第一篇：中美職場(chǎng)潛規(guī)則差異揭秘

中美職場(chǎng)潛規(guī)則差異揭秘

Anne Fisher為《財(cái)富》雜志《向Anne提問(wèn)》的專欄作者，這個(gè)職場(chǎng)專欄始于1996年，幫助讀者適應(yīng)經(jīng)濟(jì)的興衰起落、行業(yè)轉(zhuǎn)換，以及工作中面臨的各種困惑。

一樣是當(dāng)老板，在中國(guó)和在美國(guó)的情形可能完全不一樣，而造成這種情況的原因就在于中美文化傳統(tǒng)的不同。在異國(guó)文化環(huán)境里帶團(tuán)隊(duì)的管理者必須搞清楚這種微妙的差異。

Dear Annie: I joined a global manufacturing company as a project manager last year, and have now been tapped for my first overseas assignment, in one of our factories in China.It's a big career move, since all the senior executives in my division have a lot of international experience, and I'm really excited about it.The only thing giving me pause is that I'm being sent there to “turn things around,” replacing someone who failed to reach the targets set by senior management.When I asked him what obstacles he was dealing with, he said that, although he explained repeatedly what needed to be done, the team he managed kept doing everything the same old way.Another issue has been that people who were aware of major production glitches didn't say anything until it was too late to fix them.Can you or your readers shed any light on how to avoid a replay of the same problems? — Beijing Bound Dear B.B.: Interesting question, especially since international assignments seem to be on the rise.Almost 40% of U.S.-based companies sent more employees overseas abroad in 2013 than they did in 2012, according to recent report on corporate relocations by movers Atlas Van Lines.Some employers offer cross-cultural training to managers they're sending overseas, but others — such as yours, apparently— expect people to figure it out for themselves.That can be tough, because even Americans who have traveled a lot on vacation often don't grasp how doing business differs across cultural lines.“A big factor in this is that American business norms are the most task-oriented in the world,” notes Erin Meyer, a professor of management at global business school INSEAD in France.“Managers are focused on the work.They just want to get the job done.” In many other countries, however — including China, Japan, Korea, and India, but also other places like Mexico, Brazil, and Nigeria — that approach not only doesn't work, it's considered downright offensive.“There's often much less of a dividing line between 'business' and 'personal,'” Meyer says.“So the managers who succeed are those who try to get to know colleagues at a deeper level” by, for instance, going out for lots of dinners where business is never discussed.It may strike many Americans as a waste of time but, says Meyer, “colleagues in other countries need to know and trust you before they can do business with you.” Meyer wrote a fascinating new book you might want to check out, The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business.Meanwhile, she has three suggestions for you on how to do better in China than your predecessor did, especially when it comes to getting people to be honest with you about what is going wrong.First, understand that the role of boss in China is not at all the same as in the U.S.“A Chinese boss is much more of a father, or mother, figure,” Meyer notes.“You need to get to know people individually and be much more involved in their personal lives, including helping them solve personal problems, than is usual for American managers.” Breaking through Asian employees' initial shyness and reserve takes some patience, she adds, but it's well worth the investment of time, because it creates the kind of loyalty and trust that makes people more willing to follow instructions at work — and, just as important, encourages people to be frank with you(about, for example, those “major production glitches” you mention).Second, says Meyer, “Learn to recognize the unsaid 'no.'” As the manager you're replacing seems to have learned the hard way, people raised in more hierarchical cultures have been taught that saying “no” to an authority figure is disrespectful.So is pointing out reasons why his or her ideas or instructions won't work.In a U.S.meeting, for example, the boss often expresses his or her point of view first and then asks for comments.“If you do that in China or any other more hierarchical society, everyone will feel obliged to agree with you,” Meyer says — even if they know perfectly well that you're dead wrong.親愛(ài)的安妮：去年，我加入了一家跨國(guó)制造公司，擔(dān)任項(xiàng)目經(jīng)理。現(xiàn)在被派往位于中國(guó)的一家工廠，這是我的第一項(xiàng)海外任務(wù)。這是一次有重要意義的職業(yè)變動(dòng)，因?yàn)槲宜诓块T的所有高管都擁有豐富的國(guó)際經(jīng)驗(yàn)。我對(duì)這次機(jī)會(huì)感到非常興奮。

唯一讓我有所顧慮的是，我被派往那里的目的是“扭轉(zhuǎn)局面”，取代一位未能完成高層既定目標(biāo)的同事。我曾問(wèn)他遇到了哪些障礙，他說(shuō)雖然自己反復(fù)解釋了需要做什么，但他管理的團(tuán)隊(duì)依然我行我素。另外一個(gè)問(wèn)題是，即使人們知道存在嚴(yán)重的生產(chǎn)故障，但沒(méi)有人會(huì)說(shuō)出來(lái)，直到問(wèn)題嚴(yán)重到難以解決的程度。我該如何才能避免重蹈覆轍？您或您的讀者有什么建議嗎？——B.B.親愛(ài)的B.B.：這是一個(gè)很有意思的問(wèn)題，尤其是現(xiàn)在國(guó)際任務(wù)似乎越來(lái)越多。安家公司Atlas Van Lines在近期有關(guān)公司重新安置的報(bào)告中稱，2013年，約40%的美國(guó)公司派駐海外的員工人數(shù)超過(guò)了2012年。有些員工會(huì)對(duì)即將派駐海外的管理人員提供跨文化培訓(xùn)，但有些公司卻指望人們自己解決文化差異問(wèn)題，你所在的公司就是一個(gè)明顯的例子。

（靠自己克服文化差異）非常困難，因?yàn)榧幢闶墙?jīng)常出國(guó)旅游度假的美國(guó)人，也弄不明白如何在不同的文化背景下開(kāi)展業(yè)務(wù)。法國(guó)國(guó)際商學(xué)院歐洲工商管理學(xué)院（INSEAD）的管理學(xué)教授艾琳?邁耶說(shuō)：“一個(gè)重要的因素是，全世界美國(guó)人的商業(yè)準(zhǔn)則是最以任務(wù)為導(dǎo)向的。管理者們專注于工作。他們的想法很單純，就是希望完成工作而已。”

但在其他許多國(guó)家，包括中國(guó)、日本、韓國(guó)和印度，以及墨西哥、巴西和尼日利亞等國(guó)家，這種方式卻并不適合，相反，這被認(rèn)為是一種徹徹底底的冒犯行為。

邁耶說(shuō)：“在那些國(guó)家，‘生意’與‘個(gè)人’之間沒(méi)有明確的界限。所以，能在那些國(guó)家成功的管理者，都會(huì)更深入地了解自己的同事，”例如，經(jīng)常在一起用餐，但在飯桌上并不討論業(yè)務(wù)問(wèn)題。許多美國(guó)人會(huì)認(rèn)為這是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間，但邁耶表示：“其他國(guó)家的同事首先需要了解和信任你，然后才能與你一起共事。”

邁耶出版的一本引人入勝的新書(shū)《文化版圖：打破全球商業(yè)隱形壁壘》（The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business），或許值得你細(xì)細(xì)品讀。此外，對(duì)于在中國(guó)，如何比前任做的更好，尤其是如何讓人們開(kāi)誠(chéng)布公地向你反映問(wèn)題，她給出了三條建議。

首先要理解的一點(diǎn)是，在中國(guó)，老板的角色與在美國(guó)并不相同。邁耶說(shuō)：“中國(guó)老板更像是一個(gè)家庭中的父親或母親的角色。你需要了解每一個(gè)人，并且要擺脫美國(guó)管理者的習(xí)慣做法，要更多參與到他們的個(gè)人生活當(dāng)中，包括解決他們的個(gè)人問(wèn)題。”

她補(bǔ)充道，要突破亞洲員工最初的羞澀和自我保護(hù)，需要有耐心，但這值得投入時(shí)間，因?yàn)槟愕耐度霑?huì)給你帶來(lái)忠誠(chéng)和信任，讓人們?cè)诠ぷ髦懈敢庾駨哪愕闹甘尽彝瑯又匾氖牵膭?lì)人們對(duì)你坦誠(chéng)相待（例如，關(guān)于你所提到的“嚴(yán)重的生產(chǎn)故障”）。

其次，邁耶表示：“學(xué)會(huì)辨認(rèn)無(wú)言的拒絕。在更注重等級(jí)的文化中長(zhǎng)大的人從小接受的教育是，對(duì)權(quán)威說(shuō)‘不’是無(wú)禮的行為，你的前任似乎吃了一番苦頭之后才終于明白了這一點(diǎn)。而這也是為什么他或她的理念或指示得不到執(zhí)行的原因。”

例如，在美國(guó)的會(huì)議中，老板通常會(huì)首先表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)，然后要求其他人提出意見(jiàn)。邁耶說(shuō)：“在中國(guó)或其他更注重等級(jí)的社會(huì)，如果你這么做，所有人只會(huì)感覺(jué)應(yīng)該同意你的觀點(diǎn)，”即便他們很清楚你錯(cuò)得離譜。

This plays out in other potentially disastrous ways, too.“If you ask a Chinese employee, 'Can you get this done in two weeks?' he or she will say something like, 'Yes, we will try,'” says Meyer.“But that is usually just politeness.If it comes with any hesitation, or a sigh, it probably means, 'No way in hell.'” Anything that “smells at all like a 'no,'” she adds, means that “you need to dig deeper to find out the real situation” — which is a lot easier if you've already built rapport.A third major difference between American and Chinese culture is that, in the latter, the group's consensus takes precedence over any individual's point of view.“You won't get honesty by putting anyone on the spot,” Meyer says.“Employees are not comfortable expressing their own opinion.They need to confer with each other first.” So it's a mistake to run team meetings the way you probably do in the U.S., calling on people one by one or expecting them to chime in with their thoughts.Instead, Meyer advises, “Suggest that the group have a short discussion without you — during a 15-minute coffee break, for instance, where you leave the room — and report back to you afterwards on how they see the situation.” That approach is much more likely to lead to the kind of candor you'll need to successfully turn things around.Talkback: If you've ever worked in a foreign culture, how was it different from doing a similar job in the U.S.? Leave a comment below.這種口是心非的情況也會(huì)出現(xiàn)在其他可能造成災(zāi)難的溝通方式中。邁耶說(shuō)：“如果你問(wèn)一名中國(guó)員工：‘你能在兩周內(nèi)把這項(xiàng)工作完成嗎？’他或她會(huì)這樣說(shuō)：‘是的，我們會(huì)盡量。’而這通常只是出于禮貌。如果對(duì)方有任何猶豫或嘆氣，那么他們真實(shí)的意思可能是：‘根本不可能。’”她補(bǔ)充說(shuō)，如果“感覺(jué)存在任何否定的意味”，這表明“你需要深入挖掘真實(shí)情況”——而如果已經(jīng)與對(duì)方建立了親密關(guān)系，這項(xiàng)工作便會(huì)容易得多。

中美文化的第三個(gè)主要差異在于，在中國(guó)，集體的意見(jiàn)高于個(gè)人觀點(diǎn)。邁耶說(shuō)：“如果當(dāng)場(chǎng)詢問(wèn)，你不可能得到誠(chéng)實(shí)的回答。員工不愿意表達(dá)自己的意見(jiàn)。他們需要先在私下里彼此協(xié)商。”

所以，按照在美國(guó)的方式召開(kāi)團(tuán)隊(duì)會(huì)議，比如逐個(gè)要求員工或希望他們表達(dá)自己的想法，在中國(guó)可能行不通。相反，邁耶建議：“建議團(tuán)隊(duì)在你不在場(chǎng)的情況下，進(jìn)行一次簡(jiǎn)短的討論——例如在15分鐘的休息時(shí)間，你可以離開(kāi)會(huì)議室，之后要求他們向你報(bào)告他們對(duì)當(dāng)前情況的看法。”通過(guò)這種方式，更有可能得到你所需要的坦白，幫助你成功地扭轉(zhuǎn)局面。（財(cái)富中文網(wǎng)）

反饋：如果你曾在異國(guó)文化下工作，它與在美國(guó)類似的工作有什么區(qū)別？歡迎留言評(píng)論。

譯者：劉進(jìn)龍/汪皓

第二篇：中美職場(chǎng)潛規(guī)則有哪些奇怪差異？

中美職場(chǎng)潛規(guī)則有哪些奇怪差異？

（僑報(bào)網(wǎng)特色欄目【嬉皮笑臉】第33期，用輕松幽默的方式看新聞，歡迎持續(xù)關(guān)注。）

美國(guó)人有兩個(gè)獨(dú)有的格言，一是“這就是歷史”，二是“讓錢說(shuō)話”。從這獨(dú)特的表達(dá)方式中可以一窺美國(guó)人的職場(chǎng)文化。

美國(guó)人有著年輕，多元化和性格意向。在某種意義上，美國(guó)是不滿者的國(guó)家，人們對(duì)現(xiàn)狀不滿，追求更好的未來(lái)，而不是沉浸在歷史的輝煌中。最能代表這一點(diǎn)的是美國(guó)的兩句俚語(yǔ)。其一是，“T hat‘shis-tory”“那是歷史”，他們說(shuō)這句話是想表達(dá)對(duì)于過(guò)去錯(cuò)誤的原諒和忘記，證明自己的寬宏大量。當(dāng)朋友或工作伙伴犯了一個(gè)能夠修正的錯(cuò)誤時(shí)，他們會(huì)說(shuō)這句話。但是同時(shí)，這句話也在強(qiáng)調(diào)，他們對(duì)未來(lái)的成果有所期待。

這一表達(dá)還暗示了美國(guó)人對(duì)于文化和個(gè)人傳統(tǒng)的輕視。這個(gè)表達(dá)其實(shí)是在說(shuō)“這個(gè)無(wú)關(guān)緊要”。當(dāng)然，中國(guó)人會(huì)堅(jiān)持歷史是理解一個(gè)人的動(dòng)機(jī)和抱負(fù)的全部。從另一方面來(lái)說(shuō)，美國(guó)人對(duì)遙遠(yuǎn)的過(guò)去沒(méi)有太多責(zé)任感，對(duì)未來(lái)也不會(huì)想得太深。他們希望很快得到結(jié)果。

用通俗易懂的話來(lái)表述美國(guó)人的職場(chǎng)觀念就是：簡(jiǎn)單、直接、粗暴。

來(lái)看個(gè)真實(shí)的故事，去年，美國(guó)人B.B.加入了一家跨國(guó)制造公司，擔(dān)任項(xiàng)目經(jīng)理。現(xiàn)在被派往位于中國(guó)的一家工廠，這是B.B.的第一項(xiàng)海外任務(wù)。這是一次有重要意義的職業(yè)變動(dòng)，因?yàn)锽.B.所在部門的所有高管都擁有豐富的國(guó)際經(jīng)驗(yàn)。B.B.對(duì)這次機(jī)會(huì)感到非常興奮。

唯一讓B.B.有所顧慮的是，被派往那里的目的是“扭轉(zhuǎn)局面”，取代一位未能完成高層既定目標(biāo)的同事。B.B.曾問(wèn)他遇到了哪些障礙，他說(shuō)雖然自己反復(fù)解釋了需要做什么，但他管理的團(tuán)隊(duì)依然我行我素。另外一個(gè)問(wèn)題是，即使人們知道存在嚴(yán)重的生產(chǎn)故障，但沒(méi)有人會(huì)說(shuō)出來(lái)，直到問(wèn)題嚴(yán)重到難以解決的程度。對(duì)此B.B.表示很惆悵，不知該如何下手。

這的確是一個(gè)很有意思的問(wèn)題，尤其是現(xiàn)在中美合作越來(lái)越多，人員外派數(shù)量成上升趨勢(shì)。有報(bào)告稱，2013年，約40%的美國(guó)公司派駐海外的員工人數(shù)超過(guò)了2012年。有些員工會(huì)對(duì)即將派駐海外的管理人員提供跨文化培訓(xùn)，但有些公司卻指望人們自己解決文化差異問(wèn)題。

法國(guó)國(guó)際商學(xué)院歐洲工商管理學(xué)院的管理學(xué)教授艾琳邁耶說(shuō)：“一個(gè)重要的因素是，全世界美國(guó)人的商業(yè)準(zhǔn)則是最以任務(wù)為導(dǎo)向的。管理者們專注于工作。他們的想法很單純，就是希望完成工作而已。”

但在其他許多國(guó)家，包括中國(guó)、日本、韓國(guó)和印度，以及墨西哥、巴西和尼日利亞等國(guó)家，這種方式卻并不適合，相反，這被認(rèn)為是一種徹徹底底的冒犯行為。

那這些國(guó)家，生意與個(gè)人之間沒(méi)有明確的界限。所以，能在那些國(guó)家成功的管理者，都會(huì)更深入地了解自己的同事，例如，經(jīng)常在一起用餐，但在飯桌上并不討論業(yè)務(wù)問(wèn)題。許多美國(guó)人會(huì)認(rèn)為這是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間，但邁耶表示，其他國(guó)家的同事首先需要了解和信任你，然后才能與你一起共事。這就是中國(guó)人所謂的“酒桌文化”，吃好了喝的開(kāi)心了什么事都好說(shuō)。

美國(guó)人常常覺(jué)得中國(guó)人不夠直白，且缺少自信，而中國(guó)人可能認(rèn)為美國(guó)人做事粗魯欠考慮。這樣的情況會(huì)造成沖突和誤會(huì)，最終影響工作效率。

其次，在中國(guó)，集體的意見(jiàn)高于個(gè)人觀點(diǎn)。如果當(dāng)場(chǎng)詢問(wèn)，你不可能得到誠(chéng)實(shí)的回答。員工不愿意表達(dá)自己的意見(jiàn)。他們需要先在私下里彼此協(xié)商。

逐個(gè)要求員工或希望他們表達(dá)自己的想法，在中國(guó)可能行不通。相反，建議團(tuán)隊(duì)在你不在場(chǎng)的情況下，進(jìn)行一次簡(jiǎn)短的討論——例如在15分鐘的休息時(shí)間，你可以離開(kāi)會(huì)議室，之后要求他們向你報(bào)告他們對(duì)當(dāng)前情況的看法。通過(guò)這種方式，更有可能得到你所需要的坦白，幫助你成功地扭轉(zhuǎn)局面。再有就是關(guān)于“權(quán)利越位”的差異，你的美籍老板給了你們小組一個(gè)項(xiàng)目，在布置任務(wù)時(shí)，你們小組成員沒(méi)人提出異議或疑問(wèn)。你的老板布置完以后就放心地走了。可是到了規(guī)定交差的時(shí)間，你的老板發(fā)現(xiàn)原來(lái)你們小組只做了一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)，沒(méi)有完成他指定的任務(wù)。老板當(dāng)很生氣，可是作為員工，你和你的同事也覺(jué)得很委屈，因?yàn)樵谕瓿蛇@個(gè)任務(wù)的過(guò)程中，你們遇到了一些不在你們職權(quán)范圍內(nèi)的事情，你們需要老板的授權(quán)，然后才能走下一步。這就是你們沒(méi)有完成任務(wù)的理由。

顯然，在對(duì)待自主性這件事上，美籍老板和中國(guó)員工想的不一樣。這又是中西文化差異的一個(gè)表現(xiàn)。在中國(guó)的文化里，不能做未經(jīng)授權(quán)的事情，不能做“越位”的事情，等級(jí)觀念很重，他們要循規(guī)蹈矩，要按章辦事。可是在西方企業(yè)的管理理念里，“給我結(jié)果”“我只看結(jié)果”是第一位的，很多職業(yè)經(jīng)理人都是以結(jié)果為導(dǎo)向，所以在遇到難題時(shí)，他們會(huì)更加傾向于想辦法解決，即使“越位”也不在話下。

在美國(guó)，如果員工答應(yīng)做某件事情，那么他就會(huì)去做；如果他們沒(méi)有拿到一個(gè)簽字或授權(quán)，那么員工就會(huì)直接給老板打電話告知他這件事情。如果沒(méi)有在中途告知老板出現(xiàn)的問(wèn)題，一直等要交差時(shí)老板才知道，這個(gè)員工很可能會(huì)被炒魷魚(yú)。

所以，美國(guó)上司應(yīng)該學(xué)會(huì)辨認(rèn)無(wú)言的拒絕。在更注重等級(jí)的文化中長(zhǎng)大的人從小接受的教育是，對(duì)權(quán)威說(shuō)‘不’是無(wú)禮的行為。如果你問(wèn)一名中國(guó)員工：‘你能在兩周內(nèi)把這項(xiàng)工作完成嗎？’他或她會(huì)這樣說(shuō)：‘是的，我們會(huì)盡量。’而這通常只是出于禮貌。如果對(duì)方有任何猶豫或嘆氣，那么他們真實(shí)的意思可能是：‘根本不可能。’”如果“感覺(jué)存在任何否定的意味”，這表明“你需要深入挖掘真實(shí)情況”。

跟父母、愛(ài)人和朋友都會(huì)經(jīng)常有溝通障礙，何況是在完全不同的文化環(huán)境下長(zhǎng)大的人。摩擦可以有，但要學(xué)會(huì)溝通，要做到目交心通確實(shí)難為人，但把酒言歡、對(duì)酒當(dāng)歌什么的真的可以有。

（編輯：陳西）

第三篇：讀《三國(guó)》《水滸》,看職場(chǎng)潛規(guī)

讀《三國(guó)》《水滸》，看職場(chǎng)潛規(guī)

文學(xué)是人學(xué)，是典型化了的社會(huì)生活寫(xiě)照，社會(huì)百態(tài)、忠奸惡善，一應(yīng)俱全，下面采擷幾朵花絮以饗讀者。

一，好員工要學(xué)會(huì)適時(shí)跳槽。員工一定要對(duì)公司忠誠(chéng)嗎？這是最大的謬誤，例如林沖，作為全國(guó)最大的公司——朝廷，已經(jīng)絲毫沒(méi)有留林沖的意思了，跳槽是他唯一正確的選擇。

二，選老板比選公司重要。請(qǐng)諸葛亮出山前有三大公司可選：曹操、孫權(quán)、劉備。劉備連個(gè)地盤(pán)也沒(méi)有，實(shí)力最差，公司風(fēng)雨飄搖，諸葛亮看重了老板的忠誠(chéng)，三顧之恩感動(dòng)了他，跟劉備干，才華得到最大發(fā)揮，公司也由小變大，正所謂“良禽擇木而棲，賢將擇主而事”。

三，利用一切關(guān)系人脈資源是成功的捷徑。龐統(tǒng)因貌丑，被孫權(quán)摒棄，投奔了劉皇叔，劉備也以貌取人只給了他一個(gè)小小的縣令，一呆幾年的光陰，幸好張飛發(fā)現(xiàn)了這個(gè)人才，后來(lái)見(jiàn)到劉備才拿出諸葛亮的推薦信，早干嘛去了！這么好的資源不用，光靠自己行嗎？“好風(fēng)憑借力——送我上浮云”。

四，老板不一定總為公司的利益著想。宋江作為梁山在位最長(zhǎng)的老板，他最關(guān)心的是自己能坐更高的位子，以便為自己撈取更多的社會(huì)關(guān)系，因此，梁山集團(tuán)及各位職員的利益，只是宋江實(shí)現(xiàn)自己利益的跳板與棋子，梁山接受招安成為必然。

五，后院起火永遠(yuǎn)是公司倒閉的一大根源。武大郎作為燒餅鋪的老板，雖然生意微小，但能養(yǎng)家活命，無(wú)奈金蓮紅杏出墻，導(dǎo)致武大郎卿卿小命也沒(méi)了。六，世襲制家族企業(yè)不會(huì)長(zhǎng)久。劉備的兒子阿斗，扶不起來(lái)，孫家也是一代不如一代，曹家也被司馬家族所取代，“家富不過(guò)三代”，選賢明的人接班才能保證公司興旺發(fā)達(dá)。

七，健商比情商、智商更重要。“出師未捷身先死，長(zhǎng)使英雄淚滿襟”，如同一塊木炭未燃燒就熄滅了，周郎雄姿英發(fā)，足智多謀，不假天年，呂蒙后起之秀，令人刮目相待，去是個(gè)病秧子。看人家司馬懿，靠死了曹操、曹丕、曹睿三代人，誰(shuí)活得長(zhǎng)久，天下就是誰(shuí)的了。

讀《三國(guó)》《水滸》，看職場(chǎng)潛規(guī)則，不禁感慨萬(wàn)千。

第四篇：中美禮儀差異

由于各國(guó)的歷史與文 化底蘊(yùn)不同，各國(guó)人民在進(jìn)行禮尚交往時(shí)的習(xí)慣也有不少差異。特別是中西方之間，禮儀上的差別很大，若不了解，就容易引起不必要的誤會(huì)和損失。例如，在中國(guó)近代史上，由于中國(guó)閉關(guān)自守，對(duì)西方不了解，在一次希特勒舉行的宴會(huì)上，一位中國(guó)使節(jié)按照在中國(guó)的習(xí)慣用餐巾去揩拭刀叉，殊不知這種做法在國(guó)外是極不禮貌的，仿佛是在責(zé)備刀叉不干凈。希特勒一見(jiàn)之下，立即命令侍者將全體客人的餐具一律重新?lián)Q過(guò)，使那位中國(guó)使節(jié)窘迫難堪。再例如，李鴻章曾應(yīng)俾斯麥之邀前往赴宴，由于不懂西餐禮儀，把一碗吃水果后洗手的水喝了。當(dāng)時(shí)俾斯麥不了解中國(guó)的虛實(shí)，為了不使李鴻章丟丑，他也將洗手水一飲而盡，見(jiàn)此情景，其他文武百官只能忍笑奉陪。在文化方面就美國(guó)來(lái)講，中國(guó)人贊賞推崇的愚公移山，令全拿搬家不當(dāng)回事的美國(guó)人大惑不解，他們會(huì)用智叟的語(yǔ)調(diào)發(fā)問(wèn)：“他為什么不搬家？”中國(guó)人以謙虛為美德，而美國(guó)人對(duì)中國(guó)人“水平不高，能力有限”的自謙并不以為然，相反地他會(huì)認(rèn)為你缺乏自信，不知有多少留學(xué)生在美國(guó)因?yàn)椤爸t虛”而推掉了飯碗。如此相反的結(jié)論，如此巨大的反差，是東西方存在的文化差異的顯現(xiàn)。

造成這種差異的根本原因，是因?yàn)槲鞣饺撕臀覀冇兄耆煌氖澜缬^和價(jià)值取向。當(dāng)然西方人也有許多地方是值得我們學(xué)習(xí)的。例如，中國(guó)游客在美旅游后準(zhǔn)備買票回國(guó)，憑主觀想象買票是肯定要排隊(duì)的，但當(dāng)他們進(jìn)入售票大廳時(shí)，見(jiàn)窗口只有一個(gè)人在辦理手續(xù)，另有幾個(gè)人靜靜地坐在大廳的邊上。我國(guó)的游客馬上擁至窗口搶購(gòu)機(jī)票，售票員在給中國(guó)游客辦好機(jī)票后，微笑著對(duì)他們說(shuō)：“下次買票請(qǐng)自覺(jué)排隊(duì)，并用手指了指邊上的人，當(dāng)中國(guó)人回頭看時(shí)，他們報(bào)微笑，使幾個(gè)中國(guó)人真是無(wú)地自容。在現(xiàn)代的社會(huì)再犯這樣的錯(cuò)誤是不應(yīng)該的，以自己的國(guó)情來(lái)看待別國(guó)才會(huì)出“洋相”，這有待于提高自己的文化素質(zhì)，因此，了解中西方禮尚交往之間的習(xí)慣差異是很有必要的。若一無(wú)所知，就容易在與外國(guó)人交往時(shí)處于不利的形勢(shì)。無(wú)論是在政治上，還是在經(jīng)濟(jì)貿(mào)易中，了解對(duì)方國(guó)家的禮儀習(xí)慣，是對(duì)對(duì)方的尊重，容易給對(duì)方留下一個(gè)好印象，以便交往的順利進(jìn)行。

首先要明確，東方文明和西方文明都是在一定的社會(huì)歷史條件下產(chǎn)生和發(fā)展的，存在都是合理的，沒(méi)有孰優(yōu)孰劣的問(wèn)題。就美國(guó)來(lái)說(shuō)，它的歷史只有短短200年，而它的人民是從各個(gè)地方移民而來(lái)的，可以說(shuō)美國(guó)是一個(gè)“大熔爐”，它合眾為一，眾多不同民族和種族都融合在一起，很多人被同化了，不管什么膚色，不管講何種語(yǔ)言，都自豪地稱自己是美國(guó)人。他們的宗旨是永遠(yuǎn)向前看，遙望目力所及的前方，并且邁開(kāi)雙腳前進(jìn)；自強(qiáng)自立，追求幸福，永不滿足。這是他們良好的品質(zhì)和素質(zhì)，而他們信奉的誓言是：“只要我們能夠夢(mèng)想的我們就一定能夠?qū)崿F(xiàn)！”這是美國(guó)精神，是在英雄主義和獻(xiàn)身精神的基礎(chǔ)上建立起來(lái)的，以它短短200年的歷史，創(chuàng)造了人類史上的燦爛文明，它所創(chuàng)造的生產(chǎn)力，比過(guò)去一切世代創(chuàng)造的全部生產(chǎn)力還要多，還要大，這就是美國(guó)的魅力。我們不能因?yàn)橹袊?guó)是擁有五千年傳統(tǒng)文化的，就盲目自大，而應(yīng)尊重別人，尊重他人的人格與習(xí)慣，這樣交往才能順利進(jìn)行。所以了解、研究別國(guó)的禮儀就顯得很有必要了。

下面，我們對(duì)美國(guó)的禮儀文化作點(diǎn)研究：

美國(guó)成立時(shí)間不長(zhǎng)，國(guó)內(nèi)各類移民又不計(jì)其數(shù)，因此美國(guó)的禮儀文化可以說(shuō)是多種文化的匯合，有不少都與中國(guó)人的習(xí)慣截然相反。

一、見(jiàn)面的禮儀。

美國(guó)人見(jiàn)面時(shí)，不一定會(huì)握手，只要笑一笑，打個(gè)招呼就行了，即使是第一次見(jiàn)面，而中國(guó)人則視握手為一個(gè)基本禮節(jié)。但在中國(guó)握手并沒(méi)有太多的限定，而美國(guó)人握手是有一定禮節(jié)的。例如男女之間，女方先伸出手，若女方無(wú)握手之意，男子就只能點(diǎn)頭鞠躬致意；長(zhǎng)幼之間由長(zhǎng)輩先伸出手；上下級(jí)之間，由上級(jí)先伸出手；賓主之間由主人先伸出手。而且握手時(shí)應(yīng)注視對(duì)方，并摘下手套，否則會(huì)被視為不禮貌。在美國(guó)，人們見(jiàn)面時(shí)喜歡直呼其名，這是親切友好的表示，縱使交談之初可能互相用姓稱呼，但過(guò)一會(huì)兒就改稱名字。而在中國(guó)，人們很喜歡被稱為某某經(jīng)理，某某總裁，因?yàn)檫@是身份與地位的象征。但在美國(guó)，人們很少用正式的頭銜稱呼別人，正式的頭銜只用于法官、高級(jí)政府官員，軍官，醫(yī)生，教授和高級(jí)宗教人士。值得注意的是，美國(guó)從來(lái)不用行政職務(wù)如局長(zhǎng)、經(jīng)理、校長(zhǎng)等頭銜來(lái)稱呼別人。另外，在與人交談時(shí)，切不可談及個(gè)人的私事，諸如年齡、婚姻、收入、信仰等等。看到別人買的東西不可問(wèn)其價(jià)格；如果看到別人回來(lái)，也不能問(wèn)他去哪兒了或者從哪里來(lái)，否則就會(huì)遭人厭惡，美國(guó)人常用“鼻子伸到人家私生活里來(lái)了”這句話來(lái)表示對(duì)提問(wèn)人的輕蔑。而在中國(guó)，人們對(duì)個(gè)人隱私的界限遠(yuǎn)沒(méi)有這么深刻，人們并不會(huì)在意別人對(duì)自己的生活作一般了解。但在中國(guó)人與美國(guó)人打交道時(shí)，在中國(guó)人看來(lái)很普通地問(wèn)對(duì)方一些家庭情況，美國(guó)人就很可能認(rèn)為你侵犯了他的隱私，別有用心，一樁生意很可能就這樣泡湯了。

二、送禮、約會(huì)、作客的禮儀。

一般來(lái)說(shuō)，美國(guó)人不隨便送禮，禮物通常不很貴重，只是些書(shū)籍、文具、巧克力糖之類的物品，在探病時(shí)則以送鮮花與盆景為主。與中國(guó)不同的是，美國(guó)人以為單數(shù)是吉利的，有時(shí)只送三只梨也不感到菲薄，而中國(guó)則講究成雙成對(duì)。美國(guó)人在收到禮物時(shí)，一定要馬上打開(kāi)，當(dāng)著送禮人的面欣賞或品嘗禮物，并立即道謝。另外，美國(guó)人的禮物重視包裝，很可能你收到一份里三層外三層精美包裝的禮物，打開(kāi)卻只能是幾顆巧克力糖而已，你也不要因此覺(jué)得失望，或者認(rèn)為美國(guó)人小氣，相對(duì)于禮物的價(jià)值，美國(guó)人更注重的是心意。

美國(guó)人辦事重效率，往往每天都有嚴(yán)格的計(jì)劃，因此去美國(guó)家庭作客都要提前預(yù)約，否則打亂了別人的計(jì)劃，就會(huì)被認(rèn)為是不速之客，吃閉門羹。所以應(yīng)該提前一兩天寫(xiě)信或打電話預(yù)約。一旦約定，就要準(zhǔn)時(shí)到達(dá)，不能遲到，也不要太早到，因?yàn)榭蛠?lái)之前，主婦都要布置客廳準(zhǔn)備茶點(diǎn)，如果去早了，主婦尚未準(zhǔn)備好，又要接待你，就造成許多不便。而那些規(guī)模較大的正式場(chǎng)合，守時(shí)更為重要，萬(wàn)一去早了，也應(yīng)在外面等幾分鐘后再進(jìn)去。

在進(jìn)門之前，應(yīng)該把鞋上的泥土擦干凈，以免弄臟地板。進(jìn)門后要摘帽。并把雨衣雨傘留在室外。然后先向女主人問(wèn)好，再向男主人問(wèn)好。若主人家賓朋滿座，只需與主人和相識(shí)者握手，對(duì)其他人點(diǎn)頭致意即可。如果主人請(qǐng)你坐，你就應(yīng)該馬上坐下，不要推托不坐下，也不要隨意翻動(dòng)主人的用品，更不可問(wèn)用品的價(jià)格。作客時(shí)，不要輕易吸煙，如想吸時(shí)應(yīng)問(wèn)在座的女士是否介意，并先向其他人敬煙。若主人向你敬煙，即使你自己有煙，也要接受主人的煙，這與中國(guó)人的習(xí)慣不同，中國(guó)人往往會(huì)因?yàn)榭蜌舛兴凭埽@在美國(guó)人眼里，他就會(huì)認(rèn)為你看不起他，而使朋友之間關(guān)系變壞。作客時(shí)間一般不宜過(guò)長(zhǎng)，但飯后不要立即告辭，應(yīng)再與主人攀談一會(huì)兒。若夫婦同去作客，應(yīng)由妻子先起立告辭。如果你與主人不太熟，作客后應(yīng)打電話或?qū)懚碳硪员碇x意。這樣美國(guó)人會(huì)認(rèn)為你很懂禮貌，從而留下一個(gè)好印象。

三、餐桌上的禮節(jié)。

在用餐時(shí)，應(yīng)等到全體客人面前都上了菜，且女主人示意后才開(kāi)始用餐。在女主人拿起她的勺子或叉子以前，客人不得食用任何一道菜。而中國(guó)人往往習(xí)慣一邊上菜一邊用餐，女主人往往是最后開(kāi)始坐下進(jìn)餐的。在用餐時(shí)，始終保持沉默在美國(guó)是不太禮貌的，但咀嚼食物時(shí)也不要講話，講話時(shí)不應(yīng)放下刀叉，但也不要拿著刀叉亂晃。在餐桌前不應(yīng)擤鼻涕或打嗝，如果打噴嚏或咳嗽也應(yīng)向周圍的人道歉。取菜時(shí)，最好每樣都取一點(diǎn)，這樣會(huì)使女主人愉快。用餐完畢后，女主人應(yīng)先離座，客人再一起隨著離開(kāi)，餐巾放在桌上，不要照原來(lái)的樣子折起，除非主人請(qǐng)你留下吃下頓飯。

在席間，主人應(yīng)使談話始終活潑而風(fēng)趣，使每個(gè)客人都不受冷落。主人的吃飯速度不可太快，如果多數(shù)人已吃完，而少數(shù)人尚未吃完，更應(yīng)放慢速度，以免使客人感到不安。席間，客人將刀叉掉在地上，應(yīng)禮貌地為其換一把。若客人不慎將盤(pán)碗打碎，女主人應(yīng)鎮(zhèn)靜地收拾干凈，安慰客人，絕不能顯出不悅之色。最后，主人絕不能在客人面前計(jì)算請(qǐng)客的花費(fèi)。

四、服飾的禮儀

美國(guó)人的服裝以體現(xiàn)個(gè)性為主，很難從穿著上看出他們是富有還是貧窮，他們的身份地位如何。如果是一位穿著時(shí)髦筆挺西裝的男士，看上去似某大公司的老板，其實(shí)他可能是演藝界的藝員，甚至是一個(gè)美容美發(fā)師。穿著牛仔褲運(yùn)動(dòng)鞋舊T恤的，看似流浪漢，其實(shí)卻可能是一位不修邊幅的教授。因此，在美國(guó)，萬(wàn)萬(wàn)不可先敬羅衣后敬人。曾經(jīng)有美國(guó)外商來(lái)華，接待人員乍一見(jiàn)便以為那西裝筆挺的一定是老板要員，而忽視了一行人中的大胡子。雖然把熱情過(guò)多地傾瀉到了“西裝筆挺”上，還好，也沒(méi)冷落了“大胡子”。稍后，一介紹身份，方知道誰(shuí)是真正的老板，而那個(gè)“西裝筆挺”不過(guò)是雇員。因此在美國(guó)，穿得好的不一定有錢，穿得不好的不一定沒(méi)錢。若簡(jiǎn)單地以衣帽取人，不僅會(huì)主次不分，使自己陷入窘境，而且會(huì)讓美國(guó)人輕視。

雖然美國(guó)人穿著隨便，不像歐洲人這么講究，但在美國(guó)的穿著可謂“不怕穿破，不許穿錯(cuò)。”有許多場(chǎng)合，服飾有很嚴(yán)格的規(guī)定。例如，美國(guó)許多公司上班有專門設(shè)計(jì)訂做的制服，在律師樓和銀行上班的老板和職員們天天都是西裝筆挺，而且每日均需要換，若兩日相同，就容易被人誤會(huì)是個(gè)夜晚沒(méi)有回家更衣的人。再例如在美國(guó)舉辦各種宴會(huì)，往往在請(qǐng)柬上注明是否“黑領(lǐng)結(jié)”。如果注明了“黑領(lǐng)結(jié)”，男士則一定要穿無(wú)尾禮服，系黑色領(lǐng)結(jié)，女士必須穿晚禮服。這時(shí)，男士的長(zhǎng)條領(lǐng)帶，女士的褲裝都上不了臺(tái)面。如果沒(méi)有注明“黑領(lǐng)結(jié)”，而表示是“正式穿著”，那么西服就可以上場(chǎng)。如果寫(xiě)的是“白領(lǐng)”，表示要穿燕尾服，系白色領(lǐng)帶。因此什么宴會(huì)穿什么樣的衣服，是很有講究的。試想，如果在一個(gè)不怎么正式的場(chǎng)合，每個(gè)人都是一身短打扮，唯獨(dú)你一個(gè)人身著深黑筆挺的燕尾服；或者每一個(gè)都云鬟高挽，長(zhǎng)裙及地，唯獨(dú)你一人一襲T恤，這種巨大的不協(xié)調(diào)，你自己不覺(jué)得張狂，別人也會(huì)看著你在人堆里悠悠晃晃不像個(gè)東西。而且在美國(guó)，這是對(duì)宴客的主人大不敬的明確表示，主人也會(huì)因此對(duì)你感到厭惡，從而與你斷絕來(lái)往，這會(huì)是你的一大損失。因此注意場(chǎng)合與服裝的搭配在美國(guó)尤為重要。

總之，美國(guó)與中國(guó)之間有不少不同的交往習(xí)慣，同樣其它的西方國(guó)家，也有各自的文化習(xí)慣，因此在與外國(guó)人交往或者到別的國(guó)家去之前，了解對(duì)方國(guó)家的禮儀習(xí)慣是十分必要的，這不僅是對(duì)對(duì)方的尊重，也給自己帶來(lái)了便利，避免了不必要的麻煩與誤會(huì)，以便在多方競(jìng)爭(zhēng)中爭(zhēng)取主動(dòng)，并能取得良好的結(jié)果。

第五篇：中美家庭差異(英)

三 江 學(xué) 院

本科生畢業(yè)設(shè)計(jì)（論文）

題 目中美家庭差異對(duì)比

學(xué)院 英語(yǔ) 專業(yè) 學(xué)生姓名學(xué)號(hào) 指導(dǎo)教師職稱 指導(dǎo)教師工作單位

起訖日期 2016.11-2017.5

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS In doing this thesis, I have benefited from the presence of my teachers and my classmates.They generously helped me collect materials I needed and made many invaluable suggestions.I hereby extend my grateful thanks to them for their kind help, without which the thesis would not have been what it is now.Particularly, I am deeply indebted to(自己填老師名字), who guided me throughout the entire process of writing this thesis.Her standards of academic excellence have made my revision an exciting and gratifying experience.Furthermore, none of this would have been possible without the help of thoseindividuals and organizations hereafter mentioned with gratitude:(自己填大學(xué)名字), the university library and its staff.ABSTRACT Family is the basic unit of society, and family members of the rules of conduct, living habits often affect the formation of this family values.Family values are generally recognized, it gradually formed a prototype of the social value system.These national values also represent the image of the people of the country to a certain extent.China and the United States due to cultural traditions, ideas, social customs and other aspects of the differences led to the two countries in the family values of many differences.In the context of cross-cultural communication between China and the United States to compare family ethics, education, marriage, etc., correctly understand and understand the differences between family values between the two countries, to cross-cultural communication to remove obstacles.The core proposition of this paper is family values.It is well known that family values are the core of the cultural value research system, which plays a decisive role in the behavior of family members.And the family is the epitome of the socio-economic form, is the most basic unit of social composition, so the family members of the valuesdirectly affect their words and behavior in society, that is, the values of society as a whole depends largely on the family Values, it can be seen that the role of family values is very important.The impact of family valueson people is important because family values are the starting point for people to accept value education.Second, the family members of the values once formed, it will not easily change, it will exist for a long time, and even affect people's life.Therefore, the impact of family values on people is more far-reaching, broad and lasting.Third, family values are closely related to the development of society.Therefore, the study of family values is necessary and important.Based on the thinking of crossChinese and American family cultures.4.Differences between Chinese and American Families Values 4.1 The Values of Chinese Families

China's history is long, its deep heritage to the Chinese social form is very clear and difficult to change.Chinese society is a collectivist cultural group, the core value of individual behavioral interests must obey the collective interests, therefore, the behavior of family members to meet the collective interests of their loved ones.The most direct manifestation of Chinese family ethics is the strong clan concept.In the context of the ancient agricultural economy and society, most of the rural areas are homed with the same ethnic groups, clan or family organizations have the production, education and even self-defense functions, the family mayor, in accordance with the family management family members.Now, the development of economy and society makes the form of clan change, the clan split into a family, but the clan concept has been inherited, still stressed the harmony between different levels of family members.Strong hierarchical concepts and the traditional moral system makes the clan between the clan to strict compliance, such as the call must be accurate.Respect for the long and young people have been living in the family, the young people must respect the elders, daily life to the elders to please, respect for smoke, seat, let way, eat when sitting is also very particular about the elderly in his later years Need to be supported.Filial piety, raising children and other traditional concepts reflect the characteristics of Chinese families.A child in a family before the general situation is the need to live with their parents, and even after marriage and their parents live together is also affirmed and praised.Life contact in marriage is also very close, often together to eat, meet, in the Spring Festival and other important festivals will meet, greetings.This kind of spiritual contact and concern is a deep-rooted standard of Chinese family clan concept, often not with the social change, the development of the times and change.4.2 The Values of American Families The history of the United States is relatively short, as a new system from the British society split out of the country, it has before the traditional British classical social values, but more of a variety of cultural inclusion and recognition, and gradually formed a large fusion Of the nation.American society advocates the recognition of personal dignity, respect for human personality is the basic composition of its social value.The concept of family gradually formed in the family also makes the recognition of individual rights to the point where nothing is added.In the United States, both economic, political, and cultural are impacted by the principle of personality first, American family values are influenced by this principle.Therefore, in American society, often pay great attention to the cultivation of individual thinking, the collective concept is relatively lacking.From the American society to see the value of the composition of the family, you can understand that this family concept is individual-centered, respect for the individual on the first place.American children in adulthood, with independent ability, the family is independent of the individual, the young people will take the initiative to divorce from the original family, even in the major festivals did not meet the moral requirements, even if not family and Reunion is not condemned, which in a certain sense is respect for the individual's rights.Personal status is protected in a family, and the integrity of the family can not replace personal decisions.And in the family of their own relatives are more general terms, the title of the simplification is also to a certain extent, showing the recognition of social habits.China's respect for the class, the collective sense of identity makes in the decision-making of large things on the more consistent, more efficient transmission of information capabilities, but the personality has been a certain degree of repression;American concept too much respect for individuals, making the United States Collective concept is relatively weak, clan concept is not strong, some collective projects to be successful to do is relatively difficult.5.Differences in Family Education between China and America The family is the most important place for enlightenment education for children, and plays an important role in the development of good habits and the development of intelligence.Family education is the most important part of all the earliest education, it is the child's thinking mode and the formation of the world view of great significance.Deng Xiaoping once said: “The basis of national modernization in the talent, the basis of talent in education, education based on the family.” China is a country that attaches importance to family education, China's deep educational and cultural traditions contain excellent family education components.For thousands of years, many people in the field of family education hard work, accumulated a lot of fruitful results.The difference between Chinese and American educational concepts has always been the focus of discussion.In the family environment, we can significantly feel the impact of family ideas on the growth of children.Social environment mapping in the concept of family education, making the concept of family education in China and China have a huge difference.5.1 Family Education in China

Chinese education, we can see the phenomenon is often the child to comply with the teacher, the parents of the arrangements, conservative and objective accumulation of basic knowledge, divergent thinking is weak, the attitude of learning is also very obedient arrangements for elders, this compromise led to students Of stereotypes, sluggish, lack of creativity.In the family education, parents attach importance to the number of children, moral education, the traditional essence of Chinese culture to the modern society.In the formal education is often very important to the performance of the child, the academic performance as a good identification of a very important measure of the expectations of the child is very high, expect them to succeed, meteoric rise.This leads to the child's daily education is extremely strict, and will not consider the child's nature of the shape, not to find children grow up in line with their personality.Therefore, in China's education can often be extreme phenomena, there can be extreme genius, but also often caused by excessive pressure caused by tragedy.Chinese parents attach great importance to the social adaptability of education, they often in accordance with the established model to develop their children, but often overlooked from the child's physical and mental development characteristics to promote its growth.They look forward to their children have a bright future, more emphasis on academic tendencies, that the child as long as the results are good, what problems can be resolved.Whether the child in the future, whether to find a good career, whether in the good times through life, these are the purpose of parental education.Based on this expectation, many parents believe that the parents of the child's responsibility is to let them live better, parents give them how much happiness to give them how much happiness.If you can give children to create the most favorable living conditions, so hard and willing to.5.2 Family Education in America

American families place children's independence and autonomy in an important position, focusing on the ability of children to adapt to a variety of environments and to survive independently.They argue that the purpose of education is not to prepare a living, but to prepare for survival.What they emphasize is the value of shaping the mind, a value that is unrelated to utilitarian or occupation.Based on this concept, they attach great importance to the child's own exercise, such as labor training, will exercise, but the most fundamental is to adapt to a variety of hardships and training of labor ability.Through the labor, let the children from childhood to develop a sense of independence and love of labor habits.In the labor and hardships to overcome difficulties, temper the will, develop their own strengths, growth and talent, to develop hard, frugal good quality.They generally believe that the growth of children must rely on their own strength, so since childhood to focus on training their self-reliance and independent living ability.American family education is focused on the identity of the child's nature, giving children the freedom to judge the power of things.This psychological buffer makes the child in the learning process can accept a lot of innovative thinking, the child's education is not limited to basic education.Relative to the focus of Chinese education on basic education, the United States is more inclined to practice.American children's freedom of control over the weekend is far greater than the Chinese children.So we can see the Chinese children are in a pressure environment to come out, the United States children in the free and open space to learn things to judge and understanding.This practice of learning is more conducive to their integration into the community, but also give them a wide range of values to choose the face.The development of children in the American family education model is more comprehensive, which makes the children in the American family earlier self-reliance, early contact with the community, the vision is more open.Chinese children in the family, education is more conservative, lack of innovation in thinking, but the basic knowledge is very solid.American education of people-oriented, excessive human indulgence will produce a relatively weak basic education phenomenon.Two kinds of education only learn from each other, to find a suitable fit point in order to achieve the optimization of education.6.Conclusion

Under the influence of different cultural values of the two countries, China and the United States have significant differences in family values.In the traditional culture of China and the United States, Chinese families are mostly used for generations.US President Bill Clinton praised the Chinese family values.Indeed, thousands of years of Confucian culture created the obligations of family members in the Chinese family-a parental responsibility, mutual support and interdependence among family members;parental respect for children in American families , The child is very young to learn for their own American rights and mother fight.There are differences between Chinese and American family values.This kind of difference embodies the nationalities and regionalities.We can not simply summarize them with differences or fusion, but only analyze the commonness and characteristics of family values in different countries in different historical periods.Only by overcoming the prejudice of European and American cultural centers can help to deepen the understanding of the uniqueness and integrity of the national family culture and social culture in order to promote mutual understanding and exchange.Today, the traditional family values of China and the United States have been hit hard by the growing globalization, and have undergone tremendous changes.We can not say which family values are better.However, with the international exchange and cultural integration of the highly developed era, the Chinese family members of the independent consciousness and respect for the independence of the consciousness is strengthened, the US family will also promote family members to each other mutual cooperation and common development.We can not expect the perfect unity of Sino-American family values, and we expect to maximize the cost of integration of different family values.In a variety of different family values set up a bridge between the communication, so that the perception of another family values from unfamiliar to cognitive, but also by the recognition to recognition, and finally slowly blending through.Thus we can see that strengthening the study and research of family values in different cultural backgrounds is of great practical significance for us to engage in cross-cultural communication and build a harmonious society.References [1] Datesman, Maryanne, Joann, American Ways: An Introduction to American Culture ,published by Pearson Education, Inc.2005.[2] Bert N., Adams,Handbook of world families, Stage Publication Inc.2005.[3] Marvin B.Sussman, Handbook of marriage and the family, Plenum Press, 1998.[4] John Locke, Of Civil Government, Second Treatise, Chicago,Henry Regency Company，1999.[5] Schwab J J.Gray-Ice H.M., Family Functioning-The General Living Sytem Research Model, New York 233 Spring: Kluwer Academic/Plenum Pub1ishers, 2000.[6］孟小佳．論中美家庭在教育方式上的差異［J］．前沿，2010，(11): 193～ 195．

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