了下來。他看見一只狐貍。這只狐貍正盯著他的食物。巴比朝狐貍一個勁地叫。他想抓住狐貍。但是他辦不到。狐貍喀什繞著樹跑，巴比就追著它跑。于是繩子就繞在了數上。當然巴比就跑不開了。那只狐貍跑去吃他的食物。很快就吃光了所有食物，而后跑走了。

Story 18 Snow White

Snow White is born on a cold winter day.She is as white as snow.Her eyes are very big, her hair very long and her voice is sweet.She is very kind and beautiful.Everyone loves her.Her mummy, the Queen loves her, too.But she died.A new Queen comes.She is beautiful, but bad.She doesn?t like Snow White, because Snow White is the most beautiful girl in the world.“I will kill Snow White.” So she orders a hunter to kill Snow White.The hunter is an honest man.“You are a good girl;I don?t want to kill you.” So he lets Snow White go.Snow White goes into a forest.She finds a house, and goes into the house.Seven dwarfs live there.They like Snow White, and ask Snow White to live with them.No sooner, the new Queen dies.Because she isn?t the most beautiful woman in the world.故事 18 白雪公主

白雪公主出生在一個寒冷的冬天，因此她像雪一樣潔白無瑕。她又兩只大眼晴，有漂亮的長頭發和甜蜜的聲音。她又善良又美麗。每個人都很喜歡她。她媽媽——皇后也愛她，但她死了。

一位新皇后來了，她很漂亮但很惡毒。她不喜歡白雪公主，因為白雪公主是世界上最美麗的女孩。

“我一定要殺死白雪公主。“因此，她命令一位獵人去殺白雪公主。這位獵人是一個誠實的人。“你是一個好姑娘，我不想殺你。”所有他放走了白雪公主。

白雪公主走進一片森林，她發現了一個房子，并且走進了房子。七個小矮人住在房子里。他們很喜歡白雪公主并留她一起住下來了。

不久，女皇死了，因為她不是世界上最美麗的人。

Story 19

The Clever King Solomon

Long, long ago, there was a king.Solomon was his name.He was very clever.In his country, there were two women.They lived in the same house and each had a child.One night, one of the babies died.The dead baby?s mother took the other woman?s baby, and put it in her own bed.The next morning , they had a quarrel.“No, this is my baby!” The dead is yours!”

Each one wanted the living baby.So they went to see King Solomon.“Bring me a knife, cut the child into two and five each woman one half.” said the King.“Oh.Your Majesty!Give her my baby.Please don?t kill my baby!”

Then King Solomon pointed to the woman in teas and said, “Give the baby to her.She is the mother.”

故事19 聰明的國王所羅門

很久很久之前，有一位國王，他的名字叫所羅門，他非常聰明。

在他的國家里，有兩位婦女，她們住在同一間房子里。各有一個嬰兒。

一天夜里，其中一個嬰兒死了。他的媽媽抱另一位婦女的小孩，把他放在自己的床上。

第二天早上，他們發生了爭吵。

“不，這是我的孩子！這個死的是你的！”

他們都想要這個活著的孩子，于是她們去見所羅門國王。“給我拿把刀來，把這個孩子切成兩半，沒人一半。”國王判決道。“哦，陛下，把我的孩子給她吧。請不要殺了我的孩子！”一位母親哭喊道。于是所羅門指著流淚的婦女說：“把孩子給她，她是真正的母親。”

Story 20

Catching a Thief

Witty Hare can run very fast.One day when he gets home.He sees a rat.The rat is jumping down his window.“Oh.A thief!” Witty Hare shouted and catches the rat, “You can?t run faster then me.” Soon Witty Hare catches up with the rat, and the rat is left behind, “I must run away,? the rat says and laughs, “He is so silly.”

Witty Hare goes on running.A sheep sees him and asks him, “What a re you doing?” “I?m catching the thief.” Witty Hare says.“ Thief? Where?s the thief?” the sheep fells surprised.“He?s behind me ,”Witty Hare says proudly.故事20

追賊

機靈的肚子跑得很快。一天，她回到家的時候看見一只老鼠。這只老師正從它家的窗戶跳下去。“啊！賊！”機靈肚子喊著追過去。“你跑不過我的！” 不一會它追上了老鼠，還把老鼠丟在后面。“我得趕緊逃。”老鼠竊笑著說：“這家伙真笨。”

機靈兔子繼續跑著。一只綿羊看到了就問塔：“你在干什么？”“我在追賊。”機靈兔子說。“賊？賊在哪里啊？”綿羊感到奇怪。“它在我后面呢。”機靈兔子自豪地說著。

Story 21

A Clever Panda

A little panda picks up a pumpkin and wants to take it home.But the pumpkin is too big.The panda can?t take it home.Suddenly she sees a bear riding a bike toward her.She watches the bike.“I know!I have a good idea.” she jumps and shouts happily, “I can roll a pumpkin.It?s like a wheel.”

So she rolls the pumpkin to her home.When her mother sees the big pumpkin, she is surprised, “Oh, my God!How can you carry it home?” the little panda answers proudly, “I can?t lift it, but I can roll it.” Her mother smiled and says，“What a clever girl!Use you heard to do something,”

故事21

聰明的熊貓

一只小熊貓摘了一只大南瓜，想把它拿回家。但是這只南瓜太大了，她沒有辦法把這么大的南瓜帶回家。

突然她看見一只狗熊騎著一輛自行車朝她這邊來。她看著自行車，跳著說：“有了！我有辦法了。我可以把南瓜滾回家去。南瓜好像車輪。

于是她把那瓜滾回家。當她媽媽看到這只大南瓜的時候，很驚訝：“天啊！這么食的南瓜！你是怎么把它帶回家來的？”小熊貓自豪地說；“我拎不動它，可是我能滾動它啊！”她媽媽微笑著說：“真聰明啊！記住：只要你肯動腦筋，沒有難辦的事。”

Story 22

The Ox and the Dog

An ox and a dog serve for the same farmer.One day the dog arrogantly says: “How grand I am!In the daytime, I watch out for the cattle in the meadows;at night, I guard the house.But you…” “Me? How about me ?” the ox says “You can only plough or draw a cart,” the dog slightly says.“Yes.It?s true,” the ox says.“But if I don?t plough, what do you guard?”

故事22 牛和狗

一頭牛和一只狗同時為一個農夫工作。

一天，狗驕傲地說著；?我是多么重要啊！白天我在牧場看護家群，晚上我看家。而你呢…..?”

“我？我怎么啦？“ 牛反問。

“你只會犁地或是拉扯。”狗不懈地說。

“是的。你說得沒有錯，”牛回答道。“但是如果沒有我犁地，你看護什么呢？”

愛樂奇，游世界，學英語，專為5-12歲兒童設計的英語學習網站，歡迎訪問：http://www.tmdps.cn/alo777 Story 23 Go to the Cinema

A lorry driver, David is driving 200 penguins to London Zoo.But his lorry breaks down on the motorway, when another lorry driver, Robert stops in the front of him, David asks for help, and explains that he is taking the penguins to the zoo.Robert says, “Ok.I can help you.”

Some hours later, Robert drivers back and passes David.David is still on the lorry, and look happy.“I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.” David says.Robert replies, “I did, but I had some money left, so I?m going to the cinema now.”

故事23

去電影院

一個叫戴維的貨車司機載著200只企鵝去倫敦動物園。可是他的車在高速公路上壞了。當一輛貨車停在他面前的時候，戴維向司機羅珀特求救，并且解釋自己要送這些企鵝去倫敦動物園。羅珀特說：“行，我幫你。”

幾個小時過后，羅珀特又回來了，并經過戴維生病，戴維還等在高速公路上。那些企鵝也還在車上，特高興的樣子。

“我想我告訴過你吧這些企鵝送進動物園的。”戴維說。羅珀特回答說：“是的，我去了。但是我的錢包丟在電影院了，所有我現在要回那里去。”

Story 24

Wolf Is Coming

There is a naughty boy in a village.He likes telling lies.One day he wants to make fun of the farmers.So he shouts, “Wolf!Wolf!Wolf is coming!” The kind farmers are working in the field.They hear the shout, and hurry to help the boy.But when get there, the boy says: “There isn?t a wolf.I?m joking.The farers are angry and go back to their field.After a while the biy shouts again, “Wolf!Wolf!Wolf is coming!” And the farmers come and are cheated again.The boy laughs and laughs.They say, “You tell lies.We will not believe you.”

Later a wolf really comes.The boy is very scared.“Wolf!Wolf!Wolf is coming!” the boy shouts and shouts.“Help!Help!” But no one comes.And wolf eats the naughty boy.故事24

狼來了

村子里有個淘氣的小男孩，他喜歡撒謊。一天，他想捉弄村名，就大喊：“狼來了！狼來了！” 善良的村民們正在地里干活，聽到喊聲，趕快去救他。俄式他們到了那里，男孩說：“沒有狼。我跟你們開完先的。”村民很生氣，回到田里。不一會，那孩子大喊：狼來了！狼來了！”村民來了，卻再次被欺騙。男孩開心地大笑，村民們說：“你說謊。我們再也不會相信你了。”

后來狼真的來了。男孩十分害怕。“狼來了！狼來了！”他大聲呼喊，“救命啊！救命！”但是沒人來。結果這個淘氣的男孩被狼吃了。

Story 25 Change Name

Tom is 16.he decides to leave home and joins a music company.His father hears that and angry, “Singer? My son? It?s disgrace!” he shouts, “What do they think of the neighbors know?”

“I will change my name,” Tom says.He thinks he will become a singer in the future.“Change your name?” Tom?s father shouts angrily, “What if you?re successful? How will the neighbors know you are my son.?” 故事25

改名字

湯姆16歲了。她決定離家參加一個唱片公司。他父親聽后很生氣：“唱歌？我的兒子啊！真丟臉。”他大喊，“要是鄰居們知道，他們會怎么想？”

“我會改名字的。”湯姆說。他認為自己將來會成為一名歌手。

“改名字？”湯姆的父親生氣地說，“如果你成名了怎么？鄰居們怎么知道你是我的兒子？”

Story 26 Three Little Pigs and a Big Wolf Once, a mother pig sent her three little children into the world.They needed to look after themselves.The first pig found some straw, and he built a fine house with straw, and he built a fine house with straw.The second pig built a house with wood.The third pig built a house with stone.One day, a wolf came to straw house, he was hungry.“Little pig let me in!I?m your brother.” “No, no!You are a wolf.”

Then the wolf blew down the straw house.The first pig ran to the wooden house.Then the wolf came to the wooden house, too.The two pigs ran to the stone house.The wolf came and blew the stone house.He blew and blew, but the house didn?t fall down.Then wolf was angry, he climbed to the roof and jumped down the chimney.The wolf fell into the pot!Ouch!He ran away.The three little pigs lived happily.故事26

從前，豬媽媽把她的三個小孩打發出去，因為他們需要學會照顧自己。第一只小豬找到一些稻草，他蓋了一座漂亮的草房子。第一只小豬蓋了一座木頭房子。第二只小豬了蓋了一座石頭房子。

一天，一只大灰狼來到草房前，他十分饑餓。“小豬，讓我進去，我是我你兄弟。” “不，不，你是大灰狼。”

然后大灰狼就把草屋吹倒了，第一只小豬逃到了木頭屋子里。

然后狼來到木頭前，他吹呀吹可是吹不倒石頭房子。狼發怒了，他爬上了屋頂并從煙囪往下跳。

在煙囪下面的火爐上有一鍋水。三只小豬用大火把得很燙。狼掉進了鍋里！哎呀！他逃走了？ 三只小豬從此過著快樂的生活。

Story 27 The Wolf and the Crane

There is a bad wolf in the forest.One day he is eating a lamb.Suddenly a bone sticks in his throat.“Oh, a bone is my throat.” He goes to see a doctor, “Please help me.” The doctor, Mr.Panda says, “Sorry, I can?t help you.The bone is inside.”

“What can I do?” the wolf is sad.Then he meets a crane.“Oh, dear crane.Please help me.A bone is in my throat.I will pay for your help.”

“Ok.Let me have a try,” the crane says.She pulls out the bone with her bill.“Now I will go.Remember your words.You should pay me,” she says.“Well.Pay you.I remember,” the wolf says.With the words, the wolf bites off the crane?s neck and eats her up.故事27

狼與鶴

森林里有一只很壞的狼。一天，他正在吃一只羊羔.突然一根骨頭卡在他的喉嚨里了。

“哎呀，一根骨頭卡在我的喉嚨里了。”他趕忙去看醫生，“請幫幫我吧。”醫生熊貓先生說：“很抱歉，我幫不了你。骨頭卡在里面。”

“我該怎么辦啊？”狼傷心。后來他遇到一只鶴。“親愛的鶴小姐，請救救我吧，一根頭卡在我的喉嚨里了。我會給你報酬的。”

“好吧。我試試看。”鶴小姐說。她用她的長嘴把骨頭拉了出來。“現在我要走了。記住你的話，你該給我報酬的。”

“好的，給你報酬。”狼突然說，突然咬住鶴的長脖子，把她吃了。

Story 28 A Friend in Need Is a Friend Indeed

Jack and Ben are good friends.One day, they explore a forest together.When they go deep into the forest, suddenly they hear a sound.“What?s that? The sound is so terrible.” Ben says.“Oh!Bear!Look!A bear!” Jack says and climbs quickly on a tall tree.Ben tries to climb on the tree.But he can?t.“What can I do? Help me please!“Ben says to Jack.But Jack does nothing.The bear is coming.Ben lies down quickly and pretends to die.The bear looks at Ben and walking around him.Ben holds his breath.The bear smells Ben and thinks he?s dying, and then the bear goes away.When Jack sees the bear going far, he slides down from the tree and wakes Ben.“What did the Bear whisper to you?” Jack asks Ben.“Why didn?t you help me? Have you not heard the sentence: A friend in need is a friend indeed?” Ben shouted.故事28

患難見真情

杰克和本是一對好朋友。一天，他倆結伴去森林探險。當他們深入森林時，突然聽到一個聲音。

“那是什么？這聲音真恐怖。”本說。

“啊！是熊！快看！熊！”杰克邊說邊迅速爬到身旁的顆大樹上。

本試著爬在樹上，可是他做不到。“我怎么辦啊？快幫幫我？”本朝杰克喊道。可是杰克什么也沒有做。

熊來了。本趕快躺在地上裝死。熊看看本。繞著他走了兒圈。本趕忙屏住呼吸。熊又低下頭聞了本，以為他死了，然后就走開了。

杰克看到熊走遠了，他才滑下樹來，叫醒本。“熊剛才跟你說什么了？“杰克好奇地文本。

“你剛才為什么不幫我？難道你沒有聽對患難見真情這句話嗎？”本大聲喊道。

Story 29

A Clever Hare

Billy hare is hungry and finds a radish.What he picks it up, Mr.Fox is behind him and wants to eat him.“I?m hungry, too.You?ve my dinner.I?m going to eat you,” ha says.Billy Hare is shocked, but he isn?t scared.He says, “Follow me.I have better food for you.” They go to a well.“Look down here,” Billy Hare says “There is something in the water.“What?s that?” Mr.Fox asks surprisingly.“It?s a big and fat hen.Let?s get down and fetch it.” Billy Hare says and gets down with a pail.“Can you out the hen into the pail?” Mr.Fox shouts.“No.She?s too big,” Billy Hare says, “Come down, please.We can take her up together.Jump into the other pail.”

Mr.Fox does so.When he gets down, Billy Hare gets up.“Good-bye!” Billy Hare gets down, Billy Hare gets out of the well and says.Mr.Fox can?t get out.故事29

聰明的野兔

野兔比利很餓，他找到了一只蘿卜。當他撿起蘿卜的時候，狐貍先生正在他的生后，想吃了他。“我也餓了。你是我的晚餐，我要吃了你。”狐貍說。

比利很吃驚，但是他并不害怕。他說：“跟我來，我有更好的食物給你。”

他們來來一口井邊。

“朝這下面看，”比利說，“水里有東西。”“是什么呀？”狐貍先生好奇地問：“那是一只有大又費肥的母親。我們下去把她捉上來。”比利說著，乘一只水桶下去了。

“你能把雞放進桶里里。”狐貍問他：“不行，這只雞太大了，”比利說，“下來吧。我們可以一起把它捉上去。快掉到另一只水桶里吧。”

狐貍照做了。當他下去的時候，比利就上來了。“再見。”比利從井里出來時說。而狐貍卻出不來了。

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Story 30 Father?s Things

When Peter is 17, he is as tall as his father.So he begins to borrow his father?s clothes when he wants to go out with his father?s clothes when he wants to go out with his friends in the evening.Father doesn?t like this.And he always gets very angry when he finds his son wearing any of his things.One evening when Peter is about to go out;his father stops him in the living room.He looks at Peter?s clothes very carefully.Then he says angrily, “Isn?t that one of my ties, Peter?”

“Yes, Father, it is,” answers Peter.“And that shirt is mine, too.”

“Yes, that?s your, too.” answers Peter.“And you?re wearing my belt!”

“Yes, I am, Father,” answers Peter, “You don?t want to your trousers to fall down, do you?”

故事30

父母的東西

皮特17歲的時候，長得和父親一樣高了。于是，當他晚上和朋友一起出去時，就開始借父親的衣服穿。可是這位父親可不喜歡這樣，當他發現他的兒子穿他的衣服時，總是非常生氣。

一天晚上，皮特準備出去，父親在客廳里攔住了他。父親細細打量著皮特的穿著。然后氣呼呼的說著；“皮特，那不是我的領帶嗎？”

皮特回答說：“是的，父親，是您的領帶。” “還有那襯衫也是我的。”

“是的，襯衫也是您的。”皮特回答說。“還有呢，你連皮帶也用我的。”父親說。

“是的，父親，”皮特回答說，“您不愿意讓您的褲子掉下來吧？”

Story 31

The Thirsty Dog

A dog is very thirsty.But he only sees some empty pails.There is no water in them.The dog goes on looking for water.He comes to a small house.There is a girl in it.The girl goes out with a pail.“She goes to a well,” the dog thinks and follows her.The dog is right.The girl comes to a well and puts down the pail, and the pail is full of water, there the girl goes back to her house.“ Water!Great!” the dog says and runs to the well.He jumps into the well without thought.”

The water is good.The dog is happy and drinks much.But he can?t jump out of the well.He waits and waits.But no one comes.“I?m hungry now.I must go out,” he thinks.At the time a thirsty goat comes to the well.He looks at the water and the dog.“Is the water good?” the goat asks.“ Of course.Come down,” the dog says.Then the goat jumps into the well, too.Then dog is happy.He jumps on the goat?s back and jumps out of the well.The dog has a look at the goat and says, “Goodbye!” Then he leaves.故事31 一只口渴的狗

有一只狗口很渴，他只找到一些空空的水桶，里面沒有水。他繼續找水。他來到一座小房子前面。房子里住著一個小姑娘。小姑娘拎著只水桶出來了。“她要去打水。”狗想道，并跟在她后面。果然不錯，小姑娘來到一口井邊，把水桶放入井里，水桶水滿了。然后小姑娘回去了。

“水！太好了！”狗叫著跑過去。他想也沒想就跳下井去了。

井水真的不錯。狗可高興了。喝了許多水，但是他沒有辦法跳出來了。他等了好久，但是沒有人來。“我餓了，我得出去。”他想著。

這時候一只口渴的山羊到井邊來了，他看了看井水和這只狗。“這水好和嗎？”山羊問狗：“當然了。快下來吧。“狗回答說。于是山羊也跳到井里了。狗高興極了。他跳上山羊的背，又跳出了水井。

狗看了一眼山羊說聲：“再見。”就跑開了。

Story 32

A Smart Tortoise

A tiger is hungry, he is looking for food.He sees a frog in front of him.“Ha ha!A frog!My dinner!” so he rushes at the frog.Behind the tiger, there is a tortoise.The little tortoise sees it;he bites the tiger?s tail.“Ouch!” cries the tiger and he looks back.The frog hears the voice and jumps into water.“Thank you, little tortoise.” says the frog.But the tiger is very angry.“Bother it!I?ll throw you to the sky!” “Thank you, I like flying in the sky,” says the tortoise.The tiger stops, “I will throw you into the river.”

“Oh,no!I can?t swim;I will die if you throw me into the water.” The tiger threw the tortoise into the water quickly.“Thank you, Mr.Tiger.Bye-bye.” The tortoise and the frog swim away together.故事32 聰明的烏龜

一只老虎很饑餓，他正在尋找食物。他看到一只青蛙在他前面。“哈哈！一只青蛙，我有晚餐啦！”于是，他補向青蛙。

在老虎的后邊，有一只烏龜。小烏龜看見了，他猛咬一下啊老虎的尾巴。“哎呦！”老虎疼得叫起來并回頭看看。此時青蛙聽見了老虎的聲音，他迅速跳進水里。

“謝謝你，小烏龜。”青蛙說。

大事老虎十分憤怒：“討厭！我要把你扔到天上去。” “謝謝你，我喜歡在天空飛翔。”烏龜說。老虎停下來：“那我就把你扔到到水里。”

“哦，不！我不會游泳，如果你把我扔井水里我會死的。”老虎很快就把烏龜仍進水了。

“謝謝你，老虎先生，再見！”烏龜和青蛙一起游走了。

Story 33 The Rabbit and the Fox

Once there was a naughty rabbit.He likes to play tricks, and it made other animals angry.But it was very different to catch him.One day, a wolf said to a fox, “I have an idea to catch the rabbit.You go back home and get into bed.I?ll go to the rabbit and tell him that you are dead.If he comes to see you, you?ll jump up and catch him.”

“Good idea,” said the fox, “I?ll do that.” Then fox ran home and got into bed.The wolf went to the rabbit?s house and said, “Mr.Rabbit, have you heard Mr.Fox is dead?” The wolf stood at the door, and then he went away.“Really? I haven?t heard anything about it.” The rabbit said to himself, so he decided to go and see if it was true.He went to the fox?s house and looked in through the window.He saw the fox lying in bed.He opened the door and went in.he looked at the fox and said, “Mr.Wolf says Mr.Fox is dead, but he doesn?t look like a dead fox.A dead fox always open his mouth.”

When the fox heard this, he thought, “I?ll show him that I am dead.” So he opened his mouth.The rabbit saw the fox open his mouth, and he knew the fox was not dead.He ran out of the house as fast as he could.故事33

兔子和狐貍

以前有一個淘氣的兔子，他喜歡惡作劇，這使得其他動物很生氣。但是想抓住這是兔子可不容易。

一個，狼對狐貍說：“我想到一個辦法可以抓住這只兔子，你回家睡在床上，我去告訴告訴兔子你死了。如果他來看你，你就跳起來抓住它。”

“好主意，”狐貍說，“我按你說的辦。“于是狐貍跑回家躺在床上。狼跑到兔子家說： “兔子先生死了的事你聽說了嗎？”狼站在門口說，然后就走開了。

“真的嗎？我怎么沒有聽說呢。”兔子自言自語地說。于是他決定去看看是不是真的。她來到狐貍的房前并從窗口往里看，他看見狐貍躺在床上。于是，他打開門并走了進去。他看著狐貍說著；“狼先生說狐貍死了，但他不像一只死狐貍，因為死狐貍是張開嘴巴的。”

當狐貍聽見這話，他想“我要讓他知道我是死的。于是他張開了嘴巴。

兔子看見狐貍張開了嘴巴，他知道狐貍沒有死，于是他飛快從房子里跑了出來。

Story 34

The Wolf and the Dog

There is a wolf.He is very hungry and has no strength to find food.As he lies under a large tree, a dog sees him.The dog sees the wolf is so thin and hungry, and he feels sorry for him and says, “You are so terrible!Are you hungry?”

“Yes,” says the wolf, “I?m hungry because you are guarding the sheep.Now I am so weak that I can?t find food.I think I will do.”

“Why not help me?” Asks the dog, “I work regularly and I eat regularly.You could do the same.You can help me guard the sleep.In that way, I will not worry about your stealing the sleep, and you will not worry about going hungry.It?s good for us.The wolf thinks it over and thinks the dog is right.So they walk to the dog?s house.As they are walking, the wolf sees that only the hair of the dog?s neck is very thin.He is curious about this.So he asks the dog about it.“Oh, don?t worry about that,” says the dog, “It?s the place where the collar ties on the neck.My master chains me up at night,”

“Chained up!” shouts the wolf, “Do you mean that you are chained up at night? If I come to live with you, will I be chained up at night, too?”

“That?s night,” says the dog, “But, you?ll get used to it.”

“But, if I am chained up, I won?t be free.” After saying this, the wolf turns round and runs away.The dog shouts, “Wait!Come back!I?m not free, but I?m healthy.I have good food, and a warm place to sleep.I like enjoying life.In fact, I?m freer than you are.”

故事34

狼和狗

有一只狼，他非常餓，而且餓得沒有力氣去找吃的了。當他躺在一棵大樹下時，一只狗看見了他。看到狼又餓又瘦，狗挺可憐他的：“你看上去真可怕。你很餓啊？“

“是的。”狼說，“我餓是因為你和你的伙伴看守著羊群。現在我弱得沒法去找食物。我想我就快要死了。”

“為什么不幫我呢？”狗說，“我們按時工作，準時吃飯。你也行的。你可以幫我看羊群。那樣我就不用擔心你會來偷羊，你也不用擔心挨餓了。這對我們都有好處。”

狼考慮了一下，覺得狗說的對，他們就一起朝狗的屋子走去了。正走著，狼看見口脖子上的毛很少。他覺得好奇，就問狗怎么回事。

“啊，別擔心，”狗說，“這是系狗項圈的地方，晚上主人會把我拴起來。”

“拴起來？”狼叫起來，“你是說晚上你會拴起來？如果我去和你住，晚上也會被拴起來？”

“沒錯，”狗說，“但是你會習慣的。”

“但是，如果被拴起來，我就不自由了。”說完，狼轉身跑了。

狗大聲喊道：“等等！回來！我是不自由，可是我很健康，我有好的食物，有個溫暖的地方睡覺。你太喜歡享受生活了。我其實比你還自由些。”

Story 35

Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood is a lovely girl.She likes red hats.So her mother calls her little Red Riding Hood.Her grandma loves her very much.But now she is ill.Her mother is busy.So she asks little Riding Hood to see her grandma.In the forest, a wolf sees little Red Riding Hood, “Look, little Riding Hood.I have children for lunch, the path goes to her grandma?s house.”

The wolf comes to grandma?s house and eats grandma.Then he wears grandma?s glasses and clothes, and in her bed.After a while, little Red Riding Hood comes to grandma?s bed.To her surprise, grandma?s mouth is very big.So she asks: “Grandma, why is your mouth so big?” “I eat little girls with this mouth.” And he rushed at little Red Riding Hood.“Help!Help!” The wolf runs after little Red Riding Hood.At this time, a hunter passes through the house.He shoots the wolf and saves little Red Riding Hood.Then he cuts the wolf and grandma comes out.故事35

小紅帽

小紅帽是一個可愛的女孩。她喜歡紅帽子，于是她媽媽就叫她小紅帽。

她的祖母很愛小紅帽，但現在她生病了。小紅帽的媽媽非常忙，所有她讓小紅帽去看望祖母。在森林里，一只狼看見了小紅帽。“瞧啊！小紅帽。午餐有小孩子可以吃啦！這是一條去她祖母家的路。”

狼來到了祖母家并吃掉了祖母。然后他戴上祖母的眼鏡，并穿上祖母的衣服并睡在祖母的床上。過了一段時間，小紅帽來到了祖母的床前，使她吃驚的是祖母的嘴巴非常大。于是她問：“祖母，為什么你的嘴巴這么大？”“用它來吃小女孩。”狼說這就撲向小紅帽。

“救命，救命！狼追著小紅帽。正在此時，一個獵人路過這兒，他用槍打死了狼并救出小紅帽；然后他剝開狼的兔子，救出祖母。”

Story 36

A Little Ant

Once there was a little ant.She wanted to get married, but she only wanted to marry the strongest creature.She wanted to marry the strongest creature, but she didn?t know who the strongest creature is.She saw the wind blow houses down.So she thought the wind was the strongest creature.She wanted to marry the wind.But the wind told the little ant that ht wasn?t the strongest creature.There was a tower in the forest.He had stood there for a thousand years against his force.The tower was the strongest creature.“Why do you want to marry me?” the wind asked.“Because you are the strongest creature in the world.You are strongest than the wind.” said the ant.“You are right.I?m strongest than the wind.But I?m not the strongest creature in the world.Look, how I?m damaged!Can?t you guess who has done this to me? It?s you, ants.”

At last, the little ant married her own kind.Because they were the strongest creatures.故事36

一只螞蟻

從前，有一個小螞蟻想結婚，但她只想嫁給世界上最強打者。

她想嫁給強大者，但她不知道誰才是最強大者。她看到風把房子吹倒了，于是她認為風是最強大的，她要嫁給風。

可風告訴小螞蟻，他不是最強大者，林中有一座它塔。他頂住風力聳立了一千年，他才是最強大的。

“為什么你要嫁給我？”塔說。

“因為你是最強大的，你甚至比風還強大。”螞蟻說。

“你說的對，我是比風強大。但我不是最強大的。瞧，我已被損壞成什么樣子了。難道你猜不出來是誰把我損壞成這個樣子的嗎？是你們螞蟻啊。”塔說。最后，小螞蟻嫁給了她的同類，因為他們才是最強大者。

愛樂奇，游世界，學英語，專為5-12歲兒童設計的英語學習網站，歡迎訪問：http://www.tmdps.cn/alo777 Story 37

Poor George

George is a little monkey.He lives in a deep forest.He likes jumping and climbing trees.He is happy every day.But he has a shortcoming.He is curious.One day an old man goes by the forest.He carries a lot of straw hats.George sees the man, and the man sees George, too.The man says to himself, “What a lovely monkey!I will catch him.I will take him home.”

The man sits down and thinks over.George sees and also sits down.The man has an idea.He puts a hat on his head, and puts other hats on the ground.Then he pretends to sleep.George is curious and looks at the hats.“I will be nice if I put a hat on my head.” George thinks.Then he climbs down from the tree, picks up a hat and puts it on.The hat is too big, and covers George?s eyes.George can?t see.And the man gets up at once, rushes out and catches him quickly.Poor George!

故事37

可憐的喬治

喬治是一只小猴子。他住在大森林里。他喜歡在樹上跳來跳去，爬上爬下。他整天都樂呵呵的。但是他有個毛病，就是太好奇。

一天，一個老人路過大森林，他帶著許多草帽。喬治看見了這個老人，老人也看見他了。；老人自言自語道：“多可愛的猴子啊！我要捉住他，把他帶回家去。”

老人坐下來。想著辦法。喬治看見了，也坐下來。

不一會老人有個辦法，他戴上一頂帽子，又把其他帽子放在地上，然后假裝睡覺。

喬治很好奇，看看帽子，心想：“要是我戴上一頂，肯定好看。”于是爬下樹，撿起一頂帽子戴在頭上。可是帽子太大了，遮住了他的眼睛了。那個老人一下站起來，沖過去，迅速地捉住喬治。

可憐的喬治啊！

Story 38 The Ant and the Dove An ant is walking by the river.He looks at the river and says to himself, “How nice and cool this water looks!I must drink some of it.” But when he is drinking, he slips into the river.“Oh.Help!Help!” The ant cries，A dove is sitting in the tree.She hears him and throws him a leaf, “Climb up that leaf,” she says “and you will float bank.”

The ant climbs uo onto the leaf, and the wind blows the leaf to the bank.And the ant is saved.“Thank you, Dove.You?re so kind,” The ant says and runs home, “You have saved my life, and I wish I could do something for you, Goodbye!”

“Goodbye!” says the dove, “Be careful.Not to fall into the river again.”

After a few days, the dove is building her nest.And a man is raising his gun to shoot her.The ant sees this, and runs quickly to bite the man?s leg.“Ouch!Ouch!” The man feels pained and drops his gun.The dove hears and flies away.So the man picks up his gun and leave.The dove comes to her nest.“Thank you, my little friend,” she says, “You have saved my life.”

The little ant is so glad, because he can help the dove.故事38

螞蟻和鴿子

一只螞蟻在河邊散步。他看見喝水自言自語道：“這河水看上去真清涼啊！我要去喝點。”可是他在喝水的時候，一不小心滑進河里了。

“啊！救命！救命！?螞蟻叫喊著。

一只鴿子正呆在樹上，聽見呼救聲，就扔給他一片樹葉。“快爬到樹葉上去。她說：“你會漂到岸上的。”

“謝謝你，鴿子。你真善良。”螞蟻一邊說一邊向家跑，“你就了我的命，我會奧達你的。再見！”

“再見！小心別掉進河里了。”鴿子說。

幾天后，鴿子正在筑巢，一個人舉著槍要打鴿子。螞蟻看見了，迅速地跑過去，在那個人的腿上咬了一口。“啊呀！哎呀！”那個人疼得扔掉槍。鴿子聽見了，連忙飛走了。那個人只好撿起槍，走了。

鴿子又飛回巢里。“謝謝你，我的小朋友。”鴿子說，“你就了我的命。” 小螞蟻可高興了，因為他也幫助了鴿子。

Story 39

The Fisherman and His Wife

Once, there was a fisherman.He had an ugly wife.They were poor.One day, the fisherman caught a goldfish.But the goldfish could talk, “Please let me go!I?ll reward you.”

“Ok, my God?” cried the fisherman, “Don?t worry.I have no wish to eat a talking fish.” So he puts it into the water.The fisherman went home and told his wife about it.She became very angry.“How foolish you are!” she said, “Look at the hut.Go back to the sea and tell the fish to give me a cottage.”

So the fisherman went down to the beach.“What?s the matter?” asked the fish.“My wife wants to cottage.” said the fisherman.“Don?t worry, she will have it.” So the fisherman?s wife had her cottage.But after a few days, she became tired of it.“Tell the fish to give me a palace.” she said.Then the fisherman went back to the beach again.And the fisherman?s wife had her palace.But she soon got tried of it, too.“Ask the fish to be my servant, and I want to be a queen.”

This time, the fish got angry.It said nothing and swam away.The fisherman waited and waited, but the goldfish didn?t come back.When he went home, he found his wife back in their old hut.故事39

漁夫和他的妻子

從前，有一位漁夫，他又一個很丑的妻子。他們家里很窮。

一天，漁夫捕到一條金魚。但這條金魚會說話：“請放我走吧！我會報答你的.” “啊，我的天啊！” 漁夫吃驚地叫道，“別擔心，我不會吃一條會說話的魚的。”于是他把金魚放進了水里。

漁夫回家并把這件事告訴了他的妻子。妻子非常憤怒。

“你多愚蠢啊！”她說：“看看這個破草屋，到海邊去，向金魚要一間小木屋。” 于是漁夫來到海邊。“怎么啦？”金魚問。

“我的妻子想要一件小木屋。”漁夫說。“別擔心，她會有的。”

漁夫的妻子得到了一間小木屋。

但過了幾天，她對此感到厭倦了：“告訴金魚，讓它給我一座宮殿。”漁夫又返回海邊。他的妻子得到了一座宮殿。

但她很快又對此感到厭倦：“去叫金魚做我的仆人，我想當女王。” 這次，金魚變得憤怒了，它一句話也沒說就游走了。

漁夫等呀等，但金魚沒有回來。當他回家時，他看見他妻子又回到就茅屋。

Story 40

It?s Unfair

Linda was a good girl, but she was often late for school.One day, she was late again.When she came in, Mr.Clark, her teacher said angrily, “I?ll tell you father if you are late again.” Linda didn?t want him to do that.Because her father was very strict with her.The next morning, Linda got up early.She hurried to school.At the school gate, she heard the first bell, “What shall I do?” she asked herself, “I?ll turn it in first.” She decided.And so she did.When she hurried into her classroom, Mr.Clack was already beginning his class.“Linda!Didn?t I tell you to be here on time?” Mr.Clack said as he as her.“I?m sorry, sir,” Linda tried to explain, “I?m late because I had to…?”

“I don?t listen to any excuse,” Mr.Clack stopped her.“If you can?t get here on time, I have to tell your father.”

“But Mr.Clack.It?s …it?s unfair!”

“Unfair!How dare you say that?” Mr.Clack said angrily, “I?ll report you to the headmaster.“I was only trying to do a good idea,” Linda thought,“and now…” She couldn?t keep back her tears.When the bell rang for the break, the door opened and Mr.White, the headmaster came in.he was holding a wallet in his hand, “Excuse me, Mr.Clack.Is this your wallet?”

“Oh,yes.It?s my wallet.Who found it? I must thank him.”

“Linda found it and turned it in before school started.” Mr.Whitesaid.Mr.Clack face slowly turned red.He looked at Linda and said, “I?m very sorry.Linda.I take back what I said.”

“And I?m sorry.Mr.Clack.I?ll try not to be late again.” Linda said.故事40 這是不公平

琳達是一個好女孩，但她經常遲到。

一天，琳達又遲到了。當她進來的時，她的老師克拉克先生生氣說：“如果你在遲到，我就通知你爸爸。”琳達不想他那么做，因為她爸爸對她要求很嚴格。

二天，琳達起床很早。她匆匆向學校走去，在學校大門口，她停下來了。因為地上有一個錢夾。當她站在那兒是，她聽見了第一遍鈴聲，“我該怎么辦呢？”她自言自語，“我要先把它交上去。”她下定決定，于是她就是這么做了。

當她匆匆走進教室的時候，克拉克先生已經開始講課了。“琳達，我沒有告訴你早點來嗎？”克拉克先生一看到琳達就說，“對不起，先生。”琳達想解釋，“我遲到是因為我不得不……”

“我不想聽任何借口，“克拉克阻止道, “如果你不能準時到這兒，我不得不告訴你父親。”

“但是，克拉克先生，這是…..這是不公平的！”

“不公平！你怎么敢那么說！”克拉克先生憤怒的說，“我要把你的事情匯報給校長！”

“我只想做一件好事，”琳達心想，“但是現在……”她的眼淚阻止不住流下來。當下課鈴聲響起是，教室的門開了，校長懷特先生走了進來。他的手里拿著一個錢夾：“打擾一下，克拉克先生，這是你的錢夾嗎？” “哦，是我的。是誰找到的？我一定的謝謝她。” “琳達發現的，并在上課前把它交來了。”懷特先生說。

克拉克先生的臉漸漸紅了，他看了看琳達，慚愧地說：“對不起，琳達，我收回我說過的話。”

“我也不對，克拉克先生，我下次盡量不再遲到了。”琳達說。

愛樂奇，游世界，學英語，專為5-12歲兒童設計的英語學習網站，歡迎訪問：http://www.tmdps.cn/alo777

第二篇：英語經典幽默故事

英語經典幽默故事

故事一

Best Reward

A naval officer fell overboard.He was rescued by a deck hand.The officer asked how he could reward him.“The best way, sir, ”said the deck hand, “is to say nothing about it.If the other fellows knew I’d pulled you out, they’d chuck me in.”

最好的獎賞

一名海軍軍官從甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。這位軍官問如何能酬謝他。“最好的辦法，長官，”這名水手說，“是別聲張這事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會把我扔下去的。”

故事二

I Taught the Teacher

Mother asked her little boy,”Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?” “Nothing, Mum.” Answered the son proudly, “instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.”

我教老師

母親問她年幼的兒子：“寶貝，今天老師教了你些什么？”兒子驕傲地說：“什么都沒教，媽媽。她反倒問我一加二等于幾，我告訴她等于三。”

故事三

How Did You Ever Get Here

One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late.“It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two.”

The boss eyed him suspiciously.”Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?”

“I finally gave up,” he said, “and started for home.”

你是怎么來的？

一個冬天的早晨，一名雇員解釋他為什么遲到了四十五分鐘才來上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前邁一步，就要向后退兩步。”

老板狐疑地看著他。“噢，是嗎？那你是怎么到這兒來的？”

“后來我決定放棄，”他說，“然后我就往家里走。”

索創在線英語http:///

第三篇：英語幽默故事

外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

1、That man knows the future

Nasreddin was cutting a branch of a tree in his garden.While he was sawing, another man passed in the street.He stopped and said, 'Excuse me, but if you continue to saw that branch like that, you will fall down with it.' He said this because Nasreddin was sitting on the branch and cutting it at a place between himself and the trunk of the tree.Nasreddin said nothing.He thought, 'This is some foolish person who has no work to do and goes about telling other people what to do and what not to do.' The man continued on his way.Of course, after a few minutes, the branch fell and Nasreddin fell with it.'My God!' he cried.'That man knows the future!' and he ran after him to ask how long he was going to live.But the man had gone.2、You'll soon get used to it?

An old man died and left his son a lot of money.But the son was a foolish young man, and he quickly spent all the money, so that soon he had nothing left.Of course, when that happened, all his friends left him.When he was quite poor and alone, he went to see Nasreddin, who was a kind, clever old man and often helped people when they had troubles.'My money has finished and my friends have gone,' said the young man.'What will happen to me now?' 'Don't worry, young man,' answered Nasreddn.'Everything will soon be all right again.Wait, and you will soon feel much happier.' The young man was very glad.'Am I going to get rich again then?' he asked Nasreddin.'No, I didn't mean that,' said the old man.'I meant that you would soon get used to being poor and to having no friends.'

Nasreddin put two big baskets of grapes on his donkey and went to market.At midday it was very hot, so he stopped in the shade of a big tree.There were several other men there, and all of them had donkeys and baskets of grapes too.After their lunch they went to sleep.After some time, Nasreddin began to take grapes out of the other men's baskets and to put them in his.Suddenly one of the men woke up and saw him.'What are you doing?' he said angrily.'Oh,' said Nasreddin, don't worry about me.I am half mad, and I do a lot of strange things.'

'Oh, really?' said the other man.'Then why don't you sometimes take grapes out of your baskets and put them in somebody else's baskets?'

'You did not understand me,' said Nasreddin.I said，that I was half mad, not quite mad.' 外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

納斯瑞丁將兩大筐葡萄放在他的毛驢背上，趕著驢向市場去。中午時，天氣很炎熱，他在一顆大樹的樹蔭下停了下來。那里還有幾個人，他們都帶著毛驢并馱著一筐筐葡萄。吃完中飯后，這些人就睡覺了。過了一會兒，納斯瑞丁就開始從別人筐里拿葡萄往自己筐里放。

突然，一個人醒來并看見了他在干這件事。“你在干什么？”他憤怒地說。

“哦，”納斯瑞丁說：“不要為我擔心，我是個半瘋子，而且常常做一些奇怪的事。”

“啊，是嗎？”另一個人說：“那么你為什么不有時從你的筐中拿葡萄往別人筐里放呢？”

“你還沒明白我的話，”納斯瑞丁說：“我說我只是個半瘋，并不是全瘋。”

There was a big garden near Nasreddin's house, and it had a lot of fruit trees in it.One day Nasreddin saw some beautiful apples on one of them.He went home and got a ladder, put it against the high wall of the garden and climbed up.Then he pulled the ladder up, put it down on the other side, and climbed down into the garden.Just then a gardener came round a corner and saw him.'What are you doing here?' he shouted.Nasreddin thought quickly and then said, 11 am selling my ladder.'

'Selling your ladder? In somebody else's garden? Do you think I believe such a stupid story?' said the gardener and came towards Nasreddin with a stick.'It is my ladder,' said Nasreddin, 'and I can sell it where I like.You needn't buy it if you don't want to.' And he took his ladder and climbed over the wall again.靠近納斯瑞丁的家有一座大花園，花園中有很多果樹。一天，納斯瑞丁看見一顆果樹上有些蘋果長得很好。他就回家去拿了一個梯子，把梯子靠在花園的高墻上后就爬了上去。然后拿起梯子，把它放在墻那邊，下了梯子就進了花園。正好這時，花園的園丁從墻角轉過來看見了他。外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

“你在這里干些什么？”花園的園丁叫喊道。

納斯瑞丁很快想了想，然后說道：“我正在賣我的梯子呢。”

“賣你的梯子？在別人的花園里賣梯子？你認為我會相信這種蠢話嗎？”說著，花園的園丁拿著根棍子向納斯瑞丁走來。

“這是我的梯子，”納斯瑞丁說：“我想在哪里賣就在哪里賣。如果你不想要就不買好了。”接著，他拿著梯子又爬過了圍墻。

Nasreddin woke up in the middle of the night and saw something white in his garden.It seemed to be moving towards the house.'That is a thief!, he thought, and he took his gun and shot at him.Then he went back to bed, because he was too frightened to go out of the house in the dark.The next morning Nasreddin went out and saw one of his white shirts hanging' on the clothes-line in the garden.His wife had washed it the day before and hung it out to dry.Now it had a bullet-hole right through the middle of it.'My God,' said Nasreddin, 11 was lucky last night.If I had been wearing that shirt, the bullet would have killed me!' And he called his neighbours together and asked them to thank God for saving him.納斯瑞丁半夜醒來，看見一個白色的東西在他花園里。看起來好像在向屋子這邊移動著。

“是賊！”納斯瑞丁想，接著他拿出槍向賊射擊。然后，他又上床睡覺了，因為他害怕，所以不敢在黑暗中走出屋子。

第二天早晨，納斯瑞丁出來看見他的一件白襯衣掛在花園里的曬衣繩上。是他的妻子前一天將襯衣洗好后掛在外面晾干的。現在在它中間有一個子彈孔正好穿過。

“我的天，”納斯瑞丁說：“昨夜我真是走運，要是我穿上這件襯衣，子彈就把我打死了！”接著他就把鄰居們召集在一起，并要他們一塊兒感謝上帝救了他的命。外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

When Nasreddin was a boy, he never did what he was told, so his father always told him to do the opposite of what he wanted him to do.One day, when the two were bringing sacks of flour home on their donkeys, they had to cross a shallow river.When they were in the middle of it, one of the sacks on Nasreddin's donkey began to slip, so his father said, 'That sack is nearly in the water!Press down hard on it!'

His father of course expected that he would do the opposite, but this time Nasreddin did what his father had told him to do.He pressed down on the sack and it went under the water.Of course, the flour was lost.'What have you done, Nasreddin?' his father shouted angrily.'Well, Father', said Nasreddin, ,this time I thought that I would do just what you told me, to show you how stupid your orders always are.'

當納斯瑞丁還是個孩子的時候，他從不照著別人說的去做，所以他爸爸想讓他做什么時，總是反著說。

一天，他們倆用毛驢馱著幾袋面粉回家時，他們路過必經的一條淺水河。當他們走到河中間時，納斯瑞丁趕的驢子馱的一個口袋開始滑動，所以他爸爸說：“那個口袋快要滑到水里了！使勁將它向下壓！”

納斯瑞丁的爸爸當然預料他會反著做，但是這一次納斯瑞丁卻照著他爸爸說的做了。他向下壓口袋，口袋掉到了水里。當然，面粉也就完了。

“你干了些什么，納斯瑞丁？”他爸爸生氣地叫了起來。

“哦，爸爸，”納斯瑞丁說：“這一次我想我偏要照你說的做，讓你看看你的指揮一向是多么愚蠢。”

Nasreddin had lost his donkey.He was going about looking for it everywhere, and while he was looking, he was singing gaily.One of his neighbours saw him and said, 'Hullo, Nasreddin.What are you doing?' 外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

'I am looking for my donkey,' answered Nasreddin.'Don't you know where it is?' asked the neighbour.'No, I don't.'

'Then why are you singing so gaily? Usually when somebody loses something, he is sad.'

'Yes, that is quite true,' answered Nasreddin.'But you see, I am not yet sure that my donkey is lost.My last hope is that it is behind that hill over there.If you wait a little, you will hear how I will cry and complain if it is not there!'

納斯瑞丁的毛驢丟了。他四處尋找，并且一邊找一邊高興地唱著歌。

一個鄰居看見他這副樣子，就問：“喂，納斯瑞丁，你在干嘛？”

“我正在找我的毛驢呢，”納斯瑞丁回答。

“你不知道驢子在哪兒嗎？”鄰居問道。

“我不知道。”

“那么，你為什么還這么高興地唱著歌呢？通常人們丟失了東西時總是很悲傷的。”

“是的，你說的很對，”納斯瑞丁回答說：“但是你要知道，我并沒有認為我的驢子確實已經丟了。我的最后一個希望是驢就在那邊的那座山后面。如果驢不在那里的話，等一會兒，你就會聽到我是怎樣的哭喊和抱怨了。”

One winter Nasreddin had very little money.His crops had been very bad that year, and he had to live very cheaply.He gave his donkey less food, and when after two days the donkey looked just the same, he said to himself, 'The donkey was used to eating a lot.Now he is quickly getting used to eating less;and soon he will got used to living on almost nothing.'

Each day Nasreddin gave.the donkey a little less food, until it was hardly eating anything.外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

Then one day, when the donkey was going to market with a load of wood on its back, it suddenly died.'How unlucky I am,' said Nasreddin.'Just when my donkey had got used to eating hardly anything, it came to the end of its days in this world.' 1.What was the matter with Nasreddin one winter?

2.Why had this happened?

3.What did he have to do?

4.What did he do to his donkey?

5.What happened after two days?

6.What did Nasreddin then say to himself?

7.What did he do each day after that?

8.What was the donkey doing in the end?

9.What happened to the donkey?

10.When did it happen?

11.What did Nasreddin say?

一年冬天，納斯瑞丁身上只有很少一點錢了。這年他的莊稼長得很不好，他只得十分節省地過日子。他給驢子喂的食料比過去少了。兩天以后，驢子看起來和往日一樣，納斯瑞丁就自言自語地說：“這頭驢過去習慣于吃得很多，現在它很快就適應吃得比過去少了；很快它就會適應幾乎什么都不吃了。”

以后，納斯瑞丁每天一點一點地減少喂驢的食料，直到這驢幾乎什么都不吃。

后來有一天，當這驢子馱著一馱木頭趕集去的時候，它突然死了。“我真是太倒霉了，”納斯瑞丁說：“就在我的驢子剛剛適應幾乎什么都不用吃時，它在這世上卻又活到頭了。

Nasreddin's wife was very ill, and at last she died.After a few months, Nasreddin married again.His new wife was a widow.Exactly seven days after he married her, she had a baby.外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

Nasreddin at once hurried away to the market and bought some paper, some pencils, some pens and some children's books.Then he hurried back home again with these things and put them beside the baby.His now wife was surprised.'What are you doing?' she said.'The baby won't be able to use.those things for a long time Why are you in such a hurry?'

Nasreddin answered, 'You are quite wrong, my dear.Our baby is not an ordinary baby.It came in seven days instead of nine months, so it will certainly be ready to learn to read and write in a few weeks from now.' 1.What happened to Nasreddin's first wife?

2.What did Nasreddin do?

3.When did he do this?

4.What was his new wife?

5.What happened to his new wife then?

6.When did it happen?

7.What did Nasreddin do at once?

8.What did he buy?

9.What did he do with these things?

10.How did his wife feel?

11.What did she say to Nasreddin?

12.What did he answer?

納斯瑞丁的妻子得了重病，最后死去了。幾個月以后，納斯瑞丁又結了婚。他的新妻子原先是一個寡婦。

正好在他們結婚七天以后，她生下一個孩子。

納斯瑞丁馬上趕到市場買了一些紙、鉛筆、鋼筆和一些兒童圖書。然后，他帶著這些東西匆匆地回家，并把這些東西放在嬰兒的旁邊。他的新婚妻子很吃驚。“你這是在干嘛？”她說：“這孩子用這些東西還早著呢，你忙什么？” 外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

納斯瑞丁回答說：“你說的可太不對了，親愛的。我們的孩子是個不同尋常的孩子。他用七天而不是九個月來到世上，所以從現在起幾星期以后，他一定會愿意學習識字和寫字了。”

Some of Nasreddin's old friends were talking about the young people in their town.They all agreed that old people were wiser than young people.Then one of the old men said, 'But young men are stronger than old men.'

All of them agreed that this was true, except Nasreddin.He said, 'No.I am as strong now as when I was a young man.'

'What do you mean?' said his friends.'How is that possible? Explain yourself!'

'Well,' said Nasreddin, 'in one corner of my field there is a rock.When I was a young man I used to try to move it, but I couldn't because I was not strong enough.I am an old man now, and when I try to move it, I still cannot.' 1.Who were talking at the beginning of this story?

2.What were they talking about?

3.What did they all agree?

4.What did one of the old men say then?

5.What did the others do?

6.Who did not agree?

7.What did he say?

8.What did his friends say then?

9.What did Nasreddin answer?

10.Why did he think that he was as strong as when he was a young man?

11.What mistake was he making when he thought this? 外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

納斯瑞丁和一些老朋友正在談論著他們鎮上的年青人。他們一致認為老年人比年青人更有智慧。后來有位老人說：“不過年青人要比老年人力氣大。”

他們都承認這是事實，但納斯瑞丁除外。他說：“不，我現在的力氣和我年青時一樣大。”

“這話是什么意思呢？”他的朋友們說：“這可能嗎？你解釋一下！”

“哦，”納斯瑞丁說：“我田里的一個角落里有一塊石頭。我年青時常常使勁把它挪走，但是我挪不動它，因為我只有那點力氣。現在我老了，當我使勁把它挪走時，我還是挪不動它。”

When Nasreddin's first wife died, he married again.His second wife was much younger than he was and they often quarrelled.One evening when Nasreddin came home very late, his wife said to him, 'I cooked your dinner two hours ago.It is quite spoiled now.' She was so angry that she gave him a push, and as she was strong, and he was old and weak, he fell down the stairs.One of Nasreddin's neighbours, who was always eager to know what was happening in everybody else's house, was listening, and when she heard the noise that Nasreddin made when he fell down the stairs, she came to his front door and knocked.'What has happened?' she said.'My coat fell down the stairs,' he answered.'But a coat would not make so much noise!' the neighbour said.'Of course it would,' answered Nasreddin, 'if I was inside it!' 1.What happened when Nasreddin's first wife died?

2.What was his second wife like?

3.What did he and his second wife often do?

4.What did Nasreddin do one night?

5.What did his wife say?

6.How did she feel? 外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

7.What did she do?

8.What happened then?

9.Why was she able to push him over?

10.Who was listening?

11.Why was she listening?

12.What did she do?

13.When did she do this?

14.What did she say?

15.What did Nasreddin answer?

16.What did the woman say then?

17.What was Nasreddin's answer?

納斯瑞丁的第一個妻子死后，他又娶了一個。他的第二個妻子比他年輕得多，他們常常爭吵。一天傍晚，納斯瑞丁回家很遲，他妻子就對他說：“兩小時前我就給你做好了晚餐，現在都放壞了。”她很生氣，所以推了納斯瑞丁一下。她很強壯，而納斯瑞丁卻又老又弱，所以他就從樓梯上摔了下來。

納斯瑞丁有一位鄰居，她總是熱衷于打聽別人家里發生的事，這時她正聽著。當她聽到納斯瑞丁從樓梯摔下的聲音后，她就來納斯瑞丁的前門敲門。

“出了什么事了？”她說。

“我的衣服從樓梯上掉下去了。”他回答。

“一件衣服會發出這么大的聲音嗎！”這位鄰居說。

“當然會，”納斯瑞丁回答說：“如果我在衣服里面的話！”

One of Nasreddin's rich neighbours gave a big party one evening, but he forgot to invite him.Nasreddin waited and waited, but no invitation came, so at last, when the party had already begun, he 外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

took a piece of paper, folded it, put it in an envelope and took it to his neighbour's house.'I have a very important letter for the host,' he said to the servants at the door.The servants took him into the big room where everybody was eating, Nasreddin gave the letter to his rich neighbour and at once sat down and began to fill his mouth with food.The host looked at the envelope, but there was nothing on it, so he said, 'Are you sure that this letter is for me? There is no address on it.'

'Oh, yes,' said Nasreddin, 'and there is no writing inside it either because it was prepared in a hurry.' 1.What happened one evening?

2.What did the man forget to do?

3.What did Nasreddin do at first?

4.What did he do then?

5.What did he say?

6.Whom did he say this to?

7.What did the servants do?

8.What was everybody doing?

9.What did Nasreddin do?

10.What did he do then?

11.What did the host do?

12.What was there on the envelope?

13.What did the host say to Nasreddin?

14.What did Nasreddin answer?

一天傍晚，納斯瑞丁的一位富有的鄰居舉行了一個盛大的晚會，但他忘記邀請納斯瑞丁了。納斯瑞丁等了又等，但仍然沒有人來請他，最后，外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

當宴會早已開始后，他拿出一張紙，疊好后裝在信封里，帶著它到鄰居家里去了。

“我有一封很重要的信要給主人，”他對門口的侍者們說。侍者們領他到大廳里，大家正吃著，納斯瑞丁將信交給他這位富有的鄰居，然后馬上坐下，將食品塞滿嘴里。

主人看著信封，可是上面一個字也沒有，于是他問：“你肯定這封信是給我的嗎？上面連地址都沒有。”

“噢，是的，”納斯瑞丁說：“并且信里也什么都沒有寫，因為信是在匆忙中準備的。”

A rich man and his wife went into a shop to buy a bracelet.Neither of them was very young.They looked at a lot of beautiful bracelets, and after half an hour there were two which they liked very much, but they had not yet been able to choose between them.One of them was very expensive, and the other was quite a lot cheaper.Of course, the shopkeeper wanted to sell them the more expensive one, because then he would get more money from them, so he said to the lady, 'Oh, go on.Spend his money.If you don't, he will only spend it on his second wife.'

For several seconds nobody said a word, and then lady said angrily, 'I am his second wife!' 1.Who went into the shop in this story?

2.Why did they go in there?

3.What happened after half an hour?

4.What were the two bracelets like?

5.What did the shopkeeper want?

6.How old were they?

7.What did they do in the shop?

8.Why did he want this? 外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

9.What did he say to the lady?

10.Did she answer at once?

11.What did she say?

12.How did she feel?

一位富翁和他的太太到商店里去買手鐲。他們倆都不年輕了。他們看了很多漂亮的手鐲，隔了半小時，他們選中了兩只最喜歡的，但他們卻難以在二者之間再作出選擇。二者之中有一只很昂貴，另一只卻便宜得多。

店主當然想把貴的一只賣給他們，因為這樣他就可以賺他們更多的錢，于是他就對那位太太說：“好吧，買這只吧，花掉他的錢。如果你不花，他就會把錢都花在他的第二位太太身上。”

好幾分鐘過去了，誰都沒有開口，終于那位太太憤怒地開口說：“我就是他的第二位太太！”

Mrs.Evans went to a large local cinema one summer afternoon.Half-way through the wonderful film there was the usual interval, so that people could buy sweets, chocolates and ice-cream.Mrs.Evans rarely bought anything in the cinema, but this time she was feeling hot, so she thought, 'I'll have an ice-cream to cool me.I certainly need it.' Quite a lot of the audience were waiting to buy ice-creams from the girl who was selling them, so Mrs.Evans waited for her turn.There was a small boy in front of her.When it was his turn, he offered the girl ten pence and asked for an ice-cream, but they cost twenty pence, so the girl said, 'I want another ten pence, please.'

The small boy put the coin back in his pocket, put his hand in another pocket, took out another ten pence coin and offered that to the girl.Mrs.Evans was so amused that she paid the other ten pence herself.A.Answer these questions.外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

1.Why did Mrs.Evans decide to have an ice-cream ii the cinema?

2.Why did :she have to wait before she could buy it?

3.Why did the girl ask the small bay for more money?

4.What did the boy do then?

5.Why did Mrs.Evans help him?

B.Which words in the story mean:

1.big

2.make less hot

3.not at all frequently

4.people in a theatre or cinema

5.should be able to

C.Write this story.Put one word in each empty space.You will find all the correct words in the story.A man was boasting to a stranger about the beer in his town.'Why is it so...?' the stranger asked.'Is it stronger than the...beer?'

'It...is!' said the...man.'I've...found a stronger one.A friend of mine was at a cinema, and...through the film, during the..., he went to the bar and had a few glasses of it to...himself, because he felt hot.Then he went into the cinema again.'

'Well, and what's so wonderful about that?, asked the stranger, putting a...down as a tip for the barman.'When he went in again, he found that there was a different film and a different..., and when he asked one of them, he discovered that it was the next night!'

一個夏天的下午，埃文斯太太到當地的一所大電影院去看電影。精采的電影放到一半時，通常總有一個中間休息，使大家在這時能買些糖果、巧克力和冰淇淋。外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

埃文斯太太在電影院里很少買東西吃，但這次她感到很熱，所以她想：“我得吃塊冰淇淋涼快涼快，我確實需要吃冰淇淋。”很多觀眾都等著從一個賣冰淇淋的姑娘那里購買，所以埃文斯太太排隊等著。

有一個小男孩排在她的前面。當輪到這個男孩買時，他給姑娘10個便士要買一塊冰淇淋，但冰淇淋要20個便士，所以這姑娘就說“請給我另外的10個便士。”

這個小男孩把那個硬幣放回口袋，把手伸入另外一個口袋，拿出另一個10便士的硬幣，交給了那個姑娘。

埃文斯太太被逗樂了，結果她付了那另外的10個便士。

Timothy was ten years old.He was not a very good pupil, and he did not like having to do homework, because he preferred to do other things in his free time.Frequently he did not do his homework, and when he did do it, he always made a lot of mistakes.Then one day, his mathematics teacher looked at Timothy's homework and saw that he had got all his sums right.He was very pleasedand rather surprised.He called Timothy to his desk and said to him, 'You got all your home-work right this time, Timothy.What happened? Did your father help you?'

Usually Timothy's father did help him with his home-work, but the evening before this, he had not been able to, because he had not been at home, so Timothy answered, 'No, sir.He was busy last night, so I had to do it all myself.'

A.Answer these questions，1.What kind of homework did Timothy's teachers expect to see from him?

2.Why was one of his teachers surprised one day?

3.What did he think had happened?

4.Did Timothy usually do his homework alone?

5.When Timothy's father helped him with his homework, did he get all of it right? 外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

B.Opposites.Write these sentences.Put one word In each empty space.1.Timothy isn't free this evening: he is....He is doing his homework.2.Timothy didn't get his sums right frequently.He got them right very....3.Timothy was an honest boy.He was never....4.Timothy's teacher didn't think it was possible that he had done his homework without

help.He thought it was....5.Timothy wasn't ashamed of his homework that day: he was...of it.蒂莫西10歲了。他不是個很好的學生，而且不喜歡做該做的家庭作業，因為他在課外時間里更喜歡去干些不相干的事。他經常不完成家庭作業，而且，就算他做了，也總是錯誤百出。

后來有一天，蒂莫西的數學老師批閱他的家庭作業時，發現他的答案全都算對了。老師十分高興，而且頗為吃驚。他把蒂莫西叫到他的桌子旁并對他說：“這次你的家庭作業全做對了，蒂莫西。怎么回事？是你爸爸幫你做的嗎？”

以往蒂莫西的爸爸的確是常常幫他做家庭作業，但那天的前一個晚上，他爸爸因為不在家，沒能幫他做，所以蒂莫西回答說：“不是，先生。他昨天晚上很忙，所以我只好全部自己動手做了。”

A man met a friend in the street and asked him to lend him five pounds.The friend did so willingly，A week later they met again.'You've lent me￡5.Lend me another;￡5, and then I'll owe you￡10,' the friend said.The man did so，A few days later they met again, and the friend said, 'You lent me￡10.Lend me another;￡10, and then I'll owe you;￡20.' The man did this, although he was rather doubtful about doing it.Two weeks later the friend asked for more money.'You've already lent me￡20.Can you make it￡50?' he said.The man did not answer for a few seconds, but he was unable to refuse.外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

A month later, the two men met again.'You've lent me￡50_,'began the friend.'Who? Me?' answered the man anxiously.'I disagree!I've never lent you any money!'

A.Answer these questions.1.How did the man feel when his friend asked him for the first five pounds?

2.How did he feel when his friend asked him for the second ten pounds?.Why did he then lend him thirty more pounds?

4.Why did he say finally that he had never lent his friend any money?

5.How many times did the man lend his friend money;and how much did he lend him each time?

B.Opposites.What words in the story mean the opposite of:

1.accept

2.agree

3.calmly

4.certain

5.unwillingly

C.Write this story.Put one of these words or no word at an, in each empty space:

It net so

A: 'Can you lend me ten pounds, George?'

B: 'I think....Can I have it back on Friday?，A: 'I doubt....Won't next Sunday be all right?'

B: 'I'm afraid....I need it for Saturday., 外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

A: 'I see....I was afraid....Everybody needs money on Saturday.'

B: 'I agree....You see, my wife

A: 'You don't, have to explain....I understand....'

B: 'I hope....When I have to refuse a.friend, I don't like

一個男人在街上遇到了一個朋友，就向他借5英鎊錢。這個朋友樂意地借給了他。

一星期后他們又碰到了一起。“你已經借給我5鎊了，再借給我5鎊，這樣我就欠你10鎊了，”借錢的朋友說。那個男人借給他了。

幾天以后他們又相見了，那個借錢的朋友說：“你借給了我10鎊，再借給我10鎊，那么我就欠你20鎊了。”那個男人就借給了他，盡管他很懷疑該不該這么做。

兩星期后借錢的朋友又要借更多的錢。“你已經借給我20鎊了，你可以湊成50鎊嗎？”他說。

那個男人好幾分鐘答不上話，但他難以拒絕。

一個月以后，這兩人又相遇了。“你已經借給我50鎊了??，”那個借錢的朋友又開口了。

“誰？我嗎？”那個男人急忙地回答說：“我沒這事！我從沒有借給你一分錢！”

41.You Let Me Search Quite

Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things.One day, he went out with his little son.He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck.外語下載中心http://down.tingroom.com

After a time, he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people: “Have you seen my child?”

One of his villagers laughed and said: “Don't you know he is on your neck?”

Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck, he was so angry that he hit the son on the face, then shouted: “I have told you not to go here and there.Where did you go just now?” Notes:

(1)think of想起

(2)hearing this聽到這話。這是個分詞短語，相當于一個表示時間的狀語從句，即：When he heard this.Exercises: 根據短文填空：

① Once ______ a time, there was a man who always forgot things.② He was so happy that he put the son ______ his neck.③ After _______ time, he suddenly thought of his son.④ _______ this, the man took down his son from his neck.⑤ He was so angry that he hit the son _______ the face.41.叫我好找

古時，有個人記性極差。一天，他帶著小兒子出去玩。一高興，便把小兒子舉起來，讓他騎在自己的脖子上。

過了一會兒，他忽然想起兒子來，逢人便問：“你看到我孩子了嗎？”

“哎，你脖子上的那個不是嗎？”有個鄰居見了大笑。

這個人一把將小兒子從脖子上揪下來，狠狠地打了一耳光，罵道：“混蛋，叫你別亂跑，剛才你到哪里去了？”

第四篇：英語幽默故事

英語幽默經典故事

（一）An old man lived alone in northern ireland.His only son was in prison.The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden.He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, “for heavens sake, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the guns!”

At 4 am the next morning, a dozen british soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.His son's reply was: “just plant your potatoes.” 詞匯：

alone

northern Ireland prison garden plow

receive reply heavens sake dig

bury gun

dozen British soldier entire

confused Happen

短語： 譯文：

一個老人獨居在北愛爾蘭，他的獨生子正在坐牢。老人想在花園里種些土豆，但不知道誰可以幫忙把泥土翻松。他寫信想兒子提及此事，兒子回信說道：“看在上帝的面上，千萬不要翻松花園的泥土，我把槍埋在那兒了。”

第二天凌晨4點，一隊英國士兵出現在老人家中，在花園把土地翻遍，但并沒有找到任何槍支。”

老人寫信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情，問到底發生了什么事情，下一步應該怎么做。

兒子回信道：“你只管種土豆好了。”

（二）One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, “mom, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.”

The mother exclaimed, “but that's terrible!I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this!By the way, what was it that you didn't do?”

The little girl replied, “my homework.” 譯文：

一天，小女孩從學校回到家里，對媽媽說：“媽媽，今天在學校里我因為一件我沒有做的事情而受到懲罰。”

媽媽激動地說：“那真是太可怕了！我要跟你的老師好好談一談，對了，你沒有做過的那件事是什么？”

小女孩回答說：“我的家庭作業。”

（三）Where Am I 我在哪兒

An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside.He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” “Yes, ” the farmer looked at him strangely and said, “you are in your car, sir.” 譯文：

一個英國人在鄉下開車時迷了路，他看見一個農民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把車開過去問那位農民：“勞駕，您能告訴我我現在這是在哪兒嗎?” “可以。”農夫奇怪地看了看他，然后說道：“你現在在你的車子里，先生。”

（四）New Discovery

A farmer was visiting the big city for the first time.Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room.The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, “I should have brought my wife!”

譯文：

新發現

一個農民第一次到大城市游逛。他走進一座大樓，看見一個歲數很大的矮胖女人邁進一個小房間。房間的門隨后關上，有幾個燈在閃亮。一會兒，門開了，電梯里走出一位年輕漂亮的女模特。

這個農民驚奇地眨著眼睛，慢吞吞地說：“我應該把我的老婆帶來!”

（五）A Mistake

An Amercian, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident.They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St.Peterexplained that there had been a mistake.“Give me $500 each,” he said, “and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened.”

“Done!” said the American.Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.“Where are the others?” asked a medic.“Last I knew,” said the American, “the Scot was huggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay.”

譯文：

搞錯了

一位美國人，一位英格蘭人和一位加拿大人在一場車禍中喪生。他們到達天堂的門口。在那里，醉醺醺的圣彼德解釋說是搞錯了。“每人給我五百美元，”他說，“我將把你們送回人間，就象什么都沒有發生過一樣。”

“成交!”美國人說。立刻，他發現自己毫不損傷地站在現場附近。

“其他人在哪兒？”一名醫生問道。

“我離開之前，”那名美國人說，“我看見英格蘭人正在砍價，而那名加拿大人正在分辯說應該由他的政府來出這筆錢。”

（六）A Soldier's Brilliant Idea

Mr.Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air.He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat.He found all of them had already had been taken except for one.There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr.Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window;but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it.It was written in ink and said, “This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you.” Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane.The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.譯文：

士兵的高招

由于生意方面的事，羅賓遜先生得出趟門。因為有點緊急，他決定坐飛機。乘機旅行時，他喜歡靠窗坐，故而一登機，他就尋找一個靠窗的座位。他發現只有一個靠窗的座位還空著。在那空座位邊坐著一名士兵。令羅賓遜先生納悶的是，這位士兵沒有坐靠窗的位置。羅賓遜先生不管那些，他馬上徑直朝那個空座位走去。

然而，等到了那兒，他看見座位上有則啟事，是用鋼筆寫的：“為保持裝載平衡，特預設該位置，謝謝合作。”羅賓遜先生還從來沒有在飛機上見過如此不同尋常的啟事。不過，他想飛機上一定裝了什么特別重的物品，于是他找了個不靠窗的位置。

又有兩三個乘客試圖坐在那個士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他們看到那則啟事就走開了。當快滿座時，一位非常美麗的姑娘匆匆走進機艙。一直在注意進艙旅客的那個士兵趕緊拿掉他旁邊空座位上的啟事。士兵用這種辦法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。

（七）Keys? Kiss?

A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States.After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on.The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, “Give me the kays.” The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss.Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated.“Give me the kays.” The Italian shrugged his shoulders.Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.譯文：

鑰匙還是接吻

我的一位朋友在給一個成人學生班級上英語課。他們都是新近來美國生活的。在一張桌子上擺了許多日常用品之后，他請全班同學給他挑出尺子，書本，鋼筆等。課進行得井然有序，學生們對自己所做的似乎很感興趣，也很認真。后來輪到一名來自意大利的學生，我的朋友說：“給我鑰匙。”那人看起來非常吃驚，也有點手足無措。看到這種情況，我的朋友想是他沒有聽清楚，于是又重復了一遍：“給我鑰匙。”那位意大利學生聳了聳肩。接著，他伸出胳膊摟住老師的脖子在雙頰上親了兩下。

（八）First Flight Mr.Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr.Johnson was very worried about accepting.Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr.Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport.Mr.Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, “Look at those people down there.They look as small as ants, don't they?”

“Those are ants,” answered his friend.“We're still on the ground.”

譯文：

第一次坐飛機

約翰遜先生從前未乘過飛機，他讀過許多關于飛行事故的報道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀請他乘自己的小飛機飛行時，約翰遜先生非常擔心，不敢接受。不過，由于朋友不斷保證說飛行是很安全的，約翰遜先生終于被說服了，登上了飛機。

他的朋友啟動引擎開始在機場跑道上滑行。約翰遜先生聽說飛行中最危險的是起飛與降落，所以他嚇得緊閉雙眼。

過了一兩分鐘，他睜開雙眼朝窗外望去，接著對朋友說道：“看下面那些人，他們看起來就象螞蟻一樣小，是不是？”

“那些就是螞蟻，”他的朋友答道，“我們還在地面上。”

第五篇：英語幽默故事

英語幽默故事A film crew was on location deep in the desert.One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, “It will rain tomorrow.” The next day it rained.一個電影攝制組在沙漠深處進行拍攝。一天，一個印度老人來到導演面前對他說：“明天會下雨。”第二天果然下雨了。

A week later, the Indian went up to the director again and said, “There will be a storm tomorrow.” The next day there was a storm.一周以后，印度人又來了，他告訴導演說：“明天會有暴風雨。”果然，第二天有暴風雨。

“This Indian is incredible,” said the director.He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.“這個印度人真神，”導演說。他告訴他的秘書去雇傭這個印度人來預測天氣。

However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.然而，幾次預測天氣成功之后，這個印度人連續兩周沒有露面。

Finally the director sent for him.“I have to shoot an important scene tomorrow,” said the director.“And I'm depending on you.What will the weather be like?” 最后，導演派人把這個印度人請來了。導演對他說：“我明天必須拍攝一個很重要的場景，全都指望你了，明天天氣如何啊？” The Indian shrugged his shoulders.“I don't know,” he said.“My radio is broken.” 這個印度人聳了聳肩說道：“我不知道，我的收音機壞了。” 2 Chief is at the wedding 長官在婚禮上

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.大街上的一個超速駕駛者被警察攔住了。“But officer,” the man said, “I can explain.” “但是警官”這個人說道，“我可以解釋的”。

“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer.“I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.” “保持安靜”，警察突然說道。“我將把你送往監獄，直到長官回來。

“But ,officer, I ….” “但是，警察，我，，”。

“I said to keep quiet!You are going to jail!” “我說過了保持安靜，你要到監獄了。”

A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding.He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.” 幾小時后，警察向監獄里看了看說道“算你運氣好，因為我們的長官正在他女兒的婚禮上。他會帶著一個愉快的心情回來的。” “Are you sure?” answered the man in the cell.“I'm the groom.” “你確定”在牢房里的這個人說道。“我就是新郎呀”。

1.stop

stop to do sth 是停下手上的事去做另一件事 stop doing sth 是停止手上正在做的事

2.speeding n.超速行駛

speeding在這里作名詞使用，表示超速行駛，也可以作speed現在分詞，表示加速。eg：So where you headed? Was I speeding too? 你要去哪里？我有超速嗎？ 3

Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story.Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.“You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?” he began.The children nodded yes.“Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone.He's on the other end, but you can't see him.He is listening though.”

Just then a little boy piped up and asked, “What's his number?”

在電話中交談

每個星期天牧師都會把孩子們叫到教堂前面，然后給他們講一個故事。一天，他為了更好地闡述祈禱的含義，帶來了一臺電話機。

“你們和別人在電話里交談，并沒有看到電話線另一端的人，對嗎？”他開始問道。孩子們點頭稱是。“好的，和上帝交談就象通過電話交談一樣。他就在另一端，雖然你看不見他，但是他正在聆聽你的心聲。”

就在這時，一個小男孩尖著嗓子問道：“那他的電話號碼是什么？” 3

She'd rather buy a gift

While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday.“That's okay,” he said, “The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey.” Mom pondered that idea and then replied “I'd rather buy you a gift.”

她寧愿買一件禮物

旅途中，媽媽想起她忘記給爸爸買一件生日禮物。“沒關系，”他說，“我最想要的東西是你的愛、忠貞和溫順。”媽媽沉思片刻后回答說，“我寧愿給你買一件禮物。” 4 Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!

I know all that.Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married.親愛的，丈夫對妻子說：我邀請了一位朋友回家吃晚飯。

什么？你瘋了嗎？我們的房子亂糟糟的，我很久沒有買過東西回來了，所有的碗碟都是臟的，還有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚飯。

這些我全都知道。

那你為什么還要邀請朋友回來吃晚飯？

因為那個可憐的笨蛋正考慮要結婚呢。5 DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU?

One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right.The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised.He called Tim to his desk and said to him, You got all your homework right this time, Tim.What happened? Did your father help you?

No, sir.He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself, said Tim.你爸爸幫你了嗎？

一天，蒂姆的數學老師看了他的作業，發現他全做對了。老師很高興，同時也十分驚訝。他把蒂姆叫到桌前說：蒂姆，你這次的作業全都做對了，怎么回事？你爸爸幫你做了嗎？ 不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。