第一篇：離職演說

一、思想政治工作落實不到位。具體表現在，一是重業務工作，輕政治工作，尤其在基層單位存在重防火滅火等業務工作，忽視了政治工作的重要性。出現了談起來重要，干起來次要，忙起來不得了的問題。二是政工干部不被重視，工作任務重，待遇低，很多同志不愿意到政工崗位上工作。三是政工干部配備不齊，兼職過多責任不清，根本原因在于對政治工作的作用認識不清，對消防部隊中思想政治工作的首要性認識不足。

二、思想政治工作與實際聯系不夠緊密。一是調查研究不及時、不深入、情況掌握不清。有的新情況、新問題，有的官兵想什么、做的什么

同志們：

剛才，省局××副局長宣布了××市地稅局領導班子變動情況的決定，并代表省局作了重要講話，提出了殷切期望。首先，我對省局的安排表示衷心的擁護！同時對××*同志的任職表示最良好的祝賀！

××年的隆冬時節我來到這里，而今即將伴著和煦的春風離去，已過不惑之年的我就要揮別這曾經工作過的地方，即將踏上人生新的征程。此時此刻，我的心情很不平靜，回顧過去的一年，這幾日我輾轉難眠，有太多的感慨和留戀，依依不舍之情常常浮現在眼前。這里有我朝夕相處的同事，有給予我無私幫助的朋友，有關懷愛護我的各級領導，有以大局為重支持理解我的同志們，借此機會，我要向你們致以誠摯的謝意！謝謝你們！

一年零四個月的時間轉瞬即逝了，直到這時我才真正理解了來去匆匆的內涵，雖然區區一年不過是漫漫人生旅途中的彈指一揮間，但這里良好的環境，樸實的局風，真摯的情感，熱情的同志，都給我留下了永不磨滅的印象。在××*市這片大有希望的熱土上，我度過了值得終生回憶的無悔歲月，也為××市地稅事業的發展貢獻了一份微薄之力，與同志們一道見證了××市地稅局的發展壯大，使我這并非土生土長的××人對這里充滿了濃濃的鄉情?！叭朔遣菽?，孰能無情”，如今將要離去，真可謂“別有一番滋味在心頭”！但是我想，無論走到哪里，今后，××市都將是我魂牽夢繞的地方，我將時常想起它。即使在今天此時此刻，我每每想起同志們對我工作的大力支持和個人的鼎力相助，我就深受感動，并將永志不忘！

在過去的工作中，作為市局一把手，在班子成員的支持下，我盡最大的努力，做了一些有利于全局、有利于同志們的事情，有一些還在實施之中，有一些沒能夠實現，我也倍感遺憾！尤其是“人非圣賢、誰能無過”，我在工作中，肯定會有一些事情，難以做到恰到好處，雖然我講原則重感情，但由于對工作要求過嚴、過急，難免會傷害一些同志的情感和自尊，在此我深表謙意懇請諒解！我相信，同志們都能從工作角度對我個人和我的工作給予理解，謝謝你們！

“人生自古傷別離”，工作的需要不以我個人的意志為轉移，我要遵照省局安排，離開我曾經生活和工作過的地方，離開與我并肩戰斗的同志們。雖然離開了這里和大家，但我會一如既往地關心××市地稅事業的發展，關注同志們的成長和進步。我相信只要同志們攜手并肩，真抓實干，以××同志為首的新一屆領導班子一定會率領大家開創××市地稅局更加輝煌的明天。我也衷心祝愿呂玉敏同志在××市地稅局工作順利、生活愉快！最后讓我把各種情感匯集成對同志們的良好祝愿！祝同志們身體永遠健康，家庭幸福和睦，萬事順心如意！請大家在路過或者去××市辦事時到我家里做客，我會熱情地接待你們！謝謝同志們！您正在中國教育文摘查看《在離職告別會上的講話》

第二篇：市委書記離職演說

XX市委書記離職演說

這次組織上安排我到國家安監總局工作，我堅決擁護中央和省委的決定。因為我深深地知道，個人的命運是由國家、民族和人民的命運所決定的，個人的作用只有依附、融合于黨和人民事業的發展中才能得以發揮。我個人工作的變動，這不僅是中央和省委對我的培養、信任和關懷，更重要的是它體現了中央、省委對XX工作的肯定、對XX領導班子的肯定、對XX干部隊伍的肯定，體現了中央、省委對XX事業的高度重視、大力支持和關心厚愛。

物換星移十度逝，X河XX情悠悠。1997年6月，我被任命為當時的XX市X縣縣委常委、X鎮黨委書記，從那個時候起，轉眼我已和在座的很多同志們朝夕相處了十年的時間。伴隨著離別日子的到來，我的心情也越來越難抑平靜。十年來，XX的山山水水，XX的父老鄉親，XX的廣大干部和一起奮斗的事業，時刻縈繞在我心頭、浮現在我眼前，一幅幅畫卷、一幕幕場景，是那么的清晰，那么的難忘，那么的令我眷戀。這十年，對XX來說，是得到中央和省委、省政府機遇垂青、倍加呵護、傾力扶持的十年，是得到外界高度關注、評論議論、終成共識的十年，是經過頑強打拼、擺脫窘境、奠定基礎、加速崛起的十年。十年中，我先后在縣、市兩級主要領導崗位上工作，中間還曾去省委辦公廳和外交部掛職。

如果說工作上取得了一些成績，這主要歸功于中央和省委、省政府的正確領導，歸功于很多老領導、老同志打下的良好基礎，歸功于與我合作共事的領導班子全體成員的緊密配合，歸功于全市廣大干部和416萬XX人民的大力支持。借此機會，我向長期以來關心、支持、理解、信任和幫助過我的各級領導、離退休老同志、駐XX部隊、公安干警、武警官兵、各民主黨派、工商聯、社會各界人士和XX的父老鄉親及外埠XX老鄉，表示崇高的敬意和衷心的感謝！

在XX工作的十年時間里，我由衷地感謝中央和省委、省政府的深切關懷……我會永遠銘記心頭，永久為之感動。在XX工作的十年時間里，我真誠地感謝全市廣大干部的鼎力支持。這十年，是我人生中難忘的一段歲月，是我事業中寶貴的一段經歷，是我工作中愉快的一段光陰。XX的干部有很高的政治覺悟和政策水平，是一支講政治、顧大局、能干事、會干事、干成事的好隊伍。他們平凡而偉大，是XX發展和進步的脊梁。十年來，我們每一項決策的形成，每一項工作的順利推進，都體現著領導班子全體成員的團結協作，凝聚著廣大干部的共同努力，承度著老領導、老同志的傳、幫、帶。十年來，我與廣大干部從不相識到相識、相知、相勉，大家朝夕相處，同甘共苦，風雨同舟，為著XX的發展、人民的幸福，一起擔負責任、承受壓力，一起殫精竭慮、用力使勁，一起加班熬夜、通宵達旦，一起分享喜悅、慶祝成功。共同的事業、共同的目標和共同的奮斗，使我們成為很好的同志、同事和朋友，這種情誼將是我一生中最為寶貴的財富，這種志同道合的同志之情比手足之情要珍貴得多，這種真誠質樸的同志之誼比金蘭之義要高尚得多。我將倍加珍視并永遠記住在XX工作的這段美好時光，倍加珍視并永遠記住各位同志的支持幫助，倍加珍視并永遠記住與XX同事結下的深情厚誼……

在燕大讀書時，我就一直喜歡艾青先生的詩句：“為什么我的眼里常含淚水？因為我對這土地愛得深沉……”。今天，在這里，我和同志們、同事們深情告別，和XX人民深情告別，和這方熱土深情告別，我更讀懂了它所蘊涵的深情今后，無論我走到哪里，XX，這塊給我太多感動和真誠的土地，我都會永遠回憶和珍藏……

最后，我真誠地祝愿XX的明天更美好！

第三篇：里根總統的離職演說

Ronald Reagan： Farewell Address to the Nation My fellow Americans：

This is the 34th time I'll speak to you from the Oval Office and the last.We've been together 8 years now，and soon it'll be time for me to go.But before I do，I wanted to share some thoughts，some of which I've been saving for a long time.It's been the honor of my life to be your President.So many of you have written the past few weeks to say thanks，but I could say as much to you.Nancy and I are grateful for the opportunity you gave us to serve.One of the things about the Presidency is that you're always somewhat apart.You spent a lot of time going by too fast in a car someone else is driving，and seeing the people through tinted glass —— the parents holding up a child，and the wave you saw too late and couldn't return.And so many times I wanted to stop and reach out from behind the glass，and connect.Well，maybe I can do a little of that tonight.People ask how I feel about leaving.And the fact is，“parting is such sweet sorrow.” The sweet part is California and the ranch and freedom.The sorrow —— the goodbyes，of course，and leaving this beautiful place.You know，down the hall and up the stairs from this office is the part of the White House where the President and his family live.There are a few favorite windows I have up there that I like to stand and look out of early in the morning.The view is over the grounds here to the Washington Monument，and then the Mall and the Jefferson Memorial.But on mornings when the humidity is low，you can see past the Jefferson to the river，the Potomac，and the Virginia shore.Someone said that's the view Lincoln had when he saw the smoke rising from the Battle of Bull Run.Well I see more prosaic things： the grass on the banks，the morning traffic as people make their way to work，now and then a sailboat on the river.I've been thinking a bit at that window.I've been reflecting on what the past ,then the Mall and the Jefferson Memorial.But on mornings when the humidity is low，you can see past the

Jefferson to the river，the Potomac，and the Virginia shore.Someone said that's the view Lincoln had when he saw the smoke rising from the Battle of Bull Run.Well I see more prosaic things： the grass on the banks，the morning traffic as people make their way to work，now and then a sailboat on the river.I've been thinking a bit at that window.I've been reflecting on what the past 8 years have meant and mean.And the image that comes to mind like a refrain is a nautical one —— a small story about a big ship，and a refugee，and a sailor.It was back in the early eighties，at the height of the boat people.And the sailor was hard at work on the carrier Midway，which was patrolling the South China Sea.The sailor，like most American servicemen，was young，smart，and fiercely observant.The crew spied on the horizon a leaky little boat.And crammed inside were refugees from Indochina hoping to get to America.The Midway sent a small launch to bring them to the ship and safety.As the refugees made their way through the choppy seas，one spied the sailor on deck，and stood up，and called out to him.He yelled，“Hello，American sailor.Hello，freedom man.”

A small moment with a big meaning，a moment the sailor，who wrote it in a letter，couldn't get out of his mind.And，when I saw it，neither could I.Because that's what it has to —— it was to be an American in the 1980's.We stood，again，for freedom.I know we always have，but in the past few years the world again —— and in a way，we ourselves —— rediscovered it.It's been quite a journey this decade，and we held together through some stormy seas.And at the end，together，we're reaching our destination.The fact is，from Grenada to the Washington and Moscow summits，from the recession of '81 to '82，to the expansion that began in late '82 and continues to this day，we've made a difference.The way I see it，there were two great triumphs，two things that I'm proudest of.One is the economic recovery，in which the people of America created —— and filled —— 19

million new jobs.The other is the recovery of our morale.America is respected again in the world and looked to for leadership.Something that happened to me a few years ago reflects some of this.It was back in 1981，and I was attending my first big economic summit，which was held that year in Canada.The meeting place rotates among the member countries.The opening meeting was a formal dinner for the heads of government of the seven industrialized nations.Well I sat there like the new kid in school and listened，and it was all Francois this and Helmut that.They dropped titles and spoke to one another on a first-name basis.Well，at one point I sort of leaned in and said，“My name's Ron.” Well，in that same year，we began the actions we felt would ignite an economic comeback —— cut taxes and regulation，started to cut spending.And soon the recovery began..Two years later，another economic summit with pretty much the same cast.At the big opening meeting we all got together，and all of a sudden，just for a moment，I saw that everyone was just sitting there looking at me.And then one of them broke the silence.“Tell us about the American miracle，” he said.Well，back in 1980，when I was running for President，it was all so different.Some pundits said our programs would result in catastrophe.Our views on foreign affairs would cause war.Our plans for the economy would cause inflation to soar and bring about economic collapse.I even remember one highly respected economist saying，back in 1982，that “The engines of economic growth have shut down here，and they're likely to stay that way for years to come.” Well，he and the other opinion leaders were wrong.The fact is what they call “radical” was really “right.” What they called “dangerous” was just “desperately needed.”

And in all of that time I won a nickname，“The Great Communicator.” But I never thought it was my style or the words I used that made a difference： it was the content.I wasn't a great communicator，but I communicated great things，and they didn't spring full bloom from my

brow，they came from the heart of a great nation —— from our experience，our wisdom，and our belief in the principles that have guided us for two centuries.They called it the “Reagan Revolution.” Well，I'll accept that，but for me it always seemed more like the great rediscovery，a rediscovery of our values and our common sense.Common sense told us that when you put a big tax on something，the people will produce less of it.So，we cut the people's tax rates，and the people produced more than ever before.The economy bloomed like a plant that had been cut back and could now grow quicker and stronger.Our economic program brought about the longest peacetime expansion in our history： real family income up，the poverty rate down，entrepreneurship booming，and an explosion in research and new technology.We're exporting more than ever because American industry became more competitive.And at the same time，we summoned the national will to knock down protectionist walls abroad instead of erecting them at home.Common sense also told us that to preserve the peace，we'd have to become strong again after years of weakness and confusion.So，we rebuilt our defenses，and this New Year we toasted the new peacefulness around the globe.Not only have the superpowers actually begun to reduce their stockpiles of nuclear weapons —— and hope for even more progress is bright —— but the regional conflicts that rack the globe are also beginning to cease.The Persian Gulf is no longer a war zone.The Soviets are leaving Afghanistan.The Vietnamese are preparing to pull out of Cambodia，and an American-mediated accord will soon send 50，000 Cuban troops home from Angola.The lesson of all this was，of course，that because we're a great nation，our challenges seem complex.It will always be this way.But as long as we remember our first principles and believe in ourselves，the future will always be ours.And something else we learned： Once you begin a great movement，there's no telling where it'll end.We meant to change a nation，and instead，we changed a world.Countries across the globe are turning to free markets and free speech and turning away from

the ideologies of the past.For them，the great rediscovery of the 1980's has been that，lo and behold，the moral way of government is the practical way of government： Democracy，the profoundly good，is also the profoundly productive.When you've got to the point when you can celebrate the anniversaries of your 39th birthday，you can sit back sometimes，review your life，and see it flowing before you.For me there was a fork in the river，and it was right in the middle of my life.I never meant to go into politics.It wasn't my intention when I was young.But I was raised to believe you had to pay your way for the blessings bestowed on you.I was happy with my career in the entertainment world，but I ultimately went into politics because I wanted to protect something precious.Ours was the first revolution in the history of mankind that truly reversed the course of government，and with three little words： “We the People.” “We the People” tell the government what to do； it doesn't tell us.“We the People” are the driver； the government is the car，and we decide where it should go，and by what route，and how fast.Almost all the world's constitutions are documents in which governments tell the people what their privileges are.Our Constitution is a document in which “We the People” tell the government what it is allowed to do.“We the People” are free.This belief has been the underlying basis for everything I've tried to do these past 8 years.But back in the 1960's，when I began，it seemed to me that we'd begun reversing the order of things —— that through more and more rules and regulations and confiscatory taxes，the government was taking more of our money，more of our options，and more of our freedom.I went into politics in part to put up my hand and say，“Stop.” I was a citizen politician，and it seemed the right thing for a citizen to do.I think we have stopped a lot of what needed stopping.And I hope we have once again reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited.There's a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics： “As government expands，liberty contracts.”

Nothing is less free than pure communism —— and yet we have，the past few years，forged a satisfying new closeness with the Soviet Union.I've been asked if this isn't a gamble，and my answer is no because we're basing our actions not on words but deeds.The detente of this 1970's was based not on actions but promises.They'd promise to treat their own people and the people of the world better.But the gulag was still the gulag，and the state was still expansionist，and they still waged proxy wars in Africa，Asia，and Latin America.Well，this time，so far，it's different.President Gorbachev has brought about some internal democratic reforms and begun the withdrawal from Afghanistan.He has also freed prisoners whose names I've given him every time we've met.But life has a way of reminding you of big things through small incidents.Once，during the heady days of the Moscow summit，Nancy and I decided to break off from the entourage one afternoon to visit the shops on Arbat Street —— that's a little street just off Moscow's main shopping area.Even though our visit was a surprise，every Russian there immediately recognized us and called out our names and reached for our hands.We were just about swept away by the warmth.You could almost feel the possibilities in all that joy.But within seconds，a KGB detail pushed their way toward us and began pushing and shoving the people in the crowd.It was an interesting moment.It reminded me that while the man on the street in the Soviet Union yearns for peace，the government is Communist.And those who run it are Communists，and that means we and they view such issues as freedom and human rights very differently.We must keep up our guard，but we must also continue to work together to lessen and eliminate tension and mistrust.My view is that President Gorbachev is different from previous Soviet leaders.I think he knows some of the things wrong with his society and is trying to fix them.We wish him well.And we'll continue to work to make sure that the Soviet Union that eventually emerges from this process is a less threatening one.What it all boils down to is this： I want the new closeness to continue.And it will，as long as we make it clear that we will continue to act in a certain way as long as they continue to act in a helpful manner.If and when they don't，at first pull your punches.If they persist，pull the plug.It's still trust but verify.It's

still play，but cut the cards.It's still watch closely.And don't be afraid to see what you see.I've been asked if I have any regrets.Well，I do.The deficit is one.I've been talking a great deal about that lately，but tonight isn't for arguments，and I'm going to hold my tongue.But an observation： I've had my share of victories in the Congress，but what few people noticed is that I never won anything you didn't win for me.They never saw my troops； they never saw Reagan's regiments，the American people.You won every battle with every call you made and letter you wrote demanding action.Well，action is still needed.If we're to finish the job，Reagan's regiments will have to become the Bush brigades.Soon he'll be the Chief，and he'll need you every bit as much as I did.Finally，there is a great tradition of warnings in Presidential farewells，and I've got one that's been on my mind for some time.But oddly enough it starts with one of the things I'm proudest of in the past 8 years： the resurgence of national pride that I called，“The New Patriotism.” This national feeling is good，but it won't count for much，and it won't last unless it's grounded in thoughtfulness and knowledge.An informed patriotism is what we want.And are we doing a good enough job teaching our children what America is and what she represents in the long history of the world？ Those of us who are over 35 or so years of age grew up in a different America.We were taught，very directly，what it means to be an American.And we absorbed，almost in the air，a love of country and an appreciation of its institutions.If you didn't get these things from your family you got them from the neighborhood，from the father down the street who fought in Korea or the family who lost someone at Anzio.Or you could get a sense of patriotism from school.And if all else failed you could get a sense of patriotism from the popular culture.The movies celebrated democratic values and implicitly reinforced the idea that America was special.TV was like that，too，through the mid-sixties.But now，we're about to enter the nineties，and some things have changed.Younger parents aren't sure that an unambivalent appreciation of America is the right thing to teach modern children.And as for those who create the popular culture，well-grounded patriotism is no longer the style.Our spirit is back，but we haven't reinstitutionalized it.We've got to do a better job of getting across that America is freedom —— freedom of speech，freedom of religion，freedom of enterprise.And freedom is special and rare.It's fragile； it needs production [protection].So，we've got to teach history based not on what's in fashion but what's important —— why the Pilgrims came here，who Jimmy Doolittle was，and what those 30 seconds over Tokyo meant.You know，4 years ago on the 40th anniversary of D-day，I read a letter from a young woman writing to her late father，who had fought on Omaha Beach.Her name was Lisa Zanatta Henn，and she said，“we will always remember，we will never forget what the boys of Normandy did.” Well，let's help her keep her word.If we forget what we did，we won't know who we are.I'm warning of an eradication of that —— of the American memory that could result，ultimately，in an erosion of the American spirit.Let's start with some basics： more attention to American history and a greater emphasis on civic ritual.And let me offer lesson number one about America： All great change in America begins at the dinner table.So，tomorrow night in the kitchen I hope the talking begins.And children，if your parents haven't been teaching you what it means to be an American，let 'em know and nail 'em on it.That would be a very American thing to do.And that's about all I have to say tonight，except for one thing.The past few days when I've been at that window upstairs，I've thought a bit of the 'shining city upon a hill.' The phrase comes from John Winthrop，who wrote it to describe the America he imagined.What he

imagined was important because he was an early Pilgrim，an early freedom man.He journeyed here on what today we'd call a little wooden boat； and like the other Pilgrims，he was looking for a home that would be free.I've spoken of the shining city all my political life，but I don't know if I ever quite communicated what I saw when I said it.But in my mind it was a tall，proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans，windswept，God-blessed，and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace； a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity.And if there had to be city walls，the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here.That's how I saw it，and see it still.And how stands the city on this winter night？ More prosperous，more secure，and happier than it was 8 years ago.But more than that： After 200 years，two centuries，she still stands strong and true on the granite ridge，and her glow has held steady no matter what storm.And she's still a beacon，still a magnet for all who must have freedom，for all the pilgrims from all the lost places who are hurtling through the darkness，toward home.We've done our part.And as I walk off into the city streets，a final word to the men and women of the Reagan Revolution，the men and women across America who for 8 years did the work that brought America back.My friends： We did it.We weren't just marking time.We made a difference.We made the city stronger； we made the city freer； and we left her in good hands.All in all，not bad —— not bad at all.And so，goodbye，God bless you，and God bless the United States of America.

第四篇：市衛生局長離職演說（精選）

尊敬的***，同志門：

剛才，市委***副書記宣布了***市衛生局領導班子變動情況的決定，并代表市委作了重要講話，提出了殷切期望。首先，我對市委的安排表示衷心的擁護！同時對***同志的任職表示最良好的祝賀！

**年的隆冬時節我來到這里，而今即將伴著和煦的春風離去，已過不惑之年的我就要揮別這曾經工作過的地方，即將踏上人生新的征程。此時此刻，我的心情很不平靜，回顧過去的一年，這幾日我輾轉難眠，有太多的感慨和留戀，依依不舍之情常常浮現在眼前。這里有我朝夕相處的同事，有給予我無私幫助的朋友，有關懷愛護我的各級領導，有以大局為重支持理解我的同志們，借此機會，我要向你們致以誠摯的謝意！謝謝你們！

一年零四個月的時間轉瞬即逝了，直到這時我才真正理解了來去匆匆的內涵，雖然區區、五年不過是漫漫人生旅途中的彈指一揮間，但這里良好的環境，樸實的局風，真摯的情感，熱情的同志，都給我留下了永不磨滅的印象。在***市這片大有希望的熱土上，我度過了值得終生回憶的無悔歲月，也為***市衛生事業的發展貢獻了一份微薄之力，與同志們一道見證了***市衛生系統的發展壯大，使我這并非土生土長的***人對這里充滿了濃濃的鄉情。“人非草木，孰能無情”，如今將要離去，真可謂“別有一番滋味在心頭”！但是我想，無論走到哪里，今后，***市都將是我魂牽夢繞的地方，我將時常想起它.即使在今天此時此刻，我每每想起同志們對我工作的大力支持和個人的鼎力相助，我就深受感動，并將永志不忘！

在過去的工作中，作為市局一把手，在班子成員的支持下，我盡最大的努力，做了一些有利于全局、有利于同志們的事情，有一些還在實施之中，有一些沒能夠實現，我也倍感遺憾！尤其是“人非圣賢、誰能無過”，我在工作中，肯定會有一些事情，難以做到恰到好處，雖然我講原則重感情，但由于對工作要求過嚴、過急，難免會傷害一些同志的情感和自尊，在此我深表謙意懇請諒解！我相信，同志們都能從工作角度對我個人和我的工作給予理解，謝謝你們！

“人生自古傷別離”，工作的需要不以我個人的意志為轉移，我要遵照市委安排，離開我曾經生活和工作過的地方，離開與我并肩戰斗的同志們。雖然離開了這里和大家，但我會一如既往地關心***市衛生事業的發展，關注同志們的成長和進步。我相信只要同志們攜手并肩，真抓實干，以***同志為首的新一屆領導班子一定會率領大家開創***市衛生系統更加輝煌的明天。我也衷心祝愿***同志在***市衛生局工作順利、生活愉快！最后讓我把各種情感匯集成對同志們的良好祝愿！祝同志們身體永遠健康，家庭幸福和睦，萬事順心如意！

第五篇：Obama out——奧巴馬的離職演說

Good evening, everybody.It is an honor to be here at my last — and perhaps the last — White House Correspondents’ Dinner.You all look great.The end of the Republic has never looked better.I do apologize — I know I was a little late tonight.I was running on C.P.T.— which stands for ―jokes that white people should not make.‖ It’s a tip for you, Jeff.1, C.P.T是指Colored People's Time，吐槽黑人被說遲到。

2，反擊紐約市長Bill de Blasio此前關于C.P.T的玩笑。Bill de Blasio之前在另一個場合遲到，于是開了一個玩笑I am running on CP Time.結果全場陷入尷尬。

Anyway, here we are.My eighth and final appearance at this unique event.And I am excited.If this material works well, I’m going to use it at Goldman Sachs next year.Earn me some serious Tubmans.That’s right.1，這里吐槽希拉里在高盛(Goldman Sachs)演講賺了幾十萬美 元的事情。2，Tubmans這里指錢，因為Tubmans是20美元紙幣上的頭像。

My brilliant and beautiful wife, Michelle, is here tonight.She looks so happy to be here.That’s called practice — it’s like learning to do three-minute planks.She makes it look easy now.Next year at this time, someone else will bestanding here in this very spot, and it’s anyone’s guess who she will be.But standing here, I can’t help but be reflective, a little sentimental.Eight years ago, I said it was time to change the tone of our politics.In hindsight, I clearly should have been more specific.1，奧巴馬用She就是暗指希拉里一定是下屆總統。

2，8年前，他想努力改善一下政治環境(the tone of our politics)，后來的more specific吐槽這個環境其實越來越差了。

Eight years ago, I was a young man, full of idealism and vigor, and look at me now.I am gray and grizzled, just counting down the days ’til my death panel.Hillary once questioned whether I’d be ready for a 3 a.m.phone call — now I’m awake anyway because I’ve got to go to the bathroom.I’m up.全程都在自黑

In fact, somebody recently said to me, Mr.President, you are so yesterday;Justin Trudeau has completely replaced you — he’s so handsome, he’s socharming, he’s the future.And I said, Justin, just give it a rest.I resented that.Meanwhile, Michelle has not aged a day.The only way you can date her in photos is by looking at me.Take a look.繼續自黑自己顯老，而Michelle一點沒變。Here we are in 2008.Here we are a few years later.And this one is from two weeks ago.So time passes.In just six short months, I will be officially a lame duck, which means Congress now will flat-out reject my authority.And Republican leaders won’t take my phone calls.And this is going to take some getting used to, it’s really going to — it’s a curve ball.I don’t know what to do with it.吐槽自己將要下臺(lame duck)，大家也越來越不把他當回事了。下面說英國小王子George和他見面時穿著浴袍，就感覺自己被呼了一巴掌。

Of course, in fact, for months now congressional Republicans have been saying there are things I cannot do in my final year.Unfortunately, this dinner was not one of them.But on everything else, it’s another story.And you know who you are, Republicans.In fact, I think we’ve got Republican Senators Tim Scott and Cory Gardner, they’re in the house, which reminds me, security, bar the doors!Judge Merrick Garland, come on out, we’re going to do this right here, right now.It’s like ―The Red Wedding.1.unfortunately在開玩笑其實自己并不想來這場晚宴。

2，吐槽之前提名大法官，共和黨遲遲不做反應，所以想bars the door，然后就地解決。2，The Red wedding是《權利的游戲》里面的梗，看過的都知道 場面有多震撼吧：)。But it’s not just Congress.Even some foreign leaders, they’ve been looking ahead, anticipating my departure.Last week, Prince George showed up to our meeting in his bathrobe.That was a slap in the face.A clear breach in protocol.Although while in England I did have lunch with Her Majesty, the Queen, took in a performance of Shakespeare, hit the links with David Cameron — just in case anybody is still debating whether I’m black enough, I think that settles the debate.在吐槽自己是不是being black enough，因為他說的那些活動都是很白人的。

I won’t lie — look, this is a tough transition.It’s hard.Key staff are now starting to leave the White House.Even reporters have left me.Savannah Guthrie, she’s left the White House Press Corps to host the Today show.Norah O’Donnell left the briefing room to host CBS This Morning.Jake Tapper left journalism to join CNN.講Journalism和CNN做對立，吐槽CNN做的不算是新聞。(畫面里的Jake Tapper本人表情好尷尬)But the prospect of leaving the White House is a mixed bag.You might have heard that someone jumped the White House fence last week, but I have to give Secret Service credit — they found Michelle, brought her back, she’s safe back at home now.It’s only nine more months, baby.Settle down.黑Michelle以及迫不及待要離開白宮了。

And yet, somehow, despite all this, despite the churn, in my final year, my approval ratings keep going up.The last time I was this high, I was trying to decide on my major.奧巴馬承認自己大學時候抽過大麻，這里玩的是這個梗，high在這里是雙關，major是大學的專業。

And here’s the thing: I haven’t really done anything differently.So it’s odd.Even my aides can’t explain the rising poll numbers — what has changed, nobody can figure it out.Puzzling.這段開始吐槽共和黨，他明明自己沒做什么，為什么共和黨的支持率上漲。這時候出現了共和黨候選人Trump和Ted Cruz的照片，原因顯而易見。

Anyway, in this last year I do have more appreciation for those who have been with me on this amazing ride, like one of our finest public servants, Joe Biden.God bless him.Love that guy.I love Joe Biden, I really do.And I want to thank him for his friendship, for his counsel, for always giving it to me straight, for not shooting anybody in the face.Thank you, Joe.小布什的副總統切尼曾開槍誤傷別人

Also, I would be remiss — let’s give it up for our host, Larry Wilmore.Also known as one of the two black guys who is not Jon Stewart.You’re the South African guy, right? I love Larry.And his parents are here, who are from Evanston, which is a great town.1，兩個black guys的另一個是Trevor，同時也黑了一把囧叔。2，Trevor才是South African，這里奧巴馬假裝弄錯。Ialsowouldliketoacknowle；Schreiber.Thankyouallfor；這里其實在向三位獲獎的記者致敬，順便黑了一下現實；Iunderstandthenewsbusine；Andeveryyear,theWashingt；吐槽傳統媒體收到新媒體的沖擊，因此華盛頓郵報對這；GOPChairmanReincePriebus；Repub

I also would like to acknowledge some of the award-winning reporters that we have with us here tonight.Rachel McAdams.Mark Ruffalo.LievSchreiber.Thank you all for everything that you’ve done.I’m just joking.As you know, ―Spotlight‖ is a film, a movie about investigative journalists with the resources and the autonomy to chase down the truth and hold the powerful accountable.Best fantasy film since Star Wars.Look — that was maybe a cheap shot.這里其實在向三位獲獎的記者致敬，順便黑了一下現實

I understand the news business is tough these days, it keeps changing all the time.Every year at this dinner, somebody makes a joke about BuzzFeed, for example, changing the media landscape.And every year, the Washington Post laughs a little bit less hard.Kind of a silence there.Especially at the Washington Post table.吐槽傳統媒體收到新媒體的沖擊，因此華盛頓郵報對這個梗笑的越來越沒底氣。

GOP Chairman Reince Priebus is here as well.Glad to see you that you feel that you’ve earned a night off.Congratulations on all your success.TheRepublican Party, the nomination process-– it’s all going great.Keep it up.反諷，表面上是表揚共和黨的工作很好，其實是反諷他們沒有積極阻止川普的競選。Kendall Jenner is also here.And we had a chance to meet her backstage — she seems like a very nice young woman.I’m not exactly sure what she does, but I am told that my Twitter mentions are about to go through the roof.Kendall Jenner的職業是超模，所以奧巴馬的twitter mention才會暴增。

Helen Mirren is here tonight.I don’t even have a joke here.I just think Helen Mirren is awesome.She’s awesome.Helen Mirren是好萊塢巨星，本人真的很酷(awesome)啊

Sitting at the same table, I see Mike Bloomberg.Mike, a combative,controversial New York billionaire is leading the GOP primary and it is not you.That’s has to sting a little bit.Although it’s not an entirely fair comparison between you and the Donald.After all, Mike was a big-city mayor.He knows policy in depth.And he’s actually worth the amount of money that he says he is.最后一句話褒獎Bloomberg的目的就是黑川普，因為川普最近大幅夸大自己的真實財富。

What an election season.For example, we’ve got the bright new face of the Democratic Party here tonight –-Mr.Bernie Sanders!There he is — Bernie!Bernie, you look like a million bucks.Or to put it in terms you’ll understand, you look like 37,000 donations of 27 dollars each.給Bernie捐款者的捐款平均是27美元。這個笑話其實引起了很多草根(grassroots)的反感，因為他們不可能捐很多錢助選。

A lot of folks have been surprised by the Bernie phenomenon, especially his appeal to young people.But not me, I get it.Just recently, a young person came up to me and said she was sick of politicians standing in the way of her dreams.As if we were actually going to let Malia go to Burning Man this year.That was not going to happen.Bernie might have let her go.Not us.Bernie很受年輕人的喜歡，而且這里透露了奧巴馬的女兒Malia將 會推遲一年進入哈佛大學。Burning Man是指火把節，為美國一個著名的反傳統狂歡節，感興趣的朋友可以自己了解一下。

I am hurt, though, Bernie, that you’ve distancing yourself a little from me.I mean, that’s just not something that you do to your comrade.Comrade是同志，這里吐槽Bernie思想太左，是Communist。另外也是吐槽Bernie思想比較陳舊，和自己比都落伍啦(distance yourself from me)。

Bernie’s slogan has helped his campaign catch fire among youngpeople.―Feel the Bern.‖ Feel the Bern — it’s a good slogan.Hillary’s slogan has not had the same effect.Let’s see this.1，Feel the Bern是Feel the Burn的諧音，Bernie的競選口號是Burn New Bern。Bern是Bernie的簡稱，就像Steven常常被叫成Steve。

2，Trudge是艱難的行走，這里的Hill是暗指希拉里(她名字的前幾個字母)，和Bernie對比突出她在吸引年輕人上面比較艱難。

Look, I’ve said how much I admire Hillary’s toughness, her smarts, her policy chops, her experience.You’ve got to admit it, though, Hillary trying to appeal to young voters is a little bit like your relative just signed up for Facebook.―Dear America, did you get my poke?‖ ―Is it appearing on your wall?‖ ―I’m not sure I am using this right.Love, Aunt Hillary.‖ It’s not entirely persuasive.前面說Bernie很善于討好年輕人(appeal to young people)，這里就開始吐槽希拉里想討好年輕人，但似乎做的很蹩腳，就像―你家剛剛注冊了非死不可的親戚‖一般不怎么又說服力。

Meanwhile, on the Republican side, things are a little more — how should we say this — a little ―more loose.‖ Just look at the confusion over the invitations to tonight’s dinner.Guests were asked to check whether theywanted steak or fish, but instead, a whole bunch of you wrote in Paul Ryan.That’s not an option, people.Steak or fish.You may not like steak or fish — but that’s your choice.這里steak是指川普，因為川普曾經把旗下的牛排產品以Trump命名。fish是指和川普競爭共和黨總統候選人的Ted Cruz，因為Cruz被網友形容張了一張死魚臉。Paul Ryan是眾議院院長，共和黨內常常傳出呼聲，如果川普和Cruz拿不到黨內提名需要的票數，就會推舉Paul Ryan為總統候選人。

Meanwhile, some candidates aren’t polling high enough to qualify for their own joke tonight.The rules were well-established ahead of time.吐槽某些候選人的支持率低

And then there’s Ted Cruz.Ted had a tough week.He went to Indiana –-Hoosier country –-stood on a basketball court, andcalled the hoopa ―basketball ring.‖ What else is in his lexicon? Baseball sticks? Football hats? But sure, I’m the foreign one.Ted不接地氣，把籃球框(hoop)說成是basketball ring。奧巴馬 吐槽他是不是外國人，順便自黑一下，因為奧巴馬因為父親的原因曾經被說成是出生在肯尼亞。實際上，Ted Cruz才是真正出生在國外的，他出生在加拿大，因此很多人質疑他是不是真的有資格競選總統。

Well, let me conclude tonight on a more serious note.I want to thank the Washington press corps, I want to thank Carol for all that you do.The free press is central to our democracy, and — nah, I’m just kidding!You know I’ve got to talk about Trump!Come on!We weren’t just going to stop there.Come on.感謝了一圈又來一句I’m just kidding，似乎要準備吐槽川普了。

Although I am a little hurt that he’s not here tonight.We had so much fun the last time.And it is surprising.You’ve got a room full of reporters，celebrities, cameras, and he says no? Is this dinner too tacky for The Donald? What could he possibly be doing instead? Is he at home, eating a Trump Steak — tweeting out insults to Angela Merkel? What’s he doing? 1，有這么多記者，名人，川普都沒來，實在不符合他的行事風格，吐槽他愛出風頭。3，吐槽川普喜歡以自己的名字命名他的產品，他用Trump命名了 一款自己的牛排產品為Trump Steak，而且開發的地產項目也往往用Trump命名。

The Republican establishment is incredulous that he is their most likely nominee — incredulous, shocking.They say Donald lacks the foreign policy experience to be President.But, in fairness, he has spent years meeting with leaders from around the world: Miss Sweden, Miss Argentina, Miss Azerbaijan.吐槽川普喜歡沾花惹草

Andthere’soneareawhereDo；吐槽川普海邊的商業產業都被他經營倒閉了；Allright,that’sprobablye；Ihopeyouallareproudofyou；吐槽川普之前威脅說如果在七月的共和黨黨代會(GO；AsformeandMichelle,we’ve；plot在這里是―種地的田，carrotspl；Butourdeci

And there’s one area where Donald’s experience could be invaluable-– and that’s closing Guantanamo.Because Trump knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground.吐槽川普海邊的商業產業都被他經營倒閉了

All right, that’s probably enough.I mean, I’ve got more material — no, no, I don’t want to spend too much time on The Donald.Following your lead, I want to show some restraint.Because I think we can all agree that from the start, he’s gotten the appropriate amount of coverage, befitting the seriousness of his candidacy.I hope you all are proud of yourselves.The guy wanted to give his hotel business a boost, and now we’re praying that Cleveland makes it through July.吐槽川普之前威脅說如果在七月的共和黨黨代會(GOP)上，如果他沒有贏得總統候選人提名的話共和黨將會擁有一個―a rough July。

As for me and Michelle, we’ve decided to stay in D.C.for a couple more years.Thank you.This way, our youngest daughter can finish up high school, Michelle can stay closer to her plot of carrots.She’s already making plans to see them every day.Take a look.plot在這里是―種地的田，carrots plot就是胡蘿卜田，暗示Michelle在他退休后的生活就是種菜。

But our decision has actually presented a bit of a dilemma because,traditionally, Presidents don’t stick around after they’re done.And it’s something that I’ve been brooding about a little bit.Take a look.Here you go.I am still waiting for all of you to respond to my invitation to connect on LinkedIn.But I know you have jobs to do, which is what really brings us here tonight.I know that there are times that we’ve had differences, and that’s inherent in our institutional roles — it’s true of every President andhis press corps.But we’ve always shared the same goal –-to root our public discourse in the truth;to open the doors of this democracy;to dowhatever we can to make our country and our world more free and more just.And I’ve always appreciated the role that you have all played as equal partners in reaching these goals.你能看到這里也是real厲害，下面基本沒有吐槽啦，基本就是感謝的話。

And our free press is why we once again recognize the real journalists who uncovered a horrifying scandal and brought about some measure of justice for thousands of victims throughout the world.They are here with us tonight –-Sacha Pfeiffer, Mike Rezendes, Walter Robinson, Matt Carroll, and Ben Bradlee, Jr.Please give them a big round of applause.Our free press is why, once again, we honor Jason Rezaian.As Carol noted, last time this year, we spoke of Jason’s courage as he endured the isolation ofan Iranian prison.This year, we see that courage in the flesh and it’s a living testament to the very idea of a free press, and a reminder of the rising level of danger, and political intimidation, and physical threats faced by reporters overseas.And I can make this commitment that as long as I hold this office, my administration will continue to fight for the release of American journalists held against their will — and we will not stop until they see the same freedom as Jason had.At home and abroad, journalists like all of you engage in the doggedpursuit of informing citizens, and holding leaders accountable, and making our government of the people possible.And it’s an enormous responsibility.And I realize it’s an enormous challenge at a time when the economics of the business sometimes incentivize speed over depth;and when controversy and conflict are what most immediately attract readers and viewers.The good news is there are so many of you that are pushing against those trends.And as a citizen of this great democracy, I am grateful for that.For this is also a time around the world when some of the fundamental ideals of liberal democracies are under attack, and when notions of objectivity, and of a free press, and of facts, and of evidence are trying to be undermined.Or, in some cases, ignored entirely.And in such a climate, it’s not enough just to give people a megaphone.And that’s why your power and your responsibility to dig and to question and to counter distortions and untruths is moreimportant than ever.Taking a stand on behalf of what is true does not require you shedding your objectivity.In fact, it is the essence of goodjournalism.It affirms the idea that the only way we can build consensus, the only way that we can move forward as a country, the only way we can help the world mend itself is by agreeing on a baseline of facts when it comes to the challenges that confront us all.So this night is a testament to all of you who have devoted your lives to that idea, who push to shine a light on the truth every single day.So I want to close my final White House Correspondents’ Dinner by just saying thank you.I’m very proud of what you’ve done.It has been an honor and a privilege to work side by side with you to strengthen our democracy.And with that, I just have two more words to say-Obama out.Thank you.