第一篇：奧巴馬2012白宮記者年會演講

奧巴馬2012白宮記者年會演講：精彩吐槽脫口秀

2012年05月03日 09:53 來源：滬江英語網

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大選年，奧巴馬為了贏得選舉自然不肯放過任何一個推銷自己的機會。在這次的白宮記者協會招待晚宴的演說中，奧巴馬犀利吐槽、大度自嘲，用幽默給自己加分不少。

Host：Could someone back there please turn off the President's mic? I think the President's mic is hot, please turn it off.Thank you.Thank you.后臺哪位幫忙把總統的麥克風關一下？我覺得總統的麥克風沒有關，請幫忙關一下，謝謝，謝謝。

（首爾核峰會上奧巴馬與梅德韋杰夫的私聊由于沒關麥克風被曝光，之前的G20戛納峰會中同樣因為沒關麥克風而曝光了他與薩科齊的私聊，兩次事件都在國內掀起軒然大波。）

Obama：Great.I gotta get warmed up.I...I'm so in love...God!I totally had that.Seriously guys, what am I doing here? 太棒了，我來個熱身。我??我太愛你??（一月份演講時他唱過Al Green這首歌）天哪！我真是擅長唱歌！說正經的各位，我來這是干什么的？

I'm the President of the United States, and I'm openning for Jimmy Kimmel? I have the nuclear codes, why am I telling “knock knock” jokes to Kim Kardashian? Why is she famous anyway? 我可是美國總統啊，我竟然為吉米·凱莫（ABC電視臺深夜脫口秀主持人）熱場？我是手握核武器的統領（美國總統有一只廣為流傳的“核按鈕手提箱”，里面存放著啟動美國核武器的密碼），干嘛要來這給卡戴珊講“敲門”笑話？她到底為啥出名呢？

（卡戴珊最著名的標簽是“帕麗斯·希爾頓的好友”，她是羅伯特·卡戴珊的女兒，奧多姆的大姨子。卡戴珊因性愛視頻而出名。）

That's it.Next year we send Biden.Now you're right.It's way too risky.我受夠了。明年讓拜登替我來好了。你說得對，這么干太危險。（拜登可是口誤帝）

Wow, look at my hair.It really went gray.Do you think anybody would notice if I just went a little darker? Right now like a five on the “Just For Men” scale.I think I would go to 6 and nobody would notice.哇，看我的頭發。一片灰白啊！你說我要是染黑一點會有人發現不？按照“Just For Men”（著名染發產品）的標準，我如今只剩5分黑了。我覺得我要是染成6分黑也應該不會有人注意吧。

Is the teleprompterworking? Are you kidding? What do you expect me to do out there? I literally have no idea what I'm saying tonight.提詞器準備好沒？（自嘲演講全靠提詞器）開什么玩笑？那我一會上場怎么說話啊？我根本不知道今晚要說點什么。

Man!I could really use a cigarette right now.唉，現在真想抽根煙！（自嘲以前是煙鬼）

Okay, okay, I'm going.God forbid we keep Chuck Todd and the cast of Glee waiting.好了好了，這就上場。誰敢讓查克·陶德（美國國家廣播公司政治中心主管）和Glee劇組久等啊！

Host：Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the President of the United States.女士們先生們，掌聲有請美國總統！

Obama：Thank you!Good evening everybody.Good evening!I could not be more thrilled to be here tonight at the White House Correspondents'Dinner.That is great crowd.They're already laughing.It's terrific.謝謝！晚上好各位，晚上好！今天我懷著無比激動的心情來出席白宮記者晚宴。這觀眾太好了，還沒開始就笑成這樣，太好了！

Chuck Todd--love you, brother.I’m delighted to see some of the cast members of Glee are here.And Jimmy Kimmel, it’s an honor, man.What’s so funny? 查克·陶德，哥們我愛你哦！我很高興見到Glee劇組也到場了。還有吉米·凱莫，真是榮幸啊!有啥好笑的？ My fellow Americans, we gather during a historic anniversary.Last year at this time--in fact, on this very weekend--we finally delivered justice to one of the world’s most notoriousindividuals.親愛的美國同胞們，我們歡聚在這具有歷史意義的周年紀念日。去年的這個時候，實際上正是在同一個周末，我們終于將世界上最臭名昭著的惡人正法。（“大惡人”Trump中槍，去年晚宴被猛烈吐槽）

Now, this year, we gather in the midst of a heated election season.And Axelrod tells me I should never miss a chance to re introduce myself to the American people.So tonight, this is how I’d like to begin: My name is Barack Obama.My mother was born in Kansas.My father was born in Kenya.And I was born, of course, in Hawaii.今年，在白熱化的大選季我們再次聚首，Axelrod（奧巴馬的顧問）說我不應該錯過任何重新向美國人民介紹自己的機會。所以今晚我打算就這樣開場：我名叫貝拉克·奧巴馬，我母親出生在堪薩斯，我父親出生在肯尼亞，而我出生在：當然是夏威夷。（自嘲出生證明事件）

In 2009, I took office in the face of some enormouschallenges.Now, some have said I blame too many problems on my predecessor, but let’s not forget that’s a practice that was initiated by George W.Bush.Since then, Congress and I have certainly had our differences;yet, I’ve tried to be civil, to not take any cheap shots.And that’s why I want to especially thank all the members who took a break from their exhausting schedule of not passing any laws to be here tonight.Let’s give them a big round of applause.2009年我就任總統時面臨眾多艱巨挑戰。現在許多人說我把太多問題歸咎于前任身上，但大家別忘了，這樣的做法是小布什首創的。（這句本身就是推給 前任）從那時起，國會跟我就矛盾不斷，但我盡量保持風度，從不陰損吐槽。所以我今天要特別感謝那些從無所事事的百忙之中抽空到場的國會議員。（這就是 cheap shot陰損吐槽啊）大家把熱烈的掌聲獻給他們吧。

Despite many obstacles, much has changed during my time in office.Four years ago, I was locked in a brutal primary battle with Hillary Clinton.Four years later, she won’t stop drunk-texting me from Cartagena.盡管險阻重重，但自我上任以來，許多事都有所改變，四年前，我跟希拉里在初選中斗得你死我活；四年后，她一喝多就從Cartagena給我發短信（希拉里最近走紅的短信照和喝酒照，Cartagena也是特工嫖妓門的發生地）。

Four years ago, I was a Washington outsider.Four years later, I’m at this dinner.Four years ago, I looked like this.Today, I look like this.And four years from now, I will look like this.That’s not even funny.四年前，我是首都政界圈外人；四年后，我出現在白宮晚宴上。四年前，我長這樣；四年后，我長這樣；再過四年，我就會長成這樣了（摩根·弗里曼）。一點也不好笑。

Anyway, it’s great to be here this evening in the vast, magnificent Hilton ballroom--or what Mitt Romney would call a little fixer-upper.I mean, look at this party.We’ve got men in tuxes, women in gowns, fine wine, first-class entertainment.I was just relieved to learn this was not a GSA conference.Unbelievable.Not even the mind reader knew what they were thinking.總之，我很高興今晚來到這宏偉輝煌的希爾頓舞廳，或者用羅姆尼的話來說叫“日久失修的小破屋”（暗指羅姆尼是富二代）。我想說，瞧這派對，有穿著燕 尾服的紳士，穿晚禮服的淑女，醉人美酒和一流演出——聽說這不是GSA大會我才放心（聯邦政府總務署公款吃喝事件）。難以置信啊！連讀心術都看不到他們腦 子里的想法（指腦袋空空）。

Of course, the White House Correspondents’ Dinner is known as the promof Washington D.C.--a term coined by political reporters who clearly never had the chance to go to an actual prom.當然了，白宮記者晚宴又被成為“首都畢業舞會”。發明這個詞的記者顯然從沒真正參加過真正的畢業舞會。

Our chaperone for the evening is Jimmy Kimmel--who is perfect for the job since most of tonight’s audience is in his key demographic--people who fall asleep during Nightline.Jimmy got his start years ago on The Man Show.In Washington, that’s what we call a congressional hearing on contraception.我們今晚的“監護人”是吉米·凱莫（指畢業舞會的成年監護人），他是這個職位的不二人選，因為今晚觀眾都是他的目標人群:那些看 Nightline（凱莫節目之前播出的晚新聞）睡著沒關電視的人。吉米多年前在“男人秀”出道。在華盛頓，“男人秀”是關于女性避孕藥品的國會聽證（聽 證會全是男人出席）。And plenty of journalists are here tonight.I'd be remiss if I didn’t congratulate the Huffington Post on their Pulitzer Prize.You deserve it, Arianna.There's no one else out there linking to the kinds of hard-hitting journalism that HuffPo is linking to every single day.Give them a round of applause.And you don’t pay them--it's a great business model.今晚眾多媒體人到場，我必須要恭喜“赫芬頓郵報”獲得普利策獎。Arianna（該報女掌門），你們當之無愧！沒人能像你們一樣每天“鏈接”到這么多的犀利新聞（指赫芬頓郵報的新聞都是盜用別家鏈接）。請把掌聲獻給他們。你們還不付原作者錢，這是偉大的經營模式啊！

Even Sarah Palin is getting back into the game, guest hosting on The Today Show--which reminds me of an old saying: What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? A pit bull is delicious.A little soy sauce.連佩林都重返舞臺了，在“今日秀”做嘉賓主持。這使我想起一句老話：“冰球老媽和牛頭犬有什么不同”（這句的內涵是說二者一樣）。牛頭犬的味道好極了。（自嘲6歲吃狗肉事件）再加點醬油。Now, I know at this point many of you are expecting me to go after my likely opponent, Newt Gingrich.Newt, there's still time, man.But I'm not going to do that--I'm not going to attack any of the Republican candidates.Take Mitt Romney--he and I actually have a lot in common.We both think of our wives as our better halves, and polls show, to a alarmingly insulting extent, the American people agree.We also both have degrees from Harvard;I have one, he has two.What a snob.現在，說道這里我知道很多人都在期待我出言攻擊未來的對手，金里奇。紐特你還來得及啊！但我不會那么做。我不會攻擊任何共和黨候選人。比如魯姆你，我們兩個其實有很多共同點，我們都認為自己的老婆比自己更優秀。而且民意調查顯示，令人震驚而難堪的是，很大一部分美國人也這樣認為（他倆都沒老婆受歡 迎）。我們都有哈佛的學位，我有一個，他有兩個。真是勢利小人。

Of course, we've also had our differences.Recently, his campaign criticized me for slow jamming the news with Jimmy Fallon.In fact, I understand Governor Romney was so incensed he asked his staff if he could get some equal time on The Merv Griffin Show.Still, I guess Governor Romney is feeling pretty good about things because he took a few hours off the other day to see The Hunger Games--some of you have seen it.It's a movie about people who court wealthy sponsors and then brutally savage each other until only one contestant is left standing.I'm sure this was a really good change of pace for him.I have not seen The Hunger Games;not enough class warfare for me.當然我倆也有不同之處，近年來他的競選團隊批評我和吉米·法倫表演的“最慢新聞風”。實際上，我知道羅姆尼州長氣瘋了，一直問手下能否上“Merv Griffin秀”（1986年就停播的電視節目）也來這么一長段。而且我舉得羅姆尼最近的心情還是不錯的，因為前幾天他抽時間去看了“饑餓游戲”，有些 人看過了，電影講述的是一群人圍了取悅贊助人殘忍搏殺，直到剩下最后一位幸存者的故事。他看了這片子絕對可以轉換心情啊。我還沒看過“饑餓游戲”，對我來 說片中的“階級斗爭”還不夠（共和黨將稅務問題稱為“階級斗爭”）。Of course, I know everybody is predicting a nastyelection, and thankfully, we've all agreed that families are off limits.Dogs, however, are apparently fair game.And while both campaigns have had some fun with this, the other day I saw a new ad from one of these outside groups that, frankly,I think crossed the line.I know Governor Romney says he has no control over what his super PACs do, but can we show the ad real quick?(Video is played.)當然我知道大家都認為本屆選戰將會不擇手段，幸好，我們都同意不可殃及家人。但是對于狗，顯然就是公平競爭了。雙方陣營都拿這事玩得很開心。某天我 看到這段外圍組織制作的視頻，說實話，我覺得過分了。我知道羅姆尼自稱跟他的“超級PAC”絕無串通，我們來看一下這段宣傳廣告吧。（播放視頻）That’s pretty rough，but I can take it,because my stepfather always told me, it's a boy-eat-dog world out there.這一段太兇殘了，但我還能忍受得住。因為我的繼父經常教導我，這是個“童咬狗”的世界（被羅姆尼陣營曝光的6歲吃狗肉事件）。

Now, if I do win a second term as President, let me just say something to all the--let me just say something to all my conspiracy-oriented friends on the right who think I'm planning to unleash some secret agenda: You're absolutely right.So allow me to close with a quick preview of the secret agenda you can expect in a second Obama administration.現在，如果我真的贏得連任，我想告訴所有熱愛陰謀論的右派朋友，你們認為我企圖進行某些秘密計劃，你們說得一點沒錯。所以結尾部分我要預告一下在我的第二任期內將出現的秘密計劃。

In my first term, I sang Al Green;in my second term, I'm going with Young Jeezy.Michelle said, yeah.I sing that to her sometimes.In my first term, we ended the war in Iraq;in my second term, I will win the war on Christmas.In my first term, we repealed the policy known as “don't ask, don't tell”--wait, though;in my second term, we will replace it with a policy known as, it's raining men.In my first term, we passed health care reform;in my second term, I guess I'll pass it again.在我的第一任期我唱了Al Green的歌，在我的第二任期，我要唱Young Jeezy。米歇爾說：“好啊。”我有時候會給她唱。在我的第一任期我們結束了伊拉克戰爭，在第二任期，我們會打贏“圣誕之戰”（共和黨上綱上線捏造的戰 爭）。在我的第一任期，我們推翻了“不問不說”政策（軍隊的歧視同性戀政策），先別急，在我的第二任期，我們會將此政策替換成“漫天男人”（經典的同性戀 歌曲）。在我第一任期，我們通過了醫保改革；在我的第二任期，我想我得再通過一次（共和黨企圖推翻醫保改革）。

I do want to end tonight on a slightly more serious note--whoever takes the oath of office next January will face some great challenges, but he will also inherit traditions that make us greater than the challenges we face.And one of those traditions is represented here tonight: a free press that isn't afraid to ask questions, to examine and to criticize.And in service of that mission, all of you make sacrifices.其實我想用正經點的內容做今晚的結語，無論明年一月誰宣誓就職都會面臨嚴峻的考驗，但他也會繼承使我們能戰勝考驗的傳統精神。今晚各位所代表的就是這樣的傳統精神。媒體自由讓我們不怕質疑，敢于調查，直言批判。而為了這樣的目標，你們所有人都做出了犧牲。Tonight, we remember journalists such as Anthony Shadid and Marie Colvin--who made the ultimatesacrifice as they sought to shine a light on some of the most important stories of our time.So whether you are a blogger or a broadcaster, whether you take on powerful interests here at home or put yourself in harm's way overseas, I have the greatest respect and admiration for what you do.I know sometimes you like to give me a hard time--and I certainly like to return the favor--but I never forget that our country depends on you.You help protect our freedom, our democracy, and our way of life.今晚，讓我們來紀念像Anthony Shadid和Marie Colvin這樣的勇敢記者（都是在國外報道時去世），他們為了將當代最重大的新聞公諸于世做出了崇高的犧牲。所以無論你是博客作者還是廣播主持，無論你 是在國內盡力報道還是在海外身處險境，我都對你們的事業表示最高的尊敬和贊賞。我知道有時候你們讓我不好過，我也非常想讓你們不好過。但我從未忘記我們的 國家要仰仗你們。你幫助捍衛我們的自由、我們的民主和我們的生活方式。

And just to set the record straight, I really do enjoy attending these dinners.In fact, I had a lot more material prepared, but I have to get the Secret Service home in time for their new curfew.最后說正經的，我確實喜歡參加這樣的晚宴。事實上我還準備了很多段子，但我得讓特勤工們早點回家跟妻子報到。

Thank you very much, everybody.Thank you.非常感謝各位，謝謝！

第二篇：2015白宮記者協會晚宴奧巴馬演講全文

任期將盡的奧巴馬在今年White House Correspondents Dinner(白宮記者協會晚宴)上火力全開，不僅吐槽了老冤家共和黨各路人馬，連民主黨的希拉里和O’Malley等戰友他也沒放過。CNN, Fox News和MSNBC更是被黑的體無完膚。

Good evening everybody.Welcome to the white house correspondents' dinner.The night when Washington.Celebrates itself.Somebody's got to doit.And welcome to the fourth quarter of my presidency.It's true iron.Those were sheltering.Factors that film moreloose and relaxed whenever.Those.Joseph Biden shoulder massages theirlike magic.Well you have.I am determined to makethe most.Every moment.Have left.After the midterm electionsmy advisor let me Mr.President you have a bucketlist.And I served well.Something the lions would bucketlist.Take executive action on immigration.Bucket.This woman look.My new.But in my Cuba policy.The Castro Brothersare here tonight.The fulfill.What.If for capsules fromTexas.All.Iowa scream.Hi Leon.Anyway.Big Brother isnever easy and I still have to fix a brokenimmigration system.Issue veto threats to negotiate with the Ron.All while finding time to pray five times a day.Wonder that people keep pointing out how the president CNamazement.Alex old John Maynard Carter invited Netanyahu speaking myfuneral.Meanwhile Michelle has amazed today.Have to order figuredshe just says.Fresh fruits and vegetables.It's aggravated.Factis though at this point my legacy is finally beginningdetection.Their economy is getting better.Mind that in tenAmericans now have health coverage.It's.Good.No longer haveto worry about losing your insurance if you lose yourjob.You're welcome senate Democrats.Not look it is trueI have not managed to make everybody happy.Six yearsand in my presidency some people still say I'm arrogant.And aloof.Condescending.Some people are so don't.They wouldn't.And that's not all people say about.A few weeksago Dick Cheney says he thinks I'm the worst presidentof his lifetime.What is interesting because I think DickCheney is the worst president in my lifetime.What appointments.America got some of them say these days.Mike Huckabeerecently said people should enjoy our military until a trueconservative is elected president.Think about that.It was sooutrageous 47 Ayatollah wrote us a letter.Trying to explainto Huckabee how our system works.They get worse.Doesthis week Michelle Bachmann.Ash.Actually predicted.That I wouldbring about the biblical and debates.How about the legacy.I'm in Lincoln Washington and let them do that.Okay.But you know I just have to put this stuffoutside I'm gonna stay focused on my job.Because formany Americans this is still time of deep uncertainty.Forexample I have I have one friend just a fewweeks ago.She was making millions of dollars a yearand she's now living out of abandoned Iowa.Meanwhile.Backhere our nation's capital we're always dealing with a newchallenge us and I'm happy to report that.The SecretService thanks to some excellent reporting by a White Housecorrespondents.They're relieved.Focusing on.Some of the issues thatcome up and they finally figured out a full proofway to keep people off my lawn.That works.Asnot just fence jumpers.Some you know a few monthsago drone crash landed.Back that was pretty serious butdon't worry.We've installed a new state of the artsecurity system.You know what.Let me set the recordstraight if I tease Joseph sometimes but he has beenat my side.For seven years I loved that man.Not good to great vice president he has a greatfriend.We got so close in some places and Indianathey want service pizza anymore.I want to thank ourhosts for the men Chicago girl an incredibly talented it.Syphilis around.Bond the Saturday Night Live Sicily impersonate CNN64.anchor Brooke Baldwin.Which is surprising because usually the onlypeople impersonate journalists on CNN.Are journalists on CNN.ABCis there was some of the stars from their bignew comedy black fish.I.As a great show whetherto give ABC fair warning.Being black issue only makesyou popular for so long trust.There's a shelf lifecommitment.As all us.The reporters here have a lotto cover over the last year here on the EastCoast.One big story with the brutal winner.The polarvortex because so many record lows they renamed it.MSNBC.But of course.Let's face it there is one issueon every reporters' minds matters points sixteen.Already we've seensome missteps.Turns out Jeb Bush identified himself as Hispanicback in 2009.Which annoyed look I understand there's anit was a mistake.Reminds me of when I identifiedmyself as American Bakken.1961.Ted Cruz says they're denyingthe existence of climate change.Maybe there.Mayhem like Galileo.That's not really an apt.Compare us.Galileo believed theearth revolves around the sun.Ted Cruz believes the earthrevolves around Ted Cruz.I and handel's messiah don't wantone out when a guy.Who have this based ona hope poster called you self centered.You know you'vegot a problem.Most of the men veterans.Creeping upall through high.Meanwhile Rick Santorum announced that he wouldnot attend the same sex wedding of a friendor a loved one.Towards gays and lesbians across thecountry responded that's not going to be a problem.Don'tlet them.And Donald Trump is it.Still.Anyway.It'samazing how time flies.Soon the first presidential contest willtake place.And I for one cannot wait to seewhom the Coen Brothers crack.But the plan.Marco Rubioand Rand Paul that crews Jeb Bush Scott Walker.Whowill finally get that red ropes.The winner gets abillion dollar war chest.Runner up gets to be.Thebachelor on the next season of the bachelor.Mention thislike a billion dollars.From death to guy.It's justme or does that feel a little excessive.Ms.Almostinsulting to the candidates.Both that could cope Brothers think they need to spend a billion dollars to get folksto like one of these people.Gotta hurt their feelingswell it.And look I'm drivers lot of money tobut.The offense my middle name is Hussein.The trailhasn't been easy for my fellow Democrats either.As weall know Hillary's brother emails that are in trouble.Franklinup I was going to be your private instead Grahamaccount that was gonna cause a bigger problems.Hillary thingsoff by going completely unrecognized.And it's a poll what.Not to be outdone.Martin O'Malley kicked things off bygoing completely unrecognized that it Martin O'Malley campaign.And BernieSanders might run.I'm Mike Vernon birds bears and apparentlysome folks really wanna see a pot smoking socialist inthe White House.We could get a third Obama terminalpro.And where is always on a close up moreserious note.I often joke about tensions between me inthe press but.Honestly what they say doesn't bother meI understand we've gotten adversarial system.I'm mellow sort ofgod.And that's why I invited.Looper my anger translator.The American.Paul dollar to yen nearly Y book.Inour fast changing world traditions like the white house correspondents'dinner are important.Us.Because despite our differences we counton the press to shed light on the most importantissues of the day.They're not on behalf all whileHaiti with.I.We want only.There is much littleball while he bona but the whole way we don'tstep.Yeah.Probably what did you notice.And now.ButI felt physically.Appreciate the work that you do.All in the bottom of Mexico.It's strictly know whenthat woman.That night being.While what was it whatit looked at all to them.Protecting our democracy.Ismore important than ever.For example Supreme Court ruled thatthe donor who gave Ted Cruz six million dollars wasjust exercising free speech yet.That's the kind of speechlike this I just waste is six million dollars.TheRepublicans.Hillary will have to raise huge sums of moneyto Lowell he.So don't get that money.Sealed andArnold about it.Tell me it's tough and so wasmorale.And nonstop focus on billionaire donors creates real problemsfor our democracy and.Yeah.Whitman.We do need tostay focused on the big challenges like climate thing.I'vegot opponents.Did and Iraq.Yeah that's what happened thatwill be up and Ned.Bradley Cooper.It does hewants the appointment but not.The player nine.Out ofthe ten hottest years ever came in last Beckett.Doesand an audit candidate.Rising seas.More violent storms gottenus.Don't sweat it people on the trains bank inand out.Business is now that's it.I meant whatlittle what.Look at what's happening right now.Every seriousscientist says we need.The Pentagon says it's the nationalsecurity risk.Miami was gonna funny event.Instead doing everythingabout it we got elected official points not club inthe sun it's.Got a bright and has quietly.Whatabout our kids what kind of stupid short sighted airliftbond above all.I.Good.Out all the respect her.You'll need an Internet that.Unit got us.I'm alot of him.Trying to get an audit.I havefriends whether.Now that I got that off my chest.You know investigative journalism.Explanatory.Journalism.Journalism that exposed corruption.And injustice.And gives voice to the different and themarginalized.The voiceless.That's power.It's a privilege.It's asimportant to America's trajectory.To our values or ideals thananything we could do in elected office.We remember journalistwe lost over the past year.Journalists like Steve and166.saw Lofton James Foley.Murder for nothing more than trying167.to shine light into some of the world's darkest corners.The journalists unjustly imprisoned around the world including.Our ownJason.Raising.Jason has been imprisoned and Tehran heard nothingmore than write about the hopes and fears of Iranand people.During their stories to the readers of theWashington Post in an effort to bridge our common humanity.As was already mentioned Jason's brother Ali is here tonightand I have told him personally we will not restuntil we bring him home.Whose family sick so.He'sjournalists and so many others do their work is morethan just profession.But as a public good.An indispensablepillar of our society.Are giving the toast of raiseyour glass to them and all of you.The wordsof the American foreign correspondent north of Toms.It isnow the fact of liberty.But the way in whichliberty is exercise that ultimately determines.Whether liberty itself survives.Thank you through devotion exercising our liberty and the tellingour American story god bless you.God bless the UnitedStates of America.

第三篇：奧巴馬白宮演講 2

Take executive action on immigration.在移民問題上采取執行行動。

Bucket.去他的。

New climate regulations.新氣候規定。

Bucket.去他的。

It's the right thing to do.這么做才對。

My new attitude is paying off.我的新態度是回報。

Look at my Cuba policy.看看我的古巴政策。

The Castro brothers are here tonight.卡斯特羅兄弟今晚在這里。

Welcome to America, amigos.歡迎來到美國，朋友。

Que pasa? 怎麼了？

What? 什么？

It's the Castros from Texas.他們是來自德克薩斯州的卡斯特羅兄弟。

Oh.Hi, Joaquin.哦。嗨，杰奎因。

Hi, Julian.嗨，朱利安。

Anyway, being president is never easy.無論如何，當總統都不是件容易的事。

I still have to fix a broken immigration system, issue veto threats, negotiate with Iran.我仍然需要修復一個破碎的移民制度，發布否決威脅，與伊朗談判。

All while finding time to pray five times a day.同時還要每天騰出時間來祈禱五次。

Which is strenuous.頻繁了。

And it is no wonder that people keep pointing out how the presidency has aged me.難怪人們一直說擔任總統讓我變老了。

I look so old, John Boehner's already invited Benjamin Netanyahu to speak at my funeral.我看起來如此之老，以至于約翰·博納已經邀請了本雅明·內塔尼亞胡在我的葬禮上致辭。

Meanwhile, Michelle hasn't aged a day.然而，米歇爾卻一點兒都沒有老。

I ask her what her secret is and she just says “fresh fruits and vegetables.” 我問她秘訣所在，她說“新鮮水果和蔬菜。”

It's aggravating.真是太可恨了。

Fact is though, at this point my legacy is finally beginning to take shape.事實就是，我的遺產漸漸顯出雛形了。

The economy is getting better.經濟正在好轉。

Nine in ten Americans now have health coverage.如今百分之九十的美國人有了醫保。

Today thanks to Obamacare you no longer have to worry about losing your insurance if you lose your job.今天，正因為奧巴馬醫改，你們才不用擔心失業后沒有保險。

You're welcome, Senate democrats.不用謝，民主黨議員們。

第四篇：白宮記者年會 奧巴馬上演精彩喜劇脫口秀（精選）

白宮記者年會 奧巴馬上演精彩喜劇脫口秀

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you.Good evening, everybody.Good evening.I could not be more thrilled to be here tonight--at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.This is great crowd.They’re already laughing.It’s terrific.Chuck Todd--love you, brother.I’m delighted to see some of the cast members of Glee are here.And Jimmy Kimmel, it’s an honor, man.What’s so funny?

My fellow Americans, we gather during a historic anniversary.Last year at this time--in fact, on this very weekend--we finally delivered justice to one of the world’s most notorious individuals.Now, this year, we gather in the midst of a heated election season.And Axelrod tells me I should never miss a chance to reintroduce myself to the American people.So tonight, this is how I’d like to begin: My name is Barack Obama.My mother was born in Kansas.My father was born in Kenya.And I was born, of course, in Hawaii.In 2009, I took office in the face of some enormous challenges.Now, some have said I blame too many problems on my predecessor, but let’s not forget that’s a practice that was initiated by George W.Bush.Since then, Congress and I have certainly had our differences;yet, I’ve tried to be civil, to not take any cheap shots.And that’s why I want to especially thank all the members who took a break from their exhausting schedule of not passing any laws to be here tonight.Let’s give them a big round of applause.Despite many obstacles, much has changed during my time in office.Four years ago, I was locked in a brutal primary battle with Hillary Clinton.Four years later, she won’t stop drunk-texting me from Cartagena.Four years ago, I was a Washington outsider.Four years later, I’m at this dinner.Four years ago, I looked like this.Today, I look like this.And four years from now, I will look like this.That’s not even funny.Anyway, it’s great to be here this evening in the vast, magnificent Hilton ballroom--or what Mitt Romney would call a little fixer-upper.I mean, look at this party.We’ve got men in tuxes, women in gowns, fine wine, first-class entertainment.I was just relieved to learn this was not a GSA conference.Unbelievable.Not even the mind reader knew what they were thinking.Of course, the White House Correspondents’ Dinner is known as the prom of Washington D.C.--a term coined by political reporters who clearly never had the chance to go to an actual prom.Our chaperone for the evening is Jimmy Kimmel----who is perfect for the job since most of tonight’s audience is in his key demographic--people who fall asleep during Nightline.Jimmy got his start years ago on The Man Show.In Washington, that’s what we call a congressional hearing on contraception.And plenty of journalists are here tonight.I'd be remiss if I didn’t congratulate the Huffington Post on their Pulitzer Prize.You deserve it, Arianna.There's no one else out there linking to the kinds of hard-hitting journalism that HuffPo is linking to every single day.Give them a round of applause.And you don’t pay them--it's a great business model.Even Sarah Palin is getting back into the game, guest hosting on The Today Show--which reminds me of an old saying: What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? A pit bull is delicious.A little soy sauce.Now, I know at this point many of you are expecting me to go after my likely opponent, Newt Gingrich.Newt, there's still time, man.But I'm not going to do that--I'm not going to attack any of the Republican candidates.Take Mitt Romney--he and I actually have a lot in common.We both think of our wives as our better halves, and polls show, to a alarmingly insulting extent, the American people agree.We also both have degrees from Harvard;I have one, he has two.What a snob.Of course, we've also had our differences.Recently, his campaign criticized me for slow jamming the news with Jimmy Fallon.In fact, I understand Governor Romney was so incensed he asked his staff if he could get some equal time on The Merv Griffin Show.Still, I guess Governor Romney is feeling pretty good about things because he took a few hours off the other day to see The Hunger Games--some of you have seen it.It's a movie about people who court wealthy sponsors and then brutally savage each other until only one contestant is left standing.I'm sure this was a really good change of pace for him.I have not seen The Hunger Games;not enough class warfare for me.Of course, I know everybody is predicting a nasty election, and thankfully, we've all agreed that families are off limits.Dogs, however, are apparently fair game.And while both campaigns have had some fun with this, the other day I saw a new ad from one of these outside groups that, frankly, I think crossed the line.I know Governor Romney says he has no control over what his super PACs do, but can we show the ad real quick?

That’s pretty rough--but I can take it, because my stepfather always told me, it's a boy-eat-dog world out there.Now, if I do win a second term as President, let me just say something to all the----let me just say something to all my conspiracy-oriented friends on the right who think I'm planning to unleash some secret agenda: You're absolutely right.So allow me to close with a quick preview of the secret agenda you can expect in a second Obama administration.In my first term, I sang Al Green;in my second term, I'm going with Young Jeezy.MRS.OBAMA: Yeah.THE PRESIDENT: Michelle said, yeah.I sing that to her sometimes.In my first term, we ended the war in Iraq;in my second term, I will win the war on Christmas.In my first term, we repealed the policy known as “don't ask, don't tell”----wait, though;in my second term, we will replace it with a policy known as, it's raining men.In my first term, we passed health care reform;in my second term, I guess I'll pass it again.I do want to end tonight on a slightly more serious note--whoever takes the oath of office next January will face some great challenges, but he will also inherit traditions that make us greater than the challenges we face.And one of those traditions is represented here tonight: a free press that isn't afraid to ask questions, to examine and to criticize.And in service of that mission, all of you make sacrifices.Tonight, we remember journalists such as Anthony Shadid and Marie Colvin----who made the ultimate sacrifice as they sought to shine a light on some of the most important stories of our time.So whether you are a blogger or a broadcaster, whether you take on powerful interests here at home or put yourself in harm's way overseas, I have the greatest respect and admiration for what you do.I know sometimes you like to give me a hard time--and I certainly like to return the favor--but I never forget that our country depends on you.You help protect our freedom, our democracy, and our way of life.And just to set the record straight, I really do enjoy attending these dinners.In fact, I had a lot more material prepared, but I have to get the Secret Service home in time for their new curfew.Thank you very much, everybody.Thank you.

第五篇：奧巴馬在2012年白宮記者協會晚宴的演講

奧巴馬在2012年白宮記者協會晚宴的演講

Remarks by the President at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner

Washington Hilton Hotel

April 29, 2012 Thank you.(Applause.)Good evening, everybody.Good evening.I could not be more thrilled to be here tonight--(laughter)--at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.This is great crowd.They’re already laughing.It’s terrific.Chuck Todd--love you, brother.(Laughter.)I’m delighted to see some of the cast members of Glee are here.(Laughter.)And Jimmy Kimmel, it’s an honor, man.(Laughter.)What’s so funny? My fellow Americans, we gather during a historic anniversary.Last year at this time--in fact, on this very weekend--we finally delivered justice to one of the world’s most notorious individuals.(Applause.)Now, this year, we gather in the midst of a heated election season.And Axelrod tells me I should never miss a chance to reintroduce myself to the American people.So tonight, this is how I’d like to begin: My name is Barack Obama.My mother was born in Kansas.My father was born in Kenya.And I was born, of course, in Hawaii.(Laughter and applause.)In 2009, I took office in the face of some enormous challenges.Now, some have said I blame too many problems on my predecessor, but let’s not forget that’s a practice that was initiated by George W.Bush.(Laughter.)Since then, Congress and I have certainly had our differences;yet, I’ve tried to be civil, to not take any cheap shots.And that’s why I want to especially thank all the members who took a break from their exhausting schedule of not passing any laws to be here tonight.(Laughter.)Let’s give them a big round of applause.(Applause.)Despite many obstacles, much has changed during my time in office.Four years ago, I was locked in a brutal primary battle with Hillary Clinton.Four years later, she won’t stop drunk-texting me from Cartagena.(Laughter.)

Four years ago, I was a Washington outsider.Four years later, I’m at this dinner.Four years ago, I looked like this.Today, I look like this.(Laughter.)And four years from now, I will look like this.(Laughter and applause.)That’s not even funny.(Laughter.)Anyway, it’s great to be here this evening in the vast, magnificent Hilton ballroom--or what Mitt Romney would call a little fixer-upper.(Laughter and applause.)I mean, look at this party.We’ve got men in tuxes, women in gowns, fine wine, first-class entertainment.I was just relieved to learn this was not a GSA conference.(Laughter.)Unbelievable.Not even the mind reader knew what they were thinking.(Laughter.)Of course, the White House Correspondents’ Dinner is known as the prom of Washington D.C.--a term coined by political reporters who clearly never had the chance to go to an actual prom.(Laughter.)Our chaperone for the evening is Jimmy Kimmel--(applause)--who is perfect for the job since most of tonight’s audience is in his key demographic--people who fall asleep during Nightline.(Laughter.)Jimmy got his start years ago on The Man Show.In Washington, that’s what we call a congressional hearing on contraception.(Laughter and applause.)

And plenty of journalists are here tonight.I'd be remiss if I didn’t congratulate the Huffington Post on their Pulitzer Prize.(Applause.)You deserve it, Arianna.There's no one else out there linking to the kinds of hard-hitting journalism that HuffPo is linking to every single day.(Laughter and applause.)Give them a round of applause.And you don’t pay them--it's a great business model.(Laughter.)

Even Sarah Palin is getting back into the game, guest hosting on The Today Show--which reminds me of an old saying: What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? A pit bull is delicious.(Laughter and applause.)A little soy sauce.(Laughter.)Now, I know at this point many of you are expecting me to go after my likely opponent, Newt Gingrich.(Laughter.)Newt, there's still time, man.(Laughter.)But I'm not going to do that--I'm not going to attack any of the Republican candidates.Take Mitt Romney--he and I actually have a lot in common.We both think of our wives as our better halves, and polls show, to a alarmingly insulting extent, the American people agree.(Laughter.)We also both have degrees from Harvard;I have one, he has two.What a snob.(Laughter and applause.)

Of course, we've also had our differences.Recently, his campaign criticized me for slow jamming the news with Jimmy Fallon.In fact, I understand Governor Romney was so incensed he asked his staff if he could get some equal time on The Merv Griffin Show.(Laughter.)Still, I guess Governor Romney is feeling pretty good about things because he took a few hours off the other day to see The Hunger Games--some of you have seen it.It's a movie about people who court wealthy sponsors and then brutally savage each other until only one contestant is left standing.I'm sure this was a really good change of pace for him.(Laughter.)I have not seen The Hunger Games;not enough class warfare for me.(Laughter.)

Of course, I know everybody is predicting a nasty election, and thankfully, we've all agreed that families are off limits.Dogs, however, are apparently fair game.(Laughter.)And while both campaigns have had some fun with this, the other day I saw a new ad from one of these outside groups that, frankly, I think crossed the line.I know Governor Romney says he has no control over what his super PACs do, but can we show the ad real quick?(Video is played.)(Applause.)That’s pretty rough--(laughter)--but I can take it, because my stepfather always told me, it's a boy-eat-dog world out there.(Laughter.)

Now, if I do win a second term as President, let me just say something to all the--(applause)--let me just say something to all my conspiracy-oriented friends on the right who think I'm planning to unleash some secret agenda: You're absolutely right.(Laughter.)So allow me to close with a quick preview of the secret agenda you can expect in a second Obama administration.In my first term, I sang Al Green;in my second term, I'm going with Young Jeezy.(Laughter.)Michelle said, yeah.(Laughter.)I sing that to her sometimes.(Laughter.)In my first term, we ended the war in Iraq;in my second term, I will win the war on Christmas.(Laughter.)In my first term, we repealed the policy known as “don't ask, don't tell”--(applause)--wait, though;in my second term, we will replace it with a policy known as, it's raining men.(Laughter.)In my first term, we passed health care reform;in my second term, I guess I'll pass it again.(Applause.)

I do want to end tonight on a slightly more serious note--whoever takes the oath of office next January will face some great challenges, but he will also inherit traditions that make us greater than the challenges we face.And one of those traditions is represented here tonight: a free press that isn't afraid to ask questions, to examine and to criticize.And in service of that mission, all of you make sacrifices.Tonight, we remember journalists such as Anthony Shadid and Marie Colvin--(applause)--who made the ultimate sacrifice as they sought to shine a light on some of the most important stories of our time.So whether you are a blogger or a broadcaster, whether you take on powerful interests here at home or put yourself in harm's way overseas, I have the greatest respect and admiration for what you do.I know sometimes you like to give me a hard time--and I certainly like to return the favor--(laughter)--but I never forget that our country depends on you.You help protect our freedom, our democracy, and our way of life.And just to set the record straight, I really do enjoy attending these dinners.In fact, I had a lot more material prepared, but I have to get the Secret Service home in time for their new curfew.(Laughter.)

Thank you very much, everybody.Thank you.(Applause.)