第一篇：《三笑三國》英語話劇

《三笑三國》

旁白—黃麗清

趙云—歐日斌

曹操—周會軍

夏侯敦—羅靖慧

蔣干—黃忠麗 劉備—楊愛榮

諸葛亮—申海怡

張飛—劉汝強 道具：一坨布（代表阿斗）、槍（劍）。

開場介紹

Ladies and gentlemen,let me introduce the actors.The first is ZhaoYun,he is the mostly actor today.And his black brother is ZhangFei ,and there boss is LiuBei.Don't forget the other side Mr Cao,and his adviser JiangGan,and the most strong XiaHou Dun.At last,Don't forget who behind the scenes ME----the Director.打，二人站起）

曹操：夏侯愛卿為何要在地上裝西瓜皮？？Why do you want to install banana rind on the ground? 夏侯敦：有一人臉如黑炭 手抱孩子A very black people with baby in his band.蔣干：是敵人的保姆！還帶個孩子！！it Is enemy's maid with a child in his arm.曹操：那你呢？What did you do? 夏侯敦：I I I?? I rushed to him and fight with him.I’m fighting fighting fighting！我 我?? 我沖上去與之打斗 打 打 打

曹操：然后呢？What then? 蔣干：丞相，看來是夏侯敦將軍殺退了敵人！Prime minister, it is likely that general Hou dun has defeated the enemy.夏侯敦：唔唔！Zhao Yun used his nine dark white bone fingers to me!I was so fearful.趙云用他的九陰白骨爪對付我，我好害怕！

（手勢如下：指指門外，右手作“九”的樣子，隨即作全身發冷狀，然后指向自己的衣服，再指向曹操，作爪擊狀）

曹操：然后呢？ Then what happened? 夏侯敦：No！No！No！I was defeated he used the nine cloud white bone finger ,it's so terrible（曹操、蔣干二人將夏侯敦拉起）

曹操：如此看來，敵人應該還沒有走遠。咱們乘勝追擊！（慷慨狀）It seems that the enemy should not go far.Let's run after them.蔣干：有時候我真的很佩服丞相您這樂觀的心理??（贊同狀）Sometimes I really admires prime minister very much about your optimistic psychology......夏侯敦：Yes!Fighting,Fighting!Let’s go!好！打！打！上啊！（掄起兩拳，作欲與敵人搏斗狀）（三人下）

Ha!Zilong is coming now!I could not believe that you have Changsha a new tabletop without a minute!

（張飛迎上）張飛：子龍！ZiLong!趙云：翼德救我！help！!Third brother.（張飛下）

趙云：主公！云殊死力戰，方保得小主人在此！只是這許久不見啼哭，怕是已經??（悲憤狀，取出布包，打開并捧著）Boss, I have irid my best to protect the little boss.but it have a long time to hear nothing.I am afraid...趙云：chao！這小沒良心的，居然還能睡的著！就跟他爹一樣！oh ~ shit.how can the son of bitch get in asleep.just like his father.劉備：咳咳！（趙云轉身面向劉備）

諸葛亮：子龍，不是我說你，你嘴上就是少個把門兒的，總不能啥實話都往外說啊！？ZiLong,I don’t want to tell you, although it is true,you should not say it out!（劉備怒視諸葛亮，諸葛亮恍如不知，趙云上前，將阿斗遞給劉備，劉備捧著阿斗）劉備：為了你這倒霉孩子，幾乎損我一員大將啊！我還留著你干什么啊，我摔死你吧！because of you，I almost lose a brave general！Why do I keep you alive，let me kill you！

（阿斗摔下）（趙云上前，對準阿斗狂踹數腳，諸葛亮上前拉住，趙云始終作勢欲踢，諸葛亮用身體壓住趙云后，走上前去一腳將阿斗踢飛）

旁白：從今以后，阿斗的智力便出現了明顯的發育遲緩。請大家以此為鑒，日后請善待別人的孩子同時也要保護好你自己的孩子。This is why Liu a Dou is so foolish that lost his country.Please as a guide, please be kind to other people's children in the future to also want to protect your own children.趙云：咦？怎么不見關二哥呢？ ~~ where is the second bother ?

劉備：二弟昨天為軍師擺下一個八卦陣去，不過在沖出去撞馬的時候閃著腰了，現在還在休養呢！：He layout the Sazhen for military adviser yesterday, but when he rushed out , he get his waist twisted, now he stay in bed.諸葛亮：哎，太糟糕了，看我，多健康，多健壯！告訴他，多喝三鹿奶粉！（自戀狀）！Oh,It is so bad!Look at me,so healthy,so strong!tell him to drink more Santalum milk powder!趙云：就給這孩子喝成這樣兒了！！（走上前，撫摸諸葛亮，做憐惜狀）so you drink to be a foolish?

曹操（在臺下）：啊~！！（慘烈地）劉備：難道三弟又重操舊業了？咱們快去看看！Did ZhangFei returned to former career ？Go to see what happen?（三人下）

夏侯敦：我靠，又一個黑人，黑人都是很牛x的，我怕了。black man come again，Blacks are very powerful，I'm fearful.曹操：閣下是何人，何以竟有如此美妙的聲音！Excuse me.May I know your name? What a wonderful voice you have!張飛：我便是那燕（yān）人張翼德！（咬牙）I am Zhang Yi De from NaYan!(clenches teeth)（咬牙切齒的樣子）

曹操：閹人？？原來只是一個太監??夏侯敦，上去解決他！You are the so called coward,aren't you?HouDun,beat him!（夏侯敦低頭貓腰沖出）夏侯敦：唔！唔~唔！

（二人打在一起）旁白：真是厲害的車輪戰啊，這時候夏侯已經被張飛打得狼狽不堪了。Is really fierce Che Lun Zhan ah!At this time ,XiaHouDun has been ZhangFei played in disorder.（定格）蔣干：丞相，這一仗咱們必輸，一會還有橋斷水倒流呢！快叫夏侯將軍下來吧。Prime minister, we must have lose this Campaign , the bridge will also cut off the water soon!Let's call XiaHouDun general to get down quickly.曹操：你怎么知道？How do you know it? 蔣干：《真三國無雙叁》，長坂的任務啊！“Really,it is the game's duty of Three countries Unparalleled Three”！曹操：干啊，我看你是太沉迷于網絡游戲了。這樣既浪費時間又上海身體，你還是聽為丞相的一句話吧！珍愛生命，遠離三俗啊！I think you are too addicted to online games.What a waste of time, and It's harmful,listen to me ,You must take good care of yourself.（張飛與夏侯敦二人繼續，張飛一槍擊中夏侯敦）

夏侯敦：oh!my gad!I am over again.又被打敗了（蔣干上前將夏侯敦拖回）曹操：唉，如今這世道變了，太監都這么厲害啦！？ Now the world has changed.Why does that coward become so brave? 張飛：曹賊聽著！今日汝等必不能生過此橋！CaoCao ,!Shut up!Listen to me!Today you all can't pass this bridge with a live one!曹操：汝休得猖狂！今日要不是我手下典韋身死，許諸拉稀，于禁肺炎，李典麻疹，文聘肝癌，張遼痔瘡，才不會輸給你！shut up!If general DianWei was still alive,We would not be defeated!張飛：你手下終究無人可用！啊，面對此景次請，我真想賦詩一首——Nobody may go to battle for you ,Facing this scenery,I really want to sing a song.er, on......On......（音樂起）only you ~~~~~only??you??（夏侯敦躍起）

夏侯敦：唔唔唔??（以手捂耳，跑下）It’s very unpleasant to hear!太難聽了！

曹操：啊！Help!（慘厲的叫聲，并以手捂耳）

蔣干：啊！It is simply, make the gods cry!簡直是驚天地，泣鬼神啊！

（慘厲的叫聲，并以手捂耳）曹操：這難道就是傳說中的門得爾松的c大調《鬼叫》協奏曲！何以如此震撼！（驚惶狀）Why is this so shocking!It seems, really beat me is someone singing.看來，真正打敗我的是某人的歌聲。

蔣干：（一手指張飛）快看！丞相！橋斷了！水也開始倒流啦！（轉過身去，以手捂耳）Look, Prime minister!The bridge broke!The water also starts to flow backwards（音效：山崩地裂之聲）

曹操：aaaaaaa!（痛苦吐血狀）

（定格）（諸葛亮、劉備、趙云三人上）

諸葛亮：別唱啦！再唱下去就把曹操給唱死啦！Do not sing more,OK?if you go on singing,CaoCao will die because of your song!劉備：三弟快打住！（以手捂耳）Stop,stop！（以手捂耳）

張飛：only you ~~~~~only??you??（余音不絕）

劉備：子龍，快把三弟扛回去。ZiLong，carry ZhangFei back quickly。趙云：好的！OK（趙云上前，以手捂住張飛的嘴，扛走，張飛依舊唱個不停）（張飛、趙云二人下）旁白：從此以后有一首歌傳唱至今 經久不衰，叫做：only you~~~~ since then, a song become very very famous.The name is《Only You》.(歌聲再次響起，眾人謝幕~~)。

第二篇：英語八人搞笑話劇--三笑三國

《三笑三國》

開場介紹： Ladies and gentlemen,let me introduct the actor.The first is zhaoyun,he is the most actor tonight.and his black brother zhangfei ,and there boss liubei.don't forgot the other side Mr cao,and his adviser JiangGan,and the most strong XiaHou Dun.At last,don't forget who behind the scenes ME----the Director.第一幕：人物，趙云 夏侯惇 曹操 蔣干

旁白：就在剛才不久，一個黑大漢從曹操軍中救出劉備之子劉阿斗，現在正向這里殺過來，他就是張飛！！（趙云出場）Not too long ago,a black general saved the son of LiuBei ,Liu A dou.now,he is coming.His name is Zhangfei.趙云：no！本人姓趙名云，乃常山子龍也！no!my family name is zhao my middle name is yun and my given name is zilong ~

（趙云從背后拿出一坨布，代表阿斗）

（顧影自憐狀）

趙云：看！這就是主公的最后一點骨血！劉阿斗！我從火場之中把他救出，而我自己的臉卻早已……唉……化作焦炭！look!this is the last blood of the boss!liu

e dou.i took him out from the fire ,but my face hane already...ai ~.（夏侯敦挺著槍呈貓腰狀殺出）

夏侯敦：小賊，莫跑，要不然我就大開殺戒了（沖到）Children，stop there or i will kill you

（趙云左手抱阿斗，右手與之搏斗）

趙云：可惡！居然敢偷襲我！fuck,！

you bitch dare to attack me ??

（二人裝腔作勢打斗數招）

！stop！wait！!one two three...nine dark white bone fingers！

趙云：看我九陰白骨爪！（倒地）oh my gad

i'm over

夏侯敦：唔！

（下）yeah~ bitch i will go to look for my boss , goodbye~

趙云：此地不宜久留，還是快去尋主公！

（曹操、蔣干二人上）

曹操：沒想到我們初次出兵便殺得敵人望風而逃！真可謂出師未捷身先死。長使英雄淚滿襟！

I didn't expect that we can beat the enemy with our first attack.It reminds me of a poem, “Dead Before the Ship Even Sank.Long the hero Tearful”

蔣干：丞相，您說這話，真不見得怎么吉利。Prime minister,It does not sound good about what you have said;

（曹操險些被地上的夏侯敦絆倒）

曹操：咦？這是誰扔的西瓜皮？（轉身，看見倒在地上的夏侯敦）Huh? Who threw the banana rind?

曹操：是夏侯愛卿。難道他又在搞什么行為藝術？？Do not Xiahou Dun? Is he engaged in what is called performance art?

（蔣干上前將夏侯敦一頓拍打，二人站起）

曹操：夏侯愛卿為何要在地上裝西瓜皮？？Why do you want to install banana rind on the ground?

夏侯敦：有一人臉如黑炭 手抱孩子there is a very black people witha baby in his band！it Is enemy's maid with a child in his arm.蔣干：是敵人的保姆！還帶個孩子！曹操：那你呢？

What did you do?

夏侯敦：i i i…… i rushed to him and fight with him

i'mfightting

fightting fightting我我…… 我沖上去與之打斗 打

打 打

曹操：然后呢？What then?

蔣干：丞相，看來是夏侯將軍殺退了敵人！Prime minister, it is likely that general Xiahou has defeated the enemy（手勢如下：指指門外，右手作“九”的樣子，隨即作全身發冷狀，然后指向自己的衣服，再指向曹操，作爪擊狀）

夏侯敦：唔唔！

曹操：然后呢？

Then what happened?

夏侯敦：no no no I was defeated he used the nine cloud white bone finger ,it's so terrible

（曹操、蔣干二人將夏侯敦拉起）

（慷慨狀）It seems that the enemy should not go far.Let's run after them.曹操：如此看來，敵人應該還沒有走遠。咱們乘勝追擊！

蔣干：有時候我真的很佩服丞相您這樂觀的心理……（贊同狀）Sometimes I really admires prime minister very much about your optimistic psychology......（掄起兩拳，作欲與敵人搏斗狀）

夏侯敦：唔！唔唔唔~！

（三人下）

第二幕:人物：劉備 張飛

諸葛亮

趙云

（劉備、張飛、諸葛亮三人上）

旁白：這是的劉備一行人正在軍營外觀看敵情~~~LiuBei and his team are looking something out of his military camp.、（諸葛亮走在前面，張飛、劉備二人緊跟其后）

（轉頭）主公啊，按理說是您走先啦！（恭敬狀）old liu ah,you should walk in front of us!Is not it?

諸葛亮：劉備：不啦，軍師您身后有好大塊蔭涼，躲在這里避避暑也不錯。No，it's very cool that I stand just behind you，I can avoid summer heat（眺望狀）主公，如果我所料不錯，現在馬上就要下雨了！liu ah,come here!I tell you a secret!I think it is about to rain!諸葛亮：先生神算！人所不及！不知先生如何知道將要下雨？great prediction！

劉備：No one can compare with you！just wonder how do you know ？it's going to rain

（以手指前方）看天，那邊有一塊黑云來了！First,the weather report told us it is going to rain

諸葛亮：首先，天氣預報說今天有雨；其次，today;second,look at the sky,so many dark clouds are coming!

（趙云上）

張飛：哇！那就是子龍啊，想不到這一會不見子龍就換了個新桌面啊！Ha!That is person who called long ah, I could not believe that you have changd a new tabletop without a minute!

（張飛迎上）

張飛：子龍！

long

趙云：翼德救我！help！!brother three.（張飛下）

趙云：主公！云殊死力戰，方保得小主人在此！只是這許久不見啼哭，怕是已經……（悲憤狀，取出布包，打開并捧著）boss, i have trid my best to protect the little boss.but it have a long time to hear nothing.i am afraid...！

oh ~ shit.how can the son of bitch get in asleep.just like his father

趙云：kao！這小沒良心的，居然還能睡的著！就跟他爹一樣！劉備：咳咳！

（趙云轉身面向劉備）

諸葛亮：子龍，不是我說你，你嘴上就是少個把門兒的，總不能啥實話都往外說啊！？Zilong,not I tell you, although it is true,you should not say it out!（劉備怒視諸葛亮，諸葛亮恍如不知，趙云上前，將阿斗遞給劉備，劉備捧著阿斗）

！because of you，I almost lose a brave general！

劉備：為了你這倒楣孩子，幾乎損我一員大將啊！我還留著你趕什么啊，我摔死你吧！Why do I！（阿斗摔下）keep you alive，let me kill you！（趙云上前，對準阿斗狂踹數腳，諸葛亮上前拉住，趙云始終作勢欲踢，諸葛亮用身體壓住趙云后，走上前去一腳將阿斗踢飛）

旁白：從今以后，阿斗的智力便出現了明顯的發育遲緩……This is why liu a dou is so foolish that lost his country.趙云：咦？怎么不見關二哥呢？

yi ~~ where is brothe two GuanYu?

：He layout the BaGuaZhen for military adviser

劉備：二弟昨天為軍師擺下一個八卦陣去，不過在沖出去撞馬的時候閃著腰了，現在還在休養呢！yesterday, but when he rushed out , he get his waist twisted, now he stay in bed.諸葛亮：哎，太糟糕了，看我，多健康，多健壯！告訴他，多喝三鹿奶粉！（自戀狀）！Oh,It is so bad!Look at me,so healthy,so strong!tell him to drink more sanlu milk powder!！（走上前，撫摸諸葛亮，做憐惜狀）

so you drink to be a foolish?

趙云：就給這孩子喝成這樣兒了！：啊~！！（慘烈地）

曹操（在臺下）劉備：難道三弟又重操舊業了？咱們快去看看！Did zhangfei return to one's former career ？Go to see what happen?（三人下）

第三幕： 人物 張飛 曹操 夏侯 蔣干 劉備 諸葛亮

旁白：時間撥回到三分鐘之前，張飛大戰長坂坡……Go back to three minutes before the time set aside，zhangfei fight with caocao's army on changbanpo

（張飛上，在臺上轉一圈后，如京劇拿柱般亮相，定格）

（奸笑中）

曹操和蔣干：嘿嘿嘿嘿！

夏侯敦：唔唔唔唔……（奸笑中）

（三人奸笑上臺）！

Wa!Y

張飛：哇！火腿腸你回來拉！ou, The hot dog, come back!

。black man come again，Blacks are very powerful，i'm afaid

夏侯敦：我靠，又一個黑人，黑人都是很牛x的，我怕了。曹操：閣下是何人，何以竟有如此美妙的聲音！

Excuse me.May I know your name? What a wonderful voice you have!

（咬牙）I am Zhang Yide from jingdu!(clenches teeth)

張飛：我便是那燕（yān）人張翼德！

曹操：閹人？？原來只是一個太監……夏侯敦，上去解決他！You are the so called coward,aren't you?xiahou,beat it!

（夏侯敦低頭貓腰沖出）

夏侯敦：唔！唔~唔！

（定格）

（二人打在一起）蔣干：丞相，這一仗咱們必輸，一會還有橋斷水倒流呢！快叫夏侯將軍下來吧。Prime minister, we must have lose this Campaign , the bridge will also

cut off the water soon!Let's call Xiahou general to get down quickly 曹操：你怎么知道？How dou you know it? 《真三國無雙叁》，長坂的任務啊！“Really,it is the game's duty of Three countries Unparalleled Three”！

蔣干：曹操：干啊，我看你是太沉迷于網絡游戲了。這樣既浪費時間又上海身體，你還是聽為丞相的一句話吧！珍愛生命，遠離三俗啊！

I think you are too addicted to online games.What a waste of time, and It's harmful,listen to me ,You must take good care of yourself.（張飛與夏侯敦二人繼續，張飛一槍擊中夏侯敦）

夏侯敦：oh my gad

i am over again又被打敗了

（蔣干上前將夏侯敦拖回）

曹操：唉，如今這世道變了，太監都這么厲害啦！？ Why does that coward become so brave?

張飛：曹賊聽著！今日汝等必不能生過此橋！cao ,stops talking!Today you all can't pass this bridge with a live one!

曹操：汝休得猖狂！今日要不是我手下典韋身死，許諸拉稀，于禁肺炎，李典麻疹，文聘肝癌，張遼痔瘡，才不會輸給你！shut up!If general dianwei was still alive,We would not be defeated!

張飛：你手下終究無人可用！啊，面對此景次請，我真想賦詩一首——Nobody may go to battle for you ,Facing this scenery,i really want to sing a song.er, on......On......（音樂起）only you ~~~~~only……you……

（夏侯敦躍起）

夏侯敦：唔唔唔……（以手捂耳，跑下）

（慘厲的叫聲，并以手捂耳）

曹操：啊！（慘厲的叫聲，并以手捂耳）

蔣干：啊！

（驚惶狀）Why is this so shocking!

曹操：這難道就是傳說中的門得爾松的c大調《鬼叫》協奏曲！何以如此震撼！蔣干：（一手指張飛）快看！丞相！橋斷了！水也開始倒流啦！（轉過身去，以手捂耳）Look, Prime minister!The bridge broke!The water also starts to flow backwards（音效：山崩地裂之聲）

（定格）

曹操：aaaaaaaaaa（痛苦吐血狀）

（諸葛亮、劉備、趙云三人上）

諸葛亮：別唱啦！再唱下去就把曹操給唱死啦！Do not sing more,ok?if you go on singing,CaoCao will die because of your song!劉備：三弟快打住！（以手捂耳）Stop,stop！（以手捂耳）

張飛：only you ~~~~~only……you……（余音不絕）

劉備：子龍，快把三弟扛回去。Zilong，carry zhangfei back quickly。

趙云：好的！ok

（趙云上前，以手捂住張飛的嘴，扛走，張飛依舊唱個不停）

（張飛、趙云二人下）旁白：從此以后有一首歌傳唱至今 經久不衰，叫做：only you~~~~ 《Only You》.(歌聲再次響起，眾人謝幕~~)。

since then, a song become very very famous.The name is

第三篇：英語話劇

beard is looking good there,A…..1(女)

Don?t thank me，thank the dice.,they told me what percentage of my face to shave.….2

Why are you still doing this?.....3

Because it?s working，…in the past few weeks ,not be bothered by trivialities,so and I?m about

to figuring out why 1+1=2…..2

You forgot,got chafed testicles because you no longer wear underpants…..4

When give，also lost.…..2

Is 5 out with 6 again?...1

Yeah,every night …4

Wow, can?t believe that he has a girlfriend….1

搖色子 me neither…2

Here?s some other fun new on the 5 and 6,…..,he gave her a pair of diamond earrings anda car…3

You?re kidding…..1

You think she?s taking advantage of him?.....4

Oh ,of course not.She wouldn?t do something like that…she is deaf….1

無奈的表情 deaf??....deaf woman can?t be gold diggers?..4,Everyone knows that …..they are nice….1

Yeah, I actually have information about 5 that would be helpful with this discussion…2(不相信的眼神)Could you tell us?…4

Let?s see 搖色子..(說出多少點).sorry,bud….2

Wait, hang on , two together.roll again…..1

搖色子okay ,listening to me.(都很無奈)…it doesn?t matter if he buy lots of gifts ,because his families are vastly wealthy….2

What do you mean “vastly wealthy”?...1

Well, “wealthy” means a lot of money……”vastly” means even more…I ?m not sure what you

don?t understand…(都很無奈)...2

OK,I know they have money.i don?t think it?s that much….4

No,you?re wrong…..through my survey in a few decades, his familiers are?t just rich ,they?re Richie Rich rich….2

Well,so how much is that?..1

About halfway between xietingfeng and zhangbozhi….2

what?? The last time we went to the zoo….,that son made me buy him ice cream…3

4走出教室(哼著歌)listen,guys, I need to go call 5?s sister ,who I love so much…..so vastly much….4

OK….,so he is very rich …1

And he pay off all her credit cards…3

What??.damn it ,I could have date 5 for a coulp months….but I ?m not that kind of girl….we should really talk to 5….1

He?s not going to listen…he is in love….3

Can?t know what to do?.?.....now,excuse me,…I have to….搖色子….stay right here…..2

第四篇：英語話劇

I used to have my dream!

我有過夢想 旁白（謝秋霞）：

Now I am a freshman.These days I suddenly find how I cherish the memory of my previous life!In those days my classmates and I worked hard for our dreams!We even do not know what was tired.Therefore，we could study at night with our own hand lights and we could get up so early as the sky was still dark.What we only know was that we have our own dreams and we would not be ordinary people.However it seemd that everything is changing!I am beginning not to know who I am and what I am doing and where my ambitions are!Scene one: 鬧鈴響起

No.1（尹思陽）: Oh, my lady gaga!It is already 7:60!Get up!Quickly!Quickly!Get up!Get up!Get up!We are late!No.2（肖翠平）: What classes will have this morning? No.1: Let me see!Uh。。。English and RS!No.2: Oh, English? It’s so cool.I won’t go to the classroom!No.3（孫川）: Are you sure that we will have English at our first class? No.1: Uh……Yes!No.3: he he a o, he he a o ,he he he he(啄木鳥叫聲)，I just made a hard decision that I won’t go to the classroom too!No.4（陸坤）：I am three!No.1: Ok, as your good brother.I want to be four!No.2、No.3and No.4 together shout to No.1: No!As our respected and handsome and strong brother, you must go there in case of the teachers’ calling!No.1: Uh…… Ok, you know that When I smile like this :he he, in fact I am thinking that you are all fools in my heart!No.2、No.3 and No.4 together smile to No.1:He he……

Scene two:(No.1 has just gone!)No.2: Get up!Get up!It’s time to keep on playing our game!We have no time because of the coming examinations!Therefore we must speed up!No.3: Oh, yeah!No.2 is right!Come on No.4!No.4: Uh…….O…….K!At this time, a man break into the room!No.2、No.3 and No.4 feel puzzled!No.2 : Who are you?(并仔細的開始觀察他)好一會過后No.2如夢初醒！

No.2: No.feiwu? Are you No.feiwu? Oh, my dear feiwu.Long time no see!No.3 and No.4: Feiwu? He is feiwu? Oh, my god!Am I still sleeping?(掐對方)Er……I can’t feel any pain.No.4: A……

No.feiwu（李緣）: Do you have any money to borrow me? No.2、No.3 and No.4: No, it’s not the thing that we don’t

have t money to borrow to you!It is because that we don’t want you to keep on going to the net bar and we don’t want you to go on corrupt.(墮落的)No.feiwu: All of you are so stingy!(小聲的)No.2、No.3 and No.4 all keep quite, and begin to play their games!No.feiwu climb his own bed and begin to sleep.Scene three:（當

No.2、No.3、No.4玩的正興起的時候，No.4的電話響了）

No.4: Hello!My baby!How do you know that I am not in class? Girlfriend: Uh? Don’ t you forget about our appointment that you accompany with me to buy that lovely skirt by skipping our English class? No.4: How can it be possible!Girlfriend: Wuwuwu

…….you are lying!You just don’t love me!Wuwuwuw

…….No.4: Oh, my baby, I love you.I really love you!I was just preparing to see you!Wait me!I will go there in two minutes!

No.4:Feiwu, Lend me 100 yuan!No.feiwu: What?

Scene Four：

旁白：The time is so fast!It’s already 7:30 at p.m.No.4 was just coming from the supermarket with her girlfriend.No.4: How long do you play the game? No.3: Uh, all the time since you go.And we have only one barrier to pass now!How is your appointment?

No.4: Uh…..Don’t speak that!I In the supermarke ,She seemd like everything, but she only just have try at every store!Yeah , every store!Oh, my god!I nearly can’t put up with it!笑聲，近乎瘋狂但又深表同情的笑聲！

No.1、No.2 and No.3 together : Our girlfriends are the same!No.2: Oh, yeah!I pass it!No.1、No.3 and No.4：Really？ No.2: Yes!四人開始跳舞慶祝！

No1： Now shouldn’t we celebrate it by drinking something？ No.2、No.3 and No.4: Of course!We should!No.1: No.feiwu? would you join us to drink? No.feiwu: Uh…...Ok.But please be quite!I will call my mother for some money.全場肅靜！

Mum: Hello, my dear!Your money has used up, isn’t it? No.feiwu: Uh……

Mum：Ok.This time I will post 1000 yuan to you for the reason that I will go to Beijing to build houses in next two month!My son,you should eat well!Don’t think about the money!Your mother is still strong ,therefore, though without your father, I believe that I can help you finish your dream!Ok, that’s all!Now I go to post the money to you!電話掛斷后長長的尾音！《老男孩》歌曲響起！旁白：

Dream? What are our dreams? We used to tell ourselves that we can let our life become better and better!We can feed all of our family!We should have our own businesses!We won’t be ordinary people and so on!However, what are we doing? Playing computer games, skipping classes, drinking ……….That’s the way that we accomplish our dreams？Don’t we want to think that have we realize our previous dreams when we become old? Or we just let our own dreams accomplish by our children?

第五篇：英語話劇

荊珂刺秦王搞笑英語話劇劇本

旁白(Aside)/介紹（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I 太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(畫外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!太子丹高興狀)Thank u mirror!（面對觀眾）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister? 阿三(畢恭畢敬): Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作殺狀）

太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀最需要的是什么，人才！這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀）Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.Action II 主持人：Hello，everyone，Welcome to watch today's program。there will be a PK between Limochou and Jingke.who will be the winner ？I think all of you have different opinions，If you support your hero。Please vote for him。The way of participation:send your hero’s name to 00000.then you will have chances to take photo with him and get your hero’s autograph.ok, start fighting.（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時的音樂）荊軻

Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁 Yes.荊軻

OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁

Are you challenging me? 荊軻

Of course!聳聳肩表示同意李莫愁 Come on!音樂起 兩人沖上前來

“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。。” 李莫愁倒地 荊軻大笑

李莫愁痛苦狀：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?（贏一個人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）

李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.荊軻再次大笑

主持人：Mr Jingke，congratulations to you，how is your felling now？

荊軻：good！

主持人：I am your fan，can you be my master? 荊軻：ok,follow me.太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my Ladygaga!Could you give me a smart answer to “How are you”? 荊柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? 荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹暈倒

荊柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（畢恭畢敬）May I have your name card, please? 荊軻徒弟：maser,your bag.荊軻從兜里掏出一卷紙，上面寫著： To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero，we need your help.荊柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荊柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荊柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上場的美女，激動狀): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.荊柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荊柯;Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 觀眾甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM.太子丹：I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Slimming tea.It is a brand new product in China.荊柯（激動）：Slimming tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要嗎……

2（《江南styler》音樂起，荊軻,阿三，太子丹等人跳起舞。。荊柯(誠懇狀)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹與阿三（擊掌）Yeah!Action Ш

（《大話西游》主題曲響起）

荊珂挽著妻子，徒弟，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荊珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，阿三下。停頓。《泰坦尼克號》主題曲起，荊軻與妻子道別。荊珂（深情狀）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救贖》）

荊珂(流淚)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都會愛著你，選自《飄》)妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荊珂（欲走還留，執子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克號沉船時，Jack對Rose的傾訴）.妻子:“I promise.” 荊軻:“Never let go.“

妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go."

（荊軻的發音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克號》的臺詞。）妻子努力擠出幾滴眼淚，荊珂上船，漸漸遠去，徒弟相隨而去。

妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never……

妻子(掏出手機撥號，阿三接手機)： Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin.Acion IV 秦王：Oh，shit，you look so rude，prim，and ugly，why？why？ 荊軻徒弟：what？you said what？please say again，Iwill kill you。荊軻（拽了拽徒弟）：淡定。

秦王（怒斥狀）：please go out，otherwise，I will kill you。

徒弟：you make me awful，now，if you kill me，I won’t give you the map，you know？ 荊軻：sorry，we come here just want to make peace，please trust me。秦王：ok，please show me the map。<>音樂起

荊軻走上前去，（呈恭敬狀）:Sir,It’s the map.旁白：Jingke fight with King Qin,but,unluckly,Jing Ke was killed by King Qin.Then the story is over.