第一篇：TPO1.1獨(dú)立寫作求批改

TPO1.1

The professor has different opinions with material in reading passage about whether the company should offer the employee four-day work instead of five-day work.The professor opposite the mandatory policy about this.Firstly,In the reading,some think the employee work four-day can greatly improve the profits because after they have enough time for rest and the new employees undertake part of work,they are more altered and make less errors.however,the professor extremely disagree with this,saying new employeeneed to be trained before they work,which will cost much,in the meantime,more employees need more offices and computers ,the company have to spend money on equipments,as a result,it may cause high pressure not much profits.Secondly,in the reading,some think the short work time can help the country cut the unemployment,because the company need more workers to finish the whole products.on the contrast,the professor point out that the company would like to make those who work five days work longer to make up the work left behind because the peoplework five days.in this way,the unemployment wouldn't be decreasing.Thirdly,in the reading,some think people who have only four-day work may be have a much higher life quality,because they spend only a little of time ,but actually get more free time to rest and stay with family.but in the lecture,the professor claim that those who work less hours may have risk of lower of life quality, workingless time means earning less money and also damaging their images in their company,they would have less opportunity to be promoted in their future career,because the company prefer the worker work long hours to make more money for them.

第二篇：獨(dú)立寫作

我覺得我不管綜合寫作還是獨(dú)立寫作都是一樣的特點(diǎn)，那就是字?jǐn)?shù)足。綜合寫作要求是185-225，我每次必300+。獨(dú)立寫作要求300+我記得考場上我至少寫了500+。

獨(dú)立作文：450字以上

第一段陳述你的觀點(diǎn)，支持哪一方；第二、三、四段從三個(gè)方面論述你的觀點(diǎn)；最后一段總結(jié)一下，綜上所述，某某觀點(diǎn)是正確的。

獨(dú)立寫作的八股在于它的題目很固定，OG上給出了那幾百道例題 絕大部分題目是：

**和**相比，你覺得哪個(gè)更好/更合理？/你更支持哪個(gè)觀點(diǎn)？

一部分題目是：*******，你怎么辦？/你是怎么看的？

而這兩種其實(shí)是一種題目。如果題目沒有給你二選一的選項(xiàng)，我們要做的是把它轉(zhuǎn)化為二選一或者多選一，這么多選項(xiàng)你只要從中挑選一個(gè)，然后把這個(gè)和其他的相比較這篇文章你就搞定了

除了題目固定之外，寫作的手法同樣很固定。其實(shí)大家只要熟讀范文100篇，不會(huì)背書也能寫。具體的方法就是在論壇找到那誰誰誰的185篇滿分作文，挑選其中你覺得寫的不錯(cuò)的把其中鋪墊的句型，轉(zhuǎn)換詞挑出來，背一背，背多了你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)所有的滿分作文其實(shí)是一個(gè)套路出來的流水線作品（除極少數(shù)作文）。流水線作文誰不會(huì)寫呢？那滿分作文其實(shí)很簡單的！

第三篇：雅思寫作批改實(shí)例

今天上海環(huán)球雅思老師俞偉國為大家?guī)硪环菅潘紝懽髦嫒苏嫖陌嵘蠠赡?雅思作文完全點(diǎn)評(píng)，希望考生們在看完這篇文章之后對(duì)雅思寫作思路及結(jié)構(gòu)構(gòu)思有所幫助。

Topic: Children who grow up in families without large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with problems in their adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents.Do you agree or disagree?

Recently, the problem of how to cultivate the children’s abilities has become a hot issue in society.(第一句話就有問題，the problem of......has become a hot issue,翻譯成中文就是“一個(gè)......的問題如今已經(jīng)成為了一個(gè)......的問題”，而且problem用在這里也有問題，必須正確區(qū)分 question, problem和issue三者的區(qū)別，這里how to cultivate children'sabilities 不應(yīng)該是一個(gè)problem,因?yàn)閜roblem用在這里含義就跟trouble差不多。)

Most people thought(這里為什么用過去時(shí)？過去時(shí)說明人們以前這么想，現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)不這么想了)that children who were born

in poorer families can deal(+with)problems better than those who were born with a silver in their mouthes(應(yīng)該是with a spoon with silver in the mouth吧？即便如此這種說法也有中式英語之嫌，不推薦使用).However, I want to claim that one’s ability is not associate(d)with his/her family circumstance, whatever(應(yīng)該用 nomatter)it’s rich or not, but it depends on his/her education level, environment as well as personality.(這里應(yīng)該直接而明確地表明你的觀點(diǎn)作為statement，即出生窮人家的孩子未必處理問題就強(qiáng)于富人家的孩子。Topic當(dāng)中問的是“do you agree or disagree”，你首先要明確回答此問題，這就是評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)當(dāng)中的Task Response!)

(一上來第一段語言問題就不少，再次強(qiáng)調(diào)：一定要注意第一段，尤其是第一段第一句的正確性，絕對(duì)不要冒險(xiǎn)使用自己沒有完全把握的詞匯和句型。像本文的第一段考官看到這里，不用看后面的內(nèi)容，基本上已經(jīng)預(yù)判為5分檔的文章了。)

First of all, one’s education level is the(不用加the)essential to deal with problems.In his/her studying period, he/shehas learned plenty of knowledge of culture and manners from their teachers.He/She should know how to treat withhappenings in decent language and behaviour.There are many vivid instances you can see in the daily life.A simpleexample, a well educated man who wears simple cloth(穿著簡單的布？)

stepped on another man’s foot unguardedly incrowded subway station, the latter who is dressed modern and decorated with jewelry shout abuse after the former apologized obliging.It’s a so ugly picture.(完全偏題的例子，這個(gè)例子只能說明一個(gè)人的素質(zhì)和衣著無關(guān)，而你這一段的分論點(diǎn)是“一個(gè)人的教育背景和能力無關(guān)”，這是一個(gè)嚴(yán)重的扣分點(diǎn)！)

Moreover, one’s living environment is also an important element.If one lives in a complicated situation that(is)full ofinferior people who are tyrannized, he/she must be influenced to settle cases in a rude way.On the contrary, if a personlives with high level friends who do everything

considered and patiently, he/she would copy their merits to let the problem down gently.(同樣，這一段的內(nèi)容和主題“窮人家的孩子處理問題未必就強(qiáng)于富人家的孩子”沒有直接的因果關(guān)系，即分論點(diǎn)無法證明主題。可以用我上課講過的檢驗(yàn)分論點(diǎn)是否偏題的方法“驗(yàn)算”一下：因?yàn)椤碍h(huán)境很重要”，所以“窮人家的孩子處理問題未必強(qiáng)于富人家的孩子”，does it make sense?)

At the end but not the least(有這種說法嗎？請(qǐng)不要自己發(fā)明創(chuàng)造一些英語當(dāng)中不存在的表達(dá)方法), one’s personality decidesone’s ability.The psychologist said that one’s ability of solving the matters what(what多余！)happened in life is(+in)direct ratio with his/her optimistic orpessimistic personality.It is said that the optimistic person are more likely to communicate with others than pessimistic group.Good communication skill is a necessary and vital competence in(in多余！)nowadays.Why there are many wars in the world that charge upon bad communication between countries.(這句話完全不知所云，既然是why開頭的應(yīng)該是問句嘍？為什么又是句號(hào)結(jié)尾的呢？)So, in the(the多余)conclusion, whether one can become a marvelously able person is not basic（based）on the financial standar(standard)of family but other

qualifications.總評(píng)： 這篇文章最大的問題在于主題與論證的邏輯關(guān)系，作者的主題是“一個(gè)人的能力不是由家庭出生而是由其他因素決定的”，然后分論點(diǎn)寫的都是具體有哪些哪些“其他因素”，但問題在于我們要論證的到底是什么？這里作者遺漏了非常重要的一個(gè)部分，即“為什么個(gè)人能力不是由家庭出生所決定的”，這才應(yīng)該是本文論證的重點(diǎn)！然而遺憾的是對(duì)于這個(gè)最關(guān)鍵的部分作者在文中幾乎沒有涉及，從而構(gòu)成在Task response這一項(xiàng)評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)上的致命失分！此外全文的語言使用也存在不少問題。因此雖然可以看出作者其實(shí)還是有一定語言功底的，但由于前述的兩項(xiàng)關(guān)鍵性缺失(Task Response和Language Errors)，本文只能得4.5分。

以上就是上海環(huán)球雅思小編今天為大家?guī)У难潘紝懽鲀?nèi)容~請(qǐng)大家繼續(xù)關(guān)注我們，每天都有更新哦！有其他資源信息需要的同學(xué)可以登陸上海環(huán)球雅思的官方網(wǎng)站自助查詢，也有資深的老師隨時(shí)問你提供服務(wù)~

第四篇：TPO1 獨(dú)立寫作

TPO-1 Independent writing task

At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.范文為博主根據(jù)考生習(xí)作修訂而成，為博主和考生的共同原創(chuàng)作品，轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)務(wù)必注明出處謝謝！

博主修訂作文的原則為：忠實(shí)原文和充分考慮作者原有水平，簡約、實(shí)用、易模仿。所以追求華麗文風(fēng)的同學(xué)請(qǐng)繞道。

如果有同學(xué)需要作文批改潤色服務(wù)，可聯(lián)系博主

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Some people claim that universities and colleges should not spend a great deal of money on sports and social activities, as their budgets should prioritize classes and libraries.However, as educational institutions, universities and colleges have an obligation to provide a wide range of knowledge to their students to help them develop academically and socially.More and more businesses require people who are not only specialists in their fields, but also skilled in social interaction.In the rapidly changing environments of science and the economy, no task can be done by a single person.Given the need for collaboration, social skills and team spirit are necessary qualities for any successful person.Clearly, sports and social activities in universities and colleges provide students with the perfect settings to practice their social skills.By playing football on a team or joining in a protest, for instance, students can develop a sense of belonging and experience team spirit, both of which may prove very important in building a career.Aside from fostering social skills and team spirit, sports and social activities can greatly improve students’ efficiency.Students need not play sports or participate in social activities at the expense of their academic study.Indeed, for some students, playing sports and joining in social activities are good stress reducers.Even the most enthusiastic people feel tired if they concentrate on one thing for too long.Frustrated and tired people can do nothing well if they do not recover from their bad situations.Students who have been frustrated in their academic work would be well-advised to play some sports or join in social activities.Academic education will always be at the heart of a university.In universities, sports and social activities should by no means take the place of a focus on academic study.What I believe is that universities and colleges should spend adequate money on academics as well as sports and social activities.For instance, in the United States, almost all famous universities have plenty of sports teams and social groups, and universities provide adequate financial support with these events.None of these universities have weakened their academic standards because of social movements or sports.For these reasons, I maintain that universities and colleges should spend enough money on academic education and social movements to prepare students for their future development.playing computer games can expand a child’s outlook.Some computer games that can be played on the Internet were devised by foreign companies.Playing these games gives children an excellent opportunity to communicate with “game friends” from all over the world, allowing them to learn about other countries and cultures.____________________________________________________________________________

附原稿（修訂前）：

Some people claim that universities and colleges are not supposed to spend much money on sports and social activities and their budgets should be focus on classes and libraries.But in fact, as educational institutions, universities and colleges do have the obligation to provide wide range of knowledge to their students, both academically and socially.It’s not uncommon today that more and more business require talents who are specialists in both their fields and social lives because with the amazing race of development of science and economy, no task could be done by a single one.Therefore, social skills and team spirit are necessary qualities for a successful man.Clearly, sports and social activities in universities and colleges provide students with a perfect environment to practice their social skills.By playing football with a team or joining in a protest parade, students could feel the sense of belonging and share the team spirits, which are very important in their future career.Aside from social skills and team spirit, sports and social activities could greatly improve study efficiency of students.Playing sports or joining in some social activities does not mean students would do this at the expense of their academic study.Quite the opposite, to some students, playing sports or joining in the social activities is a good stress reducer for their tension of study.Even though the most enthusiastic people would feel tired if he concentrated on one thing for a very long time.Frustrated and tired people would do nothing well if they do not recover from the bad situation.As a result, students who have been frustrated by academic study would be well-advised to play some sports or joining in some social activities in order to improve their study efficiency.Meanwhile, academic education lied at the heart of the universities.The emphasis on sports and social activities in universities could, by no means, take place of the focus on academic study.What I insist is universities and colleges should spend enough money on both academy and sports or social activities.For instance, in the U.S, almost all famous universities have plenty of sports teams and social groups, and universities provide adequately financial support with these events.None of these universities weaken their academic education because of social movements or sports.For those reasons, I would like to say that universities and colleges should spend enough money on academic education and social movements in order to prepare students for their future development.

第五篇：20140316獨(dú)立寫作

【題目】：

It is easier to be well-educated today than it is in the past.現(xiàn)在受教育比過去容易。

【范文】：

Slogan:“Economy matters a lot and education pays off in the long run.” With these words in mind, it is easier as well as more rewarding for people to get an education now than in the past.Obviously, both the recent economic improvements and the future economic successes are factors that contribute to making more people better educated for higher employability and better wages.To start with, education in modern society is meant to be beneficial to as many persons as possible rather than to just a lucky few ones.In this sense, it may partly be the fruits of the dramatic economic changes in the past decades, and partly the reflection that the ability to read and write is more demanding these days.Therefore, in order to educate more people to meet the forth-coming economic challenges, new schools and colleges are being established and old ones are being expanded.The logic is simple.The more economy develops, the more investments there are in education, and the easier it is for people to become better educated.The significance of education in today's economy reveals the big picture that education at all levels is largely available, even though sometimes higher education may not be entirely affordable.That picture supports the correlation between educational attainment and employment potentials.Although an education has always been an advantage, it is more valuable now than before.The panorama is like a virtuous cycle brought about by the economic improvements along with better living standards.The more people are educated, the better are their chances of getting hired, and the more likely they are to earn more, which in turn makes it easier for them to send their children to and through university education.Further, as the job market has become more competitive with each passing decade, the number of people with bachelor's degrees or higher has increased.Likewise, it is evident that as the economic rewards continue to increase, so will the number of people seeking those rewards, of course.In the context of the economic improvements and economic rewards, an education has not only been valuable but also has become easily accessible.When it comes to combining money and learning, more is better and better is more;so people now are easier to become educated.Paradoxically, for that matter, just as the causes may lead to the effects, the effects may also lead to the causes.