第一篇：英語話劇

I used to have my dream!

我有過夢想 旁白（謝秋霞）：

Now I am a freshman.These days I suddenly find how I cherish the memory of my previous life!In those days my classmates and I worked hard for our dreams!We even do not know what was tired.Therefore，we could study at night with our own hand lights and we could get up so early as the sky was still dark.What we only know was that we have our own dreams and we would not be ordinary people.However it seemd that everything is changing!I am beginning not to know who I am and what I am doing and where my ambitions are!Scene one: 鬧鈴響起

No.1（尹思陽）: Oh, my lady gaga!It is already 7:60!Get up!Quickly!Quickly!Get up!Get up!Get up!We are late!No.2（肖翠平）: What classes will have this morning? No.1: Let me see!Uh。。。English and RS!No.2: Oh, English? It’s so cool.I won’t go to the classroom!No.3（孫川）: Are you sure that we will have English at our first class? No.1: Uh……Yes!No.3: he he a o, he he a o ,he he he he(啄木鳥叫聲)，I just made a hard decision that I won’t go to the classroom too!No.4（陸坤）：I am three!No.1: Ok, as your good brother.I want to be four!No.2、No.3and No.4 together shout to No.1: No!As our respected and handsome and strong brother, you must go there in case of the teachers’ calling!No.1: Uh…… Ok, you know that When I smile like this :he he, in fact I am thinking that you are all fools in my heart!No.2、No.3 and No.4 together smile to No.1:He he……

Scene two:(No.1 has just gone!)No.2: Get up!Get up!It’s time to keep on playing our game!We have no time because of the coming examinations!Therefore we must speed up!No.3: Oh, yeah!No.2 is right!Come on No.4!No.4: Uh…….O…….K!At this time, a man break into the room!No.2、No.3 and No.4 feel puzzled!No.2 : Who are you?(并仔細的開始觀察他)好一會過后No.2如夢初醒！

No.2: No.feiwu? Are you No.feiwu? Oh, my dear feiwu.Long time no see!No.3 and No.4: Feiwu? He is feiwu? Oh, my god!Am I still sleeping?(掐對方)Er……I can’t feel any pain.No.4: A……

No.feiwu（李緣）: Do you have any money to borrow me? No.2、No.3 and No.4: No, it’s not the thing that we don’t

have t money to borrow to you!It is because that we don’t want you to keep on going to the net bar and we don’t want you to go on corrupt.(墮落的)No.feiwu: All of you are so stingy!(小聲的)No.2、No.3 and No.4 all keep quite, and begin to play their games!No.feiwu climb his own bed and begin to sleep.Scene three:（當

No.2、No.3、No.4玩的正興起的時候，No.4的電話響了）

No.4: Hello!My baby!How do you know that I am not in class? Girlfriend: Uh? Don’ t you forget about our appointment that you accompany with me to buy that lovely skirt by skipping our English class? No.4: How can it be possible!Girlfriend: Wuwuwu

…….you are lying!You just don’t love me!Wuwuwuw

…….No.4: Oh, my baby, I love you.I really love you!I was just preparing to see you!Wait me!I will go there in two minutes!

No.4:Feiwu, Lend me 100 yuan!No.feiwu: What?

Scene Four：

旁白：The time is so fast!It’s already 7:30 at p.m.No.4 was just coming from the supermarket with her girlfriend.No.4: How long do you play the game? No.3: Uh, all the time since you go.And we have only one barrier to pass now!How is your appointment?

No.4: Uh…..Don’t speak that!I In the supermarke ,She seemd like everything, but she only just have try at every store!Yeah , every store!Oh, my god!I nearly can’t put up with it!笑聲，近乎瘋狂但又深表同情的笑聲！

No.1、No.2 and No.3 together : Our girlfriends are the same!No.2: Oh, yeah!I pass it!No.1、No.3 and No.4：Really？ No.2: Yes!四人開始跳舞慶祝！

No1： Now shouldn’t we celebrate it by drinking something？ No.2、No.3 and No.4: Of course!We should!No.1: No.feiwu? would you join us to drink? No.feiwu: Uh…...Ok.But please be quite!I will call my mother for some money.全場肅靜！

Mum: Hello, my dear!Your money has used up, isn’t it? No.feiwu: Uh……

Mum：Ok.This time I will post 1000 yuan to you for the reason that I will go to Beijing to build houses in next two month!My son,you should eat well!Don’t think about the money!Your mother is still strong ,therefore, though without your father, I believe that I can help you finish your dream!Ok, that’s all!Now I go to post the money to you!電話掛斷后長長的尾音！《老男孩》歌曲響起！旁白：

Dream? What are our dreams? We used to tell ourselves that we can let our life become better and better!We can feed all of our family!We should have our own businesses!We won’t be ordinary people and so on!However, what are we doing? Playing computer games, skipping classes, drinking ……….That’s the way that we accomplish our dreams？Don’t we want to think that have we realize our previous dreams when we become old? Or we just let our own dreams accomplish by our children?

第二篇：英語話劇

beard is looking good there,A…..1(女)

Don?t thank me，thank the dice.,they told me what percentage of my face to shave.….2

Why are you still doing this?.....3

Because it?s working，…in the past few weeks ,not be bothered by trivialities,so and I?m about

to figuring out why 1+1=2…..2

You forgot,got chafed testicles because you no longer wear underpants…..4

When give，also lost.…..2

Is 5 out with 6 again?...1

Yeah,every night …4

Wow, can?t believe that he has a girlfriend….1

搖色子 me neither…2

Here?s some other fun new on the 5 and 6,…..,he gave her a pair of diamond earrings anda car…3

You?re kidding…..1

You think she?s taking advantage of him?.....4

Oh ,of course not.She wouldn?t do something like that…she is deaf….1

無奈的表情 deaf??....deaf woman can?t be gold diggers?..4,Everyone knows that …..they are nice….1

Yeah, I actually have information about 5 that would be helpful with this discussion…2(不相信的眼神)Could you tell us?…4

Let?s see 搖色子..(說出多少點).sorry,bud….2

Wait, hang on , two together.roll again…..1

搖色子okay ,listening to me.(都很無奈)…it doesn?t matter if he buy lots of gifts ,because his families are vastly wealthy….2

What do you mean “vastly wealthy”?...1

Well, “wealthy” means a lot of money……”vastly” means even more…I ?m not sure what you

don?t understand…(都很無奈)...2

OK,I know they have money.i don?t think it?s that much….4

No,you?re wrong…..through my survey in a few decades, his familiers are?t just rich ,they?re Richie Rich rich….2

Well,so how much is that?..1

About halfway between xietingfeng and zhangbozhi….2

what?? The last time we went to the zoo….,that son made me buy him ice cream…3

4走出教室(哼著歌)listen,guys, I need to go call 5?s sister ,who I love so much…..so vastly much….4

OK….,so he is very rich …1

And he pay off all her credit cards…3

What??.damn it ,I could have date 5 for a coulp months….but I ?m not that kind of girl….we should really talk to 5….1

He?s not going to listen…he is in love….3

Can?t know what to do?.?.....now,excuse me,…I have to….搖色子….stay right here…..2

第三篇：英語話劇

荊珂刺秦王搞笑英語話劇劇本

旁白(Aside)/介紹（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I 太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(畫外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!太子丹高興狀)Thank u mirror!（面對觀眾）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister? 阿三(畢恭畢敬): Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作殺狀）

太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀最需要的是什么，人才！這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀）Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.Action II 主持人：Hello，everyone，Welcome to watch today's program。there will be a PK between Limochou and Jingke.who will be the winner ？I think all of you have different opinions，If you support your hero。Please vote for him。The way of participation:send your hero’s name to 00000.then you will have chances to take photo with him and get your hero’s autograph.ok, start fighting.（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時的音樂）荊軻

Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁 Yes.荊軻

OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁

Are you challenging me? 荊軻

Of course!聳聳肩表示同意李莫愁 Come on!音樂起 兩人沖上前來

“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。。” 李莫愁倒地 荊軻大笑

李莫愁痛苦狀：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?（贏一個人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）

李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.荊軻再次大笑

主持人：Mr Jingke，congratulations to you，how is your felling now？

荊軻：good！

主持人：I am your fan，can you be my master? 荊軻：ok,follow me.太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my Ladygaga!Could you give me a smart answer to “How are you”? 荊柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? 荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹暈倒

荊柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（畢恭畢敬）May I have your name card, please? 荊軻徒弟：maser,your bag.荊軻從兜里掏出一卷紙，上面寫著： To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero，we need your help.荊柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荊柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荊柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上場的美女，激動狀): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.荊柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荊柯;Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 觀眾甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM.太子丹：I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Slimming tea.It is a brand new product in China.荊柯（激動）：Slimming tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要嗎……

2（《江南styler》音樂起，荊軻,阿三，太子丹等人跳起舞。。荊柯(誠懇狀)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹與阿三（擊掌）Yeah!Action Ш

（《大話西游》主題曲響起）

荊珂挽著妻子，徒弟，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荊珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，阿三下。停頓。《泰坦尼克號》主題曲起，荊軻與妻子道別。荊珂（深情狀）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救贖》）

荊珂(流淚)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都會愛著你，選自《飄》)妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荊珂（欲走還留，執子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克號沉船時，Jack對Rose的傾訴）.妻子:“I promise.” 荊軻:“Never let go.“

妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go."

（荊軻的發音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克號》的臺詞。）妻子努力擠出幾滴眼淚，荊珂上船，漸漸遠去，徒弟相隨而去。

妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never……

妻子(掏出手機撥號，阿三接手機)： Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin.Acion IV 秦王：Oh，shit，you look so rude，prim，and ugly，why？why？ 荊軻徒弟：what？you said what？please say again，Iwill kill you。荊軻（拽了拽徒弟）：淡定。

秦王（怒斥狀）：please go out，otherwise，I will kill you。

徒弟：you make me awful，now，if you kill me，I won’t give you the map，you know？ 荊軻：sorry，we come here just want to make peace，please trust me。秦王：ok，please show me the map。<>音樂起

荊軻走上前去，（呈恭敬狀）:Sir,It’s the map.旁白：Jingke fight with King Qin,but,unluckly,Jing Ke was killed by King Qin.Then the story is over.

第四篇：英語話劇

搞笑小品劇本《史上最牛的相親》

員1（男扮女裝）嗨！帥哥！笑什么笑啊！沒見過美女啊！你那個撮樣，都流口水了！哎!沒辦法撒！家里人就是煩，非要讓我來相親！你說像我這么溫柔，這么漂亮的姑娘，就算不嫁給貝克漢姆，那也該嫁給姚明吧！......其實呢！我今年年紀也不小了，都.....18了！

臺下人：我看28還差不多！

演員1：誰說的，給老娘我站出來，我看你是老鼠舔貓屁股調戲不要命啊！哼！............他怎么還不來啊？也太沒誠意了！

演員2：有誠意！有誠意！你好！（一瘸一拐的上來了，還滿頭大汗）

演員1：你好！......喝水！

演員2：我不喝水！

演員1：你不渴嗎?

演員2：不！我都渴了十幾年了！別人總嘲笑我，說我11路老出故障，底盤該修了！

演員1：他們怎么能這樣呢，胡說八道！沒一點愛心！

演員2：我先自我介紹一下啊！我姓尹！名蕩坦蕩的蕩！

演員1：你好！尹蕩!

演員2：我看見你我有點緊張，我今年25哦不對！我今年26了！出生在一個美麗的大城市…哈密！我沒正經讀過幾年書！自從牛津大學畢業后，就沒有在上了！我現在也沒找工作！家里也沒錢，就我爸他不是剛給我6百萬創業嗎！所以他也就沒錢了啊！其實我是個弱勢群體，就像在學校一樣，我經常打架，但打架分為兩種，一種是打別人，而我卻屬于另一種！

演員1：不是吧！你有被虐待的愛好！

演員2：其實我的愛好挺多！做運動啊！上網啊！我就想找個年輕貌美氣質佳的女孩子！能陪我上….上網，陪我做….做運動！

演員1：你怎么結…結巴啊？

演員2：我平時很正常的，只有說話時才結巴！其實我感覺你挺好的！

演員1：真的嗎？你真有眼光！

演員2：我還不知道你叫啥呢？

演員1：我的中文名字叫趙曉珊，我的英文…….我還沒想到！

演員2：你叫找小三!

演員1：你討厭!你好壞啊!欺負人家啊！

演員2：笑聲！.....哎！你是哪里人啊？

演員1：我是陜西人！

演員2：你是陜西人，哎！你咋不早年傳？看把人憋得的難受的。

演員1：你看你喔瓜慫樣！

演員3(導演)：你看你兩個喔瓜慫樣！早告訴你我們演的是郎才女貌，不是豺狼虎豹！用普通話把陜西方言表達出來，聽見沒有！表情！注意表情！開始！

演員1：你看你那瓜慫樣！

演員3：你會不會說普通話啊？你要是不會說普通話那，你就包說普通話，你要是不會說普通話呢，你就去蹲那墻覺覺！

（兩個人都笑了）！

演員3：停！你笑什么笑啊！跟鬼一樣還笑！（跟演員1男伴女裝的說）

你！你腦袋是不是被驢踢了！（對演員2說）

演員2：導演!不是！這不公平啊導演！你說我長得這么帥，你讓我演一個瘸子！他長的那么丑你讓他演一美女，還要我給他念情詩！

演員3：不行..你們換換！

演員2：別！別！別！

演員3：就這樣！開始了啊！開始！

演員1：你看是你那瓜慫樣

演員2：傻都是因為你，才犯的傻！為了你，我還寫了一首詩：題目是2012我的愛！那是在一個秋高氣爽，陽光明媚的....傍晚！我千里迢迢來找你，我找啊找啊找！找啊找啊找！找啊找啊找！我終于找到了你，你那迷人的眼神，魔鬼般的身材，還有那白皙的臉蛋！（眼睛看看演員1的臉，然后做嘔吐狀）！

演員3：卡！停！怎么回事啊！

演員2：導演對不起，我實在忍不住了！

演員3：你說你們這些年輕人啊！沒一個有責任心的！我平時說你那都是為你們好，不要以為自己是名牌大學畢業的就不知道天高地厚，有了一點點小小的成就，就飄飄然，就誰也不放在眼里了！我們雖然演的是小角色，但我們反映的是大生活！世界很美好啊！角色雖小，卻寄托著你對每一個看你表演的人的尊重！人生就像一部戲，酸甜苦辣無味色，學會尊重別人，學會尊重自己，這就是生活！

演員1：好！鼓掌！

演員2：好！鼓掌！

演員3：對不起我還沒說完呢！我認為年輕人多吃點苦那是很有必要的，對你的人生是中歷練，你會從中學到很多！

演員2：導演我知道了！不是有一句話說的好!吃盡苦中，苦方為..蟲.中.蟲！（站在高處做個手撐天得動作）

演員1：他腦袋確實被驢踢過！（對演員3也就是導演說）

演員4：吃藥了！吃藥了！下來!下來！醫院里不許站那么高！（原來這是在精神病院發生的事）

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第五篇：狼來了英語話劇

狼來了 英文短劇劇本 THE WOLF IS COMING

1、音樂起，三個農民邊唱邊跳出場歌詞：We are farmers, we are farmers, happy happy happy!三個農民在地里勞動

farmer A: Let’s have a rest, OK？ Farmer B C：OK!(農民下)旁白：Long long ago, in a distent country, a little boy took care a lot of sheep on the mountain every day.Nobody played with him.He felt very lonely.He thought his work is not interesting at all.Scene Two:

A boy was shepherding(第二場：一個小孩在放牧)（男孩上，趕著一群羊，然后走到樹下休息）

Boy:（揮舞著他手中的鞭子）Hmn, I feel so bored.There is nobody here to talk with me.How board!(嗯，太無聊了。這兒一個說話的人也沒有。真沒意思！)Sheep: Baa…(咩咩……)Boy: Um, I have a good idea.I am sure people will come soon.（大聲喊）a wolf is coming.A wolf is coming.Come and help.I see a wolf.A big wolf.(狼來了。狼來了。)

Some farmers Are Working(第二場：幾個農民在干活)(山下，有幾名農民在干活。他們聽到了男孩的聲音。)旁白：Some farmers are working under the hill.They have heard the voice of the boy.Boy: wolf is coming.A wolf is coming.Help!(狼來了。狼來了。救命啊！)Farmer A: Hi, do you hear anyone crying?(嗨。你聽見有人在喊叫嗎？)Farmer B 聽)Yes.It’s the shepherd’s voice.(是啊，是那牧童的聲音。)Farmer C:(放下手中的活。)Yes.Let’s go and help him.Let’s kill the wolf.(是的，咱們去幫他。快去打狼吧。)(越來越多的農民停下手中的活兒，拿著棍棒和農具上山了。)旁白：The farmers go quickly and they want to save the child as quickly as possible.Scene Three: The Farmers Are Fooled(第三場：農民被愚弄了)(農民們拿著棍棒和農具爬上山。)Farmer A: Where’s the wolf? Where is it? Can you see it?(狼呢？它在哪兒？你看見了嗎？)Farmer C: Hi!Little boy!Are you all right? We are coming to kill the wolf.Where is it going?(嗨！小孩。你沒事吧？我們是來打狼的。狼在哪兒？)Boy: Hahaha!Sorry.There’s no wolf here.I’m joking.Haha…(哈哈哈！對不起，這兒沒有狼，我開玩笑呢。哈哈哈……)Farmer C: No wolf?

Farmer A: You cheat us.Famer B: It is not good to d o this.Boy: Hahaha!What fools!Hahaha……(哈！真傻！哈哈……)（農民們很生氣，下臺）

旁白：All of the villagers go back to the village.All of them are quite angry.The boy laughs.He thinks it is so funny that so many adults are cheated.The next day, the boy was board again.He wanted to do that another time.Boy: A wolf is coming.A wolf is coming.Help!Help!(狼來了。狼來了。救命啊！救命啊！)

Farmer B(對 Farmer C說): Maybe the wolf is really coming.(或許這一次狼真的來了。)Boy: Help!Help!Wolf is coming.The wolf is coming.(救命啊！救命啊！狼來了…….)Farmer A: The boy is fooling us.Farmer C: If the wolf really coming.Let’s go to the hill and kill the wolf.(咱們上山打狼去。)(他們向山頂爬，有人都累得爬不到山頂了。可是當他們爬到山頂時，卻發現根本沒有狼。)旁白：So, all the villagers trusted the boy once time.They climbed the hill, tired and tired.But, they saw nothing.Farmer A: Where is the wolf? Boy: Hahaha!Don’t angry with me, uncles.Why not sit down and have a chat?(哈哈哈！大叔大伯，你們別生氣。坐下來跟我聊會天，好嗎？)Farmer A: You naughty boy!You should not cheat anyone.If not, no one will trust with you.(你這頑皮的孩子！你可不應該再騙人啊！下次再也沒有人相信你了。)Farmer B: The boy fool us again.Let’s go!（這孩子又騙人，咱們走！）

Farmer C: What a bad boy!Don’t believe him.(這孩子真不象話！別在理了。)(男孩笑彎了腰。農民們氣憤地離開了。)旁白：The farmers left with fully anger.They promise not to help him next time if he doesn’t correct.But the boy laughed.In a sunny morning, the boy looked after sheep in the hill.Suddenly, a wolf was really coming.The boy was so scared.（音樂響）

Scene Four: A wolf Is Really Coming（第四場：狼真的來了）Boy:(他怕極了。)Wolf!Wolf!The wolf is really coming.Help!Help!Help!(狼！狼！狼真的來了。快救命啊！)Wolf: Hello, I’m a wolf.I’m from the north.Come on baby.So many fat sheep.I can have a good lunch.(這么多肥羊。我能吃頓豐盛的午餐了。)Boy: The wolf is coming.Help!The wolf is coming.Help!（狼咬死了所有的羊，追男孩，男孩滾下山被救）

Boy hhhh, no one believe me.旁白：The moral of this story is: lying is a bad behavior, it is not respect other people, other people will lose their trust.We should cultivate good quality and sincere.(這個故事的寓意是：說謊是一種不好的行為，這是不尊重別人，其他人將失去對他的信任。我們應該培養良好和真誠的品質。）