第一篇：英語演講幽默開場白

英語演講幽默開場白

作為一個演講者，我從觀眾那只得到過兩種抱怨：一種是我講話聲音太大了，他們無法入睡；第二種是我講得時間太長了，他們無法一直清醒。

As a speaker, I’ve only had two complaints from audiences.One, that I talk so loud they can’t fall asleep.And two, that I talk so long they can’t stay awake.創新句子：你們或者睡覺，或者不睡，只要不打呼嚕，我就接著講。

作為一個講演者，他的演講總拿來和林肯的哥得堡演講[一個著名的演講]相比較。當他演講結束時，也有悲傷、眼淚和悲痛——特別是計劃委員會。

As a speaker, he has often been compared to Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address.When he finishes his speech, there is also sorrow, tears and mourning----especially by the program committee.幽默注釋：演講者講得太糟糕了，組織者哭得很傷心。

演講結束時，宴會主人感謝你從繁忙的日程中抽出時間來——你泰然自若，優雅地點頭微笑著，心里非常清楚你日歷上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝點咖啡Poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program---and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注釋：一些老干部退休后沒什么事干，有人請他參加一些活動，他還假裝很忙，好象推開了很多事才趕去似的。

過去我演講時常常會比較緊張，但那時我看到一條信息說如果你想象所有的觀眾都是裸體會有所幫助。此時此刻，我站在這里想象著觀眾都是裸體，真的起作用，我不再緊張了，但眼睛有些疲勞。

I used to get nervous when giving a speech but then I read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked.And so, at this very moment, I’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked.And it really works.I no suffer from nervousness.Eyestrain.Yes

幽默注釋：把觀眾想象成裸體，意思是我不怕你們，就不緊張了。

創新句子：大部分人站在講臺上都會有點兒緊張，我屬于少部分人，我非常

緊張。

我本人不自負——我簡直不能告訴你們我是多么欽佩我這一點。

Personally, I have never been conceited---and I can’t tell you how much I admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因為自己不自負，所以變得非常驕傲。

創新句子：我一點兒都不自負，我希望別人也這么看我.我先用簡單明了的英語演講，以后我再翻譯給律師聽。

Let me put this into plain English.I’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注釋：律師總喜歡用復雜的語言，簡單的話都聽不懂了。

創新句子：我的講話有三個版本，小學生版本，中學生版本，大學生版本，你是聽小學一年紀版的，還是小學二年紀版的？

如果你聽過這個故事，請不要打斷我，我就知道這一個故事。

If you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one I know.幽默注釋：就是你知道兩個故事，講故事前也可以這么說。

創新句子：我講個笑話，如果你們聽過，也希望裝做沒聽過，我也這樣照顧你們。

演講就象給草坪澆水，如果有四分之一的水滲下去你就滿意了。

Making a speech is like watering a lawn.You’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.幽默注釋：有人打呼嚕，有人說話，都是正常的，有四分之一觀眾聽就不錯了。

演講開始時我們有一些共同點，你們不知道我要講什么——我也不知道。At the very start, let me just say that we both have something in common.You don’t know what I’m going to say---and neither do I.幽默句子：即興演講的開場白。

創新句子：我不知道你們會不會喜歡我的演講，我不知道我要講點兒什么開始前我想告訴你們下面的演講已經編輯成了電視節目，我現在少講20分鐘，我們能夠及時趕回家看2臺的節目。

Before I begin, I want you to know that the following speech has been edited for

television.I cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.幽默注釋：放著現場不看，偏要回家在電視上看。

可能你們有些人知道我今晚出現在這里有兩個原因：第一個原因是你們的計劃委員會一直在設法尋找一個聰明、有趣、老練的演講者，——他們找到了。第二個原因是那個人病了，所以就打電話把我找來了。

As some of you may know, I’m appearing here tonight for two very good reasons.The first reason is your Program Committee was trying to find a speaker who’s intelligent, entertaining, sophisticated---and they did.The second reason is, he got sick so they called me.幽默注釋：一開始好象在說自己很牛，其實就是個臨時替場。

創新句子：我認為我演講很風趣，可為什么沒人笑呢？

第二篇：英語演講開場白

英語演講開場白

女：Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to 2010 “CCTV cup” English speaking contest, the final in yanan university.男：As we all know that this english speaking contest has become the traditional event, which takes place annually, we feel really happy and excited that we can be part of this contest.女：ye, not only because it is a good opportunity to demonstrate our abilities, but also because through this competition we can make friends from different schools, and we can benefit a lot from the contestants and the processes.男：First of all, it is my honor to introduce our guests today.女：首先要為大家介紹的是光臨我們今晚比賽現場的各位嘉賓，他們是：

女：Now I have privilege to introduce our honorable judges.男：現在很榮幸的介紹我們本場比賽的評委們，他們是

女：Vice dean of school of Foreign Languages Ms.ZhangZhimin 男：延安大學外國語學院副院長 張志敏老師

女：Vice dean of school of Foreign Languages, and dean of Department of College English Ms.LiuBaining

男：延安大學外國語學院副院長，大學英語教學部主任劉百寧老師 女：Vice dean of Department of College English Mr.WangSuijuan 男：大學英語教學部副主任 王遂卷老師

女：Vice director of Research Institute of Comparative Linguistics and Cultural Studies Mr.LiuYangchun

男：延安大學中外語言文化比較研究所副所長 柳陽春老師

女：Associate professor school of Foreign Languages Ms.LiYan 男：延安大學外國語學院李艷副教授

女：Foreign teacher and our question master Theresa

男：外籍教師 Theresa

女：Our foreign teacher Alisha

男：外籍教師 Alisha

女：Welome to all of you!As well as the judges, a big welcome to the audience, wish you have a good time and enjoy yourselves.男：Now I would like to make clear the regulations for this contest.This final consists of two rounds of competition.The first round speakers are all the winners of school preliminaries.The first round of competition consists of two parts, namely prepared speech, and prompt answers.The second round speakers are all the top 10 finalists(all the 10th placers included).The second round consists of 1 part, namely impromptu speech.女：比賽分兩輪進行，所有選手將進入第一輪定題演講以及回答問題的選拔，第一輪比賽結束之后,得分列入前十名的選手將進入第二輪即興演講的比賽。男：At prepared speech: Contestants deliver their 3-minute prepared speeches without reference to their scripts.Contestants are obliged to determine the titles of their own speeches.This part takes up 60% of the total score.女：And at questions and answers: The question master, who must be a foreign teacher , will ask one or two questions related to the prepared speech.The time of this part is 1 minute and this part takes up 40% of the total score.At impromptu speech: The speech title is to be chosen 15 minutes before the performance of the previous contestant.The speech time is supposed to be within 2 minutes.The total score of this part is 100 points.男：在定題演講部分，每位選手將進行3分鐘的演講，此環節占第一部分分數的60%，在提問環節中，一名外籍專家將根據演講的相關內容提一到兩個問題，選手在一分鐘之內作答，此環節占第一部分分數的40%，即興演講部分將在選手上場前15分鐘內抽取題目，演講時間兩分鐘，此環節滿分為100分。

女：The judging criteria depends on the content, languages and delivery.The speech is structured around a general idea.The coherence, logic, and full argument in the development of the speech are considered important as well.The speaker should speak with enthusiasm and assurance, showing contact with the audience and confidence in their reactions.男：and also, I wanna make our contestants pay attention to our time limit.15 seconds less or more than the required time is toleratd, failure to meet the requirement will result in the deduction of points.A signal will be given to the contestant by the timing person 30 seconds before the speech reaches its required time.If continue, the contestant will be stopped by a ring.女：同時提醒選手們注意比賽規則，演講時間在正負15秒內不扣分，不足或超過的扣0.5~1分，計時員將在距規定時間30秒時舉牌示意，如果選手在規定時間結束15秒后還繼續演講，計時員將按鈴打斷。評委老師也會酌情扣除相應的分數。

男：and I think all of us are looking forward to watching the most exciting performance, so let’s start.女：First, let’s put our hands together to welcome contestant No1 王雪from school of management, her topic is what is success

演講完：thank you, thanks for your speeches wonderful performance we indeed have a wonderful time we really enjoy it.Time is up, please stop now, thank you exactly××minutes, thank you!

We have questions from our judges invite questions from our judges you have to answer the questions its time for your prompt answers, question master please.報分：and now let’s have a look at the score heshe has got?? let’s take a look at the scores of contestant No??.The final score of contestant No??

中間環節：and now, let’s have a short breath and wait for the result.For this period, let’s welcomeinvite??

第一輪比賽結束：ok, the first round is over and here is the rank of our contestants.The 17th is contestant No??

男：The top ten contestants will continue finishing their

competition---impromtu speech.女：the scores that contestants got are just temperary scores, what they will perform in the next round will decide who will be the champion tonight.男：so let’s begin our most inspiring round.Ok, now let’s welcome contestant No..from?welcome!

從最后往前報：

報分：let’s take a look at the scores of contestant No??.分兩輪，the score of second round is??

第一輪+第二輪(add...to...)(the score of first round plus the score of second round)

The final score of contestant No??

中間環節：頒發優秀組織獎和優秀教師獎

Excellent organization prize the prize of Excellent organization

Excellent teacher prize the prize of Excellent teacher

最后頒獎：after our judges’discussion, the exciting moment is coming.Right now, what I am going to announce is the winners of moderate excellent rewards, they are...Now let’s welcome?..to confer excellent awards to our contestants.The 3rd prize winners of the competition are??

let’s welcome?..to confer 3rd prize for the 3rd place.The winners of the 2nd prize are??

let’s welcome?..to confer 2nd prize for the 2nd place.Who is the champion, we really wonder.Oh, heshe is ?..let’s welcome?..to confer 1st prize for our champion.Congratulations!

Congratulations!Let’s have a big round of applause to our contestants for their excellent performances.女：that is the end of the“CCTV cup” English speaking contest, the final in yanan university 2010.thanks for your attention!

男：may you have a good memory and see you next time, byebye

第三篇：英語演講開場白

如何在聊天網站打開話題

conversation starters on internet chat sites

“嗨，我在網上遭遇了各種各樣的奇人。” “man, i've met some pretty weird characters online.”(八卦一下你在網上遭遇的奇人，不僅是開心的談資，同時也打消對方的顧慮：你不是怪人。不過并不是所有人都喜歡評價別人，如果你覺得這個話題并不是你想聊的，也不要緊，你只需順勢轉換話題，比如 “it takes all kinds to make a world.what are your hobbies?”這個轉移話題的方法可以以此類推用到其他時候。)

“稍等一下，有些工作要做。” “brb, gotta get some work done.”(brb= be right back，稍等。這一招兒是用來搪塞讓你討厭的網友的。說完后你可以把狀態設置為“離開”。類似的借口還有“brb, need to go pick up a friend”，理由越空越好，空得讓他插不上話。如果太“實在”，比如 “get a phone call or go to an event”，會成為對方搭訕的入口，臉皮厚的人也許會借機跟你要電話號碼或者申請加入你的活動，那就事與愿違了。)

“謝謝你傾聽我的故事。和你聊天真的很開心。” “thanks for listening, i really felt at ease talking to you.”(如果你聊得開心，直白地表達吧，特別是對偶然遇見的網友。如果對方跟你這么說，你可能會有點不好意思，即使你感覺不好也不必拒絕，你可以說 “hey, no problem.feel free to look me up whenever you need to talk.”)

如何在俱樂部搭訕

conversation starters at clubs

“和朋友一起來的么？” “so who're you here with?”(通常是男生問女生，這么問其實是打探對方是不是來約會的。回答這個問題十分微妙，同樣是說“我跟異性朋友一起來的”，可能會有相反的結果。如果搭訕的男生讓你不感興趣，你可以說：“oh, i'm here with a friend.he's back there.see him?”知趣的男生就會知難而退了。如果你確實是被異性約來的，但是不太情愿，而對眼前這位還頗有感覺，你可以說“oh, i shared a cab with a friend who's still dancing.would you like to get a drink?”)

“這里的酒保手藝不錯。” “the bartenders here make some pretty good mojitos.”(如果你不好意思主動邀請對方喝酒，你可以這樣委婉地試探，如果對方有意思，他要么讓你買酒給他，或者請你喝一杯。如果你不想跟對方浪費時間，你可以用非常友好的語氣說：“cool, i'll tell my friends, thanks!”)

“這通常人都這么多么？” “is it usually this crowded?”(這實際是在試探對方是不是老出來玩兒。如果你不想讓別人知道你的情況，你可以說：“oh, i can still hear you/there are enough people.”接下來自我介紹吧。

第四篇：英語演講開場白

-I will be pleased to answer any questions you may have at the end of the presentation.-Please can you save your questions till the end.-If you have any questions, I will be pleased to answer them at the end of the presentation.-there will be time at the end of the presentation to answer your questions-so please feel free to ask me anything then.-Don't hesitate to interrupt if you have a question.-Please feel free to interrupt me at any time.-Please stop me if you have any questions.-If you need clarification on any point, you're welcome to ask questions at any time.-Can I come back to that point later?

-I will be coming to that point in a minute.-That's a tricky question.-We will go into details later.But just to give you an idea of...-I am afraid there's no easy answer to that one...-Yes, that's a very good point.-Perhaps we could leave that point until the questions at the end of the presentation

-I think I said that I would answer questions at the end of the presentation---perhaps you wouldn't mind waiting until then.-I think we have time for just one more question

歡迎聽眾(正式)

-Welcome to our company

-I am pleased to be able to welcome you to our company...-I'd like to thank you for coming.-May I take this opportunity of thanking you for coming

歡迎聽眾(非正式)

-I'm glad you could all get here...-I'm glad to see so many people here.-It's GREat to be back here.-Hello again everybody.Thank you for being on time/making the effort to come today.-Welcome to X Part II.受邀請在會議上致詞

-I am delighted/pleased/glad to have the opportunity to present/of making this presentation...-I am grateful for the opportunity to present...-I'd like to thank you for inviting/asking me/giving me the chance to...-Good morning/afternoon/evening ladies and gentleman

-It's my pleasant duty today to...-I've been asked to...告知演講的話題

-the subject of my presentation is...-I shall be speaking today about...-My presentation concerns...-Today's topic is...-Today we are here to give a presentation on...-Today we are here to talk about...Before we start, I'd like you meet my team members...-A brief look at today's agenda...(告訴聽眾所講內容的先后順序)

-Before we start our presentation, let's take a brief look at the agenda...-I shall be offering a brief analysis of...-the main area that I intend to cover in this presentation is...-Take a moment and think of...-Thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell you about...告訴聽眾發言的長度

-During the next ten minutes, I shall...-I shall be speaking for about ten minutes...-My presentation will last for about ten minutes...-I won't take up more than ten minutes of your time...-I don't intend to speak for longer than ten minutes...-I know that time is short, so I intend to keep this brief

-I have a lot to cram in to the next ten minutes, so I'd better make a start...引起聽眾的興趣

-I'm going to be speaking about something that is vitally important to all of us.-My presentation will help solve a problem that has puzzled people for years...-At the end of this presentation you will understand why this company has been so successful for so long...-I am going to be talking about a product that could double your profit margins...-the next ten minutes will change your attitude to sales and marketing...-Over the next ten minutes you are going to hear about something that will change the way your companies operate...-By the end of this presentation you will know all there is to know about...告訴聽眾內容要點

-there are five main aspects to this topic(...the first,...the second,...a third,...another,...the final)

-I am going to examine these topics in the following order(...first,...next,...after that,...finally)

-I've divided my talk into five parts...-I will deal with these topics in chronological order...-I'm going to start with a general overview and then focus on this particular problem(...in general,...more particularly).-I want to start with this particular topic, and then draw some more general conclusions from it(...specifically,...in a wider context).-there are(a number of)factors that may affect...-We have to take into account in any discussion of this subject, the following considerations.-We all ought to be aware of the following points.結束語

-In conclusion, I'd like to...-I'd like to finish by...-Finally...-By way of conclusion...-I hope I have made myself understood

-I hope you have found this useful

-I hope this has given you some idea/clear idea/an outline of...-Let me end by saying...-That, then was all I had to say on...-That concludes our presentation...-I hope I've managed to give you a clearer picture of...-If there are any questions, I'd be delighted to...-Thank you for your attention...-Let's break for a coffee at this point

-I am afraid that the clock is against us, so we had better stop here

-You have been a very attentive audience---thank you

第五篇：英語演講開場白

Today, we will introduce you to the topic of homosexuality, I believe that everyone is very interested in, I am responsible for the current situation of homosexuality, I divided it into two aspects: One is the social bias against homosexuals in all aspects, the second is the psychological plight of homosexuality itself.First, let's look at the social dilemmas of homosexuals.Second, let's look at the psychological dilemma of homosexuals.Finally, I would like to say that love is love, not gender and not age，as we all know, discrimination due to ignorance, ignorance is the result of don't understand, Next, my partner will explain this.(Thank you for your listening.)