第一篇：英語三人短劇__搞笑

顧客：小心，你的大拇指在我湯里了 服務員：別擔心，先生，不是很燙！

A : Watch out!Your thumbs in my soup!B: Don't worry Sir it's not that hot!一個服務員給顧客拿來了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。

“你瘋了嗎？”顧客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！” “什么？”服務員說，“你想讓它再掉地上？”

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.A:Are you crazy?(yelled the customer),with your hand on my steak?(What answers the waiter)You want it to fall on the floor again? 服務員：茶或咖啡？先生。第一個顧客：我要茶

第二個顧客：我也是茶——杯子要干凈的！服務員：兩杯茶，哪個要干凈的杯子？ B:(Waiter:)Tea or coffee gentlemen? A:I'll have tea.C:(2nd customer:)Me too-and be sure the glass is clean!(Waiter exits returns)B:(Waiter:)Two teas.Which one asked for the clean glass? 創新句子：我堅持用干凈杯子喝茶。服務員，這只蒼蠅在我湯里干什么？ 看起來象是在仰泳，A:Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup? Um looks to me to be backstroke sir...服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

別擔心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛會干掉它。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!B:Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.服務員，我湯里有只蒼蠅！

不是，先生，那是蟑螂，蒼蠅在你牛排里。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!C:No sir that's a cockroach the fly is on your steak.服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

別讓別人看見，先生，要不別人都要。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!B:Keep it down sir or they'll all be wanting one.服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

我知道，先生，我們沒有另收錢。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!C:Its OK Sir there's no extra charge!服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

對不起，先生，我弄走那三個時忘了這個。A:Waiter there is a fly in my soup!

B:Sorry sir maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.服務員，湯里有只死蒼蠅！

是的，先生，是開水殺死了它們。

A:Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup!C:Yes sir it's the hot water that kills them.話劇前半部分是荊珂刺秦王搞笑英語話劇劇本

（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：

Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(畫外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!太子丹高興狀)Thank u mirror!（面對觀眾）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister? 阿三(畢恭畢敬): Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作殺狀）太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀最需要的是什么，人才！這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀）Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時的音樂）荊軻Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荊軻OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me? 荊軻Off course!聳聳肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音樂起兩人沖上前來“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。?！崩钅畹沟厍G軻大笑李莫愁痛苦狀：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?（贏一個人需要理由

么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.荊軻再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荊柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?

羊肉串和納稅人（英文小品）

Characters: Mr.Shi, Xiaofu, Dabao Mr.Shi: Tax is the major source of the fiscal revenue.There is an evident change about the relationship between the tax collector and taxpayer in the past 20 years.Now, the tax collector, Xiaofu, and the tax payer Dabao, a vendor selling Yangrouchuan will show you the very change.The first Act happened in 1980s.Act I(in Bazaar of Beijing, sanlihe, 1980s)Dabao: Yangrouchuan , yangrouchuan, eaten one ,want nine, eaten one, want nine.Hi, Take my yangrouchuan.(slipped, take it up,)Xiaofu: Tax!Pay the tax!Dabao:(change faces)Taxi? Where is the taxi? Here’s no taxi.Xiaofu: Tax!T---A---X!Dabao: What’s the tax? I just know taxi!Do you want me to call a taxi for you? Taxi----!Taxi----!Xiaofu: Enough!Are you the vendor? Dabao: No , No, No, no!I 'm just have a look.The vendor has gone to the toilet.Xiaofu: Not the vendor ? Impossible!you 've been here for 2 hours.Dabao: Really ?(Xiaofu: Yes, of course.)How do you know it? Xiaofu: The window of my office is open to here and I 've been looking at you for two hours.Dabao: It’s a big bug!

Xiaofu: Oh.Don’t waste my time!Please pay the tax----10 Yuan!

Dabao: 10 yuan?!My god.I had just earned 20 Yuan one day!5 Yuan, ok? Xiaofu: Don't cheat me, you've sold more than 2 hundred ones.Dabao: 6yuan, my dear sisiter.7Yuan, my lovely beauty.Dabao: Not for you ,not for me, let's split the difference.8 yuan ,ok ? Xiaofu:(looking around)All right ,a deal.But no receipt.(Dabao payed 8 yuan and Xiaofu left)Dabao: What a smart woman!Bad luck!I’m bankrupt.I have to change my place.Hope I would not meet her any more!Let’s go!Act II Mr.Shi: The next scene happened in new century.China had been marching in the way of the market economy for twenty years more, in the new era of building the well-off society in an all-round way, how do the vendor regard tax as and how is the tax collected? The scene will tell you.Let’s enjoy it!

(In the market;Dabao in white clothes ,a board with “NO SARS”)Dabao:: Yangrouchuan, yangrouchuan.Eaten one, want nine.Eaten one, want nine.Xiaofu: Hi, Dabao: Hi.Two: What a familiar face.Two: It’s you!

Dabao: 10 years past, you are a still a tax collector.Xiaofu: 10 years past, you still sell Yangrouchuan.How is your business? Dabao: Everything is OK!10 years past, you are still beautiful lady in Sanlihe of Beijing.Xiaofu: 10 years past, you and your Yangrouchuan look more clean than 20 years before.Dabao: Thank you.No SARS, no dirtiness;Serve people, serve me.Xiaofu: Great!Have you??

Dabao: Married? I ‘m not married;I’m still single.Xiaofu: Have you claimed your tax this month? Dabao: What? Taxi? Oh, tax!Of course.I should pay the tax of 50 Yuan this month and I have claimed at the begin of this month.Xioafu: Your receipt, please.Dabao:(shows the receipt)Here you are, I have paid my tax in the tax service center by computer.Xiaofu: Great!What a good taxpayer you are.Dabao: Thank you.It is my duty.I’m proud of myself to pay the tax for our country.Xiaofu: Yeah!The tax you paid is a share of our country’s economy, and you do a lot for Olympics of Beijing!Dabao: Let’s do it together!.It’s said that, Don't ask what your country can do for you but ask what you can do for your country.Just like me, sell Yangrouchuan, and pay the Tax for ten years more.Xiaofu: You 're the loveliest people in new century!Dabao: Thank you!And you 're the loveliest tax collector in new era!X: Excuse me, and I have to go now.Bye-bye.D: A moment, are you free tomorrow evening? Could I have a dinner with you? Xiaofu: Well, may I have the company of my husband? Dabao: No, no, no problem.6 o’clock in the evening, Beichuanyuan, ok? Xiaofu: just a kidding.I have to go home now.(leaves)Dabao, See you tomorrow.Dabao: Hope to see you everyday.The End

第二篇：英語三人短劇 搞笑

顧客：小心，你的大拇指在我湯里了 服務員：別擔心，先生，不是很燙！

A : Watch out!Your thumbs in my soup!B: Don't worry Sir it's not that hot!一個服務員給顧客拿來了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。

“你瘋了嗎？”顧客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！” “什么？”服務員說，“你想讓它再掉地上？”

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.A:Are you crazy?(yelled the customer),with your hand on my steak?(What answers the waiter)You want it to fall on the floor again? 服務員：茶或咖啡？先生。第一個顧客：我要茶

第二個顧客：我也是茶——杯子要干凈的！服務員：兩杯茶，哪個要干凈的杯子？ B:(Waiter:)Tea or coffee gentlemen? A:I'll have tea.C:(2nd customer:)Me too-and be sure the glass is clean!(Waiter exits returns)B:(Waiter:)Two teas.Which one asked for the clean glass? 創新句子：我堅持用干凈杯子喝茶。服務員，這只蒼蠅在我湯里干什么？ 看起來象是在仰泳，A:Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup? Um looks to me to be backstroke sir...服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

別擔心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛會干掉它。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!B:Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.服務員，我湯里有只蒼蠅！

不是，先生，那是蟑螂，蒼蠅在你牛排里。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!C:No sir that's a cockroach the fly is on your steak.服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

別讓別人看見，先生，要不別人都要。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!B:Keep it down sir or they'll all be wanting one.服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

我知道，先生，我們沒有另收錢。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!C:Its OK Sir there's no extra charge!服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

對不起，先生，我弄走那三個時忘了這個。A:Waiter there is a fly in my soup!

B:Sorry sir maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.服務員，湯里有只死蒼蠅！

是的，先生，是開水殺死了它們。

A:Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup!C:Yes sir it's the hot water that kills them.

第三篇：英語短劇(三人)搞笑

改編自《兩小兒辯日》(J:Jack P:Petter S:stranger)

獨白：The story happened in a sunny day.Two friends meet each other.J:Hi,nice to see you,Petter.P:Nice to see you,Jack.It`s a good day ,isn`t it? J:Yeah,I like sunny days.P:Look,what`s this? J:Oh,it`s our luck day.It`s 100 dollar.P:Yes, it is.So what should we do to the money?Give it to uncle police? J:I don`t think so.I suggest one of us can have it.Since it is in my hand,so…

P:No ,I don`t think so.I think I find it first,I am the person that who should have the money.J:Look at that person.Why don`t we ask him to judge it for us.P:I agree.J:Hello,could you please do us a favour? S:Ofcourse.What`t up? J:Here is the thing,……

S:Isee.It`s really a hard question.Let me think.en…OK,I get an idea.Now I`ll give you one question and the one who can give the correct answer that can have the money.What do you think? P:Why not.J:Let do it.S:Now you must listen to me carefully.Look at the sun,it`s beautiful isn`t it?And it`s very far from us.So my question is when is the sun farther away from us,in the morning or at noon?You first.P:It`s easy.As we can see,in the morning the sun is very big and at noon it become smaller.So,the answer is at noon J:That is the most stupid answer I have ever heard.As we can feel ,in the morning it`s cool and at noon it`ll be very hot.That is because the sun is farther away from us at morning.爭吵

S：OK.Stop.Stop.As a matter of fact,each of your answer is incorrect.I think the range is the same.P:Are you crazy?Let me tell you something?(到一邊，拿出50美元)If you make me win,it`s yours.S:(think for a while).It`s a deal.(回到原地)I am sorry,I made a mistake just now.I`ll correct my answer.Petter is right.The answer is at noon.J:What?We need to talk.(拉路人到一邊)I did not catch your mean clearly.Could you say it again? S:The sun isfarther away from usat noon.So you are wrong.J:(打過路人)Did you change your mind? S:No…Oh yes.You are right.Obviously,he was wrong.(一起回去)P：What`s wrong with your face? J:清嗓子

S:I just fall over by accident,nevermind.And let`s go back to the question ,I think it over and over again.Finally I believe Jack is right.You were wrong.J:(Jack從petter手中搶過錢)Then it`s mine.(kiss it)It`s nice to meet you ,petter.Goodbye.P:What?Don`t go.(jack下)What`s wrong with you? S:I `m sorry,Ijust…..J:Give me my money,now.(路人拿出錢，jack一把搶過來，生氣地走了)S：（jack走后，路人掏掏口袋發現）Where is my own 100 dollar.Give me my money.(追jack)完

第四篇：英語三人短劇--搞笑

A：第一個顧客 B：服務員 C：第二個顧客 顧客：小心，你的大拇指在我湯里了 服務員：別擔心，先生，不是很燙！

A : Watch out!Your thumbs in my soup!B: Don't worry Sir it's not that hot!一個服務員給顧客拿來了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。“你瘋了嗎？”顧客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！” “什么？”服務員說，“你想讓它再掉地上？” A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.A:Are you crazy?(yelled the customer),with your hand on my steak?(What answers the waiter)You want it to fall on the floor again? 服務員：茶或咖啡？先生。第一個顧客：我要茶

第二個顧客：我也是茶——杯子要干凈的！服務員：兩杯茶，哪個要干凈的杯子？ B:(Waiter:)Tea or coffee gentlemen? A:I'll have tea.C:(2nd customer:)Me too-and be sure the glass is clean!(Waiter exits returns)B:(Waiter:)Two teas.Which one asked for the clean glass? 創新句子：我堅持用干凈杯子喝茶。服務員，這只蒼蠅在我湯里干什么？ 看起來象是在仰泳，A:Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup? Um looks to me to be backstroke sir...服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

別擔心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛會干掉它。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!B:Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.服務員，我湯里有只蒼蠅！

不是，先生，那是蟑螂，蒼蠅在你牛排里。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!C:No sir that's a cockroach the fly is on your steak.服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

別讓別人看見，先生，要不別人都要。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!B:Keep it down sir or they'll all be wanting one.服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

我知道，先生，我們沒有另收錢。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!C:Its OK Sir there's no extra charge!

服務員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

對不起，先生，我弄走那三個時忘了這個。A:Waiter there is a fly in my soup!B:Sorry sir maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.服務員，湯里有只死蒼蠅！

是的，先生，是開水殺死了它們。

A:Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup!C:Yes sir it's the hot water that kills them.

第五篇：三人英語小短劇

三人小短劇

主角：兩女一男，男的飾演寧采臣穿越而來，兩女是好朋友其中一人是小倩轉世而來。永：morning，candy.蟲：morning,Cassie。

永：what's wrong with you.you looks so pale.蟲：i were watching tv all the night.永：what did you watch ? 蟲：Have you heard of the prevalent Time-travel TV series “Bu Bu Jing Xin” ? 永：oh

I love it so much.the actress are beautiful, their dressing is great.蟲：me too.if you have a chance ,which dynasty do you want to transported to ? 永：of course.song dynasty.I“d like to protect our country.and let citizen have a easy living.蟲：what a great ideal!

永：but it is so ridiculous.we won't have chance to transported.蟲：i don‘t agree with you.everything is possible.男的破門而入

男：what happened ?where i am ?where my sweetheart xiaoqian? xiaoqian? xiaoqian? Where are you ?

繞教室跑下去,問班上的眾人

who are you ? Where i am ? all of you look so strange!What happened? Tell me ,who can tell me ?

永：look at that guy！he looks so amusing!蟲：What happened to he? 永：you see.his hair is so long.style is strang,the dressing likes acient people.蟲：wow ,is he transported 永：no ,it's impossible.蟲：look!he is getting close to us.男：young ladies.i'm so glad to meet you here.You are familiar to me!oh god!”xiaoqian" why are you here ? i'm looking for you all the time.原本慢慢走近，最后疾步坐過去抓住女的的肩膀。蟲：do you know me ？ I have no memory about you.男：what? you forgot me ? Xiaoqian ,i am ningcaichen.永永把我拉過去，和男的開始談話

永：are you kidding ?we have never see you.there must be something wrong with you.男：i'm pretty normal.xiaoqian ,look at me and talk to me.i can’t believe you've forgot me.even if you wear different clothing and everything looks strange ,i still remember your face ,your beautiful smile.蟲：gentleman ,listen to me carefully.i am not xiaoqian.my name is candy.and i do not know why you wear so different ,maybe you are playing a Time-travel TV series or it is just a program.now ,game is over.we have to go.男：no no.xiaoqian ,i do not know what you say.but i am not joking at you.此時雷雨大作，閃電劈了下來，小倩記起來了。未完待續。