第一篇：英語話劇劇本.doc

第一種：家庭喜劇

演員: P: Pirate-Grandson.M: Mother.F: Father.K: King-Grandpa.旁白:

There are 4 members in a family, Pirate, a 7-year-old naughty boy.His mummy is a beautiful white-collar worker.His dad, Andy Lau is a famous singer, and his dear grandpa, King is a kindly old man.Pirate loves his grandpa most, because King is very spoiling him.He hates his parents.Frankly speaking, he is afraid of them, Because they are very strict with him..正劇：(P,K出場)P: Old King, Open the TV, I want to see Tom and Jerry.I love that mouse.Quick!No time!I can’t wait another second.K: Oh dear!I nearly forget it.Don’t worry, I open it right now.(作開電視狀)

P: Ha Ha!It’s really funny!Tom is so good!(作高興狀)

Oh no!“The End!” Where is Tom? I hate the end!(摔電視機，作極度氣憤狀Old King!?(對K吼)

K：Oh, what a pity dog!(作左顧右盼狀)Your parents are not here ,and we can change another one ,our brave Pirate, just tell me.I’m sure your demand will be satisfied.(作充滿自信狀)

P：Really!OK!Now, let’s watch Caribbean Pirates!

K: Humm, No, it’s unfit for you……(作猶豫狀)

P: I just like this film, Old King, you tell lies.You don’t keep your promise.（作氣憤欲泣狀）

K;Oh yes, I play it for you.(作為難狀)But please be quite, I’m afraid your parents wound not like us doing these.P: Don’t tell so much!I have been an adult man of 7 years old.I promise it to you.(作自豪自信狀)K：OK.(作舒心，安慰狀)

P: Fight him, kill him.Throw these bad guys into the sea……(高聲喊)

K: Xu ……..(作禁聲狀).Remember your promise, young adult man.P: Oh? What promise? I have forgotten it.(作天經地義狀)

K: Oh?!You are right（作理解狀，因為Pirate一貫如此，出爾反爾）

P: Old King.I give you an honorable mission.(作自豪狀)Be my horse, and I will ride on your back , let’s help these people in dangerous situation, just like a brave knight.(作勇敢狀)

K: What!Ride on my back!Be your horse！(作驚異狀)

P: Yes, your hearing is very good, any question?(作若無其事狀)

K: No, No, sound a good idea!Very good!You are a brave Pirate.Now come on my back.(作無奈狀)

P:(作高興狀，作躍上馬背狀)Hei!Let’s go!Kill all those bad men.Quick!Run quick!.......(意氣風發狀)（M,F攜手進場）:

P: Oh, my god!Mummy, Daddy!(A,D作慌忙狀，擋在電視機前)

M: Dad, what are you doing!? Naughty Pirate, isn’t your trick!?(作氣憤狀)P:（作陽痿狀）Mummy, it’s not my fault.Old king let me massage his back.Hei Hei(作心虛狀，以掩飾內心的恐懼)

M: I don’t believe it.(作嚴肅狀)Dad, isn’t really that?(詢問K)

K: Yes, of course, I can’t image a child only 5 year old, can massage so good.Oh…….(釋然狀，因為圓了我的謊)

M: Really.I don’t believe the litter pirate can massage, who taught him.(作懷疑狀)Dear, isn’t you ?

F: No, I haven’t, but I decide to enjoy his massage another day, Do you think so, dear?

M: Yes, really a good suggestion.（P，D作驚恐狀。A：發抖，D：揮汗)（P擋著電視怕被M、F發現，K也為P作掩飾）

P: Mummy, Do you feel a little cold? K: Yes, I can feel it.(邊揮汗邊說冷)

M: No, it’s summer.Really hot, do you catch cold?

P: No, No, just my feeling.(更加發抖，一不小心被B看到了電視)

M: Pirate, what’s behind you?(疑問狀)

P: Oh, nothing, nothing!(作驚恐狀)

M: Move away.little Pirate!(作氣憤狀)

P: Oh no!The storm will come.(捂臉作害怕狀)

M: Caribbean Pirate!What’s a bad film!Little Pirate!?(氣憤狀)

P: Mummy, I surrender.(作投降狀)

M: Daddy ,this film is unfit for him , it is full of killing，force and negative passion, and it will let him become bad!

K: I know that, but I meat to let him watch Tom and Jerry and he like it very much.Yes? Pirate?(想轉移話題與Pirate站在同一戰線)

P: Yes, a very clever mouse and a stupid cat.(作博學狀)

M: Dad, don’t let him watch so much TV, it wastes a lot of time, and it is bad for his eyesight.He may become short-sighted.(誠懇狀)

K: I know the disadvantage.But TV also teaches him a lot of things which he can’t learn from books, Such as survival ability and communication skills.(中氣不足狀，因為理由不充分)

M: Just those force, fighting and cheat?(置疑狀)

P: Mummy, I apologize that I have cheated you.(誠懇狀)I won’t do that next time.Can you forgive me this time, Mummy.(做鬼臉,逗媽媽開心)

M: Pick up trick.It doesn’t work this time.(義正言辭狀)

P: Mummy, not next time, ok?(作悲傷狀，以引起媽媽的同情)

(M不理P)

M: Dad.I know you love little pirate very much, but I think you should choose the right way.Spoiling is not true love.It’s the poison in honey.(作嚴肅狀)

F: Yes, Dad, Pirate has a lot of things to do.We should be his guide, not to carry out everything he said.We can bring him to the library to see what books attract him most.We can help him to develop his interest, shape his personality, and improve his intelligence and so on.I think it’s the right way to love our little Pirate.Do you think so, dear?(很理智，明晰狀)

M: It’s just what I want to say.(贊同狀)

F: Ok, I should change my way of loving him.I should let him do his own thing and be his guide.(作徹悟狀)

P: Oh, so much time has passed.I eager to go to wash room, I can’t bear it.(捂小腹，作難受狀)

K: Ok, I go to bring the paper, don’t worry!I’ll accompany with you.(作習慣性狀，因為Pirate的大小便通常都由King主管)

M、F：No, let him do that himself, and be his guide.(同聲提醒K)

K: Oh, yes, little Pirate, it’s your job now, nobody can help.You should do it yourself.(作揶揄狀)

P: Xi, I have been an adult man of 7 years old.I can do it.(跨進廁所，作藐視狀，有什么大不了，不就進個廁所嗎)

M、F、K: Brave Pirate!(作自豪狀，含有夸獎意)

P: Oh, my god!The washroom is so large and dark!(害怕狀，因為從末一個人進廁所)

M、F、K:(All 暈倒)

—— The End

第二種：旅游類

One day, the class is over,student A and B walk together.）

A: Labour Day is coming, we should relax a little on vacation, what are you going to do.B:I have no idea no.How about you?

A:I intend to go to the Baotu Spring,It’s said that it is a good interest of place.B:En,yes,it is the first spring of the world.A: Why not go with me? I believe you will be satisfied with it.B: About it let me think.(Student A and B come acoss C.)

C:Hi!What do you discuss?

A:Hi!We are talking about the plan of the Labor Day.C:Where do you plan to go?

A: Baoto Spring.Visit together?

C: Oh!No!I have been there in the Tomb Sweeping Day.B:Really?How about the sight of it?

C:Very great!There are so many birds and trees.When I go there I was attracted by the beauty of the scenery deeply.B:Really?

C:Yes.The surroundings is so good,beyond description.There are some photoes in my moblephone,have a look.B:How great!Is this Baotu Spring?

C:Oh,no!It is Baizheng Spring.In fact,there are many other springs,such as Mapao Spring,Dukang Spring whose funtain(泉水)is so clear and

sweet.A:It sounds great!Are there some fishes in these springs?You know I like fish very much.C: Oh.There are many kinds of fishes with different colors, red, black, even colorful.I am sure you will be lost in the beautiful scenery.B:En,it is a great meal to eyes.My desire to visit there become stronger and stronger.C:It is only a part of the Baotu Spring.A:It is said that there are many historical relics,such as Memorical Hall of Li Qingzhao.C:Oh,yes!Except it,Jinan Massacre(慘案)Memorical Hall is also worth visiting.The Massacre is our stigma(恥辱),which happened on May Third.A: It is of great significance to pay a visit on Labor Day.B: Wonderful!I decide to visit there.A:Ok！

C:May you have a good time!

A:Thank you!What about you ?

C:En,I want to climb Mount Tai.A:Mount Tai?Unattainable feeling!

B:It is so famous for its majesty(雄偉).A:When you go there?I mean when you climb the Mount Tai,Evening?

C:Of course.I intend to watch the sunrise.The view from the top of the hill was superb(美麗極了).B:A good pursuit!I hear that the top of the Mount Tai is very cold,you’d better wear enough clothes.A: en, health and strength is above all gold.C: Oh, yes!Thanks for your advice.Now I have to search some information about how to get to Mount Tai.See you later!

A:Take care of yourself!

B:See you!

D: Hi, what are you doing? Is it Student C?

B: Oh, he is busy preparing to go on holiday.D: Holiday?

A: En, yes, Labor Day, we intend to go to Baotu Spring.What’s your plan?

D: Oh, I don’t have an idea.Now I’m not sure if I have a free time.B: Why? What happened?

D: you know, I have applied for the National Sports Volunteer, the train may be started recently.B: That is a pity!

D: Yeah, I’ve always wanted to climb Mount Tai.As a Shandong person, it is very pity not to climb Mount Tai.A: Never mind.It’s also meaningful to train as a volunteer.D: Of course, on the other hand, my dream can also come true on Summer Day, in a word;I believe I can reach the top of Mount Tai some day.B: May you make it!

A: Where there is a will there’s a way.D: Thanks, have a wonderful time, see you later.A: See you!

第二篇：英語話劇劇本

英語話劇劇本：4人英語話劇 Another day in paradise 場景簡單，語言適中，4個主要人物，推薦。適合課上演出，很有意義，關于親情

Characters: Angel: A chief broadcaster.Anny: A primary school girl who had called so much in order to look for her mother.Anny’s father Anny’s teacher Anny’s classmates Divide the stage into two parts.On the left: Children’s ward, a chair, some flowers.On the right: A desk, a chair, a lamp, some books.(幕啟，舞臺左半亮，右半暗)(The phone is ringing)Old woman: Hello!Anny（怯生生地）: Hello, I, I want mum.Is that mum? Old woman: Oh, I’m granny.I’m not mum.Anny: I’m sorry.（電話掛斷聲，撥號聲又起）A young woman: Hello!Anny（怯生生地）: Hello!I want mum.Is that mum? Young woman: Are you joking? I’m not married.（電話繼續響，右半舞臺亮）Angel: Hello!Anny（鼓起勇氣）: I want mum.Is that mum? Angel: Who’s that speaking? Anny: I’m Anny, your Anny.Angel: Anny？（充滿疑惑）。（略為思索后，用母親的聲調）Where are you? Anny（仿佛遇見母親，忍不住哭起來）: Mum,（哭聲，欲語淚先流，又猛然驚覺）Mum, mum, I’m not crying.Angel（安慰地，擔心地）: You are a nice little girl.Anny: Mum, why don’t you come to see me? Dad says you will come back if I am well behaved.Mum, don’t you miss me? Angel（慈愛地）: Of course, I do.I do miss you? Anny: Really? Angel: Yes.I miss you so much.Anny: Mummy!Angel: En? Anny: Mummy!Angel: Yes? Anny（笑若銀鈴）(Angel 慈愛地笑，心略有所安)Anny(突然又哭了): But mummy, why don’t you come back? I’m ill.Angel（關切地）: Anny, where are you? Tell me, where are you? Anny: Mummy, I’m in hospital now.I felt pain, but I didn’t cry.Dad says the one who cries is not a good girl.Then you won’t come back.Mummy, can you come back to see me? I’m waiting for you with no tears.Angel: Anny, I’m, I’m not? Oh, yes, mummy will come back to see you（Dad推門入，見Anny在打電話，連忙奪過）Dad: I’ve told you not to call anybody else.（對著電話）Sorry, I’m really sorry.The child has disturbed you.Angel: Never mind.I’m a mother, too.I understand her.May I know the truth? Dad: Eh?, her mum isn’t here.So she called and called.Angel: Where’s Anny’s mother? You divorced? Dad: No, no.I hope she would come back.But?

Angel: You don’t trust in me? I’m Angel, the chief broadcaster of the hot line.Dad（回頭看Anny）: Then, I’ll tell you the truth some other day.Angel:All right.(燈暗景換)On the left: Anny’s sitting room.On the right: Anny’s classroom.（左右同時演繹）Left: Dad: Anny’s mum passed away in a tracffic accident six years ago.She told me to hide the truth.This is the letter for Anny.Right: Teacher: Children, in this class.Let’s enjoy Anny’s composition “A letter to mummy”.Angel, Anny同時，時空錯接，音樂起)Angel: Anny, my dearest baby!Anny: Mummy, my dearest mummy!Angel: When we played hide and seek, I was found easily.Anny: When we played hide and seek, I could found you easily.Angel: But this time, you can’t find me.Anny: But this time, I can’t find you.Angel: Baby, we have a date.When you are 14, you can find me.Anny: Mummy, we have a date.Dad says when I am 14, I can find you.Angel: Baby, the game lasts so long.I wonder if you have the courage to go on.Anny: Mummy, don’t worry.I grow up with your arms around me in my dream.Angel: Anny, if the time is so long, mummy will talk with you when you are looking at our photo.Anny: Mum, the letter you left to me is so long.I read it every night, again and again.Angel: Anny, your birthday present is on the wardrobe.Anny: Mummy, I’ve known the truth.Every time I take a bus, I can see your dad eyes.Angel: Anny, I’m really worried if you will be so sad after your 14th birthday.Is there anyone to love you all his life? Anny: Mummy, I’ll never give up.I believe there is a call to the paradise.I will love Dad.I will love myself.I can fly with my own wings one day.Angel: Anny, my dear.Anny: Mummy, be safe all the way.There are no tears in paradise.(燈亮，謝幕)

第三篇：英語話劇劇本

英語話劇劇本

在一個鳥語花香的一個早上，站長一如既往地坐在辦公室，一邊翹著二郎腿，一邊單手拿起一本咖啡喝。在他的眼里，他覺得，今天又是一個休閑的日子，只要坐在辦公室，有空出去外面巡查一下環境，就可以回家看電視去了。但他沒有想到，今天在他的身邊竟然會發生一些令他抓破頭皮的事情。

他喝完咖啡，慢悠悠地走出值班室，挺著一個大肚子，威武地巡視著地鐵站內的人群。每個人都匆匆地來匆匆地去，從來沒有留意過身邊的人和事。站長這個時候伸伸懶腰，正準備回值班室大睡一覺的時候，突然不知道哪里出來的一個人把他撞倒了。站長甩了一個跟頭，挺笨拙地爬起來剛想大罵一頓的時候，卻首先聽到一把聲音，有點怯懦地說：“對不起對不起” 站長這個時候擦擦眼睛，開始打量眼前的這個人：他的衣著很隨意，臟兮兮的樣子，而且還帶著一副墨鏡。站長就開始罵了：“你沒長眼睛嗎？這樣也能撞上我！”然后那個人就回答說：“我是一個盲人，我都看不到要在哪里候車了。”站長聽了之后，也見到他是一個殘疾人，便說：“沒事啦，我是這里的站長，如果你不知道哪里候車的話，可以咨詢一下當班的值班員嘛。不過既然你遇上了我，我就幫你帶路吧。”這時候盲人也說了一聲：“好的，非常感謝你。”于是，站長讓盲人一手牽著他，一手摸著扶手，慢慢地下樓梯到乘車站臺。站長拖著盲人慢慢地走，突然腳底下一絆，整個人又甩了一跤，幸好盲人一手扶著墻壁沒有摔倒。這時候站長發火了，起來就說一句：“特么的是誰！”這一次沒有人回答他。于是站長低頭一看，有一個乘客正躺在地上一動也不動了。站長于是就怕了，馬上松開牽著盲人的手，盲人覺察到不對勁，就問：“發生什么事了”站長結結巴巴地回答：“地…地上…躺…躺著…一個人啊！！”盲人顯然要比站長冷靜：“快去看一下他是否還活著”于是站長彎下腰，問一句：“先生請問你還清醒嗎？”沒有回應。于是站長又彎下腰用耳朵貼著他的胸口聽他的心跳聲，可是出人意料地聽不到。站長這時候怕了，他用手擦了一下額頭的汗，然后又顫抖地把手伸向躺著的人鼻子，誰知道這時候傳來呼呼的鼻鼾聲。站長定了一下驚，然后又聞了一下他的衣服，一股很濃烈的酒精味，大概是喝醉酒了吧。于是站長讓醉酒的人繼續躺著，扶了盲人上車之后，然后就來看了一下醉酒的人，結果發現還沒醒。站長本來想著呼叫值班員前來幫忙，但正是午飯時間，值班室空無一人，又不能置醉酒人一直在這里，于是自己便背起醉酒人爬上樓梯直到回到值班室。此時的站長已經氣喘吁吁地，累個半死之下于是什么都不管了，躺在地上呼呼地睡著了…

第四篇：英語話劇劇本

Have you finished packing？ 情景一

Mike :Hi, we are going to take advantage ofour two weeks vacation to have a relaxed trip.So where do you want to go for our trip?

Mina :Awesome!I am looking forward to going to London.!we are going to take advantage of the beautiful London’s scenery in the winter and have a” winter date week”Dave : Oh, that sounds nice!London is always extremelypretty this time of year.I just love it!

Mike: Nice , but this long distance trip is starting to wear me down.I amthinking that we’d do a little hiking.No matter where we gobut there is a really nice trail about five hour away from our house.It’s through the woods and so I’m sure it will look beautiful.Mina: Oh ,brother, You know that London is the place where I really want to go.I had read online that it was a decent place ,and I can’t forget how beautiful that is!

Dave : I agree with Mina.We have two weeks vacation not two days, sowe should have a long trip.Mike: Ok, ok, I guess I’ll agree to that , but only on one condition.市銷話劇第二組

Mina and Dave: what’s that?

Mike: I want take some beautiful photos in this vacation ,so you must promisethat there are many beautiful sceneriesin the place where we go for trip.Mina: London is home to some of the most iconic attractions in the word from historic landmarks such as the Tower of London to more recent constructions likes the London Eye.So there is no need to worry about that.Dave: I believe that you will be snapping away like crazy.So we will go to London.情景二

Mike : what should we prepare for our trip? We should make a plan before we start packing.Mina :Sounds like a good idea.We should get the tourist visa and book plane tickets.Dave :Oh ,dear, How about my plants and dog?

Mike : Don’t worry ,how about give our house key to Haining Zhang, and she will take care of our house when we out.Mina : That sounds great.What’s more don’t forget to unplug TV and electrical stuff.Mike :So I will call Haining zhang.But where is my cell phone?市銷話劇第二組

Oh, my cell phone!I lost my cell phone!

Dave :The kitchen.It’s in the kitchen.I saw it this morning.Mike :I get it.Ta-dah

Mina and Dave are packing.Haining: Hi, Mike ,this is Haining Zhang, how are you ? Mike : I am fine ,and you ?

Haining: I am fine , anythingalse?

Mike : Dear, we well have a two weeks trip, could you take care of our house in that time.Haining : Ok, no problem.What can I do for you?

Mike : Could you water my plants and feed my dog? I don’t want to put the dog in the kennel.Haining : Sure, it’s my pleasure.Have you finished packing? Mike : yeah , I have finished everything.Dave and Mina are packing now.these two they’re never prepared.Mina : Oh my god, where is my wallet!I can’t find it anywhere.Mike Bathroom.Mina : Are you sure? So strange.(hold up he wallet)I get it.Dave : Where is the tourist visa and tickets, and do you know where I put it ?

市銷話劇第二組

Mike : Here, on the table.Dave get it.Mina :Mike!we’ll be late!Let’s go!

Haining :Have a great trip!

Mina ,Mike ,Dave, Bye , Haining.Mike : Does everyone have everything?

Mina , Dave: Yep!

Mike , Let’s go!

情景三

Dave :I don’t remember where I put the tourist visa and plane tickets.Mike: Oh ,no!there are only one hour left.Dave : Let me think, oh ,there it is ,I put it on the dresser.Mike ,Mina : what a relief!now ,London here come!

市銷話劇第二組

第五篇：英語話劇劇本

英語話劇劇本：5人英語話劇劇本-Yes Means No(似是而非)本文來自: 教客網劇本大全(http://)詳細出處參考：http:// Summary:

Teddy Lawson is going to marry Edith Merrill and he asks his father, Mr.Lawson, to finance his honeymoon.However, Teddy's father wants him to learn to say NO first because Teddy always says YES to everyone who makes a request.They make a deal that Mr.Lawson will give Teddy one hundred dollars for every time Teddy says NO in half an hour, but if Teddy says YES just once, Teddy forfeits every NO-Mr.Lawson's secretary, Miss Collins, will make the strict account of every NO.In order to have a nice honeymoon, Teddy tries hard to carry out his father's orders and answer NO as many as possible to everything asked, even though he is running the risks of breaking his father's deal with T.J.Morgan and losing his own sweet heart--Edith Merrill...TEDDY:(Coming to his father's desk L.)

Dad, there's something I want to tell you.LAWSON: Oh, is that so!What is it?

TEDDY: Well, Dad, I've just proposed to Edith Merrill and she's accepted me.LAWSON: Going to get married, eh? When do you intend doing this?

TEDDY: Right away.That's why I wanted to see you, and of course I know you'll finance the honeymoon.LAWSON: Oh...I will, will I?(Pounds desk, rises and comes to Teddy C.)I'll tell you that I'm ashamed of you.You haven't any backbone...you can't say NO!I left you in charge of my business last week just to see how you'd conduct it.And you did great.Ha!...If I'd stayed away another week, you'd have ruined me(Strolls up C.)TEDDY: I did the best I could!

LAWSON: Then you'd make a fine business man.(Coming down C.)The most essential thing in a business man's life is to be able to say “NO.” At all times NO.Especially in a credit business like mine.But you said YES to everyone who asked for extra time.(Takes a few steps L.)

TEDDY: But they always cried to me and I just couldn't say “no.”

LAWSON: Well, you'll learn to say “no” before I finance any honeymoon.(Lawson is below desk L.Phone rings, Lawson turns to his desk, grabs phone quickly and sits down.)Lawson talking...!(Listens a second.)NO！!I...said...NO.(Listens again.)Then I'll foreclose.That's final..NO!(Lawson hangs up receiver.Turns to Teddy.)That's how I make my money..being able to say NO..NO..NO.(Pounds desk with each “No!” Rises and comes to Teddy C.)And that's the way I want my son to be before he shoulders the responsibility of marriage.TEDDY: Well, give me another chance, Dad...and I'll try to make good.LAWSON:(He sneers the last Word and takes a stroll up C.)Do you mean it?

TEDDY: You bet I do

LAWSON:(Coming down L of Teddy.)

TEDDY: All right...I'll give you another chance.You want money for a honeymoon?...Very well!You take charge of this office while I go to lunch and I'll give you one hundred dollars for every time you say NO.LAWSON: One hundred dollars?

TEDDY: Right!Do you think you can do it? LAWSON: I'll try.TEDDY:(Crosses R to Miss Collins.)Miss Collins, I want you to remain in this office with my son while I'm gone.You can sit at my desk.(Miss Collins doesn't move immediately.)NOW!(She jumps and crosses stage.)

COLLINS: Yes, sir!

LAWSON:(Crosses L.)And I don't want you to leave it for a second.Understand?(Miss Collins nods.)And I want you to keep strict account of every time my son says NO.But remember, if he answers YES just once...he forfeits every “NO.”(Turning to Teddy.)Are you on? TEDDY: Yes.(He realizes what he has said and clasps hand over his mouth.)

LAWSON:(Crossing R to door, taking coat and hat from hall-tree.)Very well.You'll be in charge here for one-half hour...(Looks at watch.)Now remember...not one “Yes.”...It must be “NO” to everything.(Lawson exits and slams door.)(Teddy stands for a second smiling.Phone rings, and he rushes across stage to phone on desk L, and picking it up shouts into it.TEDDY: NO..POSITIVELY NO!(Hangs up.Strolls across stage, grinning at Miss Collins, who is amazed.)That's two...put them down.COLLINS:(Writing.)Yes, sir.(Phone rings.Teddy grabs it again, while Miss Collins warns him to be careful.)You better hear who it is, sir.It may be important.TEDDY: Hello?(Repeating what is said to him.)Is Mr.Lawson in? NO!Do I mind speaking for him? NO!What?...NO!

COLLINS:(Rising and pleading.)Don't you think you'd better hang up, sir?

TEDDY:(To Miss Collins.)No.Put them all down...there were five of them.(Into phone.)No, no, no!(Raising three fingers to Miss Collins.)I wasn't talking to you...I was talking to Mr.Lawson's secretary.What? No!I should worry? No!(Hangs up.Laughing heartily at his results so far.)COLLINS:(Fearfully.)Aren't you going a little too far, sir?

TEDDY: No!There's another.Are you keeping strict account of them?(Crosses to desk L.)How many are there?

COLLINS: Just...just thirteen, sir.TEDDY:(Taking C and dancing a step.)Thirteen, eh? COLLINS: But isn't that an unlucky number, sir?

TEDDY: No!That makes fourteen!(Teddy crosses to desk R.)Well, that's a trip to California, anyway.(Phone rings.But this time Miss Collins gets it first.)

COLLINS: Hullo? Just a second, please.(Now to Teddy in a whisper.)It's T.J.Morgan to see your father.TEDDY: No!

COLLINS: Shall I tell him to come back?

TEDDY: No!

COLLINS: But he wants to know if he can see Mr.Lawson? TEDDY: Tell him NO!(Emphatically.Crosses R.)

COLLINS:(Into phone.)No!(Hangs up.)

TEDDY:(Enjoying it all immensely.)Add three more to the list.How many is that now?(Teddy crosses to desk L.)(At this point T.J.Morgan rushes into room unceremoniously.)MORGAN: What's the idea of telling me I can't see Lawson? Is he in?(Comes C as Teddy circles below him to R.)

TEDDY: No!(Miss Collins keeps marking every “no.”)

MORGAN:(Turning to Miss Collins L.)Then who said Lawson wouldn't see me? Was it you?(Mill Collins starts to answer but Teddy butts in.)

TEDDY: No!(Hoists a finger for Miss Collins to get the additional “no” on the record.)

MORGAN:(Turning back to Teddy R.)Oh, then it was you?

TEDDY:(Gulping.)No!

MORGAN:(Confused.)Then who was it? Was there anybody else in the office? TEDDY: No!

MORGAN: Can't you say anything but “NO-O-O!?” TEDDY:(Imitating his dragged out “No.”)“NO-O-O!”

MORGAN:(Waving his hand in disgust.)You're a silly ass...Will you deny that? TEDDY: For a hundred dollars?..NO!(Signals Miss Collins to add it on the list.)

MORGAN: You're impossible.You tell him that T.J.Morgan was here to see him about that lumber deal.He likes to make money the same as everybody, doesn't he?

TEDDY: Why...er..NO!

MORGAN: What?(He shakes his finger in Teddy's face.)Do you mean to tell me he's not interested in that lumber deal any more?(Miss Collins tries to speak.Morgan turns to her quickly.)Were you going to say something? TEDDY: No..Shefifteen-

TEDDY: Don't skip any.COLLINS: Just forty-six, sir.TEDDY:(Excitedly, taking stage.)Forty-six? Why, it'll be a trip around the world.I must make it an even fifty.(Offstage R, Lawson's voice is heard in warm argument.)

LAWSON: You just come in here with me.We'll see what this is all about.(He enters swiftly, followed by Edith and Mr.Morgan.They surround Teddy who has sneaked to C, half frightened.)Now Miss Merrill, ask him before me.EDITH:(Half crying.)Didn't you tell me your father paid you to break off our engagement? TEDDY: NO!(She staggers back amazed.)

MORGAN: When I asked you about the lumber deal, what did you say? TEDDY: NO!

LAWSON:(Coming toward Teddy and shaking his fist.)Don't you know any better than that? TEDDY: NO!(Calling to Miss Collins on opposite side.)That makes fifty！!

LAWSON:(Bewildered)What's the idea?

TEDDY: The idea is that I've carried out your orders...I haven't said one...(Catches himself.)what you said not to say.LAWSON:(Shaking fist in Teddy's face.)Do you think I'm a complete idiot? TEDDY: No!(To Miss Collins.)There's another one...put it down.LAWSON:(To Miss Collins.)Don't you DARE put that down.I've had enough of this.MORGAN:(Approaching Lawson L, and brushing Teddy aside.)I think I understand it all now.It was a joke.LAWSON: Absolutely!(Going to door R with Morgan.)We'll talk it over at the club tonight.(Morgan exits R.)TEDDY:(Meeting his father C, and grasping his coat lapel.)Make a check for me...for five thousand dollars.Fifty “No's,” you know.LAWSON:(Crossing to desk L.)How could anyone say fifty “No's” in fifteen minutes?

Imagine what I could do in an hour.My middle name is Speed.LAWSON: All right, I'm the goat.I'll give you the check.Then use some of that speed in getting out of here.(He turns to desk L, and sees Miss Collins seated at it.)Well, what are you doing at my desk?

COLLINS:(Rising, frightened.)Why, you told me to sit here, sir.Shall I go to my own desk, sir? LAWSON:(Shouting.)YES!(Miss Collins crosses R, to her own desk.)TEDDY:(Crossing to his father's desk.)Did I hear you say YES?

LAWSON: NO!(Writes in checkbook.)

EDITH:(Coming to Teddy C.)Oh, Teddy, I see it all now.“No” meant “Yes”..when you said “no.”

TEDDY: “No”..“Yes”...wait...When I said “No”...when I said...I...(Conflised.)Oh, I only know we are going on a honeymoon.(They kiss and embrace.)

LAWSON:(Rises with check in hand and comes C.)Here's your check.I made it out for ten thousand instead of five, because ten will take you farther away and keep you away longer.TEDDY:(Taking check and looking at it.)Why, Dad!You're wonderful..you're marvelous..you're...(Changing tone.)IS IT GOOD?(Father swells with satisfaction on praise, but turns furiously on last line.)Well, come on, darling.Good-bye, Dad...(They both start for door R.)(Teddy catches hand of Edith who waits for him in door R, and they plunge off happily together.)(Lawson and Miss Collins stare after them, Miss Collins chuckling with delight.)The End

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