第一篇：TED演講 20歲光陰不再來

When I was in my 20s,I saw my very first psychotherapy(心理診療)client.I was a Ph.D.student in clinical psychology(臨床心理學)at Berkeley.She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy(寬松的)top,and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now when I heard this,I was so relieved.My classmate got an arsonist(縱火犯)for her first client.And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys.This I thought I could handle.But I didn't handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session,it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.“Thirty's the new 20,”Alex would say,and as far as I could tell,she was right.Work happened later,marriage happened later,kids happened later,even death happened later.Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.But before long,my supervisor(導師)pushed me to push Alex about her love life.I pushed back.I said,“Sure,she's dating down,”(她的對象很差勁)she's sleeping with a knucklehead(傻瓜),but it's not like she's going to marry the guy.“And then my supervisor said,”Not yet,but she might marry the next one.Besides,the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one.(結婚之前)“That's what psychologists call an ”Aha!“moment(頓悟時刻).That was the moment I realized,30 is not the new 20.Yes,people settle down later than they used to,but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime.(沒錯，現在人們結婚的年齡比以前大一些，但這并沒有使Alex的20歲成為發展的擱淺期。)That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot,and we were sitting there blowing(揮霍)it.That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect(善意的忽視)was a real problem,and it had real consequences,not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysometings everywhere.There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now.We're talking about 15 percent of the population,or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.(都要先經歷過他們的20歲才能進入成年)If you work with twentysomthings,you love a twentysomething,you're losing sleep over twentysomethings,I want to see----Okay.Awesome,twentysometings really matter.So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists,sociologists,neurologists and fertility specialists already know:that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest,yet most transformative,things you can do for work,for love,for your happiness,maybe even for the world.This is not my opinion.These are the facts.We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35.That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and ”Aha!“moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s.We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn.We konw that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30.We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt(高峰)in your 20s as it rewires(開啟…模式)itself for adulthood,which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself,now is the time to change it.we know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life,and we know that female fertility peaks(生育能力高峰)at age 28,and things get tricky after age 35.So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.So when we think about child development,we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain.It's a time when your ordinary,day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become.But what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development,and our 20s are the critical period of adult development.But this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing.(但是很少有人告訴20多歲的人這些話。)Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood.Researchers call the 20s an ectended adolescence(青春的延長期).Journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like ”twixters“(夾在中間者)and ”kidults“（成年孩子）.As a culture,we have trivialized(習慣忽視)what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things,you need a plan and not quit enough time.So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say,”You have 10 extra years to start your life“?Nothing happens.You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition,and absolutely nothing happens.And then every day,smart,interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this:”I know my boyfriend's no good for me,but this relationship doesn't count.I'm just killing time.“Or they say,”Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30,I'll be fine.“But then is starts to sound like this:”My 20s are almost over,and I have nothing to show for myself.I had a better resume the day after I graduated from college.“And then it starts to sound like this:”Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs(搶椅子).Everybody was running around and having fun,but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down.I didn't want to be the only one left standing up,so sometimes I think I married my husband,because he was the closest chair to me to 30.“Do not do that.Okay,now that sounds a little flip,but make no mistake,the stakes(風險)are very high.When a lot has been pushed to your 30s,there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career,pick a city,partner up(結婚),and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time.Many of those things are incompatible(互不相容的),and as research is just starting to show,simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.The post-millennial midlife crisis(千禧年后的中年危機)isn't by a red sports car.It's realizing you can't have that career you now want.It's realizing you can't have that child you now want,or you can give your child a sibling(姊妹).Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves,and at me,sitting across the room and say about their 20s,”What was I doing?What was I thinking?“I want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.Here's a story about how that can go.It's a story about a woman named Emma.At 25,Emma came to my office because she was,in her words,having an identity crisis.She said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment,but she hadn't decided yet,so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead.Because it was cheaper,she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition.And as hard as her 20s were,her early life had been even harder.She often cried in our sessions,but then would collect(安慰)herself by saying,“You can't pick your family,but you can pick your friends.”Well one day,Emma comes in,and she hangs her head in her lap,and she sobbed for most of the hour.She'd just bought a new address book,and she'd spend the morning filling in her many contacts,but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words”In case of emergency,please call….“She was nearly hysterical(歇斯底里)when she looked at me and said,“Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck?Who's going to take care of me if I have cancer?”Now in that moment,it took everything I had not to say,”I will.“But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist(心理醫師)who really,really cared.Emma needed a better life,and I knew this was her chance.I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex to just sit there while Emma's defining decade went parading by.So over the next weeks and months,I told Emma,three things that every twentysomething,male or female,deserves to hear.First,I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital(身份資本).By get identity capital,I mean do something that adds value to who you are.Do something that's an investment(投資)in who you might want to be next.I didn't know the future of Emma's career,and no one knows the future of work,but I do know this:Identity capital begets identity capital.(身份資本會成為身份的資本)So now is the time for that cross-country job,that internship,that startup you want to try.I'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here,but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count(我是在勸誡你們不要做無謂的探索),which,by the way,is not exploration,That's procrastination(拖延).I told Emma to explore work and make it count.Second,I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated(不要坐井觀天).Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport,but twentysomethings who huddle together(交往)with like-minded peers limit who they know,what they think,how they speak,and where they work.That new piece of capital,that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle.New things come from what are called our weak ties(新事物來自于我們所謂的弱關系),our friends of friends of friends.So yes,half of twentysomethings are un-or under-employed.But half aren't,and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group.(弱關系就是你進入那個群體的途徑)Half of new jobs are never posted,so reaching out to your neighbor's boss,is how you get that un-posted job.(有一半的新工作是沒有招聘信息的，所以去問你鄰居的老板，是你得到那個沒有招聘信息的工作的方法。)It's not cheating.It's the science of how information spreads.(這不是走后門，信息就是這樣傳播的)Last but not least,Emma believed that you can't pick your family,but you can pick your friends.Now this was true for her growing up,but as a twentysomething,soon Emma would pick her famile when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own.I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now.Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20,or even 25,and I agree with you.But grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle(婚姻的殿堂)is not progress(是行不通的).The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one,and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work.Picking your family is about consciously(理智地)choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.So what happened to Emma?Well.we went through that address book,and she found an old roommate's cousin who worked at an art museum in another state.That weak tie helped her get a job there.That job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend.Now,five years later,she's a special events planner for museums.She's married to a man she mindfully(謹慎地)chose.She loves her new career,she loves her new family,and she sent me a card that said,”Now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough."Now Emma's story made that sound easy,but that's what I love about working with twentysomethings.They are so easy to help.Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX,bound for somewhere west.Right after takeoff,a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji.Likewise,at 21 or 25 or even 29,one good conversation,one good break,one good TED Talk,can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.So here's an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know.It's as simple as what I learned to say to Alex.It's what I now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like Emma every single day:Thirty is not the new 20,so claim your adulthood,get some identity capital,use your weak ties，pick your family.(30歲不是一個新的20歲，所以認清你的成年期，獲得一些身份資本，利用你的不那么直接的關系，選擇你的家人。)Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do.(不要被你不知道的或是沒有做過的事所限制)You're deciding your life right now.

第二篇：20歲光陰不再來(英)

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client.I was a Ph.D.student in clinical psychology at Berkeley.She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.Now Alex walked into her first session, wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now when I heard this, I was so relieved.My classmate got an arsonist for her first client.And I got a twenty-something who wanted to talk about boys.This I thought I could handle.But I didn't handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.“Thirty's the new 20,” Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right.Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later.Twenty-something like Alex and I had nothing but time.But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life.I pushed back.I said, “Sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy.”And then my supervisor said,“ Not yet, but she might marry the next one.Besides, the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one.”That's what psychologists call an “Aha!” moment.That was a moment I realized,30 is not the new 20.Yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn’t make Alex’s 20s a developmental downtime.That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it.That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twenty-somethings everywhere.There are 50 million twenty-somethings in the United States right now.We're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.I specialize in twenty-somethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twenty-somethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.This is not my opinion.These are the facts.We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35.That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and “Aha!” moments that

make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s.People who are over 40, don't panic.This crowd is going to be fine, I think we know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn.We know that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30.We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it.We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28,and things get tricky after age 35.So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain.It's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become.But what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.But this isn't what twenty-somethings are hearing.Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood.Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence.Journalists coin silly nicknames for twenty-somethings like “twixters” and “kidults.” It's true.As a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time.Isn't that true? So what do you think happens when you pat a twenty-something on the head and you say, “You have 10 extra years to start your life”? Nothing happens.You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.And then every day, smart, interesting twenty-somethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this:“I know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count.I'm just killing time.”Or they say, “Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine.”But then it starts to sound like this:“My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself.I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college.” And then it starts to sound like this:“Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs.Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was

like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down.I didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.” Do not do that.Okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high.When a lot has been pushed to your 30s,there is enormous thirty-something pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time.Many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.The post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car.It's realizing you can't have that career you now want.It's realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't give your child a sibling.Too many thirty-somethings and forty-somethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s,“What was I doing? What was I thinking?” I want to change what twenty-somethings are doing and thinking.Here's a story about how that can go.It's a story about a woman named Emma.At 25, Emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis.She said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment, but she hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead.Because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition.And as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder.She often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, “You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends.”Well one day, Emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour.She'd just bought a new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words “In case of emergency, please call …”She was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, “Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck? Who's going to take care of me if I have cancer?” Now in that moment, it took everything I had not to say, “I will.”But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared.Emma needed a better life, and I knew this was her chance.I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex to just sit there while Emma's defining decade went parading by.So over the next weeks and months, I told Emma three things that every twenty-something, male or female, deserves to hear.First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital.By getting identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are.Do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next.I didn't know the future of Emma's career, and no one knows the future of work, but I do know this: Identity capital begets identity capital.So now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try.I'm not discounting twenty-something exploration here, but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration.That's procrastination(拖延).I told Emma to explore work and make it count.Second, I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated.Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twenty-somethings who huddle together with like-minded peers’ limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work.That new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle.New things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends.So yes, half of twenty-somethings are un-or under-employed.But half aren't, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group.Half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that un-posted job.It's not cheating.It's the science of how information spreads.Last but not least, Emma believed that you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends.Now this was true for her growing up, but as a twenty-something, soon Emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own.I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now.Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and I agree with you.But grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress.The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work.Picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.So what happened to Emma? Well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate's cousin who worked at an art museum in another state.That weak tie helped her get a job there.That job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend.Now, five years later, she's a special events planner for museums.She's married to a man she mindfully chose.She loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, “Now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough.”Now Emma's story made that sound easy, but that's what I love about working with twenty-somethings.They are so easy to help.Twenty-somethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX, bound for somewhere west.Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji.Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29,one good conversation, one good break, one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.So here's an idea worth spreading to every twenty-something you know.It's as simple as what I learned to say to Alex.It's what I now have the privilege of saying to twenty-somethings like Emma every single day: Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family.Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do.You're deciding your life right now.

第三篇：20歲光陰不再來演講稿

20歲光陰不再來演講稿

光陰似箭，日月如梭。二十年或許是彈指一揮間，也是人生中最重要的組成部分。以下是小編收集的20歲光陰不再來演講稿，僅供大家閱讀參考!

20歲光陰不再來演講稿_ 20歲光陰不再來ted英文演講稿

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client.I was a student in clinical psychology at Berkeley.She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top(寬松的上衣), and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats(平底鞋)and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now when I heard this, I was so relieved.My classmate got an arsonist(縱火犯)for her first client.(Laughter)And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys.This I thought I could handle.But I didn't handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.“Thirty's the new 20,” Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right.Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later.Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life.I pushed back.20歲光陰不再來演講稿_ 20歲光陰不再來ted英文演講稿

There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now.We're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.Raise your hand if you're in your 20s.I really want to see some twentysomethings here.Oh, yay!Y'all's awesome.If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see — Okay.Awesome, twentysomethings really matter.So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists，neurologists

and

fertility specialists(生育專家)already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.20歲光陰不再來演講稿_ 20歲光陰不再來ted英文演講稿

Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time.Isn't that true? So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, “You have 10 extra years to start your life”? Nothing happens.You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.And then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: “I know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count.I'm just killing time.” Or they say, “Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine.”

But then it starts to sound like this: “My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself.I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college.”

And then it starts to sound like this: “Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs.Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down.I didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.”

Where are the twentysomethings here? Do not do that.

第四篇：20歲光陰不再來

20歲光陰不再來 MegJay 當我20歲的時候見了我第一位心理診療的客戶，那時我是伯克利大學臨床心理學的博士生。一名26歲的女士，名叫亞力克斯。第一次診療時，亞力克斯穿著牛仔褲和寬大松垮的上衣走進我的辦公室，一屁股坐在沙發上，踢掉她的平底鞋，然后告訴我她要談談男人的問題。聽到這，我大松一口氣。我同學的第一個客戶是個縱火犯。而我的是個20多歲的姑娘要聊男人問題。我想這我肯定應付得了。但是我沒有。

對于亞力克斯帶來的有趣的故事，我所用的緩兵之計，很簡單，便是點頭應和。亞力克斯說：“30歲是一個新的20歲。”就那時我所認為的，她是對的。之后會有工作，會有婚姻。再有了兒女，最后是死亡。像我和亞力克斯這樣的20多歲的人，有的是時間。但沒過多久，我的導師催促我讓她認真考慮她的感情生活。我拒絕了。

我說：“沒錯，她的對象很差勁，她在和一個傻瓜交往，可是沒有跡象她要嫁給他。” 然后我導師說：“她不嫁給這個但可能嫁給下個（傻瓜）。再說，給亞力克斯有幫助的建議的最好的時機是在她結婚之前。”

那就是心理學家所謂“頓悟”時刻。那一刻我意識到，30歲不是一個新的20歲。沒錯，現在人們結婚的年齡比以前大一些，但這并沒有使亞力克斯的20歲成為發展的擱淺期。這使亞力克斯的20歲成為發展的關鍵時期，而我們卻在揮霍它。那一刻我意識到這種善意的忽視是個嚴重的問題，而且是有后果，不僅對亞力克斯和她的感情生活，而是對所有處在20多歲年齡的人的事業及家庭及未來。所有的人都要先經歷他們的20歲才能進入成年。

20多歲的這段時間真的很重要。我專長于20多歲的青年是因為我相信這些20多歲的人都應該知道心理學家、社會學家、神經學家和生育學家，所有的事都已經知道了。20歲對于你來說是你能對你的感情、幸福甚至這個世界能做的最簡單但是最有影響力的事之一。這不是我的觀點，這是事實。

我們知道，一半以上的美國人在30歲的時候結婚或是在和他們今后的伴侶同居或交往。我們知道大腦在你20多歲時結束第二次也是最后一次發育高峰然后它開啟成年人的模式，這意味著，不管你想改變自己的什么，現在就是時候。

我們知道20多歲時性格的改變要遠遠多于別的時期。20多歲就是培養自己的時候，對于自己的健康和今后的選擇。倫納德·伯恩斯坦說“想要有大成就，你需要一個計劃和很少的時間。如果你拍著一個20歲的年輕人的腦袋說：“你還有十年的時間開始你的生活。”會發生什么？什么也不會發生。你已經偷走了他的 緊迫感和雄心，所以當然什么也不會發生了。

日復一日，像你或者你們的兒子和女兒一樣聰明、有趣的20多歲的人來我的辦公室，說這些話：“我知道我男朋友不適合我，但是這段感情不作數，我只是在消磨時間。”或者說，“每個人都說只要我能在三十歲的時候開始我的事業，就沒有問題。”漸漸地，開始變成這樣：“我都快30歲了，我沒有什么拿得出手的。我大學畢業時候的簡歷都比現在好。”再后來就變成這樣：“20歲的時候談戀愛就像玩搶椅子。每個人都東奔西跑的玩樂，但是在30歲左右時音樂停止了，每個人都開始坐下。我不想只有我站著，所以有時候我想嫁給我丈夫是因為他是我30歲時離我最近的椅子。”千萬不要這樣做。很多人在不得不面臨他們的三十歲時會有巨大的壓力，從而迅速開始一個事業，選一個城市，結婚，然后在很短的時間內有兩個或三個孩子。這些事很多是互不相容的。千禧年之后的中年危機不是買一臺紅色跑車，是意識到你不能擁有你現在想要的事業，是意識到你不能擁有你現在想要的孩子，或者不能給你的孩子一個姊妹。

關于一個名叫艾瑪的女人的故事。艾瑪在她25歲時來到我的診室，因為她有，用她的話講，身份認同危機。她說她以為她會在藝術界或娛樂界工作，但是她還沒想好，所以她做了幾年服務生。為了省錢，她和她的脾氣比志向大的男朋友住在一起。即使她20多歲的時候那么辛苦，但是她小時候的生活更艱辛，在診聊過程中她常常哭，但最后會安慰自己說:“你不能選擇你的家人，但你能選擇你的朋友。”有一天，艾瑪來到我的診聊室，把頭埋在膝蓋里哭了將近一個多小時。她剛買了一本新的通訊簿，早上的時候她在填寫通訊信息，但是她盯著那片空白，上面寫著：“如果遇到緊急情況，請聯系?”愣住了。她看著我，幾乎歇斯底里說：“如果我發生了交通意外，會有誰來幫我？如果我得了癌癥會有誰來照顧我？”那一刻我努力地忍住沒有說：“我會。”艾瑪需要的不是一個非常非常關心她的心理醫師，艾瑪需要一個更好的生活，而我知道她的時機到了。

從亞力克斯起，只是坐著聽艾瑪定義她的十年時光流逝，我已經聽的太多了。所以在接下來的幾周和幾月里，我告訴艾瑪三件事，這三件事是所有的20多歲的人，男人或是女人都應該知道的。首先，我告訴艾瑪忘掉身份認同危機，獲得一些身份資本。獲得身份資本，我指的是去做一些可以增加你自身價值的事。對你以后想要成為什么樣的人的投資。我并不知道艾瑪未來的事業，沒人知道以后的工作，但是我知道：身份資本會成為身份的資本，因此，現在正是那個橫跨全國的工作的時候，正是時候開始實習，開始做你想做的事。我不是在說20歲的探索冒險，我是在勸誡你們不要做無謂的探索，那不是探索，那是拖延。我告訴艾瑪開始工作，并使它有意義。

第二，我告訴艾瑪不要坐井觀天。好朋友是可以載你一程去機場，但是20多歲的人如果只是和想法相同的同齡的人，限制了他們的交際圈，他們所知、所想、所講和他們的工作的地點，新的資本，新的戀愛對象幾乎都是來自圈子外的。新事物來自我們所謂的弱關系，我們朋友的朋友的朋友。所以的確，20多歲的人一半沒有工作或是面臨失業。但另外一半有工作，而通過那些不那么直接的關系，就是你進入那個群體的途徑。有一半的新工作是沒有招聘信息的，所以去問你鄰居的老板，是你得到那個沒有招聘信息的工作的方法。這不是走后門，信息就是這樣傳播的。

最后，艾瑪認為你不能選擇你的家人，但你可以選擇你的朋友。在她小時候是這樣的，但是作為一個20多歲的人，很快地需要在創建自己的家庭時，選擇她的家人。我告訴艾瑪現在就是選擇你家人的時候。現在你可能認為在30歲時安定下來要比在20歲甚至25歲更可靠，我同意。但是隨便抓一個你正在交往或是同居或是社交網絡上的人走進婚姻的殿堂是行不通的。經營婚姻的最好時期是在你結婚之前，這就意味著選擇愛情要像選擇工作一樣積極。選擇你的家人就是要理智得選擇你想要和誰過什么樣的生活，而不是為了應付或是消磨時間才和一個正好選了你的人在一起。

艾瑪后來怎么樣了呢？我們查看了那本通訊簿，她找到了一個前室友的表親，這個人在另一個州的一家藝術博物館工作。她通過這個關系在那找到了一份工作。這份工作給了她一個離開那時男友的理由。五年過去了，她現在是博物館特殊活動的策劃者。她謹慎地選擇了她的丈夫，她熱愛她的新事業，愛她的新家庭，在她寄給我的卡片上，她說：“現在那個空白的緊急情況聯系欄沒那么可怕了。”

艾瑪的故事聽起來簡單，但這是我喜歡和20多歲的人一起工作的原因。幫助他們很容易。20歲的人們就像是一架剛從洛杉磯國際機場起航的飛機，向西飛去。剛起飛時，航道上一個小小的改變導致目的地的不同，猶如阿拉斯加和斐濟之間的差別。同樣，在21歲或25歲甚至是29歲時，一次好的談話，一個好的假期，會在今后的歲月甚至對以后的幾代人中產生不可估量的作用。這是值得告訴每一個你所認識的20多歲的人的事。

30歲不是一個新的20歲，所以認清你的成年期，獲得一些身份資本，利用你的不那么直接的關系，選擇你的家人。不要被你不知道的或是沒有做過的事所限制。生活的決定權在你。

第五篇：ted演講二十歲光陰不再來筆記

TED演講

30s is not new 20s 二十歲光陰不再來

二十歲是人一生中非常重要的時刻。

事業發展的前十年對事業影響最大，而百分之八十能決定一個人一生的決定都是在30歲中旬做出的。二十歲是大腦發育的最后時刻，也是塑造性格的最好時期。在此期間打下的基礎，將決定你的事業、家庭與未來。

開始做那些你想做的事情，做一些增加你個人價值的事情，投資這些身份（who you might want to be: who you are, what your job is）資本使得其最終能成為你身份的資本，成為能寫進你簡歷的東西。可以說，這是回報率最高，對你影響最大的投資。

年輕人應該探索，但不代表應該做無謂的探索。那不叫探索，只能叫拖延。做事情時要有主次觀念，就算空暇時也別浪費時間干沒意義的事。與其拿手機刷微博，不如背幾個單詞。認清你的成年期，你已經是個成年人了，就該以成年人的標準來要求自己，而不是還當自己是一個小孩。機會成本會隨著年齡的增長而加大，趁年輕干自己真正想干的事情，失敗的成本低，收獲的回報大。利用好弱關系，認真對待周圍無論親疏與否的每一個人，他們都可能會給你提供機會和幫助。不要害怕求助，人與人之間就是該互助的。慎重選擇你的家人，不要抱著打發時間的態度去跟隨便一個人談戀愛，認真對待你的對象。

多與不同年齡段的人交往，不要將自己的交際局限于一個小小的圈子之內，切忌坐井觀天。不要被你不知道或沒做過的事所限制。你的一生由你決定。