第一篇：萊溫斯基TED演講：來自人生的經驗與懺悔

You are looking at a woman who was publicly silent for a decades.Obviously, that’s changed, but only recently.It was several months ago, that I gave the speech at Forbes 30 under 30 summit, 1,500 brilliant people, all under the age of 30.That meant that in 1998, the oldest among the group were only 14, and the youngest ,just 4.I joked with them that some might only have heard of me from rap songs.Yes, I’m in rap songs.Almost 40 rap songs.But the night of my speech, a surprising thing happened.At the age of 41, I was hit on by a 27-year-old guy.I know, right? He was charming and I was flattered, and I declined.You know what his unsuccessful pickup line was? He could make me feel 22 again.I realized later that night, I’m probably the only person over 40 who does not want to be 22 again.At the age of 22, I fell in love with my boss, and at the age of 24, I learned the devastating consequences.Can I see a show of hands of anyone here who didn’t make a mistake or do something they regretted at 22? Yep.That’s what I thought.So like me, at 22, a few of you may have also taken wrong turns and fallen in love with the wrong person, maybe even your boss.Unlike me, though, your boss probably wasn’t the president of the United States of America.Of course, life is full of surprises.Not a day goes by that I’m not reminded of my mistake, and I regret that mistake deeply.In 1998, after having been swept up into an improbable romance, I was then swept up into the eye of political, legal and media maelstrom like we had never seen before.Remember, just a few years earlier, news was consumed from just three places: reading a newspaper or magazine, listening to the radio, or watching television.That was it.But that wasn’t my fate.Instead, this scandal was brought to you by the digital revolution.That meant we could access all the information we wanted, when we wanted it, anytime, anywhere, and when the story broke in January 1998, it broke online.It was the first time the traditional news was usurped by the internet for a major news story, a click that reverberated around the world.What that meant for me personally was the overnight I went from being a completely private figure to a publicly humiliated one worldwide.I was patient zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously.This rush to judgment, enabled by technology, led mobs of virtual stone-throwers.Granted, it was before social media, but people could still comment online, email stories, and of course, email cruel jokes.News sources plastered photos of me all over to sell newspapers, banner ads online, and to keep people tuned to the TV.Do you recall a particular image of me, say, wearing a beret? But the attention and judgment that I received, not the story, but that I personally received, was unprecedented.I was branded as a tramp, tart, whore, bimbo, and, of course, that woman.I was seen by many but actually known by few.And I get it: it was easy to forget that that woman was dimensional had a soul, and was once unbroken.When this happened to me 17 years ago, there was no name for it.Now we call it cyberbullying and online harassment.Today, I want to share some of my experience with you, talk about how that experience has helped shape my cultural observations, and how I hope my past experience can lead to a change that results in less suffering for others.In1998, I lost my reputation and my dignity.I lost almost everything, and I almost lost my life.Let me paint a picture for you.It is September of 1998.I’m sitting in a windowless office room inside the Office of the Independent Counsel underneath humming fluorescent lights.I’m listening to the sound of my voice, my voice on surreptitiously taped phone calls that a supposed friend had made the year before.I’m here because I’ve been legally required to personally authenticate all 20 hours of taped conversation.For the past eight months, the mysterious content of these tapes has hung like the Sword of Damocles over my head.I mean, who can remember what they said a year ago? Scared and mortified, I listen, listen as I prattle on about the flotsam and jetsam of the day;listen as I confess my love for the president, and of course, my heartbreak;listen to my sometimes catty, sometimes churlish, sometimes silly self being cruel, unforgiving, uncouth;listen, deeply, deeply ashamed, to the worst version of myself, a self I don’t even recognize.A few days later, the Starr Report is released the congress, and all of those tapes and transcripts, those stolen words, from a part of it.That people can read the transcripts is horrific enough, but a few weeks later, the audio tapes are aired on TV, and significant portions made available online.The public humiliation was excruciating.Life was almost unbearable.This was not something that happened with regularity back then 1998, and by this, I mean the stealing of people’s private words, actions, conversations or photos, and making them public—public without consent, public without context, and public without compassion.Fast forward 12 years to 2010, and now social media has been born.The landscape has sadly become much more populated with instances like mine, whether or not someone actually make a mistake, and now it’s for both public and private people.The consequences for some have become dire, very dire.I was on the phone with my mom in September of 2010, and we were talking about the news of a young college freshman from Rutgers University named Tyler Clementi.A sweet sensitive, creative Tyler was secretly webcam med by his roommate while being intimate with another man.When the online world learned of this incident, the ridicule and cyberbullying ignited.A few days later, Tyler jumped from the George Washington Bridge to his death.He was 18.My mom was beside herself about what happened to Tyler and his family, and she was gutted with pain in a way that I just couldn’t quite understand, and then eventually I realized she was reliving 1998, reliving a time when she sat by my bed every night,(sorry)reliving a time when she made me shower with a bathroom door open and reliving a time when both of my parents feared that I would be humiliated to death, literally.Today, too many parents haven’t had the chance to step in and rescue their loved ones.Too many have learned of their child’s suffering and humiliation after it was too late.Tyler’s tragic, senseless death was a turning point for me.It served to recontextualize my experiences, and I began to look at the world of humiliation and bullying around me and see something different.In 1998, we had no way of knowing where this brave new technology called the internet would take us.Since then, it has connected people in unimaginable ways, joining lost siblings, saving lives, launching revolutions, but the darkness, cyberbullying, and slut-shaming that I experienced had mushroomed.Every day on line, people, especially young people who are not developmentally equipped to handle this, are so abused and humiliated that they can’t imagine living to the next day, and some, tragically, don’t, and there’s nothing virtual about that.Child Line, a UK nonprofit that’s focused on helping young people on various issues, released a staggering statistic late last year: from 2012 to 2013, there was an 87 percent increase in calls and emails related to cyberbullying.A meta-analysis done out of the Netherlands showed that for the first time, cyberbullying was leading to suicidal ideations more significantly than offline bullying.And you know what shocked me, although it shouldn’t have, was other research last year that determined humiliation was more intensely felt emotion than either happiness or even anger.Cruelty to others is nothing new, but online, technologically enhanced shaming is amplified, uncontained, and permanently accessible.The echo of embarrassment used to extend only as far as your family, village, school or community, but now it’s the online community too.Millions of people, often anonymously, can stab you with their words, and that’s a lot of pain, and there are no perimeters around how many people can publicly observe you and put you in a public stockade.There is a very personal price to public humiliation, and the growth of the internet has jacked up that price.For nearly two decades now, we have slowly been sowing the seeds of shame and public humiliation in our cultural soil, both on-and offline.Gossip websites, paparazzi, reality programming, politics, news outlets and sometimes hackers all traffic in shame.It’s led to desensitization and a permissive environment online which lends itself to trolling, invasion of privacy, and cyberbullying.This shift has created what professor Nicolaus Mills calls a culture of humiliation.Consider a few prominent examples just from the past six months alone.Snapchat, the service which is used mainly by younger generations and claims that its messages only have the lifespan of a few seconds.You can imagine the range of content that gets.A third-party app which Snapchatters use to preserve the lifespan of the messages was hacked, and 100,000 personal conversations, photos, and videos were leaked online to now have a lifespan of forever.Jennifer Lawrence and several other actors had their iCloud accounts hacked, and private, nude photos were plastered across the internet without their permission.One gossip website had over five million hits for this one story.And what about the Sony Pictures cyberhacking? The documents which received the most attention were private emails that had maximum public embarrassment value.But in this culture of humiliation, there is another kind of price tag attached to public shaming.The price does not measure the cost to the victim, which Tyler and too many others, notably women, minorities and members of the LGBTQ community have paid, but the price measures that profit of those who prey on them.This invasion of others is a raw material, efficiently and ruthlessly mined, packaged and sold at a profit.A marketplace has emerged where public humiliation is a commodity and shame is an industry.How is the money made? Clicks.The more shame, the more clicks.the more clicks, the more advertising dollars.We’re in a dangerous cycle.The more we click on this kind of gossip, the more numb we get to the human lives behind it, and the more numb we get, the more we click.All the while, someone is making money off the back of someone else’s suffering.With every click, we make a choice.The more we saturate our culture with public shaming, the more accepted it is, the more we will see behavior like cyberbullying, trolling, some forms of hacking, and online harassment.Why? Because they all have humiliation at their cores.This behavior is a symptom of the culture we’ve created.Just think about it.Changing behavior begins with evolving beliefs.We’ve seen that to be true with racism, homophobia, and plenty of other biases, today and in the past.As we’ve changed beliefs about same-sex marriage, more people have been offered equal freedoms.When we began valuing sustainability, more people began to recycle.So as far as our culture of humiliation goes, what we need is a cultural revolution.Public shaming as a blood sport has to stop, and it’s time for an intervention on the internet and in our culture.The shift begins with something simple, but it’s not easy.We need to return to long-held value of compassion and empathy.Online, we’ve got a compassion deficit, an empathy crisis.researcher Brenna Brown said, I quote:“shame can’t survive empathy.“ shame cannot survive empathy.I’ve seen some very dark days in my life, and it was the compassion and empathy from my family, friends, professionals, and sometimes even strangers that saved me.Even empathy from one person can make a difference.The theory of minority influence, proposed by social psychologist Serge Moscovici, says that even in small numbers, when there’s consistency over time, change can happen.In the online world, we can foster minority influence by becoming upstanders.To become an upstander apathy, we can post a positive comment for someone or report a bullying situation.Trust me, compassionate comment help abate the negativity.We can also counteract the culture by supporting organizations that deal with these kinds of issues, like the Tyler Clementi foundation in the US.In the UK, there’s anti-bullying pro, and in Australia, there’s project rockit.We talk a lot about our right to freedom of expression, but we need to talk more about our responsibility to freedom of expression.We all want to be heard, but let’s acknowledge the difference between speaking up with intention and speaking up for attention.The internet is the superhighway for the id, but online, showing empathy to others benefits us all and helps create a safer and better world.We need to communicate online with compassion, consume news with compassion, and click with compassion.Just imagine walking a mile in someone else’s headline.I’d like to end on a personal note.In the past nine months, the question I’ve been asked the most is why.Why now? why was I sticking my head above the parapet? You can read between the lines in those questions, and the answer has nothing to do with politics.The top note answer was and is because it’s time: time to stop tip-toeing around my past;time to stop living a life of opprobrium;and time to take back my narrative.It’s also not just about saving myself.Anyone who is suffering from shame and public humiliation needs to know one thing: you can survive it.I know it’s hard.It may not be painless, quick or easy, but you can insist on a different ending to your story.Have compassion for yourself.We all deserve compassion, and to live both online and off in a more compassionate world.Thank you for listening.

第二篇：萊溫斯基TED演講 中英對照

The price of shame

主講人：莫妮卡 萊溫斯基

主題：恥辱的代價

You're looking at a woman who was publicly silent for a decade.Obviously, that's changed, but only recently.站在你們面前的是一個在大眾面前沉默了十年之久的女人。當然，現在情況不一樣了，不過這只是最近發生的事。

It was several months ago that I gave my very first major public talk at the Forbes 30 Under 30 summit:1,500 brilliant people, all under the age of 30.That meant that in 1998, the oldest among the group were only 14, and the youngest, just four.I joked with them that some might only have heard of me from rap songs.Yes, I'm in rap songs.Almost 40 rap songs.幾個月前，我在《福布斯》雜志舉辦的“30歲以下”峰會（Under 30 Summit）上發表了首次公開演講。現場1500位才華橫溢的與會者都不到30歲。這意味著1998年，他們中最年長的是14歲，而最年輕的只有4歲。我跟他們開玩笑道，他們中有些人可能只在說唱歌曲里聽到過我的名字。是的，大約有40首說唱歌曲唱過我。

But the night of my speech, a surprising thing happened.At the age of 41, I was hit on by a 27-year-old guy.I know, right? He was charming and I was flattered, and I declined.You know what his unsuccessful pickup line was? He could make me feel 22 again.I realized later that night, I'm probably the only person over 40 who does not want to be 22 again.但是，在我演講當晚，發生了一件令人吃驚的事——我作為一個41歲的女人，被一個27歲的男孩示愛。我知道，這聽上去不太可能對吧？他很迷人，說了很多恭維我的話，然后我拒絕了他。你知道他為何搭訕失敗嗎？他說，他可以讓我感到又回到了22歲。后來，那晚我意識到，也許我是年過40歲的女人中唯一一個不想重返22歲的人。

At the age of 22, I fell in love with my boss, and at the age of 24, I learned the devastating consequences.Can I see a show of hands of anyone here who didn't make a mistake or do something they regretted at 22? Yep.That's what I thought.So like me, at 22, a few of you may have also taken wrong turns and fallen in love with the wrong person, maybe even your boss.Unlike me, though, your boss probably wasn't the president of the United States of America.Of course, life is full of surprises.Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of my mistake, and I regret that mistake deeply.22歲時，我愛上了我的老板；24歲的時，我飽受了這場戀愛帶來的災難性的后果。現場的觀眾們，如果你們在22歲的時候沒有犯過錯，或者沒有做過讓自己后悔的事，請舉起手好嗎？是的，和我想的一樣。與我一樣，22歲時，你們中有一些人也曾走過彎路，愛上了不該愛的人，也許是你們的老板。但與我不同的是，你們的老板可能不會是美國總統。當然，人生充滿驚奇。之后的每一天，我都會想起自己所犯的錯誤，并為之深深感到后悔。

In 1998, after having been swept up into an improbable romance, I was then swept up into the eye of a political, legal and media maelstrom like we had never seen before.Remember, just a few years earlier,news was consumed from just three places: reading a newspaper or magazine, listening to the radio, or watching television.That was it.But that wasn't my fate.Instead, this scandal was brought to you by the digital revolution.That meant we could access all the information we wanted, when we wanted it, anytime, anywhere, and when the story broke in January 1998, it broke online.It was the first time the traditional news was usurped by the Internet for a major news story, a click that reverberated around the world.飽受網絡欺凌之苦 1998年，在卷入一場不可思議的戀情后，我又被卷入了一場前所未有的政治、法律和輿論漩渦的中心。記得嗎？幾年前，新聞一般通過三個途徑傳播：讀報紙雜志、聽廣播、和看電視，僅此而已。但我的命運并不是僅此而已。這樁丑聞是通過數字革命傳播的。這意味著我們可以獲取任何我們需要的信息，不論何時何地。這則新聞在1998年1月爆發時，它也在互聯網上火了。這是互聯網第一次在重大新聞事件報道中超越了傳統媒體。只要輕點一下鼠標，就會在全世界引起反響。

What that meant for me personally was that overnight I went from being a completely private figure to a publicly humiliated one worldwide.I was patient zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously.This rush to judgment, enabled by technology, led to mobs of virtual stone-throwers.Granted, it was before social media, but people could still comment online, email stories, and, of course, email cruel jokes.News sources plastered photos of me all over to sell newspapers, banner ads online, and to keep people tuned to the TV.Do you recall a particular image of me, say, wearing a beret? 對我個人而言，這則新聞讓我一夜之間從一個無名小卒變成了全世界人民公開羞辱的對象。我成了第一個經歷在全世界范圍內名譽掃地的“零號病人”。科技是這場草率審判的始作俑者，無數暴民向我投擲石塊。當然，那時還沒有社交媒體，但人們依然可以在網上發表評論，通過電子郵件傳播新聞和殘酷的玩笑。新聞媒體貼滿了我的照片，借此來兜售報紙，為網頁吸引廣告商，提高電視收視率。記得當時的那張照片嗎？我戴著貝雷帽的照片。

Now, I admit I made mistakes, especially wearing that beret.But the attention and judgment that I received, not the story, but that I personally received, was unprecedented.I was branded as a tramp, tart, slut, whore, bimbo, and, of course, that woman.I was seen by many but actually known by few.And I get it: it was easy to forget that that woman was dimensional, had a soul, and was once unbroken.現在，我承認我犯了錯，特別是不該戴那頂貝雷帽。但是，除了事件本身，我因此受到的關注和審判是前所未有的。我被貼上“淫婦”、“妓女”，“蕩婦”，“婊子”，“蠢女人”的標簽，當然，還有“那個女人”。許多人看到了我，但很少有人真正了解我。對此我表示理解，因為人們很容易忘記“那個女人”也是一個活生生的人，她也有靈魂，她也曾過著平靜的生活。

When this happened to me 17 years ago, there was no name for it.Now we call it cyberbullying and online harassment.Today, I want to share some of my experience with you, talk about how that experience has helped shape my cultural observations, and how I hope my past experience can lead to a change that results in less suffering for others.17年前，對于我經歷的這些遭遇還沒有一個專有名詞。現在，我們稱之為“網絡欺凌”和“網上騷擾”。今天我要與你們分享一些我的經歷，我想談談那次經歷是如何形成了我的文化觀察，我希望我過去的經歷能夠產生一些改變，減少他人的痛苦。

In 1998, I lost my reputation and my dignity.I lost almost everything, and I almost lost my life.1998年，我失去了名譽和尊嚴。我幾乎失去了所有，我幾乎失去了我的人生。丑聞爆發之后，鋪天蓋地都是對此事件的報道。Let me paint a picture for you.It is September of 1998.I'm sitting in a windowless office room inside the Office of the Independent Counsel underneath humming fluorescent lights.I'm listening to the sound of my voice, my voice on surreptitiously taped phone calls that a supposed friend had made the year before.I’m here because I've been legally required to personally authenticate all 20 hours of taped conversation.For the past eight months, the mysterious content of these tapes has hung like the Sword of Damocles over my head.I mean, who can remember what they said a year ago?

讓我來描繪這樣一幅場景：1998年9月的一天，我坐在美國獨立檢察官辦公室一間沒有窗的屋子里，頭頂上的日光燈嗡嗡作響。我正在聽我的錄音，那是一位所謂的朋友偷偷錄下的電話談話。我被依法要求鑒定那20個小時的電話錄音是真實的。在過去的八個月里，這些錄音帶中神秘的內容就像一把懸在我頭頂的達摩克利斯之劍。我的意思是，有誰會記得自己一年前說過的話？ Scared and mortified, I listen, listen as I prattle on about the flotsam and jetsam of the day;listen as I confess my love for the president, and, of course, my heartbreak;listen to my sometimes catty, sometimes churlish, sometimes silly self being cruel, unforgiving, uncouth;listen, deeply, deeply ashamed, to the worst version of myself,a self I don't even recognize.在恐懼和羞愧中，我聽著錄音，聽我閑扯每天發生的瑣碎之事；聽我坦白對總統的愛慕，當然，還有我的心碎；聽有時尖酸，有時粗魯，有時愚蠢的我是如何冷酷，無情，無理取鬧。我帶著深深的羞愧聽著那個最糟糕的我的聲音，糟糕到我自己都不認識了。A few days later, the Starr Report is released to Congress, and all of those tapes and trans, those stolen words, form a part of it.That people can read the trans is horrific enough, but a few weeks later, the audio tapes are aired on TV, and significant portions made available online.The public humiliation was excruciating.Life was almost unbearable.幾天后，斯塔爾報告提交至國會，那些錄音帶和文字記錄，那些被竊取的言語，都是這份報告的一部分。人們能夠讀到這些文字對我來說已經夠恐怖了，但是幾個星期后，那些錄音又在電視上播放，有一些重要的內容還被發布在網絡上。公開的羞辱讓我飽受折磨。這樣的生活讓我幾乎無法忍受。

This was not something that happened with regularity back then in 1998, and by this, I mean the stealing of people's private words, actions，conversations or photos, and then making them public--public without consent, public without context, and public without compassion.在1998年，我所說的這些還并不常見。我指的是竊取他人私下的言語、行動、談話內容和照片，并公之于眾——在未經本人同意，未交待背景的情況下，毫無惻隱之心地將這些內容公之于眾。

Fast forward 12 years to 2010, and now social media has been born.The landscape has sadly become much more populated with instances like mine, whether or not someone actually make a mistake, and now it's for both public and private people.The consequences for some have become dire, very dire.快進到12年后的2010年，社交媒體誕生了。可悲的是，社交媒體上充斥著更多像我這樣的例子，不管這個當事人是不是真的犯了錯，而且，公眾人物和普羅大眾都深受其害。對于有些人來說，后果是嚴重的，非常嚴重。

I was on the phone with my mom in September of 2010, and we were talking about the news of a young college freshman from Rutgers University named Tyler Clementi.Sweet, sensitive, creative Tyler was secretly webcammed by his roommate while being intimate with another man.When the online world learned of this incident, the ridicule and cyberbullying ignited.A few days later, Tyler jumped from the George Washington Bridge to his death.He was 18.2010年9月的一天，我正在和我的母親通電話，我們在討論一則新聞，關于羅格斯大學的一個名叫泰勒 克萊門蒂的大一新生。可愛、敏感、富有創意的克萊門蒂被室友偷拍到和另一個男人有親密關系。當這個視頻在網絡世界曝光后，嘲笑和網絡欺凌的火種被點燃。幾天后，泰勒從喬治華盛頓大橋上縱身跳下。一個年僅18歲的生命就這樣逝去。

My mom was beside herself about what happened to Tyler and his family, and she was gutted with painin a way that I just couldn't quite understand, and then eventually I realized she was reliving 1998, reliving a time when she sat by my bed every night, reliving a time when she made me shower with the bathroom door open, and reliving a time when both of my parents feared that I would be humiliated to death,literally.我母親在講到泰勒和他的家人時情緒有些失控，她所表現出的痛苦讓我并不十分理解。后來，我才終于意識到，她正在重新經歷1998年發生的一切。重新經歷她每晚坐在我的床頭的時候；重新經歷她要我開著浴室門洗澡的時候，重新經歷她和父親擔心我會因為受到羞辱而自尋短見的時候。真的是這樣。

Today, too many parents haven't had the chance to step in and rescue their loved ones.Too many have learned of their child's suffering and

humiliation after it was too late.今天，太多父母沒有機會及時介入來拯救他們摯愛的孩子。太多的人，當他們獲悉自己的孩子的痛苦和受到的羞辱時，已為時已晚。

Tyler's tragic, senseless death was a turning point for me.It served to recontextualize my experiences, and I then began to look at the world of humiliation and bullying around me and see something different.泰勒悲慘而毫無意義的死亡對我來說是一個轉折點。他讓我開始重新審視我的親身經歷，他讓我開始觀察身邊這個充滿羞辱和欺凌的世界，讓我看到了不同的東西。In 1998, we had no way of knowing where this brave new technology called the Internet would take us.Since then, it has connected people in unimaginable ways, joining lost siblings, saving lives, launching revolutions, but the darkness, cyberbullying, and slut-shaming that I experienced had mushroomed.1998年，沒有人知道這種名叫“因特網”的新技術會把人類帶向何方。自誕生以來，因特網用難以想象的方式將人類聯系起來。它讓人們找到失散的兄弟姐妹、拯救生命、發起革命，但是我所遭受的黑暗、網絡欺凌和被稱為“蕩婦”的羞辱也如雨后春筍般瘋長。Every day online, people, especially young people who are not developmentally equipped to handle this, are so abused and humiliated that they can't imagine living to the next day, and some, tragically, don't, and

there's nothing virtual about that.ChildLine, a U.K.nonprofit that's focused on helping young people on various issues,released a staggering statistic late last year: From 2012 to 2013, there was an 87 percent increase in calls and emails related to cyberbullying.A meta-analysis done out of the Netherlands showed that for the first time, cyberbullying was leading to suicidal ideations more significantly than offline bullying.And you know what shocked me, although it shouldn't have, was other research last year that determined humiliation was a more intensely felt emotion than either happiness or even anger.每天，在網絡上都會有人，特別是年輕人被辱罵和羞辱，而他們對此束手無策。這些辱罵和羞辱讓他們想立刻死去。悲劇的是，有些人，真的因此死去。這一點兒也不虛擬。

ChildLine是英國一個致力于幫助年輕人解決各種問題的公益組織。去年年底，該組織公布了一組令人震驚的數據：從2012年到2013年，與網絡欺凌有關的電話和郵件數量增加了87%。一份來自荷蘭的綜合分析首次披露，網絡欺凌比線下欺凌更容易讓人產生自殺的念頭。去年，還有一項研究讓我震驚，盡管我并不該感到震驚。研究顯示，羞辱是比快樂或者生氣更為強烈的情緒。Cruelty to others is nothing new, but online, technologically enhanced shaming is amplified, uncontained, and permanently accessible.殘忍對待他人不是什么新鮮事，但是，在互聯網上，技術讓羞辱放大，一發而不可收，并且永遠可以被看到。

The echo of embarrassment used to extend only as far as your family, village, school or community, but now it's the online community too.Millions of people, often anonymously, can stab you with their words, and that's a lot of pain, and there are no perimeters around how many people can publicly observe you and put you in a public stockade.There is a very personal price to public humiliation, and the growth of the Internet has jacked up that price.過去，丑聞最多在你的家庭、村莊、學校或者社區傳播。但是現在也在網絡社區流傳。數百萬的網民，經常匿名地惡語相向，這帶來很多痛苦。而且，到底有多少人可以公開地關注你，讓你成為眾矢之的？這是無法計算的。被公開羞辱對個人而言代價很大，而互聯網的發展加劇了這種代價。

For nearly two decades now, we have slowly been sowing the seeds of shame and public humiliation in our cultural soil, both on-and offline.Gossip websites, paparazzi, reality programming, politics, news outlets and

sometimes hackers all traffic in shame.It's led to desensitization and a

permissive environment online which lends itself to trolling, invasion of privacy, and cyberbullying.This shift has created what Professor Nicolaus Mills calls a culture of humiliation.近20年來，我們慢慢地在文化的土壤中播下恥辱和公開羞辱的種子，無論是線上還是線下。八卦網站、狗仔隊、真人秀節目、政治、新聞媒體，有時甚至是黑客都是羞辱的通道。冷酷、放縱的網絡環境助長了網絡煽動、侵犯個人隱私、和網絡欺凌。這種轉變形成了一種尼古拉斯

米爾斯教授所說的羞辱文化。Consider a few prominent examples just from the past six months alone.Snapchat, the service which is used mainly by younger generationsand claims that its messages only have the lifespan of a few

seconds.You can imagine the range of content that that gets.A third-party app which Snapchatters use to preserve the lifespan of the messages was hacked, and 100,000 personal conversations, photos, and videos were leaked online to now have a lifespan of forever.想想最近六個月發生的事情。Snapchat是一項主要是年輕人使用的服務，它號稱所有的信息只有幾秒鐘的壽命。你可以想象這些信息會包含哪些內容。Snapchat用戶使用的保存信息的第三方應用被黑客攻擊，近10萬名用戶的私人談話、照片、視頻被泄露到網上。現在，它們可以永久保留了。Jennifer Lawrence and several other actors had their iCloud accounts hacked, and private, intimate, nude photos were plastered across the Internet without their permission.One gossip website had over five million hits for this one story.And what about the Sony Pictures

cyberhacking? The documents which received the most attention were private emails that had maximum public embarrassment value.詹妮弗 勞倫斯和其他幾位演員的iCloud賬戶被攻擊，他們所有私人的、親密的、裸體的照片在未經允許的情況下在互聯網上鋪天蓋地地傳播。一個八卦網站僅僅因為這一則新聞就獲得了超過500萬的點擊量。索尼影視被黑客攻擊的情況又如何呢？最受關注的文件是那些公開羞辱價值最大的私人電子郵件。

But in this culture of humiliation, there is another kind of price tag attached to public shaming.The price does not measure the cost to the victim, which Tyler and too many others, notably women, minorities,and members of the LGBTQ community have paid, but the price measures the profit of those who prey on them.This invasion of others is a raw material, efficiently and ruthlessly mined, packaged and sold at a profit.但是在這種羞辱文化中，公開羞辱還被貼上了另一種價格標簽。這個價格標簽衡量的并不是受害者付出的代價，比如泰勒、還有其他很多人，特別是婦女，少數群體和同性戀、雙性戀、變性群體(LGBTQ)成員所付出的代價，而是衡量損害他們利益的牟利者的收益。侵入他人領域成了一種原材料，被人以最快的速度無情地挖掘，打包并出售。

A marketplace has emerged where public humiliation is a commodity and shame is an industry.How is the money made? Clicks.The more shame, the more clicks.The more clicks, the more advertising dollars.We're in a dangerous cycle.The more we click on this kind of gossip, the more numb we get to the human lives behind it, and the more numb we get, the more we click.一個市場橫空出世，公開羞辱是商品，恥辱變成了一種產業。靠什么賺錢呢？點擊。恥辱越多，點擊越多。點擊越多，廣告收入就越多。我們身處一個惡性循環。我們對這類八卦點擊得越多，我們就會對故事背后的當事人越麻木。我們越麻木，就越會去點擊。

All the while, someone is making money off of the back of someone else's suffering.With every click, we make a choice.The more we saturate our culture with public shaming, the more accepted it is, the more we will see behavior like cyberbullying, trolling, some forms of hacking, and online harassment.Why? Because they all have humiliation at their cores.This behavior is a symptom of the culture we've created.Just think about it.與此同時，有些人把自己的利益建立在他人的痛苦之上，每一次點擊，我們都是在做出選擇。我們文化中充斥的公開恥辱越多，它就越容易被接受，我們就會看到越多的網絡欺凌、網絡煽動、某些形式的黑客入侵，和線上騷擾。為什么呢？因為它們的核心都是羞辱。這種行為成為了我們所創造的一種文化病癥。想想吧。

Changing behavior begins with evolving beliefs.We've seen that to be true with racism, homophobia, and plenty of other biases, today and in the past.As we've changed beliefs about same-sex marriage, more people have been offered equal freedoms.When we began valuing sustainability, more people began to recycle.向網絡欺凌說不。改變行為從改變信念開始。不管是現在還是過去，無論是種族歧視、同性戀歧視和其它很多的歧視，都是這樣來消除的。隨著對同性戀結婚觀念的改變，更多人被賦予了平等的自由。隨著對可持續性的提倡，越來越多的人開始循環利用。

So as far as our culture of humiliation goes, what we need is a cultural revolution.Public shaming as a blood sport has to stop, and it's time for an intervention on the Internet and in our culture.對于羞辱的文化也應該如此。我們需要文化革命。公開羞辱這種血腥的運動應該終止，是時候對英特網和我們的文化采取干預行動了。

The shift begins with something simple, but it's not easy.We need to return to a long-held value of compassion--compassion and empathy.Online, we've got a compassion deficit, an empathy crisis.Researcher Brené Brown said, and I quote, “Shame can't survive empathy.” Shame cannot survive empathy.I've seen some very dark days in my life, and it was the compassion and empathy from my family, friends, professionals, and sometimes even strangers that saved me.轉變可以從簡單的事開始，不過這也不容易。我們需要回歸人類固有的一種價值，也就是同情心和同理心。互聯網正經歷著同情心匱乏和同理心危機。引用研究者布林 布朗的話來說就是，“羞辱在同理心之下無法存活”。羞辱在同理心之下無法存活。我的人生中有過一些非常黑暗的日子，是來自家人、朋友、專業人士、甚至是一些陌生人的同情心和同理心拯救了我。

Even empathy from one person can make a difference.The theory of minority influence, proposed by social psychologist Serge Moscovici, says that even in small numbers, when there's consistency over time, change can happen.In the online world, we can foster minority influence by becoming upstanders.To become an upstander means instead of bystander apathy, we can post a positive comment for someone or report a bullying situation.哪怕只有一個人的同情也會產生改變。社會心理學家謝爾蓋 莫斯科維奇提出了小眾影響理論。他說，哪怕是小眾人群，只要能堅持下去，也能做出改變。在網絡世界中，我們可以成為行動派，培養小眾影響力。成為行動派意味著不再袖手旁觀，而是發表積極評論或是舉報欺凌現象。

Trust me, compassionate comments help abate the negativity.We can also counteract the culture by supporting organizations that deal with these kinds of issues, like the Tyler Clementi Foundation in the U.S., In the U.K., there's Anti-Bullying Pro, and in Australia, there's Project Rockit.相信我，表達同情的評論能夠削弱負面影響。我們還可以通過支持處理這類問題的組織機構來對抗這種羞辱文化。例如，美國有泰勒 克萊門蒂基金，英國有反欺凌項目，澳大利亞有Rockit項目。

We talk a lot about our right to freedom of expression, but we need to talk more about our responsibility to freedom of expression.We all want to be heard, but let's acknowledge the difference between speaking up with intention and speaking up for attention.The Internet is the superhighway for the id, but online, showing empathy to others benefits us all and helps create a safer and better world.We need to communicate online with compassion, consume news with compassion, and click with compassion.Just imagine walking a mile in someone else's headline.I'd like to end on a personal note.關于言論自由的權力我們討論了很多，但我們還應該更多地談談享受言論自由時所承擔的責任。我們都希望自己的聲音被聽到，但是我們要區分有意圖的發聲和尋求關注的發聲。因特網是表達自我的超級高速公路，但是，站在他人角度考慮問題對我們都是有利的，而且能夠幫助創建更安全，更美好的世界。

我們需要懷著同情心在網絡上交流，懷著同情心閱讀新聞，懷著同情心點擊鼠標。試著想象活在別人的新聞頭條里。

In the past nine months, the question I've been asked the most is why.Why now? Why was I sticking my head above the parapet? You can read between the lines in those questions, and the answer has nothing to do with politics.最后我想以個人說明做總結。過去九個月里，我被人問得最多的問題是“為什么”。為什么是現在？為什么要逆流而上？你們應該可以聽出這些問題的言外之意。答案與政治無關。

The top note answer was and is because it's time: time to stop tip-toeing around my past;time to stop living a life of opprobrium;and time to take back my narrative.It's also not just about saving myself.Anyone who is suffering from shame and public humiliation needs to know one thing: You can survive it.I know it's hard.It may not be painless, quick or easy, but you can insist on a different ending to your story.我的答案是，因為是時候了，是時候不再為過去而過得如履薄冰，是時候結束背負罵名的生活，是時候奪回我的話語權了。這不僅僅是為了拯救我自己。任何遭受恥辱和公開羞辱的人，都需要明白一點：你能挺過來。我知道這很難，肯定會伴隨痛苦，肯定不會又快又輕松，但你可以通過你的堅持，書寫一個不同的故事結局。

Have compassion for yourself.We all deserve compassion, and to live both online and off in a more compassionate world.同情自己。我們都值得同情，無論線上還是線下，我們都應該生活在一個更富有同情心的世界。Thank you for listening.謝謝聆聽！

第三篇：TED演講：如何平衡生活與工作

TED演講：如何平衡生活與工作

What I thought I would do is I would start with a simple request.I'd like all of you to pause for a moment, you wretched weaklings, and take stock of your miserable existence.(Laughter)

Now that was the advice that St.Benedict gave his rather startled followers in the fifth century.It was the advice that I decided to follow myself when I turned 40.Up until that moment, I had been that classic corporate warrior--I was eating too much, I was drinking too much, I was working too hard and I was neglecting the family.And I decided that I would try and turn my life around.In particular, I decided I would try to address the thorny issue of work-life balance.So I stepped back from the workforce, and I spent a year at home with my wife and four young children.But all I learned about work-life balance from that year was that I found it quite easy to balance work and life when I didn't have any work.(Laughter)Not a very useful skill, especially when the money runs out.So I went back to work, and I've spent these seven years since struggling with, studying and writing about work-life balance.And I have four observations I'd like to share with you today.The first is: if society's to make any progress on this issue, we need an honest debate.But the trouble is so many people talk so much rubbish about work-life balance.All the discussions about flexi-time or dress-down Fridays or paternity leave only serve to mask the core issue, which is that certain job and career choices are fundamentally incompatible with being meaningfully engaged on a day-to-day basis with a young family.Now the first step in solving any problem is acknowledging the reality of the situation you're in.And the reality of the society that we're in is there are thousands and thousands of people out there leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation, where they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like.(Laughter)(Applause)It's my contention that going to work on Friday in jeans and [a] T-shirt isn't really getting to the nub of the issue.(Laughter)The second observation I'd like to make is we need to face the truth that governments and corporations aren't going to solve this issue for us.We should stop looking outside.It's up to us as individuals to take control and responsibility for the type of lives that we want to lead.If you don't design your life, someone else will design it for you, and you may just not like their idea of balance.It's particularly important--this isn't on the World Wide Web, is it? I'm about to get fired--it's particularly important that you never put the quality of your life in the hands of a commercial corporation.Now I'm not talking here just about the bad companies--the “abattoirs of the human soul,” as I call them.(Laughter)I'm talking about all companies.Because commercial companies are inherently designed to get as much out of you [as] they can get away with.It's in their nature;it's in their DNA;it's what they do--even the good, well-intentioned companies.On the one hand, putting childcare facilities in the workplace is wonderful and enlightened.On the other hand, it's a nightmare--it just means you spend more time at the bloody office.We have to be responsible for setting and enforcing the boundaries that we want in our life.The third observation is we have to be careful with the time frame that we choose upon which to judge our balance.Before I went back to work after my year at home, I sat down and I wrote out a detailed, step-by-step description of the ideal balanced day that I aspired to.And it went like this: wake up well rested after a good night's sleep.Have sex.Walk the dog.Have breakfast with my wife and children.Have sex again.(Laughter)Drive the kids to school on the way to the office.Do three hours' work.Play a sport with a friend at lunchtime.Do another three hours' work.Meet some mates in the pub for an early evening drink.Drive home for dinner with my wife and kids.Meditate for half an hour.Have sex.Walk the dog.Have sex again.Go to bed.(Applause)How often do you think I have that day?(Laughter)We need to be realistic.You can't do it all in one day.We need to elongate the time frame upon which we judge the balance in our life, but we need to elongate it without falling into the trap of the “I'll have a life when I retire, when my kids have left home, when my wife has divorced me, my health is failing, I've got no mates or interests left.”(Laughter)A day is too short;“after I retire” is too long.There's got to be a middle way.A fourth observation: We need to approach balance in a balanced way.A friend came to see me last year--and she doesn't mind me telling this story--a friend came to see me last year and said, “Nigel, I've read your book.And I realize that my life is completely out of balance.It's totally dominated by work.I work 10 hours a day;I commute two hours a day.All of my relationships have failed.There's nothing in my life apart from my work.So I've decided to get a grip and sort it out.So I joined a gym.”(Laughter)Now I don't mean to mock, but being a fit 10-hour-a-day office rat isn't more balanced;it's more fit.(Laughter)Lovely though physical exercise may be, there are other parts to life--there's the intellectual side;there's the emotional side;there's the spiritual side.And to be balanced, I believe we have to attend to all of those areas--not just do 50 stomach crunches.Now that can be daunting.Because people say, “Bloody hell mate, I haven't got time to get fit.You want me to go to church and call my mother.” And I understand.I truly understand how that can be daunting.But an incident that happened a couple of years ago gave me a new perspective.My wife, who is somewhere in the audience today, called me up at the office and said, “Nigel, you need to pick our youngest son”--Harry--“up from school.” Because she had to be somewhere else with the other three children for that evening.So I left work an hour early that afternoon and picked Harry up at the school gates.We walked down to the local park, messed around on the swings, played some silly games.I then walked him up the hill to the local cafe, and we shared a pizza for two, then walked down the hill to our home, and I gave him his bath and put him in his Batman pajamas.I then read him a chapter of Roald Dahl's “James and the Giant Peach.” I then put him to bed, tucked him in, gave him a kiss on his forehead and said, “Goodnight, mate,” and walked out of his bedroom.As I was walking out of his bedroom, he said, “Dad?” I went, “Yes, mate?” He went, “Dad, this has been the best day of my life, ever.” I hadn't done anything, hadn't taken him to Disney World or bought him a Playstation.Now my point is the small things matter.Being more balanced doesn't mean dramatic upheaval in your life.With the smallest investment in the right places, you can radically transform the quality of your relationships and the quality of your life.Moreover, I think, it can transform society.Because if enough people do it, we can change society's definition of success away from the moronically simplistic notion that the person with the most money when he dies wins, to a more thoughtful and balanced definition of what a life well lived looks like.And that, I think, is an idea worth spreading.(Applause)

第四篇：TED演講：改變你的人生,兩分鐘就夠了

改變你的人生，兩分鐘就夠了

【摘要】這是一篇TED演講。我們的身體姿態會改變我們分泌的荷爾蒙，而不同的荷爾蒙會改變我們的行為，我們的行為最終會改變結果。這不是你對待別人的方式，而是你與自己對話。用兩分鐘改變自己的身體姿態，最終改變人生。在閱讀這篇文章之前，請先留意一下你身體的姿勢。你是在讓自己的身體縮小，占用更少的空間，還是盡量延展自己的身體？讀完這篇文章你就知道答案了。身體語言是人與人之間溝通和相互關聯的方式。你的身體語言在向別人傳遞特定的信息，反之亦然。社會科學家用了很多時間研究人們的身體語言是如何影響判斷。我們自己也會受到我們的非語言行為，思想，感受和生理的影響。今天這個演講就是關于強大和主導性的非語言表達。

什么是強大和主導性的非語言表達？在動物王國里，身體的擴張體現了強大和主導性，即動物使自己的體型變大，向外延展占有更多的空間，是最基本的開放。人類也是一樣的。人們伸展身軀，那一刻他們會感受到強大。與這種感覺相反的是當他們縮小身軀，包裹住自己，不希望撞到旁邊的人。當強氣場的人與弱氣場的人在一起，雙方都試圖去完善對方的非語言行為，即遇弱則強，遇強則弱。人們不是鏡像對方，而是做與之相反的行為。

我在教室里觀察這個行為。我發現MBA的學生會真正地、最大化地通過非語言行為表達強大。他們會徑直走到教室的中央，當他們坐下的時候，是那種延展的姿態。他們高高地舉手。你會看到一些人進來像是把自己折疊起來一樣，你從他們的臉上和身體上就可以讀出這種感覺。他們縮著身體坐下來。你可能會奇怪，這似乎適合性別有關系，女性較之男性更容易產生后者的行為。

此外，還有一種情況，強大的身體姿態似乎還反應了學生的參與度。參與度對MBA非常重要，因為參與度占到一半的學分。因此商業學校試圖縮小這種由于性別帶來的分數差異。我在想如果人們走入教室時是那種強大的姿態，是否就可以更好地參與到教學活動中。也就是說是否有可能讓人們假裝強大，而這種強大又會導致他們更多地參與？

我和我的同事Dana Carney致力于研究我們是否可以讓自己假裝強大而真的變得強大。我們有很多證據證明我們的非語言行為影響著別人對我們有怎樣的印象和感受。那么，我們的非語言行為是否能夠影響我們對自己的認知？

有些證據可以證明這種影響是存在的。當我們心情愉悅的時候，我們會笑。同樣，當我們強迫自己笑一笑，這會讓我們感覺高興。以此類推，當你感覺到自己強大時，你可能正這樣做，但是也有可能當你假裝強大時，你實際上也可能會認為自己強大。

既然我們的行為能夠改變我們的身體，那么我們的身體是否可以改變我們的荷爾蒙？那么什么是有力量的荷爾蒙，什么又是缺少力量的荷爾蒙呢？前者是更加自信，樂觀，甚至認為自己在機會游戲中都能贏。他們能夠抽象地思考，愿意冒險。有力量和沒有力量的人之間有很多不同。從生理上來說，這也是睪丸素和皮質醇這兩種主要荷爾蒙的區別。前者是主導性荷爾蒙，后者是壓力荷爾蒙。通過一系列的實驗證明兩分鐘的身體姿態會改變刺激你大腦的荷爾蒙，他們可以使你變得自信，舒適，或者只是應對壓力，感覺到沮喪。因此，我們的非語言是能夠控制我們如何認識自己，不僅僅是對方會如何看待我們。我們的身體姿態能夠改變我們分泌的荷爾蒙。

這分別是有力量和缺乏力量的五種身體語言。

也許有人會說，“我不要這樣做，感覺是假的。”“我不這樣做，這不是我。”“我不想感覺像個冒牌貨。”“我不想感覺是個騙子。”“我不希望這樣做，只是我覺得自己不屬于這里。”我想說的是假裝強大不僅僅是直到你可以做到，而是要你真正變得強大。要做的更加徹底，直到你真正變成，而且內化為這樣。

兩分鐘可以產生有意義的改變。下次再經歷被評估的高壓環境時，試圖擺出有力量的姿勢兩分鐘，可以在電梯，在盥洗室，在一扇緊關的門后面。這就是你要做的，配置你大腦，讓他能夠最好地適應環境。睪丸素升高，皮質醇降低。讓你在高壓環境下能夠充分而真實地表現自己。

我們的身體姿態會改變我們分泌的荷爾蒙，而不同的荷爾蒙會改變我們的行為，我們的行為最終會改變結果。這不是你對待別人的方式，而是你與自己對話。與你們的朋友分享這個科學理論，用兩分鐘改變自己的身體姿態，最終改變人生。（來自 知行軟技能 微信號：zxrjn01）

第五篇：ted演講 怎樣的人生更有意義這里有4點建議

TED演講

怎樣的人生更有意義？這里有4點建議

在日漸浮躁的今天我們不盲從、不封閉、不惡意評判用TED 開闊視野There's more to life than being happyTED簡介：2017 | 活中我們是不能只有乏味和痛苦的，需要不斷追求快樂，人生才有意思。但是這個世界似乎總是無法滿足追求快樂的人，這是為什么？作家艾米麗·史密斯（Emily Smith）女士來到TED演講，提出了幾點建議，告訴大家怎樣的人生才有意義。演講者：Emily Smith片長：12：06只看英文字幕視頻點閱讀原文

中英對照翻譯I used to think the whole purpose of lifewas pursuing happiness.Everyone said the path to happiness was success, so Isearched for that ideal job, that perfect boyfriend, that beautiful apartment.But instead of ever feeling fulfilled, I felt anxious and adrift.And I wasn'talone;my friends--they struggled with this, too.我以前認為人生的目標就是追求快樂。人人都說，成功是通往快樂的路，所以我去尋找理想的工作、完美的男友、漂亮的公寓。但我沒有感到圓滿，反而覺得焦慮跟漫無目的。且不只有我這樣；我的朋友們──他們也有這種困擾。

Eventually, I decided to go to graduateschool for positive psychology to learn what truly makes people happy.But whatI discovered there changed my life.The data showed that chasing happiness canmake people unhappy.And what really struck me was this: the suicide rate hasbeen rising around the world, and it recently reached a 30-year high in America.我最后決定去研究所讀正向心理學，去找出什么能讓人開心。但我在那兒的發現，改變了我的人生。數據顯示，追求快樂會讓人不快樂。真正讓我震驚的是這點：全球的自殺率不斷攀升，最近在美國達到三十年來的新高。Even though life is getting objectively better by nearly every conceivablestandard, more people feel hopeless, depressed and alone.There's an emptinessgnawing away at people, and you don't have to be clinically depressed to feelit.Sooner or later, I think we all wonder: Is this all there is? And accordingto the research, what predicts this despair is not a lack of happiness.It's alack of something else, a lack of having meaning in life.雖然客觀來說，生活變好了，從每個能想到的標準來看皆是如此，卻有更多人感到無助、沮喪、及孤獨。有一種空虛感在侵蝕人們，并不需被臨床診斷出沮喪也能感覺到這個現象。我想，遲早我們都會想要知道：難道就只有這樣而已嗎？根據研究，絕望的原因并不是缺乏快樂，而是缺乏某樣東西，是缺乏人生意義。But that raised some questions for me.Isthere more to life than being happy? And what's the difference between beinghappy and having meaning in life? Many psychologists define happiness as astate of comfort and ease, feeling good in the moment.Meaning, though, isdeeper.但這就讓我產生了一些問題。難道人生不只是要快樂嗎？活得快樂和活得有意義之間有什么差別？許多心理學家把快樂定義為一種舒服自在的狀態，在當下感覺很好。而意義則更深。

The renowned psychologist Martin Seligman says meaning comes frombelonging to and serving something beyond yourself and from developing the bestwithin you.Our culture is obsessed with happiness, but I came to see thatseeking meaning is the more fulfilling path.And the studies show that peoplewho have meaning in life, they're more resilient, they do better in school andat work, and they even live longer.知名心理學家馬丁賽里格曼說，意義來自歸屬感、致力于超越自我之外的事物，以及從內在發展出最好的自己。我們的文化對「快樂」相當癡迷，但我發現，尋找意義才是更讓人滿足的道路。且研究指出，有人生意義的人適應力也會比較強，他們在學校及職場的表現較佳，他們甚至活得比較久。

So this all made me wonder: How can we eachlive more meaningfully? To find out, I spent five years interviewing hundredsof people and reading through thousands of pages of psychology, neuroscienceand philosophy.Bringing it all together, I found that there are what I callfour pillars of a meaningful life.And we can each create lives of meaning bybuilding some or all of these pillars in our lives.所以這一切讓我開始想，我們每個人要如何活得有意義？為了找出答案，我花了五年時間，訪談了數百人，閱讀了數千頁的心理學、神經科學、及哲學。把這些匯整起來，我發現了一件事，我稱之為「人生意義的四大支柱」。我們可以彼此相互建立起這些支柱，在彼此的人生中找到人生的意義。The first pillar is belonging.Belongingcomes from being in relationships where you're valued for who you areintrinsically and where you value others as well.But some groups andrelationships deliver a cheap form of belonging;you're valued for what youbelieve, for who you hate, not for who you are.True belonging springs fromlove.It lives in moments among individuals, and it's a choice--you canchoose to cultivate belonging with others.第一根支柱是歸屬感。歸屬感來自于一種關系，一種你與他人在本質上彼此是否處在相互珍惜的關系中。但有些群體或關系，提供的是廉價形式的歸屬感；你被重視的原因是因為你所相信的事物、你對人的好惡、而不是你的本質。真正的歸屬感源自于愛。它存在于個體間共處的時光當中，且它是一種選擇──你可以選擇與他人培養歸屬感。

Here's an example.Each morning, my friendJonathan buys a newspaper from the same street vendor in New York.They don'tjust conduct a transaction, though.They take a moment to slow down, talk, andtreat each other like humans.But one time, Jonathan didn't have the rightchange, and the vendor said, 'Don't worry about it.' But Jonathaninsisted on paying, so he went to the store and bought something he didn't needto make change.But when he gave the money to the vendor, the vendor drew back.He was hurt.He was trying to do something kind, but Jonathan had rejected him.舉例來說，每天早晨，我在紐約的朋友強納森都會向同一個街頭小販買一份報紙。不過，他們并不是只有交易的關系。他們會停下來，花點時間說說話，把彼此當朋友對待。但有一次，強納森的零錢不夠，小販說：「沒關系不用了啦。」但強納森堅持要付錢，所以他去一家店，買了他不需要的東西，把鈔票找開。但當他把錢給小販時，小販退縮了。他感到受傷。他試著想表現友好，但強納森拒絕了他。

I think we all reject people in small wayslike this without realizing it.I do.I'll walk by someone I know and barelyacknowledge them.I'll check my phone when someone's talking to me.These actsdevalue others.They make them feel invisible and unworthy.But when you leadwith love, you create a bond that lifts each of you up.我想，我們都曾像這樣在小地方拒絕別人卻沒有意識到。我就有過。我會從認識的人旁邊走過，卻沒跟他們打招呼。當有人在跟我說話時，我會看手機。這類行為是在貶低別人的價值，讓他們覺得自己是隱形的、不值得的。但若用愛來引導，你就會創造出一種聯結，讓你們彼此都振奮起來。For many people, belonging is the mostessential source of meaning, those bonds to family and friends.For others, thekey to meaning is the second pillar: purpose.Now, finding your purpose is notthe same thing as finding that job that makes you happy.Purpose is less aboutwhat you want than about what you give.A hospital custodian told me herpurpose is healing sick people.Many parents tell me, 'My purpose israising my children.' The key to purpose is using your strengths to serveothers.對很多人來說，歸屬感是人生意義的重要來源，就是與家人及朋友之間的聯結。對其他人來說，第二根人生意義的支柱是目的。找到你的目的并不是指找到讓你快樂的工作。目的的重點是你能給予什么，而不是你想要什么。一位醫院管理員告訴我，她的目的是治愈生病的人。很多家長告訴我：「我的目的是扶養我的孩子。」目標的關鍵在于用你的力量去服務他人。Of course, for many of us, that happens through work.That's how wecontribute and feel needed.But that also means that issues like disengagementat work, unemployment, low labor force participation--these aren't justeconomic problems, they're existential ones, too.Without something worthwhileto do, people flounder.Of course, you don't have to find purpose at work, butpurpose gives you something to live for, some 'why' that drives youforward.當然，對很多人而言，這是透過工作來達成的。那是我們做出貢獻和感到被需要的方式。但這也意味著，像是無心工作、失業、低勞動參與率等等議題──這些不僅是經濟問題，也是存在主義問題。人們若沒有值得去做的事，就會掙扎折騰。當然，你不需要從工作中找到目的，但目的能讓你有活下去的意義，有驅使你向前行的「理由」。The third pillar of meaning is also aboutstepping beyond yourself, but in a completely different way: transcendence.Transcendent states are those rare moments when you're lifted above the hustleand bustle of daily life, your sense of self fades away, and you feel connectedto a higher reality.For one person I talked to, transcendence came from seeingart.For another person, it was at church.第三根人生意義的支柱，也和走出自我有關，但用的方式完全不同：超然。超然的狀態是很少見的時刻，在這個時刻中，你超脫了日常生活的喧囂擾攘，自我感正在漸漸消褪，你會感覺到和更高的現實產生連結。跟我談過的其中一個人說，超然來自于欣賞藝術。另一個人則認為，超然是在教堂中。

For me, I'm a writer, and it happensthrough writing.Sometimes I get so in the zone that I lose all sense of timeand place.These transcendent experiences can change you.One study hadstudents look up at 200-feet-tall eucalyptus trees for one minute.Butafterwards they felt less self-centered, and they even behaved more generouslywhen given the chance to help someone.對我來說，我是作家，而超然是透過寫作發生的。有時候我太投入會有一種忘我的境界。這些超然的經驗能改變你。有一項研究是讓學生去看200英呎高的尤加利樹，看一分鐘，之后他們會比較不自我中心，若給他們機會去幫助別人，他們連行為都會變得更慷慨。

Belonging, purpose, transcendence.Now, thefourth pillar of meaning, I've found, tends to surprise people.The fourthpillar is storytelling, the story you tell yourself about yourself.Creating anarrative from the events of your life brings clarity.It helps you understandhow you became you.But we don't always realize that we're the authors of ourstories and can change the way we're telling them.Your life isn't just a listof events.You can edit, interpret and retell your story, even as you'reconstrained by the facts.歸屬感、目的、超然。接著談談我發現的第四根支柱，它常會令人感到驚訝。第四根支柱就是說故事，你告訴你自己關于你自己的故事。用你人生中的事件來創造一個故事，能讓你看得更清楚。它能協助你了解你是怎么變成你的。但我們通常沒發現，我們故事的作者就是自己，且我們可以改變說故事的方式。你的生命并不只一連串的事件。即便你被事實給限制住，你仍可以編輯、詮釋、再重新述說你的故事。

I met a young man named Emeka, who'd beenparalyzed playing football.After his injury, Emeka told himself, 'My lifewas great playing football, but now look at me.' People who tell storieslike this--'My life was good.Now it's bad.'--tend to be more anxiousand depressed.And that was Emeka for a while.But with time, he started toweave a different story.我遇到一位叫做埃梅卡的年輕人，他因為打美式足球而癱瘓。埃梅卡在受傷后，內心的對話是這樣的：「我打美式足球的人生是非常棒的，但看看現在的我。」像這樣說故事的人──「我的人生曾經很棒，現在卻很糟。」──說這種故事的人比較容易焦慮和沮喪。埃梅卡有好一陣子就是這樣。但隨時間過去，他開始編造一個不同的故事。His new story was, 'Before my injury, my life waspurposeless.I partied a lot and was a pretty selfish guy.But my injury mademe realize I could be a better man.' That edit to his story changedEmeka's life.After telling the new story to himself, Emeka started mentoringkids, and he discovered what his purpose was: serving others.The psychologistDan McAdams calls this a 'redemptive story,' where the bad isredeemed by the good.People leading meaningful lives, he's found, tend to tellstories about their lives defined by redemption, growth and love.他的新故事是：「在我受傷前，我的人生沒有目的。我常去派對，且我是個很自私的人。但受傷讓我明白，我可以成為更好的人。」埃梅卡把他的故事進行改造，從而改變了他的一生。在對自己說完這個新故事之后，埃梅卡開始開導孩童，他找到了他的目的：服務他人。心理學家丹麥亞當斯稱這現象為「救贖的故事」，用好的來救贖不好的。他發現，過著有意義人生的人，他們說的故事內容通常都是他們的人生由救贖、成長、愛來定義。But what makes people change their stories?Some people get help from a therapist, but you can do it on your own, too, justby reflecting on your life thoughtfully, how your defining experiences shapedyou, what you lost, what you gained.That's what Emeka did.You won't changeyour story overnight;it could take years and be painful.After all, we've allsuffered, and we all struggle.But embracing those painful memories can lead tonew insights and wisdom, to finding that good that sustains you.但，是什么讓人們改變了他們的故事？有些人向治療師尋求協助，但你也可以靠自己做到，只要完整地反思你的人生、你的關鍵經驗如何造就了你、你失去了什么、獲得了什么。那就是埃梅卡所做的。你不可能一夜就改變你的故事；過程可能要花好幾年，且很痛苦。畢竟，我們都曾受過苦，也都在掙扎。但擁抱那些痛苦的記憶，能帶來新的洞見與智慧，讓你能找到那支撐著你的「善」。

Belonging, purpose, transcendence,storytelling: those are the four pillars of meaning.When I was younger, I waslucky enough to be surrounded by all of the pillars.My parents ran a Sufimeetinghouse from our home in Montreal.Sufism is a spiritual practiceassociated with the whirling dervishes and the poet Rumi.Twice a week, Sufiswould come to our home to meditate, drink Persian tea, and share stories.Theirpractice also involved serving all of creation through small acts of love,which meant being kind even when people wronged you.But it gave them apurpose: to rein in the ego.歸屬感、目的、超然、說故事；這些就是意義的四大支柱。在我小時候，我很幸運能夠被這四根支柱給圍繞著。我父母在蒙特婁的家附近開一間蘇菲派的聚會所。蘇菲教派是一種和旋轉苦行僧及詩人魯米有關的靈修。每周兩次，蘇菲教徒會到我們家里，來冥想、喝波斯茶、分享故事。他們的修行也涉及了要透過愛的小舉動，來為萬物服務，也就是說，即使別人冤枉你，也要仁慈以對。但那給了他們一個目的：去駕馭自我。

Eventually, I left home for college andwithout the daily grounding of Sufism in my life, I felt unmoored.And Istarted searching for those things that make life worth living.That's what setme on this journey.Looking back, I now realize that the Sufi house had a realculture of meaning.The pillars were part of the architecture, and the presenceof the pillars helped us all live more deeply.最后，我離開家去讀大學，我的人生中少了蘇菲教徒每天的基礎練習，感覺像是船的纜繩被解開。我開始尋找有什么能讓我的人生值得活。就是這個原因讓我踩上這段旅程。現在回頭看，我發現那間蘇菲房舍有著一種有意義的真實文化。那些支柱是建筑的一部份，而支柱的出現，讓我們都能過更有深度的生活。

Of course, the same principle applies inother strong communities as well--good ones and bad ones.Gangs, cults: theseare cultures of meaning that use the pillars and give people something to liveand die for.But that's exactly why we as a society must offer betteralternatives.We need to build these pillars within our families and ourinstitutions to help people become their best selves.But living a meaningfullife takes work.It's an ongoing process.As each day goes by, we're constantlycreating our lives, adding to our story.And sometimes we can get off track.當然，同樣的原則也適用于其他強大的社群──好的和壞的都包含在內。幫派、邪教：這些也是有意義的文化，它們利用這些支柱，給予人們活著和犧牲的意義。但那就是為什么，我們身為一個社會，必須要提供更好的替代方案。我們需要在我們的家庭及習俗制度當中建立這些支柱，來協助人們變成最好的自己。但一定要花心力，才能讓人生過得有意義。它是一個持續的過程。隨著每一天過去，我們不斷地創造我們的人生，擴增我們的故事。有時，我們可能會誤入歧途。Whenever that happens to me, I remember apowerful experience I had with my father.Several months after I graduated fromcollege, my dad had a massive heart attack that should have killed him.Hesurvived, and when I asked him what was going through his mind as he faceddeath, he said all he could think about was needing to live so he could bethere for my brother and me, and this gave him the will to fight for life.Whenhe went under anesthesia for emergency surgery, instead of counting backwardsfrom 10, he repeated our names like a mantra.He wanted our names to be thelast words he spoke on earth if he died.每當我遇到這狀況時，我會想起我與父親的一段經歷，很有影響力的經歷。我從大學畢業后幾個月，我父親罹患了嚴重的心臟病，本來他應該性命難保。他活下來了，我問他，當他在面對死亡時，腦中想著的是什么，他說，他唯一能想的，就是必須活下來，這樣他才能陪伴我弟弟和我，這點讓他有意志力能拼命活下來。當他被麻醉準備接受緊急手術時，他做的不是從10開始倒數，他把我們的名字像祈禱文般地覆頌。如果他會死，他希望他在世上說的最后幾個字是我們的名字。

My dad is a carpenter and a Sufi.It's ahumble life, but a good life.Lying there facing death, he had a reason tolive: love.His sense of belonging within his family, his purpose as a dad, histranscendent meditation, repeating our names--these, he says, are the reasonswhy he survived.That's the story he tells himself.我的父親是個木匠也是個蘇菲教徒。他的人生是謙恭的人生，但很美好的人生。躺在那里，面對死亡，他有一個活下去的理由：愛。他在他的家庭中的歸屬感、他身為一名父親的目的、他超然的冥想，不斷覆頌我們的名字──他說，這些是他活下來的原因。那是他告訴他自己的故事。

That's the power of meaning.Happinesscomes and goes.But when life is really good and when things are really bad,having meaning gives you something to hold on to.那就是意義的力量。快樂來來去去。但當人生真的很美好時，當事情真的很糟糕時，若人生有意義，你就會有可以緊緊抓住的東西。

Thank you.(Applause)謝謝。（掌聲）注：來轉載需在文章開頭注明：來自：TED博物館 ID：TEDMORE