第一篇：美式幽默英語演講稿

演講中的美式幽默

美國人愛幽默，特別是大庭廣眾之中，演講者丟包袱、甩噱頭，營造出一種輕松歡快、與聽眾互動的氛圍，已經是現代美國文化的一種常態。馬克-吐溫的幽默細胞，已儼然浸入到美國文化的血液中。

市長的幽默

崔永元先生介紹了波斯頓市長在與中國市長同僚們會面時演說的幽默，波斯頓市長說道，他絕對沒有中國市長們那么威風，他在波斯頓當市長，更多的時候感覺自己就象個“墓地看守”，“看起來人挺多”但——“沒有一個聽我的”。呵呵。那是當然的啰，在美國是個人主義得道，強調天賦人權，人人平等。不象中國，千年來儒家的“君臣父子長幼有序”，人的尊嚴完全奠立于手中握有權力的大小。當了官，尤其當了個“高官”，周圍多半會有一批馬屁精們圍繞。馬屁精們放棄自己的尊嚴，整天把領導的官銜掛在嘴上，使得我們領導的感覺不要太好哦！

看看山東作協里的“作家”——在四川汶川地震時為追思被埋葬在廢墟下的學生寫的詩——對領導的吹捧和贊美到了不知人間羞恥的地步！

沒看現在國內，大家千軍萬馬爭當“公務員”—— 其中必

有不少人恐怕為的就是想要出人頭地，期待身邊有人來給他溜須拍馬嘛！

可在美國，是不流行拍馬屁的哎！牧師的幽默

去過美國教會聽禮拜的大凡都有體會，美國牧師大多講道時比較幽默，氣氛活躍；不象國內牧師那樣常常板起臉教訓人，把講道搞得枯燥無味。

有一次去教會參加美國朋友的一個婚禮，主持婚禮的牧師認真地向這對新人祝福，愿他倆“making love everyday!” 這句話，直白點的翻譯便是：做愛每一天！當然也可以有柔和點的翻譯：恩愛每一天！

完全木有過去在國內婚禮上主持人對新人的勵志話語：共同攜手——抓革命、促生產、為國家多做貢獻（其實也只讓生一個），，哈哈！

葬禮上的幽默

美國人演講的幽默甚至連葬禮也不放過。

我在美國通過電視直播觀看了蘋果公司創建人喬布斯去世后的葬禮現場，蘋果公司的一位高管，在葬禮上發表激情演說，他談到喬布斯一向追求細節的完美，不能容忍任何的細節疏忽。演講者說他“曾經多次陪喬布斯外出公干”，每到一地在賓館住下，他把自己攜帶的行李中的衣物取出、擺放好，就立馬會接到喬布斯打來的電話，喬布斯對這家賓館房間乃至對這

個賓館的某個細節不滿意，要他“收拾行李”，準備跟他“換賓館飯店”。以致后來他再陪喬布斯外出，到賓館住下后，他連自己的行李都不敢打開，就坐在房間電話機旁邊等——等喬布斯打電話來，準備換賓館，“這樣比較方便”，省得把東西剛拿出來，又要放進去。

會場一片笑聲，哎，這哪像“葬禮”啊？ 有木有搞錯？ 偶滴油墨 幽默英語演講稿 love your mother 愛你的母親

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你為什么哭?一個小男孩問他的媽媽.because im a woman, she told him.因為我是女人,她告訴他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答

his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........媽媽擁抱了他說,你永遠也不會明白,但沒關系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后來小男孩問他的父親媽媽為什么似乎在無緣無故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都會常常沒有原因地哭泣,這是他的父親唯一可以解釋的...the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩長大,成了男人的時候, 他仍然奇怪媽媽為什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把這件事禱告給上帝,他問上帝,為什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special.i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 當我創造女人的時候, 我決定把她造的很特別, 我讓她的雙肩強壯的足以能夠承擔整個世界,但是, 卻讓她的雙臂溫柔的足夠去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection even from her own children.我給她內在的力量去忍受生產的劇痛, 也讓她有勇氣承受無數的傷害, 甚至這些傷害有時會來自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我給她頑強,讓她能夠不斷地前進, 并且照顧自己的家人和朋友, 甚至當每個人都放棄的時候, 她卻能夠堅強地在疾病和勞累之時毫無怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears....我給她內心的敏感,讓她在任何環境下都深愛著自己的孩子.甚至在他們深深傷害她的時候．．．

她用那特別的力量，讓年幼孩子的在受傷的時候感到安慰，也能夠讓年輕的子女消除緊張與恐懼．．．

i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....我給她力量關心她的丈夫，盡管他會犯錯．我用男人的肋骨創造了女人，使女人可以保護男人的心臟．．． i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我給她智慧，讓她知道一個好丈夫永遠不會傷害他的妻子，但有時候會試煉她堅定的永遠跟隨自己丈夫的能力與決心． for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to use whenever needed and when you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因為這些種種的困難，我也同樣賜她流下眼淚，這是當她在需要時可以使用的，這是她唯一的軟弱之處．．．

當你看到她哭泣的時候，告訴她你有多么地愛她，告訴她她為所有人所做的一切，即使這樣她可能還是會哭泣，但你會使她的心里得到安慰． she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.她是獨特的！

請把這個信息傳遞給你認識的女人，有母親，姐妹和特別的女性在他們生命里的人． but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.篇三：【英語】美式幽默 1.is she big-boned? 她是不是很魁梧??？ big-bone看字面解釋就知道是指骨架很粗大。這對美女(美國的女人)來說是見怪不怪的。在電影something about mary中就有這一句，is she big-boned? 那嬌小的女子怎么說？嬌小就是petite。很多從亞洲來女生來美國都抱怨買不到合適的衣服，其實很多店都有一區petite。去那里找找，保證你會有意想不到的收獲。若是真的找不到，就試試teenager那兒也有許多合適的衣服。2.we have a female shortage here。

我們這里鬧女人荒。

由于我的學校是理工學院，所以男女比例自然是不均勻，有一次連老美也不禁感嘆道，we have a female shortage here。這樣的說法是不是聽來很特別？其實我看根本就不只是female shortage而是 female drought。或是更夸張一點的講法，we have a female extinction here。3.you are a freaking yankee。

你是怪怪的北方佬。

老美彼此之間很喜歡拿對方的出生地作文章。因為南北的差異，所以或多或少北方人看不起南方人，南方人也看不起北方人。yankee 是南北戰爭時北軍的士兵叫yankee, 現在一般指北方佬。而freaking是說這人很怪，或者解釋成怪胎也可以。4.i am laying low。

我躲起來了。

有一次我問一個老美，how are you doing? 結果他回我i am laying low。結果在場的老美都在笑，但是只有我聽不懂。其實laying low就是說躲的低低的，怕被別人看到，就是想辦法混就對了。事后老美跟我解釋說這句話其實沒那么好笑，主要是因為我聽不懂，大家才又覺得更好笑。5.i cut the cheese。

我放屁了。

一般人說放屁這個字都會用fart這個字，但是cut the cheese也有放屁的意思在里面。為什么呢？因為大家想想切cheese時會發出什么聲音？是不是和放屁很像呢？但是這樣的用法似乎并不常用，我只在某部很爛的片子：mysterious man里聽過一次。6.do you go out with your gun loaded? 你要帶著你上膛的槍出門嗎？

此槍非彼槍。大家應該知道我指的是什么樣的 槍, 這句也是我去看something about mary這部電影時學到的。使用時機就是有些男人出去跟女人約會，滿腦子想的就是如何跟她上床，你要糗糗他，就可以這么說 do you go out with your gun loaded? she probably will get hurt。7.she is a big gossip。

她是八卦夫人。

gossip平時指的是八卦新聞，但它也可以拿來形容一個人很八卦。所以she is a big gossip就是說她是個八卦夫人?；蚴悄阋部梢哉f，she is gossipy。中文里講的廣播電臺在美國倒是不常見，反而是有另一種說說 she is an information bureau(她是情報局)也蠻有趣的。8.if the boys stare at you, they have guts to suck your teeth!如果男生盯著你看，他們就有膽親你。

這是我看電視full house學來的，是二個姐妹的對話，這句話有三個地方我覺的很棒，第一個是stare at you, 就是指盯著人家看的意思，have guts 就是說有膽子的意思，(這是一個巧合，中文英文說有膽子都是說有勇氣的意思！)而最后一個 suck your teeth 則是指親嘴的意思，很有趣，但是像這種句子是小孩子說的，難登大雅之堂。

親嘴還有另外一個口語的用法：smooch 例如 i didnt smooch that girl last night。我昨晚沒親那個女孩。9.she is vertically challenged 她的身高受到了挑戰

這樣的說法就是說人家很矮的意思，但是是比較婉轉(political correctness)的說法。什么challenged 就是說有某方面的障礙，如mentally challenged就是說心智障礙，也就是低能兒的意思。

關于這個political correctness老美也常用，不過中文并沒有適當相對應的翻法。所謂的 political correctness就是說為了不得罪某一族群的人，而在用辭上加以修飾，讓它聽來不會歧視某一族群。例如 chairman這個字，可能會得罪某些女性主義者，所以就發明了chairperson這個字。這樣子的轉變，就可以算是 political correctness。10.where can i dump these white elephants? 這些無用的垃圾我要丟到哪里？

比如說家中的286計算機用之無味，棄之可惜，放在那里一擺就是好幾年，這種垃圾就叫white elephant。只是這樣的說法比較少見。不過有些人還是會這么用，我曾聽一個老美他說，the fountain is a white elephant.意思是，這個噴水池真是廢物。

有些老美會在自家的庭院前辦所謂的garage sale, 就是把一些家里很少用到的東西拿出來賣。有些人的告示上會寫white elephant sale。如果你不知道whte elephant指的是無用之物的話，你可能會覺得蠻奇怪的，為什么有人在賣白大象呢？篇四：美式幽默 美式幽默

中國式笑話與美國式笑話有很大的區別，你可以試著看看一下幾個小故事，如果覺得真心好笑。那么說明你具有美式幽默哦！jack told his wife, helen, that he wanted to spend his vacation where he had never been before.helen said, “how about the kitchen?” charles came home at four in the morning and found his wife lying awake in the bed.where you until this hour of the morning? she screamed.ignoring what she asked, charelrs opened his bedroom closet and found a naked man cringing on the floor.chareles asked, who is this man? dont change the subject!replied his wife.篇五：美式幽默的字幕翻譯論文

畢 業 論 文

學生姓名

學位層次 學 士

院 系 外 語

專 業 英 語

指導教師

完成日期 contents

abstract.........................................................................................1 abstract(chinese)..........................................................................2 i.introduction................................................................................3 ii.the principles of film subtitling translation of american humor.4 2.2 cultural return...................................................................6 2.3 colloquial domestication.....................................................7 ⅲ.the translation methods of american humor.............................8 3.1 the translation methods of the style dislocation.................8 3.2 the translation methods of irony........................................8 3.3 the translation methods of exaggeration.............................9 3.4 the translation methods of allusion..................................10 ⅳ.conclusion..............................................................................11

reference.....................................................................................12 abstract key words: american humor;film subtitling translation;translation principle;translation method 摘 要 電影在現今變得越來越流行，中國人被外語電影包圍者，而外語電影業給中國人的生活帶來了特別的美式幽默，全新的文化模式也給字幕翻譯者帶來了挑戰，這篇文章圍繞美式幽默字幕翻譯展開的。美式幽默在外語電影作品中無處不在，它對幽默的字幕翻譯處理也是頗有難度。電影中不同類型，不同形式的美式幽默為劇情增加了很多亮點。電影字幕這一文化載體要對其進行研究必定要置身于整個社會歷史大環境下，不能只考慮語言文本的對等。這也對傳統的翻譯三原則提出了挑戰，它在翻譯上的難度也引起了人們對字幕翻譯原則與方法的思考。

第二篇：演講中的美式幽默

演講中的美式幽默

美國人愛幽默，特別是大庭廣眾之中，演講者丟包袱、甩噱頭，營造出一種輕松歡快、與聽眾互動的氛圍，已經是現代美國文化的一種常態。馬克-吐溫的幽默細胞，已儼然浸入到美國文化的血液中。

市長的幽默

崔永元先生介紹了波斯頓市長在與中國市長同僚們會面時演說的幽默，波斯頓市長說道，他絕對沒有中國市長們那么威風，他在波斯頓當市長，更多的時候感覺自己就象個“墓地看守”，“看起來人挺多”但——“沒有一個聽我的”。呵呵。

那是當然的啰，在美國是個人主義得道，強調天賦人權，人人平等。不象中國，千年來儒家的“君臣父子長幼有序”，人的尊嚴完全奠立于手中握有權力的大小。當了官，尤其當了個“高官”，周圍多半會有一批馬屁精們圍繞。馬屁精們放棄自己的尊嚴，整天把領導的官銜掛在嘴上，使得我們領導的感覺不要太好哦！

看看山東作協里的“作家”——在四川汶川地震時為追思被埋葬在廢墟下的學生寫的詩——對領導的吹捧和贊美到了不知人間羞恥的地步！

沒看現在國內，大家千軍萬馬爭當“公務員”—— 其中必有不少人恐怕為的就是想要出人頭地，期待身邊有人來給他溜須拍馬嘛！

可在美國，是不流行拍馬屁的哎！

牧師的幽默

去過美國教會聽禮拜的大凡都有體會，美國牧師大多講道時比較幽默，氣氛活躍；不象國內牧師那樣常常板起臉教訓人，把講道搞得枯燥無味。

有一次去教會參加美國朋友的一個婚禮，主持婚禮的牧師認真地向這對新人祝福，愿他倆“Making love everyday!”

這句話，直白點的翻譯便是：做愛每一天！

當然也可以有柔和點的翻譯：恩愛每一天！

完全木有過去在國內婚禮上主持人對新人的勵志話語：共同攜手——抓革命、促生產、為國家多做貢獻（其實也只讓生一個），，哈哈！

葬禮上的幽默

美國人演講的幽默甚至連葬禮也不放過。

我在美國通過電視直播觀看了蘋果公司創建人喬布斯去世后的葬禮現場，蘋果公司的一位高管，在葬禮上發表激情演說，他談到喬布斯一向追求細節的完美，不能容忍任何的細節疏忽。演講者說他“曾經多次陪喬布斯外出公干”，每到一地在賓館住下，他把自己攜帶的行李中的衣物取出、擺放好，就立馬會接到喬布斯打來的電話，喬布斯對這家賓館房間乃至對這個賓館的某個細節不滿意，要他“收拾行李”，準備跟他“換賓館飯店”。

以致后來他再陪喬布斯外出，到賓館住下后，他連自己的行李都不敢打開，就坐在房間電話機旁邊等——等喬布斯打電話來，準備換賓館，“這樣比較方便”，省得把東西剛拿出來，又要放進去。

會場一片笑聲，哎，這哪像“葬禮”?。?有木有搞錯？

偶滴油墨

偶在米國多年，也少不了被邀請到各種場合去演講，小到出席各種畫廊和博物館個展開幕式，大到去大學——從耶魯到普林斯頓再到英國牛津，從小教會到大教會再到萬人世界大會，使用英語演講這本身是個學習過程，也是一個挑戰。而要使得自己的演講生動，便要學會穿插些美式幽默——這更是挑戰中的挑戰。

在墨爾本獲得榮譽博士學位時的演講：

下面的片片是偶一個多月前，我應世界基督教聯合會WCC邀請前往韓國釜山出席第10屆世界基督教大會，在APEC會議大廳為來自世界各地神學院校的教授、學子演講，談神學與美學藝術： 演講結束后，許多專家學者前來祝賀演講成功，同時我又接到一些盛情邀請,呵呵。

生活本身就是個挑戰，要努力學習自己原本不擅長的技能。

挑戰自己用非母語的語言講出語境、營造出演講的情緒感染氛圍。其中最重要的一點，在演講中要學會融合美式幽默，當然，絕不可能用“尊敬的各位領導、冒號，，”之類啦。

象這次驅車前來伊利諾伊州，到一個名叫GPS的教會參加我的畫展開幕式演講，我是12月7日開車從明尼蘇達過來，沒想到第二天，伊州這邊竟然也下了漫天大雪，而且是今年首次強降雪，到處白茫茫一片，開車極其困難。這是8日當天美國東部大雪的車禍現場：

可熱情的觀眾-偶的真正的粉絲們——依然不顧天寒地凍、大雪飛天，堅持前來給我捧場。讓我好感動滴。

開場，我就向大家抱歉：對不起大家，都怪我把明州的大雪帶到你們伊州來了。I do apologize to bring Minnesota heavy snow here，, I am awfully sorry,，話鋒一轉： 謝謝教會詹姆斯牧師，感謝他盡心安排了我的畫展以及安排我和我太太前來訪問的一切，一切都顯得那么美好——除了這該死的天氣！

這時詹姆斯牧師站起來，也向大家致意抱歉：他沒有把天氣安排好，但其實——他原本想安排一個好天氣，但天氣不聽他的話。呵呵。

大家哄堂大笑。

我繼續說：現在，外面是寒冷的，但里面是熱的。Cold outside, warm inside.我跟大家說，昨天傍晚我開車到這邊來，但非常奇怪，我車上的GPS始終輸不進詹姆斯牧師為我安排的在LOVES PARK的假日酒店，輸了街道號碼，沒有！再輸假日酒店，也沒有！最近的也是在芝加哥周邊的衛星城鎮，不在這里。天正黑下來，我焦急萬分，你們看：我是應你們GPS教會（這家教會的名字很絕-就叫GPS）邀請前來，但我車上的GPS不工作！I am invited by GPS church, but it seems that my GPS doesn’t work here!

哈哈！

（后來我致電詹姆斯牧師，他立刻驅車前來，將我帶往酒店，原來是個嶄新的酒店，衛星還沒有輸入它的信息呢！）

偶的演講就是這樣開始的，大家看看，偶是不是已經學到點美式油墨啦？

第三篇：大學英語演講稿幽默

新初中幽默英語演講稿 love your mother 愛你的母親

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你為什么哭?一個小男孩問他的媽媽.because im a woman, she told him.因為我是女人,她告訴他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答

his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........媽媽擁抱了他說,你永遠也不會明白,但沒關系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后來小男孩問他的父親媽媽為什么似乎在無緣無故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都會常常沒有原因地哭泣,這是他的父親唯一可以解釋的...the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩長大,成了男人的時候, 他仍然奇怪媽媽為什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把這件事禱告給上帝,他問上帝,為什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special.i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 當我創造女人的時候, 我決定把她造的很特別,篇二：大學英語演講稿范文

《大學英語演講稿例文》 lucky for me, life in university is rich and colorful.with more free time,we can do many more things besides study, such as joining societies clubs, and taking part-time jobs.such drinkin coke is wonderful, despite the undesirble consequent hiccups.its bitter, sour and peppery, but also sweet.and youll even feel excited after gulping down a glass.a college experience university life is like drinking coke.im experiencing it.and i know, i enjoy it!我一直在大學呆了一年多。我兒時,我才意識到大學生活就像喝可樂。的生活經歷口味、酸、甜、苦、辣。我從省,離這兒很遠。我常常想念媽媽的親戚、朋友,在我的家鄉。然而,我經常見到。那么孤獨總是會陪伴我。我很難過,我無法和在一起。幸運的是,我在大學生活是多彩的。有更多的閑暇,可以做更多的事情除了學習,如加入社團俱樂部,打工。的活動,使的生活多彩,而且還能幫助改進各樣的技能。大學是社會,里學到的微縮有利于今后的生活。的人生之路不會一帆風順。挫折是無法的。失敗的的考試,跟男孩女孩的朋友,或者拒絕由有前途的公司,會讓的挫折。有時候,覺得很沮喪,甚至大哭起來。喝可樂是美妙的,undesirble隨之打嗝。這是苦的,酸和暴躁,而且甜。你甚至可以感覺到激動下一杯。全身后,大學的經驗是成長的一?？奁?微笑著,墜入愛河,受傷,離開,學習,然后做的人。

大學生活就像喝可樂。我的感受。我知道,我喜歡它!篇三：中英文幽默演講 幽默演講——調侃自己（中英對照）

演講者如何調侃自己

創新句子：你們或者睡覺，或者不睡，只要不打呼嚕，我就接著講。

幽默注釋：演講者講得太糟糕了，組織者哭得很傷心。

演講結束時，宴會主人感謝你從繁忙的日程中抽出時間來——你泰然自若，優雅地點頭微笑著，心里非常清楚你日歷上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝點咖啡。poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program---and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注釋：一些老干部退休后沒什么事干，有人請他參加一些活動，他還假裝很忙，好象推開了很多事才趕去似的。

過去我演講時常常會比較緊張，但那時我看到一條信息說如果你想象所有的觀眾都是裸體會有所幫助。此時此刻，我站在這里想象著觀眾都是裸體，真的起作用，我不再緊張了，但眼睛有些疲勞。i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked.and so, at this very moment, i’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked.and it really works.i no suffer from nervousness.eyestrain.yes.幽默注釋：把觀眾想象成裸體，意思是我不怕你們，就不緊張了。創新句子：大部分人站在講臺上都會有點兒緊張，我屬于少部分人，我非常緊張。

我本人不自負——我簡直不能告訴你們我是多么欽佩我這一點。personally, i have never been conceited---and i can’t tell you how much i admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因為自己不自負，所以變得非常驕傲。

創新句子：我一點兒都不自負，我希望別人也這么看我。

我先用簡單明了的英語演講，以后我再翻譯給律師聽。let me put this into plain english.i’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注釋：律師總喜歡用復雜的語言，簡單的話都聽不懂了。

創新句子：我的講話有三個版本，小學生版本，中學生版本，大學生版本，你是聽小學一年紀版的，還是小學二年紀版的？

如果你聽過這個故事，請不要打斷我，我就知道這一個故事。if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one i know.幽默注釋：就是你知道兩個故事，講故事前也可以這么說。創新句子：我講個笑話，如果你們聽過，也希望裝做沒聽過，我也這樣照顧你們。

演講就象給草坪澆水，如果有四分之一的水滲下去你就滿意了。making a speech is like watering a lawn.you’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.幽默注釋：有人打呼嚕，有人說話，都是正常的，有四分之一觀眾聽就不錯了。

幽默句子：即興演講的開場白。

創新句子：我不知道你們會不會喜歡我的演講，我不知道我要講點兒什么。

開始前我想告訴你們下面的演講已經編輯成了電視節目，我現在少講20分鐘，我們能夠及時趕回家看2臺的節目。before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television.i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.幽默注釋：放著現場不看，偏要回家在電視上看。

可能你們有些人知道我今晚出現在這里有兩個原因：第一個原因是你們的計劃委員會一直在設法尋找一個聰明、有趣、老練的演講者，——他們找到了。第二個原因是那個人病了，所以就打電話把我找來了。

幽默注釋：一開始好象在說自己很牛，其實就是個臨時替場。

創新句子：我認為我演講很風趣，可為什么沒人笑呢？

有人有舞臺恐懼癥，我沒有；舞臺不會怎么樣我，是觀眾快把我嚇死了！some people suffer from stage fright.i don’t.the stage doesn’t bother me at all.it’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!幽默注釋：stage fright舞臺恐懼癥，而不是舞臺嚇唬我。

我們每個人都希望能在某一時刻把時鐘撥回去。如果我能夠把時鐘撥回去 at one time or another, i think each of us has wished we could turn back the clock.i know if i could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, i’d be the happiest person in this room.because that’s when i left my speech on the kitchen table.幽默注釋：自己上臺前還在刻苦練習，演講稿落家里了，講錯了希望觀眾包涵。

我不想吹牛，但上次我演講時所有的觀眾都站了起來，他們再也沒有坐下，直到走到他們的汽車那兒。i don’t want to brag, but the last time i did this it brought the audience to its feet.and they never sat down again until they reached their cars.幽默注釋：觀眾聽他演講，都站起來走了，他還在吹牛呢。

創新句子：我演講時用一種平緩的語速娓娓道來，觀眾睡得很香甜。如果我有點兒猶豫，你們一定要原諒我，這是我第一次飯后演講——在賣當勞里沖我的小孩兒喊叫除外。if i’m a little hesitant, you’ll have to excuse me.this is the first after-dinner speech i’ve ever made---except for yelling at my kids in mcdonald’s.幽默注釋：自嘲自己演講沒什么經驗。

創新句子：你可能知道我已經養成了飯后演講的習慣。

我不習慣面對這么多觀眾演講，讓我鼓起勇氣的一件事情就是我在談論我最喜歡的題目——我。

i’m not used to speaking to such a large audience.the one thing that gives me courage is that i’m speaking on my favorite subject---me.幽默注釋：電視上老是邀請一些名人在那兒大談自己，這些人開場可以這么說。人們總問我為什么我戴頂10加侖的紅色帽子（或者一些其它非常顯眼的衣服飾品），我告訴他們那是我采取的積極現實的生活態度。我知道不管發生什么事情，善良的上帝總在注視著我們?，F在地球上有60億人，我希望上帝能從蕓蕓眾生中一眼就挑出我來。people always ask me why i wear a big red ten gallon hat(or some other very noticeable article of clothing)and i tell them.it has to do with taking a positive but practical view of life.for instance, i know that no matter what happens, the good lord is watching over us.then again, there are now six billion of us, so i want to make darn sure he can pick me out of the crowd.篇四：大學英語演講稿 大學英語演講稿:面對壓力 good morning , boys and girls.i am pu lijuan and glad to give you a speech about stress.psychologist tell us that stress is a state of worry caused by the problem of living , such as too much work or study , heavy responsibilities.the chief problem we should face to is our attitude towards stress.people usually say they can not live in the sun except they escape from stress.it’s stress , they may feel very satisfied with the current life but lack of power to discover new things.too much satisfaction result in nothing except a countermarch of the society.no stress , no development.so a certain amount of stress is good.it can stimulate us and increase our level of alertness.and our answer to stress is another vital problem.how to do with ourselves when stress suddenly break into our life ? to wave the white flag and admit our unability , to give up to our ideality , or worsely , just to suicide as to put an end to everything … of cause not.the principle is to tackle with stress gently and harmoniously.we should try our best to release ourselves.such as to do some exercise , to listen to t music to ease our minds and to learn to view these changes of life as challenges.it’s no use crying over spilt milk.only to accept what has happened can solve the problem.ok , i think i was under large stress ５ minutes before , that is all.thank you very much!《大學英語演講稿范文》 i have been in university for about one year.during my stay here, i came to realize that university life is like drinking coke.we experience all tastes of life here, sour, sweet, bitter and hot.lucky for me, life in university is rich and colorful.with more free time,we can do many more things besides study, such as joining societies clubs, and taking part-time jobs.such activities not only make our life more colorful, but also help us improve all kinds of skills.the university is a society miniature, what we learn here will benefit our future life.university life is like drinking coke.im experiencing it.and i know, i enjoy it!我一直在大學呆了一年多。我兒時,我才意識到大學生活就像喝可樂。的生活經歷口味、酸、甜、苦、辣。

我從省,離這兒很遠。我常常想念媽媽的親戚、朋友,在我的家鄉。然而,我經常見到。那么孤獨總是會陪伴我。我很難過,我無法和在一起。幸運的是,我在大學生活是多彩的。有更多的閑暇,可以做更多的事情除了學習,如加入社團俱樂部,打工。的活動,使的生活多彩,而且還能幫助改進各樣的技能。大學是社會,里學到的微縮有利于今后的生活。的人生之路不會一帆風順。挫折是無法的。失敗的的考試,跟男孩女孩的朋友,或者拒絕由有前途的公司,會讓的挫折。有時候,覺得很沮喪,甚至大哭起來。喝可樂是美妙的,undesirble隨之打嗝。這是苦的,酸和暴躁,而且甜。你甚至可以感覺到激動下一杯。全身后,大學的經驗是成長的一?？奁?微笑著,墜入愛河,受傷,離開,學習,然后做的人。

大學生活就像喝可樂。我的感受。

第四篇：三分鐘英語演講稿幽默

幽默英語演講稿

love your mother 愛你的母親

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你為什么哭?一個小男孩問他的媽媽.because im a woman, she told him.因為我是女人,她告訴他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答

his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........媽媽擁抱了他說,你永遠也不會明白,但沒關系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后來小男孩問他的父親媽媽為什么似乎在無緣無故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都會常常沒有原因地哭泣,這是他的父親唯一可以解釋的...the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩長大,成了男人的時候, 他仍然奇怪媽媽為什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把這件事禱告給上帝,他問上帝,為什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special.i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 當我創造女人的時候, 我決定把她造的很特別, 我讓她的雙肩強壯的足以能夠承擔整個世界,但是, 卻讓她的雙臂溫柔的足夠去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection even from her own children.我給她內在的力量去忍受生產的劇痛, 也讓她有勇氣承受無數的傷害, 甚至這些傷害有時會來自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我給她頑強,讓她能夠不斷地前進, 并且照顧自己的家人和朋友, 甚至當每個人都放棄的時候, 她卻能夠堅強地在疾病和勞累之時毫無怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears....我給她內心的敏感,讓她在任何環境下都深愛著自己的孩子.甚至在他們深深傷害她的時候．．．

她用那特別的力量，讓年幼孩子的在受傷的時候感到安慰，也能夠讓年輕的子女消除緊張與恐懼．．．

i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....我給她力量關心她的丈夫，盡管他會犯錯．我用男人的肋骨創造了女人，使女人可以保護男人的心臟．．． i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我給她智慧，讓她知道一個好丈夫永遠不會傷害他的妻子，但有時候會試煉她堅定的永遠跟隨自己丈夫的能力與決心． for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness....when you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因為這些種種的困難，我也同樣賜她流下眼淚，這是當她在需要時可以使用的，這是她唯一的軟弱之處．．．

當你看到她哭泣的時候，告訴她你有多么地愛她，告訴她她為所有人所做的一切，即使這樣她可能還是會哭泣，但你會使她的心里得到安慰． she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.她是獨特的！

請把這個信息傳遞給你認識的女人，有母親，姐妹和特別的女性在他們生命里的人． but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.篇二：3-5分鐘英語演講稿(30篇)最好英語演講稿匯總3——5分鐘英語演講稿匯總（30篇）

六、周怡雪，19歲，上海 i believe in our future honorable judges, fellow students: good afternoon!recently, ther is a heated debate in our society.the college students are the beneficiaries of a rare privilege, who receive exceptional education at extraordinary places.but will we be able to face the challenge and support ourselves against all odds? will we be able to better the lives of others? will we be able to accept the responsibility of building the future of our country? the cynics say we care for nothing other than grades;and we neglect the need for character cultivation.but again, the cynics are wrong.we care deeply for each other, we cherish freedom, we treasure justice, and we seek truth.last week, thousands of my fellow students had their blood type tested in order to make a contribution for the children who suffer from blood cancer.as college students, we are adolescents at the critical turning point in our lives.we all face a fundamental choice: cynicism or faith, each will profoundly impact our future, or even the future of our country.i believe in all my fellow classmates.though we are still inexperienced and even a little bit childish.i believe that we have the courage and faith to meet any challenge and take on our responsibilities.we are preparing to assume new responsibilities and tasks, and to use the education we have received to make our world a better place.i believe in our future.我對未來充滿信心

尊敬的評委，各位同學：

下午好！

最近，社會上有一場很激烈的爭論。大學生是一種稀有特權的享有者，在很棒的地方接受高等教育。但是，我們能面對挑戰而無所畏懼嗎？我們能夠改善他人的生活嗎？我們能夠承擔建設祖國未來的重任嗎？

懷疑論者說大學生是被寵壞的一代，一丁點挫折都受不了。但是他們錯了，我所看到的大學生正在努力的學習獨立生活。我們互相幫助打掃衛生，一起上街砍價購物，一起參加兼職工作來賺零花錢。

懷疑論者說我們除了成績什么都不關心，從而忽略了性格的培養。但是，他們又錯了。我們彼此關心，我們向往自由，我們珍惜公正，我們追求真理。上個星期，很多我的同學去驗血，為了給患血癌的孩子貢獻自己的力量。

作為大學生，我們是處在人生分水嶺的青年。我們都面臨一個重要的選擇：懷疑人生還是相信自己，每一種都會給我們的人生帶來重大的影響，甚至影響我們祖國的未來。我相信我們的同學們，雖然我們依然缺乏經驗，甚至有些志氣，但是我相信我們有勇氣和自信來面對生活的挑戰并承擔我們的責任。我們正努力準備接受新的任務，用我們所學習的知識將世界變得更美好。我對我們的未來充滿信心。

大學生英語演講稿17 change the ingredients of your life

十七、王晨，20歲，安徽 change the ingredients of your life if kindness is added to a strange you will have a friend;but if hostility is added, you will have an enemy.if love is added to a pile of red bricks you will have a home, but if hatred is add to those bricks , you will have an concentration camp.so my dear friend, if faith, hope, love, endurance are added to your life, you will find the confidence to conquer your limitation and embrace new challenges.and hopefully with my speech included, you will have a fantastic speech contest.改變生活的味道

這是一杯白開水，平淡無味，對吧？可是加上點糖呢，他嘗起來會有甜味；如果加的是蘇打水，味道就會變苦。人生同樣如此——個中滋味在于我們的選擇。

善待他人，你會擁有朋友；但如果充滿惡意，則會多個敵人。將愛賦予一堆紅磚，你會擁有一個家；用仇恨來澆鑄這堆紅磚，就會鑄成一座集中營。

因此親愛的朋友們，不要抱怨人生乏味，世間無望。不喜歡生活的味道，那就換一換生活的調料吧！

三年前，我重達100多公斤，這給我帶來了很多尷尬和挫折：體育課老是不及格，總被女孩們嘲笑，更不敢當眾發表意見。幸而由于祖母的鼓勵，我不在消極人生，而是充滿自信。她曾經說過：“孩子，如果體形無法改變，為什么不把它看做自己獨特的風格呢？” 我開始這樣來審視人生，通過改變生活的視角，我信心大增地去改變我的人生，很快就發現一個嶄新的世界。

朋友們，將信念，希望，愛意和忍性溶入生命，你就會找到自信，克服缺點，迎接人生新的挑戰。最后我的演講包括在內，希望你會看到一場精彩的演講比賽。

大學生英語演講稿16

十六、楊穎，21歲，海南 when two cultures meet, there may be things in one culture, which do not fit into the tradition of the other.when this happens, we need to learn to understand and respect the customs of another culture.then there are certain things some people may not like.to this, i will say, if you do not like it, please try to tolerate it.to learn to tolerate what you personally don’t like is a great virtue at a time when different cultures mix and merge.before us, there are two rivers, eastern and western cultures.at present, they may run in different courses.but eventually, they will converge into the vast sea of human culture.right now, i can see peoples of eastern and western cultures, standing side by side, singing the olympic theme song: we are hand in hand, heart to heart, together we will shape a beautiful tomorrow!thank you!讓我們共同感受東西方的融合吉卜林說過:東方是東方，西方是西方，二者永不相聚。但是一個世紀后的今天，東西方相匯了!它們相聚在經濟領域，它們相聚在教育領域，它們相聚在藝術的殿堂。有人爭論說:這種融合需要我們在東方和西方之間做出選擇，但我卻堅信最美好的未來在于東方和

西方創造性的融合。我們可以將西方的思想，觀念和技術變為我們自己所用的東西。我喜愛京劇和河南豫劇，因為它們經常使我想起自己是誰。但我也熱衷于流行音樂，特別是英文歌曲。于是我將東方的旋律和西方的語言結合到了一起，它叫做西方版的河南豫劇。

當兩種文化相結合的時候，也許一方的文化中的某些東西不適應另一方的傳統文化。當此種情況出現時，我們需要試著理解并接受另一種文化中的風俗習慣。然而，也許有些東西你并不喜歡，對于此，我可以說，如果你不喜歡它，請試著去容忍它。當兩種文化融合的時候，試著去容忍你個人不喜歡的東西是一種美德。

在我們面前有兩條河流，東方文化和西方文化。現在，它們也許正朝著不同的方向流去。但是最終它們將匯合到人類文化的海洋里。

就在此時此刻，我看見東方和西方的人肩并肩的站在一起，高唱奧林匹克主題曲:我們手拉手，心靠著心，共同創造美好的明天!大學生英語演講稿英語風采大賽半決賽選手自備演講賞析(大學成人組)

十五、黃揚，21，福建 farewell, indifference who was the most well-known figure in china last month? it’s ma jiajue—the college student who murdered 4 of his roommates.many people attributed his crime to his poverty and deficient education.in my opinion, his crime also has much to do with his classmates’ indifference.indifference is a terrible disease in today’s colleges and the whole society.it’s not rare that two students who have studied together for 4 years have never spoken to each other.it’s not rare that a student who has been absent from class for several days is not noticed at all.it’s also not rare that a student who has severe psychological problems is not cared about at all.some people may say ‘what the students with psychological problems like ma jiajue need is not care but psychotherapy.” however, when people are ill, what they need most is not only medical treatment, but also care from people around them.every smile and every caring word will bring sunshine to their life.篇三：三分鐘英語演講稿 家推薦一篇優秀的3分鐘英語演講稿的范文，供大家學習！good evening ,ladies and gentlemen: 晚上好，女士們，先生們：

非常感謝你傅聰來選擇在這樣一個寒冷夜晚.今天我的話題是關于選擇和process.a研究表明，一個人必須作出的選擇73一一天，如此眾多的選擇，有一天，人們容易混淆，因此害怕作出錯誤的選擇，他們毫不猶豫地并最終錯過了真正的生活的一部分。在我看來，下面的部分是更重要的不是選擇。沒有絕對的對錯選擇，但精彩或乏味的生活，這使得該進程的差異。

生活是一盒巧克力，你永遠不知道下一步你會得到。阿甘正傳作出任何決定，并為自己的成就，但他取得巨大成功與他堅強的意志的進程。這個過程是不是道路本身，而是態度和感情，謹慎，勇氣和毅力，我們作為我們遇到了新的經驗和意想不到的障礙。以自己作為一個例子，我改變了我的主要當我成為一個研究生。經過選擇，天已經嚴厲的me.i無法理解新的經驗在所有。因為他們是密切相關的數學，我的教訓面前只字不提。然而密集的信念，這是很好的機會，我的經驗新思想和新的挑戰我自己，我依然存在。我要求幫助每一個通道和reorgonized我的生活。漸漸地，我能理解一些地方，甚至發現數學 interesting.moreover，我學到采取行動而不是抱怨?；叵肫饋?，選擇沒有留下任何痕跡在我的腦海，但幸福和痛苦的過去4個月成為一個難忘的經驗，我的生活。

無論選擇是，享受這一過程。在這個過程中，您可能會得到啟發和新發現，改善和進步將來找你。這些都是最美麗的風景，只有道路上能看到it.these讓您的生活多姿多彩。

沒有必要，我donnot要判斷是否正確或錯誤，我來這里，但我祝賀我自己，因為我增益和享受這美妙的經驗。因此，我親愛的朋友們，永遠不會擔心您的選擇和享受的過程。我相信你會得到一些新的和有趣后，今晚你選擇到這里來。謝謝您!ideal society。good evening, ladies and gentlemen: i’d like to start with a group of pictures.modern and advanced? this society forgets, and ignores the other two thirds of human beings.its far from the ideal!we call ideal as a utopian, a place where reality does not exist.a few people still look forward to the ideals.we make fun of them, considering they are naive.will we still be content to live in such a society, if misfortune drops to us? no!of cause not!when we feel the warmth of the sun, these people, endure great sorrows and pains.can we imagine that? they are our brother and sisters!facing them, will we still have the mood shouting for our own freedom? facing them, will we still want to have more and more unnecessary stuff? they are unable to meet their needs, even the basic needs of survival!everyone, as a member of humanity, shouldnt feel ashamed? our luxury deprived their lives, our indifference violated our soul, and our barbarity destroyed human civilization!whats the ideal society? its a society no one worries about their living, a society no one is refused from education, a society everyone can pursue his/her own happiness!the ideal society is filled with love, joy and kindness.in that society, we can touch the others hearts, we can share our dreams and most important, we can just be the true men!lets break the ethnic divide, bridge the gap between rich and poor, hand in hand, to build a great wall, protecting us from evil;to construct a steady bridge, connecting reality to the ideal society!lets pursue for that, thats the only way to the bright future!they are watching us!thank you!smoking is a greater cause of death and disability than any single disease, says the world health organisation.according to their figures, it is responsible for approximately five million deaths worldwide every year.tobacco smoking is a known or probable cause of approximately 25 diseases, and even the who says that its impact on world health is not fully assessed.heart attack and stroke uk studies show that smokers in their 30s and 40s are five times more likely to have a heart attack than non-smokers.if you smoke for a lifetime, there is a 50% chance that your eventual death will be smoking-relatedlong term survival rates are poor.smoking also increases the risk of oral, uterine, liver, kidney, bladder, stomach, and cervical cancers, and leukaemia.the lung damage which causes emphysema is irreversible, and makes it extremely difficult to breathe.harm to children smoking in pregnancy greatly increases the risk of miscarriage, is associated with lower birthweight babies, and inhibited child development.smoking by parents following the birth is linked to sudden infant death syndrome, or cot death, and higher rates of infant respiratory illness, such as bronchitis, colds, and pneumonia.nicotine, an ingredient of tobacco, is listed as an addictive substance by the us authorities.although the health risks of smoking are culmulative, giving up can yield health benefits regardless of the age of the patient, or the length of time they have been smoking.future impact by 2020, the who expects the worldwide death toll to reach 10 million, causing 17.7% of all deaths in developed countries.there are believed to be 1.1 billion smokers in the world, 800 million of them in developing countries.篇四：三分鐘英語勵志演講稿

三分鐘英語勵志演講稿

演講稿一：三分鐘英語勵志演講稿 good afternoon，ladies and gentlemen！im very honored to stand here and give you a short speech!to begin with ,i want to ask a question.does everybody dream a good dream last night? actually ,today i want to talk about dream with you.of course, what i want to talk is not a dream you have last night,but a dream—— about life.everyone has dreams about life, different dreams at different life stage,and we need dreams to support us.dreams are like the stars we never reach in the sky,but like most mariners（水手）,we can chart our course by them.with the dream,we have a direction,with a direction, we were no longer confused.with the dream, there is hope,with hope, we have the strength to fight.my breath swallows the sky and make the yellow river overflow, my sword is famous in kyushu and it can collapse the five sacred mountains.at some time in the past i also had am bitious words and i had some achievements.each achievement results from my hard work.i always believe that if you want to have more achievements than others, you must work harder.hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow.so my dear friends, think of your old and maybe dead dreams.whatever it is, pick it up and make it alive from today.lets---move----out!thank you for your listening!演講稿二：三分鐘英語勵志演講稿——catch the star catch the star that holds your destiny, the one that forever twinkles w ithin your heart.accept the fact that not ev eryone is going to approve of the choices youve made.have faith in your judgment.catch the star that twinkles in your heart and it will lead you t o your destinys path.value your capabilities and talents for they are what make you truly unique.the greatest gifts in life are not purchased, but acquired through hard work and determination.演講稿三：三分鐘英語勵志演講稿——we are the world ,we are the future someone said we are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book, whose pages are infinite.i dont know who wrote these words, but ive always liked them as a reminder that the future can be anything we want it to be.we are all in the position of the farmers.if we plant a good seed ,we reap a good harvest.if we plant nothing at all, we harvest nothing at all.we are young.how to spend the youth? it is a meaningful question.to answer it, first i have to ask what do you understand by the word youth? youth is not a time of life, its a state of mind.its not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips or supple knees.its the matter of the will.its the freshness of the deep spring of life.a poet said to see a world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour.several days ago, i had a chance to listen to a lecture.i learnt a lot there.id like to share it with all of you.lets show our right palms.we can see three lines that show how our love.career and life is.i have a short line of life.what about yours? i wondered whether we could see our future in this way.well, lets make a fist.where is our future? where is our love, career, and life? tell me.yeah, it is in our hands.it is held in ourselves.we all want the future to be better than the past.but the future can go better itself.dont cry because it is over, smile because it happened.from the past, weve learnt that the life is tough, but we are tougher.weve learnt that we cant choose how we feel, but we can choose what about it.failure doesnt mean you dont have it, it does mean you should do it in a different way.failure doesnt mean you should give up, it does mean you must try harder.as what i said at the beginning, we are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book, whose pages are infinite.the past has gone.nothing we do will change it.but the future is in front of us.believe that what we give to the world, the world will give to us.and from today on, lets be the owners of ourselves, and speak out we are the world, we are the future.篇五：英語演講稿 an ideal[a?di?l] friend help each other相互幫助；fight side [sa?d] by side并肩作戰；happiness and sorrow快樂與痛苦 friends can be classified[kl?s?fa?d] into two kinds, good friends and evil[ivl] friends.evil friends lead us astray[?stre] and may destroy[d?str??] our life, while good ones drive[dra?v] us towards[t?rdz] the right and make our life successful[s?ks?sfl].two of them exist[?ɡz?st] in our daily life.however, ideal friends exist in peoples mind.they should be diligent[d?l?d??nt], successful and loyal[l???l].when you need help, they will stand beside you and be delighted[d?la?t?d] to give you a hand.also you can share[?e?] your happiness[h?p?n?s] and sorrow[s?r??] together.理想的朋友 朋友可以分為兩種，益友和狐朋狗友。狐朋狗友會使我們誤入歧途，毀了我們的一生；而益友會使我們明辨是非，使我們成功。

日常生活中這兩種朋友都存在。然而，在人們心目中仍存在理想的朋友。這種朋友勤奮、成功并忠誠。當你需要幫助時，他們會與你并肩作戰，伸出援助之手。他們還可以與你分享快樂與痛苦。我認為朋友要分享一些東西但也要保留自己的秘密，所以我希望我的朋友不會過多地介入我的私事。從另一方面來說，我的朋友和我應有共同之處，同時又有各自的特點。這樣我們才可以互相吸引，互相學習。

第五篇：幽默英語演講稿)

篇一：幽默英語演講稿 幽默英語演講稿

love your mother 愛你的母親

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你為什么哭?一個小男孩問他的媽媽.because im a woman, she told him.因為我是女人,她告訴他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答

his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........媽媽擁抱了他說,你永遠也不會明白,但沒關系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后來小男孩問他的父親媽媽為什么似乎在無緣無故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都會常常沒有原因地哭泣,這是他的父親唯一可以解釋的...the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩長大,成了男人的時候, 他仍然奇怪媽媽為什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把這件事禱告給上帝,他問上帝,為什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special.i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 當我創造女人的時候, 我決定把她造的很特別, 我讓她的雙肩強壯的足以能夠承擔整個世界,但是, 卻讓她的雙臂溫柔的足夠去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection even from her own children.我給她內在的力量去忍受生產的劇痛, 也讓她有勇氣承受無數的傷害, 甚至這些傷害有時會來自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我給她頑強,讓她能夠不斷地前進, 并且照顧自己的家人和朋友, 甚至當每個人都放棄的時候, 她卻能夠堅強地在疾病和勞累之時毫無怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears....我給她內心的敏感,讓她在任何環境下都深愛著自己的孩子.甚至在他們深深傷 害她的時候．．．

她用那特別的力量，讓年幼孩子的在受傷的時候感到安慰，也能夠讓年輕的子女消除緊張與恐懼．．．

i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....我給她力量關心她的丈夫，盡管他會犯錯．我用男人的肋骨創造了女人，使女人可以保護男人的心臟．．．

i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我給她智慧，讓她知道一個好丈夫永遠不會傷害他的妻子，但有時候會試煉她堅定的永遠跟隨自己丈夫的能力與決心． for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness....when you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因為這些種種的困難，我也同樣賜她流下眼淚，這是當她在需要時可以使用的，這是她唯一的軟弱之處．．．

當你看到她哭泣的時候，告訴她你有多么地愛她，告訴她她為所有人所做的一切，即使這樣她可能還是會哭泣，但你會使她的心里得到安慰． she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.她是獨特的！

請把這個信息傳遞給你認識的女人，有母親，姐妹和特別的女性在他們生命里的人． but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.each day is a mountain that must be climbed;with courage each step gets easier.但是，也把這個信息傳遞給男人，因此他們會明白女人是多么奇妙的被造物． 每一天，生活中都會有必須爬的山，但是勇氣會使每一步都更輕松． love your mother always 永遠愛你的母親，and keep her smiling 并且使她微笑常在篇二：幽默英語演講稿 幽默英語演講稿

love your mother 愛你的母親

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你為什么哭?一個小男孩問他的媽媽.because im a woman, she told him.因為我是女人,她告訴他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答

his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........媽媽擁抱了他說,你永遠也不會明白,但沒關系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后來小男孩問他的父親媽媽為什么似乎在無緣無故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都會常常沒有原因地哭泣,這是他的父親唯一可以解釋的...the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩長大,成了男人的時候, 他仍然奇怪媽媽為什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把這件事禱告給上帝,他問上帝,為什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special.i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 當我創造女人的時候, 我決定把她造的很特別, 我讓她的雙肩強壯的足以能夠承擔整個世界,但是, 卻讓她的雙臂溫柔的足夠去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection even from her own children.我給她內在的力量去忍受生產的劇痛, 也讓她有勇氣承受無數的傷害, 甚至這些傷害有時會來自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我給她頑強,讓她能夠不斷地前進, 并且照顧自己的家人和朋友, 甚至當每個人都放棄的時候, 她卻能夠堅強地在疾病和勞累之時毫無怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears....我給她內心的敏感,讓她在任何環境下都深愛著自己的孩子.甚至在他們深深傷害她的時候．．．

她用那特別的力量，讓年幼孩子的在受傷的時候感到安慰，也能夠讓年輕的子女消除緊張與恐懼．．．

i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....我給她力量關心她的丈夫，盡管他會犯錯．我用男人的肋骨創造了女人，使女人可以保護男人的心臟．．．

i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我給她智慧，讓她知道一個好丈夫永遠不會傷害他的妻子，但有時候會試煉她堅定的永遠跟隨自己丈夫的能力與決心． for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness....when you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因為這些種種的困難，我也同樣賜她流下眼淚，這是當她在需要時可以使用的，這是她唯一的軟弱之處．．．

當你看到她哭泣的時候，告訴她你有多么地愛她，告訴她她為所有人所做的一切，即使這樣她可能還是會哭泣，但你會使她的心里得到安慰． she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.她是獨特的！

請把這個信息傳遞給你認識的女人，有母親，姐妹和特別的女性在他們生命里的人． but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.each day is a mountain that must be climbed;with courage each step gets easier.但是，也把這個信息傳遞給男人，因此他們會明白女人是多么奇妙的被造物．

每一天，生活中都會有必須爬的山，但是勇氣會使每一步都更輕松． love your mother always 永遠愛你的母親，and keep her smiling 并且使她微笑常在

篇三：新初中幽默英語演講稿 新初中幽默英語演講稿 love your mother 愛你的母親

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你為什么哭?一個小男孩問他的媽媽.because im a woman, she told him.因為我是女人,她告訴他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答

his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........媽媽擁抱了他說,你永遠也不會明白,但沒關系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后來小男孩問他的父親媽媽為什么似乎在無緣無故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都會常常沒有原因地哭泣,這是他的父親唯一可以解釋的...the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩長大,成了男人的時候, 他仍然奇怪媽媽為什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把這件事禱告給上帝,他問上帝,為什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special.i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 當我創造女人的時候, 我決定把她造的很特別, 篇四：英語演講幽默開場白 英語演講幽默開場白

作為一個演講者，我從觀眾那只得到過兩種抱怨：一種是我講話聲音太大了，他們無法入睡；第二種是我講得時間太長了，他們無法一直清醒。

作為一個講演者，他的演講總拿來和林肯的哥得堡演講[一個著名的演講]相比較。當他演講結束時，也有悲傷、眼淚和悲痛——特別是計劃委員會。

幽默注釋：演講者講得太糟糕了，組織者哭得很傷心。

演講結束時，宴會主人感謝你從繁忙的日程中抽出時間來——你泰然自若，優雅地點頭微笑著，心里非常清楚你日歷上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝點咖啡 poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program---and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注釋：一些老干部退休后沒什么事干，有人請他參加一些活動，他還假裝很忙，好象推開了很多事才趕去似的。

過去我演講時常常會比較緊張，但那時我看到一條信息說如果你想象所有的觀眾都是裸體會有所幫助。此時此刻，我站在這里想象著觀眾都是裸體，真的起作用，我不再緊張了，但眼睛有些疲勞。

i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked.and so, at this very moment, i’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked.and it really works.i no suffer from nervousness.eyestrain.yes 幽默注釋：把觀眾想象成裸體，意思是我不怕你們，就不緊張了。

創新句子：大部分人站在講臺上都會有點兒緊張，我屬于少部分人，我非常 緊張。

我本人不自負——我簡直不能告訴你們我是多么欽佩我這一點。personally, i have never been conceited---and i can’t tell you how much i admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因為自己不自負，所以變得非常驕傲。

創新句子：我一點兒都不自負，我希望別人也這么看我.我先用簡單明了的英語演講，以后我再翻譯給律師聽。

let me put this into plain english.i’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注釋：律師總喜歡用復雜的語言，簡單的話都聽不懂了。創新句子：我的講話有三個版本，小學生版本，中學生版本，大學生版本，你是聽小學一年紀版的，還是小學二年紀版的？

如果你聽過這個故事，請不要打斷我，我就知道這一個故事。if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one i know.幽默注釋：就是你知道兩個故事，講故事前也可以這么說。

創新句子：我講個笑話，如果你們聽過，也希望裝做沒聽過，我也這樣照顧你們。

演講就象給草坪澆水，如果有四分之一的水滲下去你就滿意了。

making a speech is like watering a lawn.you’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.幽默注釋：有人打呼嚕，有人說話，都是正常的，有四分之一觀眾聽就不錯了。

幽默句子：即興演講的開場白。

創新句子：我不知道你們會不會喜歡我的演講，我不知道我要講點兒什么 開始前我想告訴你們下面的演講已經編輯成了電視節目，我現在少講20分鐘，我們能夠及時趕回家看2臺的節目。

before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television.i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.幽默注釋：放著現場不看，偏要回家在電視上看。

可能你們有些人知道我今晚出現在這里有兩個原因：第一個原因是你們的計劃委員會一直在設法尋找一個聰明、有趣、老練的演講者，——他們找到了。第二個原因是那個人病了，所以就打電話把我找來了。

幽默注釋：一開始好象在說自己很牛，其實就是個臨時替場。

創新句子：我認為我演講很風趣，可為什么沒人笑呢？

篇五：我寫的搞笑的英文演講稿 我寫的搞笑的英文演講稿

once god came up two me & granted me a dream to be realize.i asked 4 world peace.that’s impossible, he said.有一次上帝來到我面前答應了實現我一個夢想。我說我要世界和平?！澳鞘遣豢赡艿摹彼f。

then i asked him to give you brains.he said, let me try world peace.然后我請讓你變聰明。他說：“你還是讓我試試讓世界和平吧?！?/p>

篇六：幽默式英語演講開場欣賞 幽默式英語演講開場欣賞 *in a humorous way #幽默式開場欣賞

judging the value and the authors achievements is up to the 敬愛的同志們，我覺得，提到高爾基的名字時，常常會加上一些度量的形容詞，如偉大的、高尚的、高大的等等。如果老是過分地強調和抬高一個人物，我們就會使別人的成就和重要性失去光彩，這一點，你們沒有想到吧？請相信我，我并不是故意講漂亮話，也不是裝模作樣。有許多重要的原因使我不能不說這些話。打個比方說，在這里，我們大家的年齡盡管相差很大，然而都是同一個很年輕的母親──全蘇聯文學的孩子。

衡量一個作家的成就，是讀者的事；說明一部文學作品的社會意義是批評家的事。